Chapter 9

o way, something like that would have happened…”
“But I am telling you. I saw it with my very own eyes…—”
“The same eyes when you saw that alien in Tokyo, Junsu?” both Micky and Max laughed but Xiah didn’t seem to be just as amused.
“Hey!” he protested with arms crossed upon his chest. “You would be just as confused as I was if it was that dark…The guy was wearing freaking tentacles over his head!”
“Yeah, yeah..” Yoochun patted his friend’s back and chuckled when their attention was caught by a soft .
“Jae!” Max said in a cheerful tone and ran to the bed where their friend was laid upon. Immediately the other two followed him.
“Wha-… what’s going on?” the poor young man asked, dizzy as he was, trying really hard to sit up on the stiff mattress. Junsu stopped him by holding his one arm gently.
“Lay down… the doctors said that you must rest. You had a rough night.”
“Yeah…my back hurts…actually…my whole body hurts” Jae spoke faintly as he laid back and from his lips a soft sigh of pain was released.
Changmin sat on the chair close to the med bed, while Xiah made his self-comfortable next to Jaejoong and Micky simply stood still, troubled and staring at the window.
“You didn’t go through a little, hyung. ” Changmin said as he held in his hands the T.V‘s remote control. “Doctor said that you were very lucky to make it—”
“Oi! ” Yoochun’s voice forced both Max and Xiah to look at him. “Will you leave the man alone, already? He needs rest and not to be terrorized by words!” Changmin and Junsu glanced at each other. He was right. Jaejoong went through hell last night and it was a miracle that he got out of it with just a few scratches and some low degree burns. He was alive and that mattered the most.
“Yoochun…it’s alright…” Jae spoke with a soft chuckle and patted Max’s upper arm and turned to Xiah. “You are all here, thank you for that.”
“There was no way we wouldn’t be here, Jaejoong! After all—“
“Yoochun? What’s the matter?” Jae interrupted Xiah and in an instance everyone turned to their friend.  But no reply reached them. Micky simply waved his hand, grabbed his jacket and got out of the room.
“I’ll go and talk to him.” Junsu comforted the worried Jae and left the room, leaving his hyung with Changmin.
“Changmin?”
“Hm?”.
“You all came here, right?” Jae tried once again to sit on the bed and for just a moment he nearly made it, before whimpering a little.
“Hey, hey… lay back…” the youngster tried to push his hyung back but with no luck.
“I am fine, Changmin…” he chuckled and cleared his throat a little.
“Alright, as you say so. What did you want to ask? ”
“Where is Yunho?”

“Hey you…why did you storm out so suddenly?”
“HE is going to ask questions in a while…” Micky sat on one of the seats on the waiting room and covered his face with both hands. “What are we going to tell him? Huh?”
Junsu sighed loudly and shrugged as he took a seat next to his friend. “You know what? Of course he is going to ask…. We can’t… we can’t prevent that from happening, can we now? After all, he is his partner in life…” Xiah’s eyes fell on Micky who was lost in deep thought.
“Yeah…you are right—Hey!” he jumped up as Xiah’s fist landed on his shoulder really roughly.
“You knew it! All this long you knew that Jae and Yunho were in a relationship!” in no time, Micky covered his friend’s mouth with his palm and placed a finger over his own lips.
“Keep it down! It’s no need for the entire hospital to know that! Aish!”
“You should have told me! We always tell each other everything!” Junsu kept on complaining despite his friend’s warning. “I tell you everything and you simply ignore me!”
“Jun, it’s not like that...”
“No! I can’t believe it! Is that the trust you show me?”
“I promised to both of them not to tell a soul about it! How did you found out?”
“As if I tell you!” he shook his head and stood up ready to leave both the floor and the hospital.
“Hey, hey!” Micky jumped up and grabbed his shoulder. “What’s all this commotion about? I don’t understand…” one step in front of Xiah and his both hands held onto the other’s upper arms. “Talk to me…”
Junsu remained silent for a little while, before letting out a deep sigh and lowering his eyes. Truth was that he had kept a secret for far too long…almost eight years now. He was worried that if Micky knew then…what they had, this friendship of theirs would be destroyed once and for all…and he couldn’t lose Micky. He was his best friend…his…”You truly want to know?” he whispered and bit his bottom lip before cornering both of his lips.
“Of course. If I don’t know what’s going in there--” he knocked on Xiah’s temple teasingly with a low chuckle “then who’s gonna?”
Silence was the reply…silence and then a kiss… Not a passionate or one of an unfair game.. No… it was a slow one; just a soft brushing of lips; just a small taste of what it would be to kiss day and night that mouth and never get enough of it. Xiah’s cheeks were burning and his hands were trembling. Once he realized how great his mistake was, he pulled back and bowed in front of Yoochun. “Forgive me…” the words were struggling to leave his mouth and since Micky said nothing, the young man turned his back and walked away. He didn’t run… he was in no haste. He knew Micky… He knew that he wasn’t going to be chased after. After all, Junsu was not Micky’s Jae…

