I may be the maknae but that doesn't mean they can forget about me. That doesn't mean that I don't get hurt. I do. Afterall I'm just a normal human. I don't since when I start having all these bad and negatively dark thoughts. Well, all they have ever done was simply scold me and all the bad things you could think of. I really wonder of those affection on shows was even real or not. I wonder if I should even be here in the first place. What if I didn't even come for the audition? Would all this be different? 

Nobody's home right now and my mind have made its' decision. I wanted to leave. Why should I continue living if there's only hatred left for me? Why should I continue living if there's no love left for me? I'm still a normal human who needs love and affection, even the slightest bit of it would be enough but well nobody seems to care. I've no idea since when I stop smiling sincerely. I've no idea how nobody realises that I'm slowly dying. It hurts knowing the fact that nobody cares and they pretend they do but they don't actually give a about it. 

I played my favourite song on a speaker so that it doesn't feel like I'm dying alone. I took the rope and tie it to the fan. 'Nice' it's what I thought. The idea of me hanging lifelessly from that rope excite me even more. But before I continue, I would like to talk to my mom. At least I could hear her voice for the last time. I dialled her number and wait for her to answer. After two rings, the line connected. 

"Yeoboseyo?" 

"Eomma.." 

"Hyun-ah.. Why are you calling me at this hour?"

"Nothing eomma.. I just miss you so much and I want to hear your voice.."

"Hyun-ah, eomma miss you too.. When are you coming back to see eomma and appa?"

"Ah that, I don't know eomma.. I'll try to ask sajangnim if I can take a day off to see you.. I miss you so much eomma.. Eomma mianhae."

"Nevermind Hyun-ah.. It's not your fault. You have schedule to follow so nevermind. If you're coming back then tell eomma so that eomma can cook your favourite food." 

"Alright eomma.. Eomma I need to go.. I'll call you back if I can.. Bye eomma."

"Alright hyun-ah.. Don't forget to eat.. Don't overwork yourself.. Bye.." the line was then cut.  'I'm sorry eomma for lying to you.. If I have the next life and if I could see you again then I would go back to your arms eomma..' 

I took a chair and stand on it. The song has been put on replay so it wouldn't stop. I put my neck in the loop and then I pushed the chair I was standing on and with that, my life ends and I'm off to the other world. 

Jiyong's POV

"Aa