I know it's a school night but I didn't want to leave everyone in suspense for too long.

Part II

Chanyeol leaves the apartment as soon as he can, and he makes a run for Sungwoo’s place. He prays that Sungwoo hasn’t gone out, or isn’t already sleeping. He forgot his phone, so he can’t even call. By the time he make it there, he’s sweating and his head is spinning, and he feels like he’s about to faint, but he refuses to allow himself to give up. He runs up the stairs and bangs on Sungwoo’s door with his last bit of strength.

When the door opens, Chanyeol collapses into Sungwoo’s arms. He’s crying silently, to winded to even sob.

“Chanyeol, what’s happened?”

Sungwoo drags Chanyeol inside and lays him out on the couch. He backs away, but Chanyeol grabs him.

“Tao,” he wheezes, “Tao got shot.”

Sungwoo gasps and falls to his knees. “Oh god. Is he alive?”

Chanyeol nods, and then he starts to cry even harder. Yes, Tao is alive, but how much will things change now? their lives will never go back to how they were, and Chanyeol feels like he’s lost something very important, before he had a chance to really enjoy what he had. Sungwoo pulls Chanyeol into his lap and holds him until he finally catches his breath. Then Sungwoo takes him to the bathroom, and helps him wash up. He leaves Chanyeol’s shirt on, but rolls up his sleeves. He sees the mark from the needle.

“What happened there?” Sungwoo asks quietly.

Chanyeol explains about how Kris took them to his planet, and how he donated his blood to Tao. How he only just got back, how he didn’t even tell anyone where he was going.

“We have to call them,” Sungwoo says. “You shouldn’t have left like that.”

“But I had to see you,” Chanyeol tells him. “I had to…we were so close to losing him. And it could have been anyone of us…” he starts to cry again. “It could have been me.”

Sungwoo gathers Chanyeol into his arms and holds him. “It wasn’t you. And Tao is going to be okay.”

“But we were so close,” Chanyeol sobs. “So close to losing him. Oh god, Sungwoo, what if…I was so scared!”

Sungwoo looks pained as he tries to dry Chanyeol’s cheeks. “I know. Nothing is ever more scary than a close call. But you’ll get through this, you all will, and Tao will be okay.”

Sehun stares at the TV, not really seeing it. Hero lies across his legs, whining every now and then. He knows that something is wrong, and he can tell that Sehun is upset. Sehun is so glad to have Hero with him, and he just knows that the dog is going to be sleeping in his and Suho’s room for weeks to come. It’s the only way Sehun is going to be able to sleep at night, if he even can sleep after this.

Suho runs a hand through Sehun’s hair. “Are you showering?”

Sehun shakes his head.

“Can I turn off the TV?”

Sehun shakes his head again.

“Are you hearing me?”

Sehun shakes his head.

Suho kisses Sehun’s cheek, and Sehun pulls his brain back together. “What did you say?”

Suho looks at him sadly. “Are you…well, I know you’re not alright. But this silence is worrying me. Talk to me.”

Sehun gulps. “I…I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he admits. Suho wraps his arms around Sehun and holds him close, and Sehun melts into him. “I hate shooting people, I always have. But now Tao’s gotten…and I don’t think…I don’t think I can ever pick up a gun again. Just thinking about it make me want to puke.”

“Sehun, that is your choice, and you have a choice. I told you before, you will always have a home here, no matter what you decide to do. And what you’re feeling right now is totally normal. None of us will be picking up a gun for a long time. Some may never do it again.”

Sehun shakes in Suho’s arms, and he feels his eyes sting with tears. “But what about Tao? He may recover physically but…but what about mentally? What’s going to happen to him?”

Suho’s grip tightens. “I don’t know, baby. I wish I did.”

Sehun remembers how he felt when he realized he had killed a man. The knowledge still makes him feel sick to his stomach, he can’t imagine what it’s like to have a brush with death. And he thinks of all the people they’ve encountered, people they hurt. They try not to kill, but the people they face don’t know that. They’re staring down the barrel of a gun, but they don’t know that it’s a bullet that’s only going to shock them into unconsciousness, not kill them. Did they really deserve that?