“So? Where is he?” Jae asked once more as he took a bite of his ramen that the nurse served him. It wasn’t much; the hospital food. Only some kimchi, some ramen and some rice. Of course the quality was not that great but at least the ramen and the side dice which was the rice, were edible. The kimchi, however, was disgusting.
“Well..” Changmin started talking but the doctor interrupted him as he entered the room. Jae’s eyes fell on the man with the white robe. He seemed very familiar; as if he had seen him before. He tried to remember, however, his head was hurting him a lot and he decided to give up. After all, it was just a doctor, right?
“Kim Jaejoong, 24 years old, third degree burns on left upper arm and deep cut wounds caused by glass as it was report to your back and waist.” He left the envelope on a small table and walked closer to the patient. At that moment, Changmin pressed his lips and released a deep sigh as he understood that he had to leave.
“I will see you later, Jae.” He punched playfully his hyung’s arm and left with a smile, closing the door behind him.
“Your friends were really worried about you.” The doctor commended and approached Jaejoong with a slight smile. Jae gave him a very careful look, observing his face; his characteristics.
 The man, not older than his mid-forties, had a small head, thin black eyebrows, yet keenly frowned. His eyes were small and dark as if they were hiding many and they were shouting even less to those who were staring straight to them. His cheekbones were extremely thin and at the lowest height of his bottom lip a thick line of beard at the same color as his long black, greasy hair. His body on the other hand, was nothing like the disgusting image of his face. He was a tall man and strong as well. He had huge back bones and shoulders while his muscles of his arms were pretty worked up, well from what he could tell since the white robe was blocking many details. Jaejoong felt a knob forming in this throat as the doctor touched his forehead. For a strange reason his heart was pounding as much as that night, when he was alone in that building, before the start of the fire…before the loss of his memory afterwards. His palms were huge and on the back side there were a few scars, close to the knuckles. He swallowed thickly.
“Is there something wrong?” the man asked as he checked the temperature.
“Huh? Uh…no no…Nothing.” Jae replied anxiously.
“You don’t have to be afraid of anything, Jaejoong-ssi.” He assured him with a low pat on his shoulder. “Your condition seems to be better than yesterday.”
“Yesterday?” Jaejoong raised an eyebrow and looked straight at the doctor.
“Yes, we were watching you all the while you were unconscious. You are in good hands.”
“U-unconscious? I- I don’t understand…” he seemed confused. How long had he been in that place? In that bed? In these four walls?
“It’s alright and only normal for you not to remember everything. After all the shock you went through was great.” He explained and checked the levels of the saline. “In a few hours the nurse will come to change it. For the time being allow your-self to rest.” The man smiled and left.
Jaejoong kept on gazing the door that the doctor had just closed.  He blinked a few times and then caressed his dry lips with the tip of his tongue. So, he was in a state of a coma for days… why didn’t they tell him about it? He inhaled deeply and turned to the side. Maybe they didn’t want to disturb him…And what about Yunho? Where was he? Was he as well as worried as everyone? Was he by his side all these days? Or had he ran away from everything? Where was he?

