“Hyung, I can’t reach Jaebum hyung.” he said, sadness slowly crept up his features as he opened the door for the Thai prince.

“Just stop this Woo. Just stop it.” Nichkhun snapped, slightly disheartened to find that name came out of his lips again, even when he made such an effort only so he could get Wooyoung’s favorite food for dinner. Does he really have to come home to put up with this? He thought at least Wooyoung would give him a break seeing that his whole body is drenched from the storm outside. Does he even care that he is shivering?

“Why?”

“I know you miss him, but this isn’t the right way to go. He left us, Okay?”

“But hyung… don’t you want him to come back?” he asked, innocence so clearly lingered around his aura, and for once Nichkhun really want to jerk him away from his innocent little world and show him the real world. A harsh world where they have no control over their life and merely living as the company’s pawn.

“It has been a freaking month Wooyoung-ah! Everyone wishes he would come back, not only you. But he is not coming back!”

“But he said he want to come back. He said he missed us!” he pouts, those pouts that would get him what he wants anyday, but not when it comes to this. Not when it comes to Jay.

“That was before that phone call. Come on! Which part of ‘I’m not coming back’ don’t you understand?”

“What phone call?” He asked, and Nichkhun tried his hardest not to grasp his shoulder and shake him senseless until he snaps back to reality.

“Woo, don’t tell me we have to go through this again.” 

“Go through what? I don’t understand hyung.” Confusion slowly coloured his fair skinned face, he puffed his cheeks out of habit and let the air out almost immediately, something that he does whenever he is feeling helpless, Nichkhun noticed.

“Every day, Jang Wooyoung, every single day we have to explain to you that Jay is not coming back. Since that phonecall, you seem to live in your own bubble as though it never happened. You got to stop this!” He felt the tone of his voice slowly rising and tried so hard to keep it natural.

“But hyung..”

“Quit acting this Woo, he left us. HE LEFT. AND HE’S NOT COMING BACK!” He finally snapped, not being able to hold in his disappointments anymore. Regret slowly fills him to the brim as he watched Wooyoung’s gradual change of expression, how his innocent face slowly contorted with pain, and then a single lone tear rolled down his usually puffy cheeks. He began noticing the dark circles in his eyes, how his face seemed to grown a few shades darker, and how his eyes looks empty these days. Nichkhun feel his stomach twisted as he watches this buddy of his crumble down slowly in front of him.

The dorm was awfully quiet for this time of the day, and the pitter patter from the rain outside was the only sound that seemed to fill the air around them. The monotonous rhythmical sound was so soft, yet it is blaring in his ears.

“Why don’t you ever understand? that I will do everything to protect you, but not like this, it doesn’t have to be like this, Wooyoung-ah.” He said slowly as he reached a hand forward towards him, but even his gentle voice doesn’t seem to calm the boy in front of him.

“You have to accept this, he left, Woo. You have to get over it, it’s for the best.” Nichkhun closed the distance between him and Wooyoung, putting a hand on the latter’s shoulder to comfort.

“NO!” Wooyoung screamed, flinging Nichkhun’s hand away from his shoulder, he then pushed him aside and stormed out of the door.

Nichkhun let his body fall into the sofa. He previously thought after going through this routine everyday for the past few weeks, that the pain would slowly subside. Oh how he was really wrong.

It kills him inside seeing Wooyoung crumble. It kills him inside everytime he notices that the boy hasn’t been quite himself since Jay left. The bright, cheerful, ssanti, yellow-wearing boy is slowly fading away without the leader’s presence. These days his laughter seems rare, his words seem limited and he walks with his head hung low. This is definitely not the Jang Wooyoung they know and have grown to adore. That’s why sometimes Nichkhun would let him live in that bubble he have painstakingly build for himself to counter his heartbreak, as long as Wooyoung is happy. But Nichkhun knew, Wooyoung could never be fully happy before he accepted the fact and deal with the loss of a certain short guy that looks like he’s from Seattle.

As thunder resounded outside, flashes of Wooyoung’s image resurfaced in his mind, completely drenched in the rain, coughing and shivering.

“! Wooyoung!” He grabbed the nearest waterproof jacket and an umbrella, dashes out of the door and out into the storm, searching for that boy with desolate eyes.

-- 

Nichkhun have circled the block three times when he finally sees the familiar back sitting on a waist-high wall overlooking the river. He slowly approached him and held the umbrella between them, trying hard not to breathe too hard. He knows he ought to give the boy some space to sort out his thoughts, but he just don’t want him sick.

“I know you’re there hyung” the boy in front of him spoke, calmness so blatant in his tone of voice that it surprised Nichkhun to no end. 

He patted the empty slab of concrete beside him, and Nichkhun proceed to sit down beside him, still holding the umbrella between them.

“You found me again hyung. It have always been you..” the words rolled off his tongue so easily and disappears into the air together with the puffs of air from his lips. His eyes empty, eyeline roaming around the horizon starring at nothing in particular.

