~~~

"Tao. Tao.. ..Tao." I was sleeping. Kris gege woke me up. He's chanting my name like a mantra.

"Gege~?" I open my eyes and glanced at the clock that was hanging on the wall. 1am. Why is he waking me up so early?

"Tao. ..I need you. ..I want you." he whispered. He sounds so needy, he's grunting.

"did you have a nightmare gege?" I asked him as I pull him down for a hug. I always give him one when he has nightmares. My poor dragon. "It's okay. I'm here. I won't leave you."

"No. ..you don't understand.. ." he said.

I didn't say anything, instead I frowned. He push himself up and looked at me. His gazes. It burned me, it's scary. I've never seen him like that before and I don't know what to do. It's like I'm paralyzed, even if I want to move my body, I can't. Kris gege suddenly his lips then he kissed me. No. He ravished my lips. It's so brutal and I can feel his lust, his needs as a man. I feel his body heating up, it's burning just like his gazes. I trashed around. I don't know that person. I don't know the Kris who was trying to take off my clothes. I don't know him.

I did my best to refuse. No matter how much I love him back then, I've never once thought of doing something like that with him. I was scared to death. I trashed around as he push himself deep inside me repeatedly. I cried. A lot. I screamed but who would hear me right? Beside me and him, there's no one else on that mansion. Kyungsoo and Lu-ge is in the separate house which is too far from us.

Kris gege~, he keeps on saying "sorry", "I love you" and "I need you" to me but he won't stop even if I beg. He just keep on ing like no tomorrow, I feel something sticky down there and it hurts SO MUCH. I know I'm bleeding. I feel so sad for Kris gege~. His loneliness is eating him, I can tell through his eyes. He's lonely. So sad.

I stopped refusing and let him take me after I saw his eyes. I let him find comfort in me. I want to help him so bad that I gave him what he wants. My tears won't stop falling. I'm not in pain anymore, it's numb, I'm numb. I'm crying because I feel so sad for my dear dragon. Before I lost consciousness, I feel something hot filling my insides. I also feel his lips on mine and I heard him sobbing and saying sorry.

I woke up the next day when I heard a scream. I opened my eyes in panic, I want to move but I can't. My whole body is in pain and my sheets are bloody red. Kris gege just woke up too and beside me. I remembered what he did to me last night. I looked where the scream came from. I saw Lu-ge standing on the door, one hand on his mouth and one on his stomach. He looks like he's about to throw up but he swallowed it back and looked at me pitifully then at Kris gege with anger.

"WU YIFAN!!!!!" he shouted at Kris gege. "WHAT DID YOU ING DO TO ZITAO!!!!"

Kris gege looks at me with horror. Seems like he just realized what he did to me. His tears suddenly falls as his eyes search my body, the sheets under me. LuHan ge pulled his arms and throws him to the floor. I heard a loud thud, it sounds so painful. I want to stand up and help my gege but I really can't move. My body won't listen to me.

"I. .." Kris gege said, still crying.

"YOU ING YOUR OWN ING BROTHER!!!!" Lu-ge shouted at him. Kris gege's cries gets louder and louder. The sound is killing me.

"No.. ." I said in a hoarse voice. ". ..he. ..he didn't. .. me. ..I want this. .." Lu-ge is not convinced. Who am I fooling right. He knows me too well too. ".. .please. Tell no one." I beg to him.

"ARE YOU ING INSANE!!!?" he charged to Kris gege when he didn't receive any answer from me. He gave him a punch or two. Then he looked at me and sighs. "GET OUT! TELL KYUNGSOO TO GET ME WARM WATER AND TOWELS. ALSO, SOME PAINKILLERS AND OINTMENTS!!! TELL HIM TO LEAVE IT AT THE DOOR!!!" Kris gege is still crying. "GET OUT NOW BEFORE I ING KILL YOU RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!"

Kris gege looked at me. I nod to him. I don't know why I did that but, it worked. He slowly stood up, glanced at me one more time then he get out of the room. Lu-ge walked to me and helped me to sit up. I winced in pain. When I settle myself, Lu-ge slapped me.

"THIS IS TOO MUCH!" he said angrily.

"I know.. ..but. ..it's okay."

"HOW IS IT OKAY!??" Lu-ge asked. His tears suddenly falls then he hugged me. "HE ING YOU ZITAO!!!" he's crying. Just like Kris gege. My tears falls too as I hug him back.

"He.. ..he's lonely.. ...and.. .I want to. ..help him.. ." I said sobbing.

"You're such an idiot!!!" he smacks my head. He didn't let me go until we heard a knock.

"LuHan ge~ I brought what you asked for. What's happening? Is Tao okay? Can I enter?" Kyungsoo sounds so worried.

"NO! DON'T ENTER! leave it there and cook breakfast for Tao. He's fine." I squeezed Lu-ge's hand as a thank you. Of all the people, Kyungsoo is the one who definitely I don't want to know. It would kill him to know what happened. He's still in love to Kris gege after all.

"Are you sure? Is Tao sick?"

"his whole body is in pain. It's okay. Just go to the kitchen."

"O. ..okay." Kyungsoo said a little hesitant.

Luhan never once talked to Kris gege ever again since then. Whenever he's seeing him, it's either he'll avoid him or look at him with anger and disgust on his eyes. I told him it's okay and he shouldn't worry anymore. I said I'm ready to get taken again if Kris gege really wants it. I told him I'm ready to give Kris gege my all this time.

Lu-ge thinks I'm insane and he talked to me for a long time about it. He gave up when I said I love Kris gege so much to the point that offering my body to make him happy would be fine. Kris gege begs for forgiveness to me back then. He even kneels and kissed my foot. I stopped him and tell him it's okay. I lift his face up and kissed his lips. I was prepared but since then, Kris gege never once touched me again. Whenever he's obviously , he would lock himself up on his room.

