Some males are so feminine they could be considered female. Baekhyun wasn’t like this, but he was just girly enough for Kyungsoo to call him “Chanyeol’s girlfriend.” I was not amused. Despite my many reminders that Baekhyun, my new boyfriend, was in fact not a girl, I was continuously ignored. However, this was not the end of my problems.

    “Have you tasted the rainbow today?” The screeching voice of Kyungsoo reached my ears.

    “No, you ate all the skittles, remember?” I shouted back from my bedroom, as I fixed my hair in the mirror.

    “What I mean is, have you frolicked with baby lambs?” his increasingly annoying voice yelled, a hint of teasing in his tone.

    “I don’t know, and I don’t want to know what you mean by that, but should I go with white or black?” I asked holding up to shirts as I padded into the living room.

    “They’re both so bland. Why don’t you wear something that will distract from your derpy face. But then again, your girlfriend wouldn’t be able to see anyway since she’s so short. Isn’t she like 3’7”?”

    “You’re shorter than her-- I mean him. Him. You’re shorter than him.”

    “Aha, so you concede. You have a girlfriend! But you should get a boyfriend. You’re so obviously gay after all.”

    “Black it is then.” And with that I walked back into my room, ignoring the constant flow of insults from the miniature being living inside the piano. Nothing could distract me from tonight. After all, it was our two day anniversary. It’s a very important milestone in a couple’s relationship. Nothing says ‘two day anniversary’ more than rickety ferris wheels and two dollar games. That’s right! A carnival.

    It’s safe to say that Baekhyun wasn’t thrilled about my ingenious plan. I mean, Kyungsoo calls him a female for a reason. But he finally caved after I promised to win him a giant plushie. And I would get him that plushie even if I had to sacrifice my limbs to the devil. It’s a healthy relationship we have. If he wants something, I get it. No matter the cost.

    “Does your girlfriend know you’re gay?” Kyungsoo called as I did the final checks to my beautiful outfit. Not everyone would wear a suit to the carnival but I’m not everyone. Not everyone is 7’4”, including me. But I’m sure someone is.

    “Yes, he does. That’s why we’re dating.”

    “Oh, so she’s just a beard? It’s not very nice to use people. You should really come out of the closet. I know they’re exquisite, but really now.” I rolled my eyes, fixing my tie once again.

“I’m leaving.” I said, entering the living room. “What do you think?” I asked, doing a fabulous twirl.

“I think you could lose the corsage.”

“Too much?”

“Yeah, just a bit. Where did you say you were going again?”

“The carnival.” I said proudly, unclipping the flower from my suit jacket.

“Uh-huh.” Kyungsoo said, unconvinced. He eyed me from head to toe once again before the doorbell rang. “Have fun!” He chimed as I walked towards the door.

Baekhyun was a vision of loveliness. His second day hair, t-shirt, and ragged jeans were complimented perfectly by his sneakers held together by probably an entire roll of neon pink duct tape.

His eyes widened comically, almost as wide as Kyungsoo’s, but not quite. “Am I underdressed?”

“No, he’s overdressed!” Kyungsoo’s voice echoed from inside the piano.

“Who’s that?” Baekhyun asked, peering over my shoulder and into the house.

“Uh… it’s um… my pet… snail. Yeah. Snail. His name’s Gary. Ya know, like Spongebob…”

“Uh-huh. Why didn’t you tell me about your pet snail… that talks?”

I fumbled for a second, he actually believed me? Baekhyun wasn’t the brightest bulb in the knife drawer, probably due to the many brain cells lost through the years of inhaling hairspray. “I was going to tell you- but over our date. Speaking of which, let’s go.” And with that, I yanked Baekhyun out of the house and slammed the door in Kyungsoo’s face, which was in the piano, and not at the door.

I always thought Baekhyun was gorgeous, but apparently he was even more so than I imagined, because people could not take their eyes off us.

    “They’re staring at you,” I said, my voice bordering on ’proud parent’.

    “No, Chanyeol. They’re staring at you. No one wears a suit to the carnival. Well, that and the fact that you’re towering over everyone else.”

    “You sound just like Kyungsoo,” I said, not really thinking.

    “Who?” Baekhyun asked, looking up at me with a confused expression.

    “Ah, my snail.”

    “But I thought his name was Gary…”

    “Kyungsoo is just a pet name. Cause you know… he’s a pet.”

    “Oh,” Baekhyun looked thoughtful for a moment. “And where did you get this talking snail?”

    “Well, I guess you could say he appeared out of nowhere.” Just like he appeared out of my piano, which is not fit to hold human life. But then again, with eyes like that, he definitely isn’t human.

    And just like Kyungsoo appeared out of nowhere, the rain that suddenly drenched us on a sunny day, was completely unexpected.

    “I am so sorry, Baekhyun.” I said, continuing to apologize as we ran, seeking for cover within my car.

    “It’s okay, I needed a shower anyway.” He smiled his beautiful rectangular grin.

    “Should we continue this at your house?” I asked nervously, both from the wonderful butterflies in my tummy, and because I knew that Kyungsoo wouldn’t keep his mouth shut if we went to my house.

    “No, my house is being monitored by the police right now, I can’t go back there. Besides, I want to meet Gary, the talking snail.”

    I gulped.

AN: Early update because we liked the comments.

OH NO! What's going to happen when they're at Chanyeol's house? Why is the police at Baekhyun's house? If Chansoo is in the tags then why is Baekhyun the 'girlfriend'? 

QUESTIONS! SO MANY QUESTIONS! 

Commet what you think the answers are. Crack induced answers are accepted. :)