Title: 왜
Pairing: Jongin / Kyungsoo.
Rating: Mature (Currently PG-13)
Length: ??
A/U: Finally finished another chapter XD. Now I have no idea where I am going with this story but I hope I am getting there. Comment and let me know what you think ^^

Chapter 5;

It was quiet.'

The white walls was painted with a beautiful sunlight pattern casted as the light rays cut through the  blinds.  There was no breeze as the warm air simply drifted within the bedroom. An eerie lck of absence made it more uncomfortable than it should of. 

Jongin lay there on his back. . His skin still clammy from the mixture of fluid made only a few hours ago. To lazy to move, he simply wiped the sleep from his eyes before looking at the celling. Despite his apparent peaceful appearance, Jongin was everything but.  Running a hand through his hair he let out a soft sigh and shifted a slightly to get more comfortable. That movement however disrupted Kyungsoo who lay aside him. Jongin tensed as Kyungsoo turned to his side facing away from Jongin, a light groan escaping his lips as he carried on sleep.

Propping himself up on his elbows he glanced at Kyungsoo. Tears prickling his eyes.

So beautiful...

~~~

Wednesday 20th June 2012

I don't know what's going on anymore. Whenever I feel that this should end, he manages to pull me back in again.

~~~

Oh my god...

 Chanyeol was stationary as he sat alone on the bench watching the scene before him. Wide-eyed and mouth slightly open he was glued on them, his eyes turning a tinge red out of embarrassment. The ice cream in his hand only just forgotten.

Kyungsoo's uncharacteristically cute giggle echoed in the train station, earning looks from strangest surrounding them. Kyungsoo didn't appear to play any attention though as he was too busy putting small kisses around Jongin's neck. Who, had a faint smile on his lips as he wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo endearingly. Kyungsoo then starting to do small nibbles on the soft skin causing Jongin to chuckle lightly, squeezing Kyungsoo tighter.

Oh my god!

Chanyeol was still unmoveable as he witnessed the scene, unsure on how to react. However, once he felt the cold drop of ice cream which melted it's way to his hand, Chanyeol diverted his attention and began his ice cream. Rolling his eyes as another giggle left  Kyungsoo's mouth.

Now deciding he was irritated by their behaviour, Chanyeol watched on with a pout on his lips. After a few minutes of watching them, he sighed leaning forward while still trying to keep his ice cream in tact.

"You know...I'm here too"

"Guys will you get off each other for a few seconds at least"

"I don't even know why I was invited if I'm going to be overlooked like this"

Chanyeol's words went unheard as Jongin and Kyungsoo remained in there embrace causing Chanyeol to give up and sit back again. Now slightly annoyed he continued to his ice cream.

Since when did they get like this?!

Chanyeol cut a quick look at the pair before looking away again.

Did I die and come back or something?

Thinking to much, his ice cream melted further, a new drop placing it's self on Chanyeol's hand. Taking note he silently cursed to himself as he carried on watching the pair.

If they think I won't get on the train without them then...

Chanyeol's thoughts was interrupted as Kyungsoo began kissing Jongin full on the lips.

OH MY GOD!!

~~~

"They are seriously all over each other now. I mean I knew they had a thing, I guess we all knew. But now they are just...." Chanyeol struggled to find a good enough word so just settled for mashing his hands together.

Sehun laughed as he watched Chanyeol, nodding in agreement. They was both skypeing eachother as Kyungsoo was in Jongin's room so Sehun needed a distraction.

"I know. It's strange since last month I barley saw them together"

Chanyeol hummed acknowledging Sehun's words before looking at his laptop camera.

"Talking about never seeing them" He said changing the subject, "I haven't heard from you in ages"

Sehun let out a nerious laugh as he scratched the back of his head, Chanyeol picked up on his actions and squinted his eyes.

"What is it?"

"Nothing"

"Don't lie" 

"I swear, it's nothing. I've only be hanging out with this frie-"

"Oh my god Sehun not you too!"

Sehun's eyes widened at Chanyeol's reaction, shaking his head frantically.

"No! Chanyeol he is just a friend"

"Suurrree"

Sehun groaned as he watched Chanyeol complain about being the only single one from now on and how he refused to look after Kyungsoo, Jongin or Sehun's children.

~~~

Legs intertwined, Jongin and Kyungsoo lay on Jongins bed. Both on their back, with Kyungsoo's face buried in Jongin's neck. Jongin took the time caressing Kyungsoo's hands. Paying attention to the detail, not surpised in the slightest that the others hands was noticeably small and almost fragile if not for the slightly roughened skin. His fingers was longer though, only by a little but the slender fingers clashed against his own more chiseled and masculine ones.

"What are you thinking about?"

Kyungsoo's face now not buried in Jongin's neck, his large orbs was piercing at Jongin, eyes showing a him of amusement as the other males dazed face. After a second, Jongin smiled fondly and pulled Kyungsoo's hand to his lips

"You hands"

The slightly older man let out a laugh, pulling his hand out of Jongin's hold and instead caressing his face softly, rubbing his thumb over the beginning spots of stubble that was showing in Jongin's chin. He looked at Jongin for a while, studying his face hard, eyebrows pressed a little. Jongin saw this and gave Kyungsoo a small smile, as if questioning what he was thinking now.

"Are you happy?"

Kyungsoo's question caught Jongin by surprised and his face contorted in confused amusement. Stunned at how uneasy the question made him he took a second to think before replying.

"Why?"

"Why what"

"Why did you ask me?"

Kyungsoo's face dropped and Jongin regretted the response instantly as Kyungsoo removed his hand and put distance between their bodies. Sighing Kyungsoo rubbed his face before glancing at Jongin with a frown.

"That was not at all what I'd thought you'd say"

"You wanted me to say yes?"

