021

It's months later when I find the letter.

I'm fiddling with Ken's music player still plugged into the stereo system, scrolling past Arabesque and other pieces when I stumble across a peculiar playlist.

Mari.

It's a track with my name. My pulse skyrockets as I continue to scroll and see Rebecca, Hyuk, Ravi, Leo. There's an individual track addressed to everyone. I jam a pair of earbuds in with shaky hands and take a seat on the couch. 

"Hey, sweetheart."

Ken's voice crackles in my ears as a hand instinctively flies to cover my mouth, muffling a cry.

"Don't give this music player to anyone once you're done listening to this, okay? I gave N digital copies and I don't want Ravi getting his hands on this. Knowing him, he'd probably accidentally delete everything while trying to make another workout playlist or something."

I laugh breathlessly and curl my knees to my chest with closed eyes, just focusing on the sound of his voice. I've missed him.

"Speaking of Ravi, I've been talking with him in the meantime. It's helped a lot. I know I poke fun at him all the time but he really has a way with words. It makes me feel...less about this whole thing."

"In high school, I remember telling him that I didn't want to drift through life, you know? I don't want to die just to have existed, because anyone can do that."

"He used to use that as an excuse to cut loose and it really got us into some deep sometimes. The last day of school before he dropped out, we were both scheduled to take this important exam. He broke into the chemistry lab and whipped up these bottle rockets that reeked...so...bad. I told him we were going to get kicked out of school but he just told me to shut up since he was leaving tomorrow anyway."

He laughs and in my mind's eye I can picture his nose crinkling the same way whenever I tried to say something funny.

"That's one of my favorite memories. I think that was the moment I realized we were going to be in each other's lives for a long time. You'll meet people like that too, Mari, and I think you already have. The way you and Rebecca interact remind me of myself and Ravi. Cherish her, keep her close. One day you'll wake up and wonder where the hell all the time has gone and your times with Rebecca will be like what mine with Ravi are now. Just memories."

Ken pauses with a sigh, and when he speaks again it's a slow, quiet tone.

"More importantly, you're one of those people too. I'm sure you've realized by now that when Eos asked me about the city, I was really talking about you. You've given me the second chance I've needed all this time. When I'm with you, I can think, it's like my head clears."

"Remember when you were so impressed that I was able to point out Altair up in the observatory? I actually studied my off the night before. I stole Rebecca's textbooks and forced her to help me. But I read enough to say this; you and I are like those stars, Altair and Vega. Even if we're apart, you can always look up at that night sky. It's been the exact same for thousands of years. Your dad saw those same stars every night, same with Cleopatra and Alexander the Great. And that sky hasn't changed since when we were up there either, nor will it ever."

"Maybe this is it, maybe this is what I'm supposed to do. Maybe I wasn't meant to be some fancy engineer in the Augment field, I hope Ravi isn't too mad at me for throwing away my education."

He lets out a quiet laugh and I can tell by the way he's having trouble breathing that he's close to tears.

"I feel like I'm going to die of a broken heart than whatever they're going to inject me with. I wish we had more time, there's so many things I wanted to do, places I wanted to take you to see. Like the sun rise. Knowing how much you love to sleep, I know you've never seen one. I'm not just talking about your typical morning sun rise either, but the kind where you wake up a good hour ahead of time, while it's still dark out and you can see the stars. It's so quiet and you feel like you're the only one alive on the entire planet. That hour melts the sky from black to the most beautiful shades of orange and red and...god, it's just amazing."

"Take care of Eos. Also, make sure he doesn't follow through with that backflip he was talking about. You may think I'm kidding but that kid will literally try it, I swear."

He chuckles and in the background I hear Ravi asking which tie matches his eyes for the banquet, to which Leo snorts and murmurs about how they're electric blue.

"I love you,"

The track ends and I immediately rush to grab a sweatshirt. Dawn will break soon and I know exactly where Eos and I are going to be.

Wow. I can't believe I finally finished writing this. I'm like so sad and happy at the same time. I started planning this after the Error MV came out and here I am almost a year later with a VIXX comeback next month like ;v;