“So? Where are you?”
“I am on my way, Yoochun. How is Jae?”
“He is doing better. The doctor got out of his room a while ago. He is probably sleeping now.”
“Did he ask anything? You know…about me…”
“Well… he did but Changmin didn’t answer… he got interrupted by the doctor. Yun, when are you planning on coming back? He won’t stop asking…”
“When I find him…Till then you can’t tell Jae anything. I’m counting on you, Yoochun.”
“When do you want me to give it to him?”
Silence worsened Micky’s worries. “Yun? Are you alright?”
“Yeah...well…” he took a deep breath and wiped his tears off his eyes “…when the stars are visible. Find a way to take him up to the roof. He loves watching the stars when he is happy…Give it to him when you take him up there. Do you promise, Yoochun?”
“Yes. Yun wait!--” and the line went down. Micky shook his head and sat on the chair at the hospital’s lobby.
“What did he say?” Junsu suddenly appeared with a cup of hot coffee in one hand and another one on the other. “Here…for you.”
“Where…where you?! I was looking for you hours now!” Micky jumped up and frowned angrily.
“I took a walk around the park…you know, a little further from the hospital…in the middle of the av--”
“I don’t care!” Micky shouted.
“But you just asked--”
“I didn’t mean that! You didn’t answer my calls!”
“Oh…that…” Junsu lowered his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wanted to be on my own for a little while…and think…”
“If it’s all about that kiss…then…”
“Don’t you even mention it. I shouldn’t have done it. It was an honest mistake and I apologize.”
Micky was about to say something but he decided to hold it for himself. Apparently, Junsu had regretted it.
“So, about Jae, what did he say?”
“Is the sky clear?” Junsu tilted his head to the side at that question.
“I guess…It’s night time though…so why?”
“Yunho wants me to give Jae something, but only if I take him to the roof.”
“I will go and check on him….We will take him together, the three of us. No more secrets right?” he elbowed Micky and then chuckled, cute enough without intending to. Yoochun smiled brightly and nodded.
“I’ll send Changmin back to the apartment to bring a pair of clean and nice clothes for Jae.”
“What is Yun planning?” Junsu asked curious as he was.
“You will see…” he replied and walked away.
“HEY! WE SAID NO SECRETS! HEY! YOOCHUN!” Xiah yelled like a disappointed child and pouted, throwing the cups of coffee to the garbage and sighing as he made his way for Jae’s room.