“I can hear you thinking,” Suho says. “Sehun, the people we encounter are terrorists and murderers. Many of them know they face death themselves in order to kill as many people as possible. We save thousands of lives every month. We’re not monsters.” He kisses Sehun’s head. “You’re not a monster.”

But Sehun feels like one.

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he says again. “But I don’t want to…to abandon everyone. I don’t want to let anyone down.”

“Sehun,” Suho gasps, “You are not letting anyone down. We are your friends above anything else, and we can all respect—”

“You can say that for yourself,” Sehun interrupts, “But you can’t speak for everyone. How do you know what they think?”

“They know that this isn’t for everyone. You’re part of the team but nobody would ask you to sacrifice your mental health for it. You need to do whatever is going to help you live with yourself.”

Sehun starts to cry, and he muffles it against Suho’s shoulder. “Stay with me,” he sobs, half hoping that Suho can’t understand him. “I’m so selfish but please, please don’t go back to the Agency. I can’t lose you.”

But Suho understands him anyway. “Sehun, it’s going to be a while before we get any prompting from them. But just as I wouldn’t make you go back, don’t ask me to leave.”

Sehun knew he would say that, but it breaks his heart anyway. He buries his face in Suho’s neck and cries, and wishes that he could change Suho’s mind. More than anything, he finds himself wishing that he could pray. But right now, he can’t find it in him to believe in God.

Baekhyun has no sense of how much time has passed, he doesn’t have a watch and to be honest, he’s scared to check the time. Already he’s worried that it’s taking too long, that they should have gotten news one way or another by now. What’s worse is that Kris has started crying. Baekhyun doesn’t think he’s ever seen Kris cry. When Baekhyun first met him, he thought Kris was stoic and scary, and it wasn’t until after living with him for a few weeks that he realized Kris was nothing but a big softie, and a bit silly. But he’s never seen him cry, and it’s scaring Baekhyun. Despite knowing him, it’s jarring to see someone as tall, sever-looking, with an arm that could and has crushed gun barrels between two fingers, sit in a chair and cry for hours. He’s not sobbing, and aside from a sniffle every now and then he’s totally silent, which somehow makes it worse.

Baekhyun tries to imagine what he would be like if it was Jongdae who was hurt. He knows he would be inconsolable, screaming and throwing things, demanding answers. He doesn’t know if he could bear to sit silently. He wishes Kris would get up and scream, or punch a wall. He can deal with emotional outbursts, but silent misery is something he’s not sure how to deal with.

“Excuse me, are you here for Tao?”

They all jump and look up. none of them even noticed the doctor approaching them. She offers a smile. “The operation is over. He’s being moved to a room right now.”

Kris leaps to his feet. “Is he okay?”

“It will take time, but he will absolutely recover.”

Kris staggers forward and hugs the doctor tightly. “Thank you,” he says, “Thank you so much, thank you…” and he repeats it over and over, until the doctor gently pushes him off and says that she can take them to see Tao, if they want to.

They follow her downstairs, to a quiet wing that seems to be occupied only by a few other people. Tao is a room near the middle of the wing, and it’s full of nurses bustling around. They stand outside of the room and look in through a window while they wait for the room to clear.

“He’ll be asleep for a few hours yet,” the doctor says while they wait. “Rest is important now.” She looks at Kris and lays a hand on his arm. “He will…experience some discomfort at first.”

Kris looks like he might finally cry. “You mean he’ll be in pain.”

“Not nearly as much as he was when he was shot,” the doctor protests. “But we did so much to his body that there’s no way he won’t feel some of it. We’ll give him medication for it, but he might complain. If he does, just know that it’s really not a great deal of pain. Things will seem worse than they really are.”

“How can you promise that?” Baekhyun asks.

The doctor points at a machine. “That device can measure how much pain a person is in. When coming out of surgery, even patients who experience slight discomfort might say that they’re hurting a great deal. It’s only natural, after all having organs replaced is a big deal. But as they come to their senses, they realize that what they’re feeling isn’t all that strong. The machine reflects how their nervous system is actually responding to the sensations of the new organs, so we know how to treat them and we don’t give them an overdose of pain medicine.”

