You are Still the One

Story by pinkluhanniexotic
Reviewed by jrose94

Title - 10/10
It’s cute and fits the story well.

Story Description & Foreword - 9/10
I liked your foreword. It was simple, while also giving a good summary of the story without giving too much away. I also liked how you gave detailed descriptions of the characters along with pictures. It helps give the reader a visual.

Graphics - 4/5
The posters within your story looked great. It was nice how you used different posters for different parts of the story. It added some variety. I thought the background you used was cute and simple, as well.

Grammar & Sentence Structure - 4/10
Throughout the story I saw that you did a lot of telling instead of showing. For example: “Now she was sitting on her bed in front of her was her laptop. Today was Saturday so she had no school” (Chapter 10). This makes your story seem a little choppy and emotionless. Instead of just stating what the character is doing, try describing the situation with adjectives or more details without directly telling the reader what is happening. Doing this will give your story more life and vibrancy. This can also make your chapters longer if you feel that they are too short. I also saw how you would sometimes place a subject or verb in the wrong place, but other than that I thought your sentences and grammar were okay.

Vocabulary, Punctuation, & Spelling - 5/10
Your spelling was really nice. I only saw a few misspelled words throughout the whole story. The vocabulary was okay, as well. But there were quite a few issues with the punctuation. One issue that I noticed the most was that you didn’t use the proper punctuation at the end of a character's quote. When writing a piece of dialogue, make sure to put a comma at the end of their statement before the dialogue tag. For example: “You are really handsome Jong’ She then blurted out” (Chapter 10), should be written as, “You are really handsome Jong,’ she then blurted out.” This rule also applies to when a dialogue tag is used before a quote, where the comma is placed at the end of the tag before the first set of quotations. (The dialogue tag is, "she then blurted out.")

Story Plot & Development - 15/20
The story progression and development were good. It was easy to follow and wasn’t confusing like some love triangles can be. I liked how you threw some plot twists in there. It kept me entertained and wanting to read more to see how Hana and Jongin would react to certain situations. The last few chapters were unexpected and exciting. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Characterization - 7/10
The characters were very likable and easy to understand. I loved the interactions between Jongin and Hana! They were so cute and adorable with just the right amount of iness mixed in. Sehun’s character had a very nice personality too, though. At the end of chapter thirty-two, I wasn’t sure if I wanted her be with Sehun or Jongin. I really liked both of them.

Creativity - 5/10
A love triangle is a story plot that has been used often, but I thought you pulled it off in your own unique way.

Reader’s Overall Enjoyment - 13/15
The overall story itself was very nice. The characters were great and the progression of the story was very enjoyable. I really liked it and plan on following your updates to see what happens to Hana, Sehun, and Jongin. Thank you for showing me your story. I really like it, so far. If you have any questions please feel free to ask.

Total point : 72/100
Grade B-

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