Better That We Break

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I re-write it.

“This year’s award goes to… SNSD!”

Another award was rewarded to GG for their success in their album ‘Mask’. The song was different with their previous hits, it was a little bit dark yet catchy, absorbing attention from a lot of people, even other kpop fans outside of SONE admitted their awesomeness in this album.

Aside from those beautiful songs, they also rewarded for the best dance choreography for their title song. Which was probably had something to do with the fact that their ‘lovely’ couple Taeyeon and Yuri had their solo dance in that song.

Never before Tiffany hated giving speech in any award, yet she found it irritating as they got more victory just because the camera somehow would shift between her and Taeri as she gave her speech. What made her more upset was their chummy action, she knew Taeyeon and Yuri were basically sisters and there were almost not any boundaries in SNSD physical interaction –like Sunny groping them and all- but Yuri had this unexplainable looks whenever she got close with Taeyeon. It irked Tiffany.

Unfortunately her girlfriend didn’t notice that looks. Taeyeon being Taeyeon was being her usual dense self, like today, she was happily hugging back Yuri as the latter practically ed Taeyeon in front of the media.

[Tiffany’s POV]

“Fany-ah~” Taeyeon gave me back hug as I changed into my pajama.

To be honest I still annoyed by Taeyeon and Yuri's display of affection back in the award show but her touch as always was always so good and soothing all my nerves. The last thing I knew I was leaning back at Taeyeon’s embrace. I could feel her lips on the base on my neck, she knew my body so well. She gave it playful bite just to it gently after.

 I closed my eyes to enjoy her touch more, but out of nowhere my mind played the intimate act that my girlfriend and her ‘official’ lover did back in the award show before.

 I missed those times when I could freely hugged Taeyeon or linked our arms together on stage, with our fans cheering on us.

Since Taeyeon and Yuri dating news out in the open, their fans grew massively big. Even some of me and Taeyeon’s shipper, Locksmith, jumped ship. It was not only affecting me and Taeyeon, but also the other member too because they couldn’t interact with either Taeyeon or Yuri freely without getting bashed on social media after.

The public love Taeyeon and Yuri a little too much. It strained mine and Taeyeon’s relationship in so many ways.

I tried to talk about this matter to Taeyeon, but my pride always stood in the way.

I knew Taeyeon knew about my insecurity, but acting on it and admitting it out loud to her was a different matter. In our relationship I’d like to think that Taeyeon was the reacher and I was the settler. The settler never got jealous of the reacher, it’d mess the whole dynamic of our relationship.

I always took control on our relationship. Admitting to Taeyeon that I was jealous of her would make her be in charge. I couldn’t let that happen.

So I tried as much as I could to suppress my jealousy to the minimum limit to avoid any fight happened between me and Taeyeon or worst, between me and Yuri.

Speaking of the devil. That so called bestfriend of mine harbored secret feelings to my girlfriend. I saw it in the way she looked at Taeyeon.

Her eyes and that hideous couple rings clearly showed her true feelings.

Yuri and the ex-girlfriend of hers whom she dated for about three years didn’t even had any couple rings and suddenly she agreed on having one once she had this ‘relationship’ with MY Taeyeon?

I would try to avoid any confrontation with Yuri but I wouldn’t mind to have one if she tried another moves on my stupid dense girlfriend.

“Let’s get to sleep?” I could feel Taeyeon intensified her kisses on my jaw, she lowered to my neck, climbed to my earlobe and ending it with gentle bite.

I couldn’t help but to let a loud moan.

“Just sleeping?” I didn’t want to make love to her but on the other side, my consciousness pushed me to claim Taeyeon as mine. I would mark my girlfriend in the most obvious place to send message for Yuri.

Taeyeon was mine. Yesterday, today, and forever.

“Please Taetae.. I can’t refuse their request, it’s my duty afterall”

“But you already promised me!”

“I know, that’s why I am not saying we will cancel this date. I am just setting back the time.”

Taeyeon sulked on the couch, as I  had to rain check our date –again- because of work. Lately I had been involved in the production more. I  handled not only SNSD’s outfit but other group as well, like our hoobae Red Velvet. They were going to have comeback in two months. Things being so hectic lately, I often got unpredictable call from the company, like today.

I told Taeyeon that in the future I wished for us to work behind the scene, instead of continued our career as singers. I was tired of this constant lying and all those entertainment bull. Taeyeon had her beautiful voice as her asset, she often got asked to mentor our trainees or even our hoobaes. I had to work twice as her, to prove my ability aside from singing and dancing. That was the reason of my constant busy hours. I knew I had to sacrifice our time together but this was for our future. I wanted to give the best for her.

I gave Taeyeon a kiss behind the door as I was leaving her for another 3-4 hours. I promised her we would still had our date on her favorite restaurant later at night.

I waited for the elevator to open. The elevator dinged, signaling its arrival. Once the door slide open, I was greeted by a very familiar face.

“Hey Fany, going somewhere?” Yuri asked me casually.

I held the door opened, “Yeah, those RV kids need me.” I eyed her belonging, she had a paper bag in her hand and a paper tray of coffees on her other hand. “Who’s those for?”

“Ah right, I almost forget.” Yuri handed the paper coffee to me, “I brought you and Taeyeon some coffees. Please take yours.”

I took one of the coffees, Yuri bought my favorite after all.

“Well, I’ll accompany Taeyeon while you’re going. Don’t worry I’ll make her happy when you can’t.”

Seriously sometimes I felt that Yuri tried to test my patience.