Baekhyun knows that it makes sense, but his head is spinning and it’s hard to process what he’s hearing. He’s about to ask for all that to be explained again, but then the nurses and doctors leave Tao’s room, and they’re allowed to enter. Everyone stands back as Kris rushes in first. Baekhyun looks away, feeling like an intruder. It’s several minutes before Jongdae takes Baekhyun’s hand and leads him into the room.

Tao looks so small, which is saying something because he’s a fairly big man. Not as tall as Kris or as broad as Sehun, but Baekhyun has never thought of him as small. He’s covered with thick blankets, with his arms placed on top of them. His fingers are covered with padding at the tips, and the doctor explains that it’s to keep him from picking at the wound in his sleep and when he first wakes up. But more than anything, Baekhyun notices how pale he is, and how untidy his hair is. Tao would have never allowed himself to be seen in such a state.

Kris is sitting on the bed, cradling Tao’s hand. Baekhyun stands next to him, and wraps an arm around his shoulders. Kris takes a deep, shuddering breath, and then leans heavily into Baekhyun’s side. Baekhyun his hair, wishing he could say something to offer Kris some kind of comfort. But what could he possibly say? They had come so close to losing Tao for good, what could Baekhyun say to make the situation better?

Kris sits up and wipes his eyes. “I should call Suho, and tell them the news.”

“We’ll tell them,” Jongdae says. “We’ll go home and tell them in person.”

Baekhyun nods in agreement, but he doesn’t want to leave just yet. He’s remembering the first time he met Tao, and Tao called him “beef-hyung.” And he’s remembering all the times that he and Tao had fun together, bragging about how good-looking they were in eyeliner (even helping each other put it on sometimes), playing (cheating at) poker, staying up late to watch sappy romance dramas (Tao refused to watch with Kris, he says Kris ruins it for him). Tao is a dear friend, one Baekhyun can’t live without. But he came so close to finding out what life without Tao would be like.

Baekhyun sinks down on the bed and lays a hand on Tao’s cheek. “You hang in there,” he whispers. “Do you hear me? You hang in there, get better soon and come back to us. We’re all here for you.” He kisses Tao’s forehead and stubbornly refuses to cry. But then Kris squeezes his hand and smiles at him, and Baekhyun breaks down in tears.

“Damn it,” he sobs into Kris’ shoulder. “I can’t believe we almost lost him…”

So close, he thinks to himself. Too close.

Jongdae and Baekhyun leave soon after, and Kris settles in for a long wait. He tries so hard to keep it together, to make a plan for what he’ll tell Tao when he wakes up, but all he can do it worry. His mind wanders, and he can’t concentrate. He falls asleep for a few minutes, and when he wakes up he scolds himself—how can he sleep at a time like this? He has to be ready for when Tao wakes up, he has to stay awake. He slips Tao’s ring back on his finger, and pretends that he never took it away. Everything is fine, and Tao will wake up soon, and everything will be okay as long as he just stays awake.

But he falls asleep again, and he has a nightmare. He dreams that Tao wakes up, and starts screaming at him.

‘How could you do this to me? You swore you wouldn’t make me change! You promised!’

Kris wakes up sweating, on the verge of tears. He clutches Tao’s hand and stares down at him, hoping with all his heart that Tao can understand why he did this.

“I wasn’t trying to make you change,” He whispers. “I just wanted you to live.”

“Kyungsoo…Kyungsoo!”

“Mmf? Kai…it’s 3 AM.”

“I know, please wake up, I need to talk to you!”

Kyungsoo pushes himself upright and rubs his eyes. “What’s going on?” He asks, reaching for Kai. His fingers jab Kai’s cheek, and Kyungsoo pats his face gently. “Sorry, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Kai says breathlessly. “I mean, sort of. I just…I couldn’t sleep and I’ve been thinking about it for a while and…and I want to find out. If I can have a baby.”

Kyungsoo rubs his eyes, and leans over to turn on a lamp. Kai stares at him, tired but alert and determined.