~~~

"What are you doing here er?" Tao asks when his door opened and Jongin enters.

"The fact that you're glaring at me and you called me er means you're still strong." Jongin smirked. "I'm here to see you."

"What? Want to laugh that I'm dying?"

"No. Of course not."

"Come on. Stop pretending. I'm sure Kyungsoo is in the kitchen. Go there and off. You're one of the people I don't want to see right now." Tao frowns. He was wondering where is Kris. He needs him now. He need him to throw Jongin out of his room.

"ing huh~" Jongin walked near him. "We don't call if ing anymore." Tao is still frowning. "We call it making love now. We're together now Tao. I came here today to make it clear to you. Also, I know that you really hate me for taking advantage of Kyungsoo hyung. I'm serious when I said I fell in love with him. And now, he's in love with me too."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you're his best friend and I want to be your friend too. I know we started a little off. I'm so sorry about what I did to KyungSoo hyung before. But I'm telling you now and I'm assuring you that I'm serious about him and I will take care of him. I won't hurt him."

"Do you swear on that?" Tao asks. He's calm now. Maybe he should give Jongin a chance. He looks like a puppy now and Tao doesn't have the heart to hurt someone who looks so sincere.

"I swear on that." Tao sighs then he glared at Jongin.

"Fine then. If you hurt Kyungsoo and I'm dead. I swear I'll come to your room every night and scare the living out of you." he said smiling to Jongin who smirked back at him. Then suddenly, Kris entered the room.

"You're not going to die!!" Kris said angrily as he walk to them. Jongin looked at Tao, shocked.

"he has issues. Go to kyungsoo now."

"Okay. Talk to you later Tao." Jongin bowed to Kris then left.

"ZiTao!!!.. ."

"Gege~ it's a joke okay. Jongin came to tell me he and Kyungsoo is finally together and I told him not to hurt my best friend." Tao explained.

"Even as a joke!!! Don't you dare say something like that ever again!!!" Kris said. Tao doesn't want to argue so he said sorry to Kris and did a little aegyo. He looks terrible so even if he tried to look cute, the pain on Kris' face didn't change.

-//-

Each day passing, Tao can feel his own body getting weaker and weaker. Kyungsoo looks happy with Jongin. Luhan told him that he met a guy named, Minseok and he's in love with him. Everyone looks happy except to Kris who's not leaving his side, hot or cold.

"Kris gege~ can I borrow your phone?" Tao asks. His voice is not as deep as before anymore. It sounds. ..fading.

"Why?"

"I want to call a friend."

"You have a friend?" Kris asks as a gentle smile curves on his lips.

"I do." Tao answered. Kris fished out his phone out of his pocket and gave it to Tao.

"I'll go outside and pick flowers for you while you're on the phone." Kris said.

"Okay." Tao smiles weakly.

When Kris is gone, Tao dialed on the phone. Beside Kris', Luhan's and Kyungsoo's number he memorized one more number. The one he's always calling and always consulting about a lot of thing. After a few rings, someone finally answered.

"Sehun."

"Oh!!! ZiTao!!!! You finally contacted me!!! How are you???" the guy on the other line asked excitedly.

"Bad. I'm dying."

"I already know that Tao. Other than that. How are you?"

"Good. Everyone is happy so I am too. How's the work I gave you?"

"Oh~ everything's good. I gathered all the papers that he'll need. You have nothing to worry about now Tao. You can rest." Sehun sounds sad.

"You sound like you want me to die sooner." Tao chuckles.

"Dude! You know that's not true. I just don't want you to suffer anymore. You've been through a lot. No matter how tired I am and no matter how ed up my life is, all of it still will never get to compared to yours. You're one ed up guy."

"That. I am. Well. I just called to make sure everything's alright. Thank you Sehun~. I love you."

"I love you too Tao and just.. ..rest." Sehun says almost in a whisper.

"I will. ..soon. Thank you again and.. .please ...take care of him."

"Mm~ rest. I'll end the call now." Sehun said.

When Tao hummed a yes the call immediately ended. At the same time, the door opened. Kris came in with fresh flowers on his hands. He's smiling too but not the happy smile, it's the sad smile. Like, he's obliged to do it so the younger would be happy. It's killing Tao more.

"gege~ I want strawberries."

"I'll tell Kyungsoo. Let me put this on the vase first."

"Okay." Tao said. He watched the older change the flowers with the fresh ones. It's beautiful, those flowers. He used to take care of them. He's happy that Kyungsoo is taking care of them now. Even the flowers will be fine now.

"It's beautiful." Kris said when he's done. "I'll go to the kitchen now."

"YiFan ge~" Tao calls out when Kris is about to get out of the room. It's been so long since he last called him that. He saw how surprised the older is.

"What is it?" he asked with so much love and care.

"Thank you for everything and.. ..I love you so much."

"What is it?" Kris walks to him worriedly. "Why are you like this?" he poked the younger's cheeks.

"I just want to say it... .please get my strawberries. I'm hungry." he kissed Kris hand.

"Okay. .." Kris said hesitantly then he went outside to get the strawberries. When the older is gone Tao's tears falls. He looked outside, it'll be night soon. He can already see some stars and the night eating the day. He sobs and sobs and sobs.

"Please. ..please.. .please.. .take me. I'm so tired." he begged. ". ..please.. .make me a star. I don't want to see him so sad anymore. I love him so much. I can live with pain my whole life, I don't mind. ..but.. .seeing Kris gege's face whenever I'm in pain is what's killing me. Please.. .God.. .please.. .take me. ...please."