Ah, Morning. Tao likes mornings. The bright light of the sun that was entering his room is hurting his eyes but, he likes it. It's warm and it makes him feel alive. He searched the room. Kris is sleeping on the couch. He's perfect like that, he looks like a painting. A very beautiful and breathtaking one.

Tao watch the older until the guy finally groans then open his eyes. The first thing he did was look at Tao, to check him. Their eyes met, he smiled at the older, the older smiled back. It was brighter than the sun, it's warmer than the sun. If only a lot of people would be able to see it. His older brother stands up and walk to him with his blinding smile.

"Good Morning MY Baby Panda." he greeted.

'Baby Panda' huh~

~~~

"gege~!!! Look!! Look!!! Pandas!!! There are pandas on the tv!! Come look!!" I say as I drag him with me to the living room where the big screen awaits. I got obsessed to Pandas. Thanks to him and the stuff toys that he stocked on my room.

I think I lived with them for a year then. I did my best to be good. I am right, Kris ge wants a baby brother because he's lonely. His. ..our parents is always not home. They're forever working. Kris ge, his days are all planned. Mondays and Tuesdays, he's being tutored, academics. Wednesdays, he's learning the piano and other instruments. Thursdays, swimming, sports, everything. Fridays, he has to do all of his assignments on academics. The tutor is getting it on afternoon to check it. Saturdays, arts. He says it's his favorite. Sunday, he's free but just after he went to the church.

He said he's always tired and he doesn't actually want to do all those things except for the basketball and art. He loves to paint just as much as he loves his basketball. At my first month, I was lonely too. Our parents are not home and Kris ge needs to study.

I'm so glad the driver's son, Luhan ge~, he's the same age as Kris gege but he's attending school. He becomes my playmate. He's such a bully sometimes but he told me that's just how he shows his affection. I like him, he's cute. Doesn't look like a boy at all, he's beautiful than any little girl I've seen. Kris gege is so possessive. We'll he still is but before was worse.

When he saw how I got so close to Lu-ge~, he started bringing me to his studies. Truth is, I like it. I like learning. I would sit beside him on academics, I'm learning a lot. I would verse with him even if I'm small when doing sports. While he's playing the piano I would try to play the guitar that is too big for a little boy that I was back then. He's making me watch as he paints. He told me to not to play with Lu-ge anymore because I am his.

Yes. HIS. I like how it sounds.

No one ever wanted me on the orphanage before and hearing someone getting possessive over me just feels so good and right.

Baby panda. He starts calling me that when I got addicted to panda. Who wouldn't? There're at least 200 pieces of panda stuff toy in my room, big to small. Even my bed sheets and my blanket has panda printed on them. My lampshade is a panda. Everything is a panda, and then I become his baby panda.

I remember back then that he loves touching my ears. He said if it's black then I would really look like the animal. I have eye bags, which is inborn. It's a part of my face so he says. He said he loves it and wants to kiss it. I'm his baby panda.

My eyes, nose, lips, ears, every strand of my hair, shoulders, arms, fingers, nails, even the dirt under it, my small build which gained a lot of weight ever since I got adopted, legs, feet, my WHOLE BODY. It's his. He owns me.

HIS.

His baby panda.

~~~

"Good Morning My Dragon." Tao greeted back.

"Your dragon." Kris smirks. He hugged Tao who welcomed him and hugged him back. "MINE!" he whispered to Tao.

"YOURS." Tao confirmed it.

"It's such a beautiful day to stay in bed. Do you want to eat breakfast on the garden?" Kris asked. Still attached to the younger.

"I don't have the energy to walk. I feel heavy and sore. I'm aching all over." he knows how much Kris hates it when he's saying it out loud. He's surprised the older is still buried on his neck, smelling him.

"I don't want to argue today, Baby Panda." Kris said. "I'll carry you to the garden okay?"

"Okay." he answered. Kris finally let him go. Ahh~ Tao doesn't want him to go yet but guess his older brother needs to brush and wash his face right.

"First. Let me help you to the bathroom. brush your teeth. You're still drooling." he teased.

"Am not!" Tao pouted.

"Then what's that beside your mouth?" he smirked. Tao touched it then he blushed. Kris is right, he's still drooling. He pouts again. "Come on." Kris said then helped him out of the bed. "Careful."

"You shouldn't have fired the nurse. Now you're suffering." he said guiltily.

"Suffering? Who is?"

"You!!"

"Me? I'm not. I like doing this. I just don't like the nurse touching you. You're mine."

"You and your possessiveness!"

"Only because I love you My baby panda. You're mine after all. I hate it when people are touching what's mine." he frowns. "and that nurse. She's touching you so much on purpose."

"I don't think so." Tao defended the nurse.

"Oh yeah? Did you know that I caught her about to kiss you the other day while you're sleeping?" Tao gasps.

"I don't.. ." he looked at Kris. "Is that why you fired her?"

"Yes." the older said. "She's a ."

"You know I'm not interested right?"

"I do. But she's still a and I know she won't stop doing it so I fired her." Tao kept quiet. "Wash your face and brush you teeth. I'll wait for you outside." Kris ordered. Tao did as told. Even if he doesn't feel like getting wet, he washed his face and brushed his teeth. When he's done wiping his face with the towel, he called out to the older who immediately entered the bathroom and helped him. "I'll cook breakfast." Kris said.

"Can't Kyungsoo do that? Stay here with me." Tao said.