“I can’t stand not knowing,” Kai says, twisting his hands together. “Especially now, given what’s happened. I just feel like I need to find out as soon as possible, it’s driving me up the wall, not knowing.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says soothingly, rubbing Kai’s arms. “We can call the Agency in the morning and make an appointment for an examination.”

“And you’ll come with me?” Kai asks.

“Of course I will.”

Kai hugs Kyungsoo tightly. “And about…getting us all back here. I didn’t know I was that strong.”

“I know you didn’t.”

“I don’t think I can ever do that again. I don’t know if I want to.”

“You don’t have to.”

Kai pulls back, looking worried. “The Agency might make me.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, rage building inside him at the mere thought. “I won’t let that happen. They know better than to mess with me and my boyfriend.”

Kai finally smiles, and he kisses Kyungsoo lightly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Suho calls every day, every two hours. Sometimes Kris answers, sometimes he’s just too tired or doesn’t know what to say. There’s no news, Tao has been asleep for three days. But today, there is news.

“They’re going to let him wake up,” Kris whispers into his communicator. “They say it should be a few hours.”

He hears Suho’s sharp inhale. “That’s good, right? It means he’s recovering.”

“Yes, they say that everything looks good. They’ll know more once he’s allowed to eat.”

“Good, good,” Suho says. “Do you think we’ll be able to see him? To actually come to the hospital and visit him?”

Kris’ parents came by yesterday, his father said that he would try to help the situation any way he could.

“My dad might be able to do something,” Kris hears himself say. “I’ll ask him about it.”

“We miss you both,” Suho tells him.

“We miss you too,” Kris says. He squeezes Tao’s hand. “How is everyone?”

A heavy sigh tells him all he needs to know. “We’re…trying,” Suho says. “We’re all reeling. Sehun’s thinking that maybe he’ll retire. Chanyeol’s spending a lot of time with Sungwoo.”

“How’s Minseok?”

“He finally came out of his room this morning. Looked absolutely terrified, poor guy. Yixing got him some stronger suppressants from the Agency. We think that has something to do with why he reappeared.”

“He’s a hero.”

“I know. But he thinks we hate him, or we’re afraid of him.”

It’s Kris’ turn to sigh. “Tell him…is he there? Can I talk to him?”

“Hold on…” There’s a brief pause. “He’s back in his room with Lu Han and Yixing. I’m not going to interrupt them.”

“I don’t blame you. I’ll call in a few hours when Tao’s awake, so you can all talk to him.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful. Tell him we love him, and we’re all hoping for the best.”

Kris smiles at Tao and pets his hair. “I’ll tell him. Talk to you later.” He hangs up and presses a kiss to Tao’s temple.

“They’re all waiting for you to wake up. They say they love you.”

Tao still looks so pale, and the doctors say that it’s because of the blood loss, and he should look much healthier in a few days. Kris keeps asking if he needs another blood transfusion, but they all say no, that his body just needs to replenish it on its own now, and this is natural for humans. Sickly though he looks, Kris has to admit that Tao looks so at peace. There’s no evidence of pain or betrayal on his features, though that may change soon.

The doctors come and remove a few needles from Tao’s arms, including the drip that was helping to keep him asleep.

Doctor Walai, the head of the floor and lead surgeon during Tao’s operation, presses a remote into Kris’ hand. “If he wakes up, push this button,” she says, “And one of us will come to check on him. He may not be conscious for very long, but over the next few days he’ll wake up often, and we’ll monitor his pain. Within five days he should be able to stay awake for several hours at a time, though his sleep pattern may still be irregular.”

Kris nods, and thanks the doctor again for all her help. He knows that what she and the surgeons had an extremely hard time with Tao, even if his body is like that of the people’s on Kris’ planet, he’s still a different species.

“I’ll never be able to thank you enough for saving him.”

Doctor Walai smiles and shakes her head. “Just love that boy, and treasure him for all of your days.”

It takes four hours for Tao to begin to stir. His breathing becomes harsh and rapid, his eyes squeeze shut, and just as Kris reaches for him, he tosses his head back and lets out a pained cry.

