Title: 왜
Pairing: Jongin / Kyungsoo.
Rating: Mature (Currently PG-13)
Length: ??

Chapter 3;

 

Silence filled the room.

The wardrobe was opened and emptied. Kyungsoo's clothes was carelessly packed in the suitcase on the floor. The window was firmly shut to fend of the cold air and the two young men simply stared at eachother from opposite ends of the bed. Kyungsoo was crossed legged, his back against the wall are he studied Jongin's face, who was in a similar place on the floor. Jongin's eyes was focused on a spot on the wall as he took in the atmosphere.

Eventually, Kyungsoo shifted closer to Jongin's side, his wide eyes on Jongin's face.

'I thought you forgot about me'

Jongin's eyes flicked to Kyungsoo's and he shifted closer to Kyungsoo side of the bed.

'How can I forget you'

'You never visited'

'Sorry about that'

'Well your here now'

Jongin gave Kyungsoo a warm smile.

'You been feeding any pigeons these days'

'With the weather how it is I ain't feeding '

Jongin laughed as he moved closer to Kyungsoo, leaning his cheek against his knee.

'I missed you'

A shy smile crept on Kyungsoo's face as he moved to sit next to Jongin. Knees touching they resumed their comfortable silence. Enjoying each others company.

~

'You can call me Seungsoo you know'

'Why'

'You have become a close friend of my brothers'

Jongin shot a glare at the other mans face. Rubbing his gloved hands together at the cold, Jongin shifted slightly making sure he was further from the other man.

'I don't know why you are talking to me, Kyungsoo told me you're dead'

The older man had a bitter smile on his face as he exhaled, observing his breath disappear in the air.

'Kyungsoo never told you did he?'

Jongin eyed the other man, his eyebrows pressed together in confusion. Seungsoo turned towards Jongin slightly, placing a hand on the back of the bench. Upon seeing Jongin's expression, Seungsoo let out a breathless laugh before looking at the leafless trees dotted around the park.

'My brother was always ing mad'

~

Thursday 15th December 2011

Kyungsoo I like a book with all the important pages ripped out. His brother is something ing something else.

~

'Do you want to know why he is like this?'

'No'

Seungsoo chuckled at Jongin's answer before taking a sip at his coffee. Jongin at opposite him playing with his thumbs in boredom.

'I got shot'

Jongin stopped looking at his thumbs and stared at Seungsoo in shock. Seungsoo took another sip at his drink and looked at Jongin before speaking again.

'He was around 8. Walking him home from school, we took a short cut. His idea. Then we saw some guy, bumped into me and picked a fight. I don't fight but I saw the way he looked at Kyungsoo. Like a fool I fought him and I got shot.'

Jongin didn't speak.

'The ringing in my ears mixed with the pain in my chest left me dizzy and I black out very soon after. But I saw the look on Kyungsoo's face. When I woke up in hospital and I saw him, I knew something happened.'

Seungsoo paused and took another sip of his coffee.

'He changed after that. Hated me. I could tell, the fear ate at him. I couldn't protect him and he felt scared. That was when he stopped going out. I tried talking to him but then he stopped looking at me.'

'What are you trying to tell me'

'What I am saying is that he I am dead because in his mind I should have died. He is terrified of death because of me. I couldn't help him, safe him. If I could die so could he so he thinks he is alone. But with you in his life he doesn't feel so alone but that can't happen'

'Why?'

'Because he going to depend on you like he did with me and even though you may not get shot. You are as sick like him.'

'I got better'

'You got to leave him alone and not see him anymore.'

Jongins jaw tightened as he looked out the window. Seungsoo taking another sip of his coffee as the atmosphere got colder.

~

Heavy footsteps were heard as Sehun jumped up the stairs. Banging the door open, he walked into Jongin's room. Standing in front of his friend as Jongin shifted uncomfortably with a boom in his hand. Sehuns eyes shifted around Jongin's body and squinted a little as he took a seat on the chair not saying anything. Jongin put his book aside as he sat up straighter, a look of annoyance and worry fanning his face as he waited for some explanation.

'What happened?'

'I'm sorry?'

Sehun sighed loudly as he rolled the chair closer to Jongin.

'Two months. You have gone and visited your boyfriend for two months since you got out. One day you go for a walk and suddenly you don't go and see him'

Jongin's eyebrows scrunched up as he wiped his thumb against his bottom lip.

'How do you know I haven't seen him? And why does that even matter?'

'How do I know? You have ing OCD, you do things like clock work.'

Jongin's eyes shifted uncomfortably as he moved away from Sehun.

'Wednesday. That is the day you go. Like clockwork. You don't do it no more. And it matters because you are getting weird since then.'

'What do you mean? I still don't get how it matters.'

'I'm worried'

Jongin rolled his eyes and was about to reach for his book when Sehun grabbed his hand. Looking at each other intensely Jongin noted the concern in his friends eyes and relaxed slightly, looking almost guilty.

'You check more, you are sad now and I am worried. This guy seemed to make you happy but now you are just back to before you left. Did something happen?'

'Kyungsoo didn't do anything'

'Then see him again'

Jongin pulled his hand away and rubbed his face. Laying back on the bed. There was a moment of silence as Sehun watched Jongin waiting for some sort of reply.

'Okay'

With an audible sigh of relief, Sehun stood up and made his way to the door.

'And Sehun'

'Yeah'

'He is not my boyfriend'

~

Hugging tighter than ever, Kyungsoo closed his eyes and pressed into Jongin's chest inhaling his scent. Legs woven together, Jongin wrapped an arm firm against Kyungsoo's waist. Jongin could feel the water marks on his jumper only making him pull Kyungsoo closer to him. The pang in his chest making it hard to breathe.

