http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjPBn_jfmPU&feature=relmfu

TOP'S POV

i was watching everything 

the entire conversation of the boys...i was heartbroken and sad to see how hard they fell for those girls and how hard it is for hoya to admit it. i know he knows his feelings for yoon bora,however, he is afraid that if he says it aloud then she will only get hurt. he is afraid that she will die...he is afraid she will leave him...they all are afraid 

hoya came stomping down and soon the others followed behind 

they were about to go to their rooms but i called them over 

"sit," i ordered and they did what i said 

i sighed and i couldn't help but start shedding tears and i saw how surprised the boys were as i never showed them my weak side 

"boys...i'm sorry," i apologized 

they were silent 

"i know how much you love them...i really do but you...your guys mission are to kill them, you do understand that right?" i asked and they all nodded except for hoya 

"hoya even though you deny it, everyone knows that you love bora.."

hoya got up and yelled "I DON'T LOVE HER!" 

but instead of anger and denial i saw clear and devastated tears 

"no...i don't love her," he whispered 

"hoya..."

"no no no no,"

"hoya..."

"STOP!" 

"hoya.."

"love? no i don't love her...no...no"

"you admitted everything to Groo...you think i never knew..but i do..i know everything...how you boys feel, the way you look at them, the way you worry about them..everything..."

"is that love?" hoya asked as tears continued to flow 

i didn't answer 

"what is love? isn't love supposed to be happy? Then why is it that my love is so painful and pitiful? huh? why? why can't we be happy like other people? why can't we love like other people? why can we never smile so happily? WHY?" Hoya asked as he fell on his knees and started sobbing into his hands 

"i don't want to stop my feelings either, i don't want my brothers to stop their feelings. why? because this is the first time we were ever this happy, the first time we felt like humans...but if we don't stop, our feelings will only grow but so will the pain...i don't want to die of heartache...i don't want to live life in despair for killing someone i love deeply...i can't...i don't want to," he said as he sobbed 

hoya suddenly grabbed where his heart was 

"this heart won't  stop beating quickly when i see her...it won't stop beating...why?"

all the boys were already crying 

they couldn't lift their heads as they tried to hide their tears 

i looked up as i wanted to stop my tears but once i looked down to see how much pain and hurt they were going through, tears immediately fell

"hyung...why are we doing this? can't we stop with this? can't we be humans too? please...i beg you...i want to be happy too...please...."

"i'm sorry..i'm so sorry...."