Kris squeezes the remote in his hands so hard that it breaks. “Tao, Tao my love, can you hear me?”

Tao gasps and writhes. “Ow,” he moans, “Ow, oh it hurts, my stomach, ouch…”

Nurses come running, they fuss over Tao as he continues to moan in pain. One nurse puts his hand on Kris’ arm and tells him to comfort his beloved in some way.

Kris takes Tao’s hand and squeezes gently. “Sweetie, can you hear me?”

Tao stills briefly. “Yifan, my stomach hurts…” he whines, his eyes still closed.

“I know,” Kris says, his voice breaking, “I know it hurts, but it’s going to be okay. Can you open your eyes, can you look at me, baby?”

Tao whimpers, and he slowly blinks his eyes open. It takes him a while to focus on Kris.

“Hi there,” Kris says, smiling through tears. “Welcome back.”

Tao squints, and one of the nurses dims the lights. “Yifan…what happened?”

Kris looks at him helplessly. “You were hurt. But we…we took care of you. You’re going to be alright.”

Tao’s free hand finds his stomach, bandaged fingers pull at the sheets. “Why does it hurt?” he asks. “It feels so weird, it hurts, make it go away.”

Kris lowers his head and cries into Tao’s blanket. “I can’t make it stop. I’m so sorry.”

When Kris looks up again, Tao is sleeping.

A different nurse pats his shoulder. “He didn’t mean any harm,” she says. “He’s going to be glad that you saved him, you know what it’s like to come out of an operation like this, you remember what it felt like at first. Once he realizes what happened and what you did to save his life, he’ll forget all about the discomfort. And that’s all it is, it’s just discomfort. His body is telling him that it’s worse because of all the stress he just went through.”

Kris nods. “Yes, you’re right, I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened to me. How could I break down like that in front of him?”

The nurse shakes her head. “You need to sleep.”

“No, I can’t leave him!” Kris almost shouts.

“You can stay here, we can get you another bed.”

Kris refuses. “No, I have to be here for him, right here, I need to be able to touch him.”

“Then we’ll bring in another bed, and set it up right next to him.”

Kris doesn’t expect them to actually do it, but they do. There’s a plastic barrier to keep them from rolling on top of each other, but there’s room for Kris to reach through it and keep holding Tao’s hand while he sleeps. Once the nurses convince him to lie down, it takes mere seconds for him to fall asleep. It’s a testament to how exhausted he is that he doesn’t remember any of his dreams.

Kris wakes up 18 hours later, and Tao is still asleep. Kris gets up and wanders into the hallway, looking for a nurse. They find him first, and take him to get cleaned up and fed, and then Doctor Walai drops in to tell him about what’s been happening.

“Tao woke up while you were asleep, but only for about a minute. We put him back on a weak drip for a while to help him sleep, since he was still complaining about being in pain. We took him off of it just an hour ago, he should wake up again soon.”

“How is his pain level?” Kris asks.

“He’s not in serious pain, but his body is still adjusting.”

Kris nods. “And do you know when he can come home?”

Doctor Walai shakes her head. “We really don’t know, but he should stay here for three weeks, if not at least a month.”

Kris nods again. “And our friends, could they see him?”

Doctor Walai smiles. “Your father is already preparing for them to come. It won’t be for a few days yet, but it will happen, and you can tell him that when he wakes up.”

So at least Kris will have some good news. He thanks the doctor and goes back to Tao’s room to wait some more.

Tao wakes up within the hour, and he’s much more relaxed this time around—he even manages to smile.

“Hi there,” Kris greets softly, running a hand through Tao’s hair. “How do you feel?”

Tao grimaces. “My stomach hurts.”

Kris knows that he’s gone white as Tao’s sheets. “I know, baby. Is it bad?”

Tao curls his hands into the blankets. “I…yes? Maybe? I don’t know…Kris, where are we?”

Kris opens his mouth, closes it, and then finally asks, “We were on a mission, do you remember what happened?”