'What the have you done to me'

Kyungsoo mumbled as he gripped the clothing on his back till his knuckles went white and numb. A soft sob was heard as Kyungsoo shook his head a little as he buried his face even deeper in Jongin.

'Look at me. What have you done'

Jongin didn't say anything. His eyes watering as he took deep breaths. Putting his lips close to Kyungsoo ears he whispered a stream of apologies.

'Shut up. Just don't talk and come see me again.'

Jongin nodded even though he knew Kyungsoo couldn't see and closed his eyes as he relaxed. Taking in Kyungsoo's smell.

~

Wednesday 4th January 2012

I can never stay away. His brother says I should but I can't. I don't have to. Seungsoo talks bull anyway.

~

You love him

Jongin's hands cover his face as tears escaped his eyes uncontrollably. His body shaking as he lay on his bed alone.

You ing love him

~

Jongin was in Sehun's room. Both just enjoying each others company and talking.

'Glad to see you dosage of Kyungsoo is working'

Jongin laughed as he threw a pillow at his friend.

'Yeah well he is getting better. They might let him out soon'

'Great I can finally be introduced to your wife'

Jongin laughed as he kicked Sehun in the leg. Sehun rolled of the bed and groaned slightly as he got back up and sat on the bed again smiling.

'Okay well you're annoying, but I am serious. I can meet him if he gets out'

'Why don't you just come with me on my visits'

'And crash your dates? I am fine'

'Are you a girl? They are not dates and I am going to see him for his birthday, just come with me'

'I rather not. Anyways, with you all focused on his birthday, what about yours?'

Jongin thought for a moment, that fact not crossing his mind.

'I don't know if I want to do something.'

'You are doing something'

'Sehun it's fine'

Sehun sighed and sat up looking over at his friend.

'It's not. I feel like I have my best friend back so we are doing something for your birthday'

Jongin smiled softly and sat up as well.

'Thanks'

Sehun kicked Jongin off the bed laughing as he landed.

'That doesn't mean I let you get away with anything'

~

'Kyungsoo is better I hear'

'Yeah'

'So you are seeing him again'

Seungsoo looked at Jongin from across the small table. One hand holding a spoon as he mixed his coffee, a hard cold expression was plastered on his face. Jongin stared out the window, shoulder sagged as he tried to focus on the passing cars.

'Maybe I am seeing him again.'

'I told you not to. I told you to leave him alone.'

Jongin let out a weak laugh as he looked at Seungsoo.

'Why? He hates you. He throws up when he sees that little white envelope of yours. Why do you care if I see him. He is better, wouldn't that make you happy. Maybe he will see you again after he gets better'

Seungsoo's eyes squinted as he put the spoon down and leaned forward slightly.

'Your are just as sick as him aren't you. Get better? You think that a few hugs with you and feeding ing birds will make him better. There is no better, not with Kyungsoo. He is ill. He will improve but after a while the cracks will show and he will always be at square one again. He is always at square one. When he leaves he will you in and you will think you are happy but eventually he will break you. That is what he does. Breaks you and breaks himself then he goes back to the hospital and does it again. He needs to stay there.'

A tense silence took over. Seungsoo leaning back against his chair. Jongin's eyes getting glossy. Taking in Seungsoo's words he took deeps breathes. His hands shaking violently as he shoved them in his pockets. When Jongin calmed his emotions he gave Seungsoo a glance before speaking in a level voice.

'It's his birthday soon, I think I might see him'

'He will break you'

'Hopefully he will be let out after then and we could celebrate. He told me the doctors are very impressed with his progress'

'He tried to kill me you know'

Jongin stopped speaking. His hands shaking again as he gave Seungsoo a hard stare, disbelief clear in his face.

'That is why he was put in there. A knife. That was what he tried to kill me with'

Jognin let in a choked breath as he looked back out the window. Tears pooling at the corners of his eyes though he refused to allow them to fall. After a while Jongin closed his eyes in a breath before he stood up.

'It's he birthday soon. I will see him.'

~

Sunday 8th January 2012

I don't know anymore. Everything is a mess. I don't know what we are. I don't know what his brother is trying to do. The voices in my head has changed. I can't breathe around him, it's suffocating. Like I am drowning without water.

~

Jongin took slow steps to Kyungsoo's room. His breathing became shallow and his hands getting sweaty.

A knife...

Jongin took a breath.

He used a knife...

Jongin took another breath

To kill someone. He wanted to kill someone with that knife.

Jongin walked even slower.

You could try that...

Jongin stopped walking. Breathing heavily as he tried to gather his thoughts. His hands shaking violently as his eyes darted around, ignoring the looks and stares.

'Jongin?'

At the sound of his name as well as the voice the voices in his mind stopped as he stared at Kyungsoo standing opposite him. Jongin just looked at Kyungsoo wide-eyed in fear, refusing to say anything. Kyungsoo smiled nervously at Jongin's strange behaviour and took a step forward and gently touched Jongin's arm. At that Jongin focused again and looked at Kyungsoo, a smile tracing his face.

'Hey Kyungsoo'

Jongin stopped walking. Breathing heavily as he tried to gather his thoughts. His hands shaking violently as his eyes darted around, ignoring the looks and stares.

'Jongin?'

At the sound of his name as well as the voice the voices in his mind stopped as he stared at Kyungsoo standing opposite him. Jongin just looked at Kyungsoo wide-eyed in fear, refusing to say anything. Kyungsoo smiled nervously at Jongin's strange behaviour and took a step forward and gently touched Jongin's arm. At that Jongin focused again and looked at Kyungsoo, a smile tracing his face.

'Hey Kyungsoo'