“You can try..But she’ll be the happiest when she’s with me.”

I entered the elevator. Yuri, already walked out of the elevator, then turned her body to me.

“That’s just because she hasn’t dated me yet.” Yuri smirked at me. “Bye bye Miyoung, enjoy your time.”

Then the elevator door closed.

The more I had to be away from Taeyeon because of my work, the more Yuri advance toward Taeyeon intensified.

Taeyeon might not noticed it but she smiled more nowdays. She acted a lot more dorky. Yuri brought out that side of her that I had tried to suppress because it didn’t match with her image as idol.

Once we had time together, she’d talked about everything she did with Yuri. I knew she didn’t do it intentionally she talked about it just because we ran out topic to talk that involved the both of us.

As much as I hated to admit it. Taeyeon and I were drifting apart.

But I had to stay strong. It was for our better future together. I trusted Taeyeon. I knew her like the back of my hand.

Taeyeon was still in love with me

We had big fight at our anniversary.

I was at fault. I promised her I would come at 6 pm. I was late for 4 hours and she waited for me.

She rented the whole restaurant just to celebrate our special day.

I felt so guilty, but my ego wouldn’t let me to admit my fault.

The exhaustion from overworking myself didn’t help either.

We had the dorm for ourselves tonight. The girl already familiar with our rituals on our anniversary so they let us alone for the night.

We were supposed to make love the whole night just like what we always did. Instead of it Taeyeon and I spend it with screaming at each other.

Taeyeon was always soft spoken, but when she wanted to, she could speak louder than me.

We never had fight this big before. At least not this kind of fight. Taeyeon usually gave me her cold shoulder for a week tops. Right now she was throwing the cushion from the sofa to me.

“I am tired to be canceled out by you Tiffany Hwang! This isn’t one way relationship! I don’t want to be the one who’ll always give in to you!”

I dodged the cushion that was thrown at my face.

“I was working for our relationship’s sake! When were you when I was busting my of huh?! You were playing with that so called girlfriend of yours!”

“The last time I checked, you’re still my girlfriend. Yuri is just friend, like the other girls.”

“You don’t spend your time with the other girls as much as you spend it with Yuri! You know what Taeyeon? As I remember, that was exactly similar with the beginning of our relationship.”

“What are you saying Stephanie?”  Taeyeon looked straight at me. She always called me by my birth name whenever she angry at me.

“You’re falling in love with Kwon Yuri!” I spat at her.

Taeyeon grab the nearest thing beside her, which was Juhyun’s book, and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with loud voice.

“How dare you doubting my feelings towards you after all that I had done for you?!” Taeyeon screamed at me.

She didn’t stop at that.

“You wanted me to use more pink in my clothing, I wore them for you. You wanted me to keep our relationship secret from our parents, I did that for you. Until now my parents really think that my girlfriend is Yuri. You wanted me to fake relationship with other man I ing did that! I lost a lot of fans out of it but I never said a thing to you. You didn’t want to admit that it was you that I kissed on those picture yet I didn’t complain. Do you have any idea how many times you make me feel like I am nothing to you?! You always choose your career. This whole working things for our future is just another excuse of you choosing your career over me!”

I gulped. I had nothing to say to her. Her words flooded my mind.

She waited for my apologize or anything from me. I could see a great disappointment in her glassy eyes.

Then Taeyeon bolted to our bedroom. I felt something bad would happen.

As I entered our room, Taeyeon was throwing her clothes to an open suitcase. Never ever before she wanted to leave in our fight.

I marched towards her and closed the suitcase.

“What are you doing?” I hissed at her.

Taeyeon pushed me away, she kept throwing her things on that damn suitcase.

“STOP IT!” I held both her hands, she tried to struggle out of it.

“It’s freaking 1 in the morning! Where will you go?!”

Taeyeon kept silent, while moving more items into her suitcase.

Suddenly the devil in me whispered bad thought in my head.

“You’re going to go to Yuri’s place isn’t it?” I spoke dangerously calm to her.

She scoffed at my accusation. “Yuri again? You still don’t get it don’t you? Stop blaming everything to other people. This is OUR relationship, we are both at fault at this!”

“You defend her already?” I sarcastically clapped my hands. “Don’t forget to invite me on your wedding.”

Taeyeon looked at me in disbelief. She zipped her suitcase and took it from our bed. She tried to move past me but I caught her arm in time.

“Fany-ah, let it go! It hurts.”

I didn’t heard her. My anger overflowing my judgment. I pulled Taeyeon’s arm and threw her to our bed.

I straddled her hips. She was struggling to push me from atop of her. I held both of her hands. I kissed her but she wouldn’t return my kiss.

I held both of her hands with one hand. My other hand working on her blouse to ed them. I had no more patience, I ripped the rest.

I peppered kiss on her collarbones. I pulled down her bra and gave her kisses.

She still wouldn’t respond to my action so I and bite her harder.

I was so lost in my mind, when I heard a faint sound of sobbing.

That sound made me realize what horrible thing I was doing to the love of my life.

I raised my body and looked at her face. She was crying silently. I released her hands free. She instantly covered her face with them.

She curled up her body. Her cries got louder.

I sat down beside her. I tried to held it all night but finally I let my tears fell down.

I hugged her from behind. She stiffened on my touch but I wouldn’t let her go. This was probably the last time I held her in my arms.

She calmed down some times later.

“Fany ah?”

I heard she called my name

“Please.. I am sorry Taetae.”

I tightened my hug.

“Let’s break up..”

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One more chapter to go ^^