I Think I Love You My Wifey

Story by pinkluhanniexotic
Reviewed by YoseobiesLover

Title - 7/10
It’s unique. I’ll give you that.

Story Description & Foreword - 9/10
It’s pretty good. Nice with the one line character lines. Gave an insight on who they all were. Neat and well laid out. However, I would put the actual description of the story at the top, rather then at the very bottom. Also, good on protecting yourself.
 

Graphics - 4/5
I like the gold rings and ribbons. It really ties the plot together.

Grammar & Sentence Structure - 3/10
Your sentences are very choppy and hard to follow. As you do switch to internal dialogue without telling the reader. You also tend to jump from one idea to another and you do not have a steady flow of information. You either don’t give us enough, or dump it all at once. You also switch between past, present, and future tense with your words. Be very careful with that. If you are talking in present tense, don’t use words ending with –ed. For example: (This is one of your sentences. In chapter 3) I went to my room and LAY on my bed. Today is Sunday so there is no school. I am really EXHASTED mentally now. Then my phone started RINGING. I ANSWERED the phone without seeing the caller.
You used lay (which is present tense), then switched to past tense with exhastedED. Ringing = present tense. Answered = past tense.
You also switch from showing us what your characters are doing (For example: She ran a shaky hand through her hair) to this: *sigh.* Not good. Stay consistent.

Vocabulary, Punctuation & Spelling - 4/10
You lack spaces in between your punctuation marks and your sentences. You have too many punctuation marks after sentences. Also, you have placement errors with your punctuation. And your vocab is okay. You do have some good words that show the readers what your characters are doing. And you have good spelling.
 

Story Plot & Development - 15/20
You have a good idea as to where you are going with the story and a lot of what you write are very believable reactions.

Characterization - 10/10
You remain consistent with your character’s personalities, and I love both of them! Cool and sometimes dorky L.Joe and cutie Yoon Jin make a good pair.

Creativity – 2/10
I have seen this plot done before many times. Your storyline has been done before. Mean current girlfriend, blind love, and arranged marriage.
 

Reader's Overall Enjoyment - 10/15
Honestly, your story is okay. It’s just hard to follow and your lack of spaces are hard on the reader’s eyes. Also, you don’t remain consistent with the style you use to write. Pick one and stick with one. It is very important. However, your story is a quick and easy read and I know many readers who enjoy stories like that. So keep up the good work, and message me if you need anything.

Total point : 64/100
Grade D

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