Nichkhun always seem to have this uncanny ability of knowing where he is, or maybe it is his perseverance that lasts till the end. When all the others usually have given up, Nichkhun would always be the one that persevere until the end. That’s why Wooyoung is never afraid to get lost, for he knows Nichkhun is always there to find him and show him the way back home.

“Here, wear this.” Nichkhun shoved his jacket in front of him, then proceeds to slung the jacket on Wooyoung’s shoulders instead when he saw the latter not responding.

“I wonder if it’s raining in Seattle too.” His eyes darted to the sky, as though trying to find the answers within the clouds. He was greeted by a mass of blur grey and waters trickling down from the edges of the umbrella.

“We should go back Woo, it’s raining” Nichkhun finally spoke after letting the comfortable silence linger for a few minutes longer than necessary. He could feel Wooyoung shivering beside him, and his thin figure never looked so frail.

“I’ll be fine hyung, just go back without me” His voice croaked, and it breaks Nichkhun’s heart so, because this past few weeks have drained the life out of his dongsaeng.

“I’ll wait. However long it takes. Take your time” and they naturally fell into an elongated silence, where all the sounds that they can hear is just the pitter patter of the rain on the umbrella. 

So Khun would wait beside him, feeling weight in his shoulder as Wooyoung leaned his head on his shoulder and let him cry in his hug. He then he would watch as the younger man fall into a quiet slumber, hoist him up his back, and carry him home.

--

The dorm fell into silence as Nichkhun stepped in with Wooyoung still on his back, the noise quickly transforms itself into series of hushed whisper. 

“Jay issues again?” Taecyeon mouthed as Nichkhun sauntered across the living room. He merely nodded and watched as Taecyeon’s face fell into a deep frown.

“You’re not the only one suffering Woo” the tall man said, voice like a hushed lullaby, as he stood up and proceed to ruffle Wooyoung’s head softly. The small man stirred in his sleep and muttered a few incoherent words, before his head lulled to the side and he falls into deep slumber again.

“Wooyoungie just seem to take it the hardest out of all of us.” Junsu finally spoke, and watched both of Nichkhun and Wooyoung’s shadow slipping into the bedroom door. 

“We can only hope that it’s going to be better tomorrow.”

--

Nichkhun watches Wooyoung’s tear stained face asleep serenely, watching in silence as the latter’s chest heaves up and down rhythmically. 

Everyday always ended up like this, and he doesn’t know when it would end.

Even though Chansung is the official maknae, the members always have a soft spot for Wooyoung as though he was the real maknae of the group. He was always the one with the smallest build, the one with most innocent look in his face, and the one with the most fragile and pure heart. So fragile and pure that all of them tried to protect it to no end. Even Jay. Especially Jay. 

He remembered his conversation with Jay on that eventful night last September.

“WHAT? Jay, are you crazy? you’re really thinking of going back to Seattle?” when Jay had called him out in the middle of night for a chat in the corridors outside their dorm, Nichkhun didn’t expect it to contain a news this big.

“Calm down Khun, please. I don’t want to wake up the boys. Look Khun, I need you to take care of Wooyoung, I know he’s going to take this the hardest, I need you to be there hanging onto him when I walk out of the door. Don’t let him send me to the airport. No matter what happens, please help Wooyoung get over this, and spend as little time being emo. If it isn’t you, I don’t know who else I can trust.”

“Hyung..”

“This is going to be the last thing I ask of you, Khun-ah.”

He would have done it even if Jay didn’t ask him to. He would. He would make sure he is the one to pick up the pieces of Wooyoung’s shattered heart and soul, and put the pieces back together. He knew he would be missing the pieces Jay took to Seattle, but Khun would try his best to fill the void that Jay left, even when he knows he would never be able to. Because Jay is irreplaceable, and even after he left, it felt as though his shadow never left their dorm room. 

He snapped out of his thoughts as Wooyoung stirred in his sleep and mumbled some incoherent words.

He knows, when he steps out in the morning tomorrow, he will most likely have to put up with the same questions Wooyoung will ask about Jaebum. He will have to argue that Jaebum is not coming back, and Wooyoung will put up his fight, insisting that the phone call never happened, insisting that Jaebum is coming back, and to this Khun will have to explain to him time and time again that Jaebum is not coming back. 

His eyes would then fills with tears of disbelief that would spill out uncontrollably from his eyes and Khun would never fail to wipe away his tears every time, even at the times when Wooyoung didn’t let him to. 

On some good days, he is more accepting than the others. 
On some bad days, he argues stronger than others.
On some good days, he would forget about Jay for half the day.
On some bad days, he would not talk to him at all after he told him the truth.

But something never changed, his feelings of adoration and admiration for Jaebum is always there, and as much as Nichkhun Horvejkul tried to break into the wall Jang Wooyoung’s heart made to contain Park Jaebum in there, he is unable to do so.

--

“Hyung, did Jaebum hyung called yet?”  

“Wooyoung-ah..” he started, breathing in more air than necessary to brace for the truth that he would have to tell the boy in front of him. 

Today is another day, and tomorrow will be another day he will spend convincing Jang Wooyoung that Park Jaebum is his past, and Nichkhun Horvejkul is his future.