Tao closes his eyes. “I…I tried to stop time. Those things, those robots, they had guns…” he opens his eyes slowly. “Kris…did I get shot?”

Kris squeezes his hand. “Yes.” He can hear Tao’s heart rate increase. “It’s okay,” he soothes, “You’re going to be alright. I got you help in time.”

Tao looks at Kris with wide eyes. “Was it bad?”

Kris can’t look him in the eye. “Yes, it was.”

Tao gulps. “How…how bad? Am I paralyzed?”

“No!” Kris yelps, “No, no, no, you’re going to be okay.” He takes Tao’s face in his hands. “Baby, I promise you that you’re going to be fine. When you leave here, you can go back to living your life exactly the way it was. That’s why I brought you here, it’s the only reason I brought you here.”

Tao’s eyes widen. “We’re on your home planet, aren’t we?”

Kris nods. “Yes, we are. Do you remember coming here?”

Tao closes his eyes again. “I…I remember you asking if you could stay with me. I remember telling you that I love you…and I remember…that it hurt. It hurt a lot. And I knew you were worried.” He opens his eyes again. “Yifan…how bad was it?”

Kris kneels beside Tao’s bed. “There was a lot of internal damage,” he explains. He’s starting to shake, and he can hear his voice wavering. “I knew it right away, when I touched you…Kai got us home, and Yixing stopped the bleeding. When I got you here, the doctors said that some of your organs couldn’t be saved. I kind of…kind of knew that would be the case.”

Tao is quiet for a long time. Then he whispers, “My stomach. It…it was destroyed?”

“Y-yes,” Kris stammers. “And one of your intestines. Part of your spleen and left lung needed to be replaced, and your liver was damaged, but that will heal on its own. And…then there was muscular damage to repair.”

Tao clings to Kris’ hand and squeezes so hard that he’ll leave a bruise. “I almost died,” he says faintly. “Didn’t I? I almost died…”

“But you’re here, you’re alive,” Kris says, sitting on the edge of Tao’s bed and his cheek. “You’re going to be okay. They want to keep you here for a while, to make sure that everything is going to work out, but you can still be a martial artist and work for the Agency, if you want to. That’s why I brought you here. I just wanted to make sure that you would be okay.” He starts to cry, and he can’t seem to make himself stop. “They only fixed what was damaged. You still have…you’re still you. That hasn’t changed.”

Tao blinks up at him. “Yifan, why are you crying?”

Kris pressed his hand to his mouth to muffle a sob, and quickly pulls it away so he can speak. “I’m kind of waiting for you to start yelling. This whole time I’ve been trying to think of a way to tell you that I didn’t want them to change you, but it was the only way you would live. I know you said you weren’t ready for this and I wasn’t trying to disrespect your wishes, and I wish to all the gods in the universe that it hadn’t happened like this, when you weren’t prepared for it. I just didn’t want to lose you.”

Amazingly, Tao smiles at him. “Oh, Yifan. My love, I’m not mad at you.”

Kris wipes his eyes. “You might change your mind.”

“No,” Tao promises, “I’m alive. You saved me by bringing me here. I may not have been ready, but it’s okay. It would have happened sooner or later, and it saved my life. So it’s okay.” He pauses. “Will I be okay like this? These organs, they couldn’t have been designed for me, will there be problems?”

“There shouldn’t be,” Kris assures, “They’ve done transplants on humans before, and they’ve all turned out okay.”

Tao sighs in relief, and brings his free hand to his stomach. “Do I look like you, now?”

Kris nods. “You have a silver scar right in the middle of your stomach. It looks like lightning, or maybe a tree.”

Tao actually laughs. “Awesome, how bad- is that?” he giggles, and he tugs on Kris’ arm. “Yifan, I’m so glad I’m alive. I don’t care what had to be done to keep me alive, as long as I’m with you.”

Kris starts to cry again, this time out of relief. He carefully lies down next to Tao and kisses him gently. “I never want to lose you.”

Tao laces their fingers together, and his ring presses against Kris’. “You won’t.”

Nobody dies in this story, just like I said! Next chapter will be up some time over the weekend. Please comment!