Kyungsoo's eyes widened.

"Is it no?"

"No, of course it isn't." Kyungsoo relaxed, "but why did you ask?"

"Does it matter?"

Jongin thought for a moment.

"Yes"

Sighing loudly, Kyungsoo moved himself so he was sitting up straight against the bed.

"Because sometimes I feel like your not"

"Why?"

"There are times where you look at me and you look so...so sad and I think it's because of me"

"Kyungsoo...of course it's not cause of you"

At that, Kyungsoo's eyes darted to Jongin's.

"So you are unhappy"

"No, I never said that."

"Jongin-"

"I'm fine"

"In what sense"

"In the 'I don't here voices anymore sense', in the 'I love you sense', in the 'birds are singing and the sun is always shining when I'm with you sense'"

Kyungsoo let in a gasp as he looked at Jongin, the room gone silent as they both took in what was just said. Jongin stood his ground and looked back at Kyungsoo with hard eyes.

"I do you know, love you"

"In what sense?"

Jongin's next sentence died in his throat as he heard Kyugnsoo's word and he froze, at loss of what to say

~~~~

Wednesday 29th February 2012

There is something wrong with me.

~~~~

"How exactly do you feel now?"

"I'm not drowning any more"

Jongin's eyes remained fixed on the wall behind the doctor. For once ignoring the notebook and pen, ignoring the books on the shelf, ignoring the fact he's not alone in the room.

"But I'm not above water if that makes sense"

"Care to explain?"

"I feel save. Like I have a change to get to dry land but I'm being stopped. I thought I understood why but now...I'm always feeling at threat of being in again. And Kyungsoo...I know he helps me and I love him...I do. But I always feel like he is going to change again."

"Change?"

"Sometimes he acts different. And I don't know if it's his illness or not be he's not the same. And I try and help him and he's fine. But it makes me question."

"What do you question?"

"If I love him. He asked me in what way the other day and I froze. And I don't know why because we've already-"

Jongin took a few breath's.

"Sometimes I just look at him and feel so scared. As if I will be sick. It's like he is the voices in my head sometimes...but he's real and I love him and..."

Jongin stopped speaking and took a few moments to breathe. Finally paying attention to the look in the doctors eyes and the dampness of his cheeks.

~~~~

 

The park was busy. With the sun so clear in the sky and clouds randomly dotted around, the park was full of noise. Children running around with, eagerly playing with the various activities available. The line for the swing forever long while kids got sick on the roundabout. Bringing a strange sort of contentness. Parents sat on the benches or on the grass, lost in conversation as they subtly watched there young. Jongin and Seungsoo, although neither parent or child, sat on one of the benches. Not looking at the families but at the small pond, home to a few dunks who swam quietly around. 

Even thought they have never been close, Jongin his distance. Arms crossed and legs facing slightly away from the older man. Seungsoo however sat calm as he faced the pond, no signs on resentment shown. However, occasionally he would glance at Jongin's position in distaste.

"Behaving like this to an elder is disrespectful you know"

The comment almost made Jongin roll his eyes but instead he settled for a deep sigh as he shifted so he was facing the older man more. His arms still crossed.

"This is unnessassary  Jongin"

Jongin crossed his arms tighter as his eyes dotted around, desperately trying to ignore Seungsoo's presence.

"Why did you come when your not going to say anything"

"I came to say this needs to stop"

Jongin's reply took Seungsoo by surprised, though his shock was clearly masked. He looked at Jongin through thin eyes as he contemplated what to say.

"Why?"

"Because you confuse me. Mess with my head. Tell me things and expect me to take your every word. Every time I see you I leave..."

"Don't do this"

"Don't do what"

"Make me the enemy"

Jongin said nothing.

"Making me the enemy won't change anything. You will feel the same. Your issues with him goes deeper than my words"

"I love him."

"So what"

The was a moment of silence as they both sat there. Jongin's arms now uncrossed but fists planted firmly on his lap.

"You loving him doesn't matter, not to him. He doesn't love you. Not really. Maybe he doesn't want to be alone. Or maybe you make him forget about his life. But he doesn't love you."

"And how can you be so sure of that?"

"Because you don't destroy the people you love"

Jongin didn't reply.

~~~~

A dim light filled the room. Heavy pants was all that was heard as Jongin and Kyungsoo sat on the bed kissing. Both shirtless. In a daze, Jongin's hand wondered around Kyungsoo's body until he reached his hips, hands about to slip into his trousers. Feeling something his blood run cold has he noticed what his hand was on, rubbing the scar on his side gently as their kiss got less heated. Kyungsoo noticed and pulled away slightly to look at what Jongin was touching before sighing.

"You and me are the same" 

Was all Kyungsoo said before leaning into the kiss again, rubbing his hands across Jognins torso feeling the masses of scars healed upon each other marking his skin.

~~~~

The whole house was dark. Even with the lamp on in the corridor outside the bedroom. Jongin felt that the house was dark. Frowning as he leaned against the door to Kyungsoo bedroom. Heart beating rapidly and dried tear stains on his cheeks which was matched with reddened eyes. He sat hopelessly as he listened through the door to the screams and the crys, blazing within the house. Flinching at the various bangs he would hear as Kyungsoo thought furniture and other objects around the room in a frenzy. 

Feeling at a loss, he simply looked down and tightened his grip on the torn white envoploe him his hand.

~~~~

Friday 16 March 2012

I know the poison, I almost fell for it too but it needs to stop.

~~~~

Seungsoo walked up to his door, rubbing his eyes as he just woke from a nap. Opening it, he froze at the person staring back at him. After a moment, he relaxed but his eyes squinted as he took in the sight before him trying to figure out what was going on. A few seconds pasted before he simply stepped out the way of the door.

"Come in Jongin"