“Why are we going up there?” Jae asked as he was accompanied by Junsu and Changmin while Yoochun was right ahead of them, showing them the way to the rooftop of the hospital.
“It’s something like a surprise,” Junsu replied with a worried smile that was casted to Max.
“Yeah…planned by Yunho.” The youngest one completed and returned the smile to Junsu with the same amount of worry.
“Yunho?!” Jae’s face lit up at the sound of his friends’ words. So, Yunho was there after all. He did care and loved him. He couldn’t feel much happier.
“Won’t it be locked, Yoochun?” Changmin asked and he received nothing in reply. Instead, the sound of a door opening widely was more than satisfying answer to him. Everyone stepped to the side, allowing Jae to be the first one to step outside; to feel the cool breeze once again on his face and glance at the dark horizon filled with the millions of stars that were all celebrating that night with a heavy sorrow as a burden. Jaejoong was standing in awe as he looked around and stepped even further to the outside world that he had missed so much. He closed his eyes and blocked everything away. He didn’t want anything to disturb that piece. One deep breath and exhale and he could feel the refreshment of both his heart and spirit. He forgot all about pain and agony. His body no longer hurt him and he could freely move his limbs as every injury was healed in an instance. And it was not just the sight, the view, the fresh air…but this was Yunho’s plan. Amongst the four of them, Yunho was the only one to know that Jae loved the starlit sky; he was the only one to know that a night like this one was part of his heaven, while the other part was Yunho’s presence. The young man smiled; after so many days of being in a deep sleep, he smiled and h
  meant every inch of it. He was happy…
 The three friends were standing right behind him in a straight line with their hands behind their back, happy but sad as well. Clearly Jae was waiting for Yun to appear from somewhere but that was not the case.
“Yunho?” a faint voice asked the air and the only answer that he got was the chilling wind that blew out of a sudden. “Yunho…” the voice repeated and the wind kept on blowing, pulling Jae’s jacket off his shoulders and revealing his dark blue shirt covered by a black satin vest. Suddenly it got cold and his heart was slowly realizing the truth. The one to make the first step to the front was Micky; holding a tiny red velvet box and a small envelope. However, Junsu’s grab paused his steps and he turned to look at him. “What?” he whispered.
“Are you sure about it?” Micky responded with a light nod and moved towards Jae who was still searching.
“Yoochun!” his face lit up with a hint of hope. “He might even listen to you…Come on,” he pushed him lightly “ go and tell him to come out..” he chuckled through his desperation. “Tell him to come. I have missed him so much.”
Micky remained silent and calm but at some point he stopped Jae from motioning him. Once he noticed that look, Jae realized that something was wrong.
“He is not coming, is he?” Jae lowered his head and then looked at the other two. “That’s why you never gave me a clear answer….” Changmin averted his eyes as he knew that these words were going straight to him. “That’s why you left the room when I woke up.” And this time the push was not that friendly and soft. But Micky didn’t stop him, neither he turned away. He just allowed his friend to even hit him.
“Answer me!” Jae yelled and then he shut his eyes. “That’s why you wanted to bring me up here?” he spoke with a few sobs escaping. “To tell me that he won’t return…that he left me…” he covered his eyes with his fists and gave in to his worst nightmare that now the singer was living.
“These will answer to your every question…” Micky softly spoke and tapped his shoulder. “He would never abandon you… he loves you” he whispered in his ear and went back to the other two after giving him the two items.
Jae looked at the box and then threw his glance at the envelope. He swallowed hard as he opened it and pulled out the letter that was inside it. He began reading it with tears streaming down his eyes.
 

“My beloved Jeajoongie,

I bet right now your beautiful face is filled with tears. Did you really believe that I would give up on you and our love? That I would abandon you like this? You fool… my fool… There are a few things that I need to settle down and that is why I cannot be there to see you and hold you in my arms. I cannot explain any further but know this; the only reason why I will keep on fighting is because I know that you will wait for my return.
 I love you, never forget that; never doubt it again.
 In the red box is the answer to your question; the reason why we had that fight that day; the reason why everything happened.. I hope you like it. I spent an entire evening with Micky searching for it. I drove him crazy but in the end… I found just the right one. I am wearing mine at the moment and I hope you will yours soon.

Don’t ever doubt me again...
I love you Jae.

Yours always,
Your Yunnie”

And with trembling hands he placed the letter in his jacket’s inner pocket and opened the small box. And that was when he broke… when his heart was crushed into tiny pieces and pierced every inch of his entire being. He covered his mouth with his palm and cried. He cried more than any other time and the tear drops fell on the silver round ring that was glimmering under the starlight and the moonlight. He held it between his fingers and mumbled a faint Yunho through his weeps and wore it while shaking.
Junsu tried to go to him as he watched his hyung falling on his knees but Micky stopped him and as he glanced at Xiah and Max he began humming a familiar melody. And then the words came out of the three mouths in a beautiful harmony…
 

Eodeowonjin pamhaneureul tteonajianneun byeolcheoreom
Sarangiran mideumeuro yeongwonhi hamggaehaneun ggeum
Keu sarang naega dwael su itdamyeon
Tashi hanbeon gudeobeorin keudae maeumeul
Yeongwonhan ddaseuhameuro kamssaaneulkeoya
 

“ Because Just like the star that doesn’t leave the dark sky
I know we’ll carry this dream forever together with love and trust
I want to be that person
Once again
I’d hug your hardened heart tightly in my arms forever

Will you marry me, Jae?”

He answered a broken yes as he crouched his body and cried even more, while the lines of the song that were explained in the letter echoed in the darkest night with no music; just the three voices wonderfully combined...just a band giving life to his heart and crushing it again.

For Jae, that was the most beautiful gift....