"I like you like this." Kris smirked. "I'll tell him to cook then I'll come back okay?" Tao nods as he sit back to his bed. The older left and while he's gone, Tao once again decided to reminisce. He's done with the childhood.

~~~

Mm~ let's see. All and all my childhood was fun because Kris gege and I are always together. It only becomes a mess when Kris ge starts to attend school. A 30 minutes drive from the house. It's quite far.

"Tao~ your tutor will come later today. I need to go. Are you going to be fine alone till I come back?" Kris asked me. I want to say 'NO I WON'T BE FINE WITHOUT YOU' but I didn't. I smiled to him.

"I'll be fine gege~ be careful okay? Come home early. I'll wait for you."

Uh~ now that I'm thinking about it, I should've ask him to stay with me. I feel bad that day but I didn't tell him. That day is the start. The day when I found the bruises all around my body. The day when I feel dizzy and almost pop open my head when I slip down on the stairs. Kyungsoo, LuHan's younger brother, the same age as me. He was the one who saw everything. He called Luhan and their dad. They took me to the hospital and called Kris gege.

When Kris gege came to the hospital he looks like he cried a lot. That was the first time I saw him like that. He scolded me and told me I should've rest if I don't feel okay. When I was about to cry because I feel like I troubled him, he said sorry and said he was so worried. Like, he died a thousand deaths that same day. The doctor came and he asked Kris gege~ where's our parents. He told the doctor they're too busy and they won't be able to come.

I understand, I'm not their son so they won't risk their company just to see me. They won't even come home when Kris gege got sick once. Who am I to get their attention right. I wanted to hear what the doctor is going to say but, the doctor himself glanced at me then asked Kris gege to go outside with him.

They talked outside the hospital room where I cannot hear. That's when I start thinking. Am I sick that much? The answer is yes. Kris doesn't want to keep it from me so he told the doctor to tell me. I cried when they told me I'm sick. I don't know how it happened. It just.. .happened.

~~~

"Baby Panda~" Kris called. He entered the room with Kyungsoo. "He's asking what you want. I don't know what you want so I brought him with me." Kyungsoo smiled at him.

"What do you what to eat Tao?" the owl eyed asks.

"Pancakes?" Tao asked them and himself. He's not even sure if he wants to eat. ". ..and some strawberries. .." both of the guy looking at him looks confused. ". ..I'm not that hungry. Anything's fine, I'll eat it with strawberries." Kyungsoo smiled.

"got it." he said then turned to Kris. "What about you Kris hyung?" he asked.

"Same as Tao. Except the strawberries. Give it all to him."

"Okay. I'll take it to the garden."

"Thanks Kyungsoo." Kris said. The younger just smiled. That smile again. Tao knows that smile. He knows because Kyungsoo told him.

~~~

That's right. I'm 15 then, I know I'm sick but I'm still strong. I can still play sports and I can still practice wushu then. Kris gege was 18. Kyungsoo and I, we go to the same school. He's my classmate, Kris gege won't let me go to the school if I'm not with him. Kris just graduated from high school. He's 20 and we're 17. Kyungsoo pulled me right after watching Kris gege's graduation. He said he wants to tell me something. Intuition, I know something is up and it won't be good.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"I'm in-love with Kris hyung~!"

"WHAT!?"

"I'm in-love with your brother!"

"You're gay?"

"I didn't know I was until I got hard after I saw him half when he just came out of the bathroom." he admitted to me.

"OH MY GOD!!!"

"I know! No wait! I don't know!! I don't know what to do Tao. What should I do??" he asked me. ME! why me? I don't know too Kyungsoo, duh~!

"I don't know. Maybe you should tell him?" NO!!! DON'T TELL HIM!

"Is he gay??"

~~~

"What're you thinking?" Kris asked.

"Huh~?" Tao answered absentmindedly.

"You're staring outside the window again."

"Kris gege~ are you gay?"

"What?" the older's eyes is big. "Why are you suddenly asking that?"

"Just answer me? Please?" he said.

"I go both ways. I don't care about gender."

"Oh~"

"Why are you asking?"

".. ."

"Baby Panda~ WHY.ARE.YOU.ASKING?" he asked again.

"I'm thinking if you'll get married." Kris didn't say anything for a while.

"Let's get you to the garden."

"Are you going to get married when I'm~"

"ZITAO!" the older raised his voice. "Please! Just don't!!" he looked down.

"I'm sorry. Let's go to the garden." Kris sighs then he quietly helped Tao to put a coat on. It's too early and it's still cold outside. He doesn't want the younger to feel cold. When he's done Tao stared at him quietly. He knows what he needs to do. "I'm sorry I shouted." he said then he hugged he younger who hugged him back.

"I'm sorry too. I just can't stop myself from thinking about it."

"Don't think about it. It won't happen and.. .NO. I'm not gonna get married. I'll stay with you forever just like how you stayed with me before."

"You should go out once in a while gege~ I don't want to keep you here. You need to live your own life."

"I don't want to live my life if it's not with you." Tao blushed. "You know that right?" he let go of the younger then he tucks the hair that was falling on the younger's forehead.

"I'm hungry." Tao changed the subject. He knows that Kris loves him. The older proved it a lot of times already so he's not doubting it. Kris smiled.

"Let's go to the garden. Can you walk?"

"I can walk on my own gege but you won't let me." he rolled his eyes.

"I see you feel stronger today since you have the energy to roll your eyes at me." he chuckles.

They went to the garden. Fresh air. Tao likes it, it smells so good. It's the flowers, he used to take care of them but now that Kris won't even let him walk on his own, LuHan is taking care of them. He's glad the older does. LuHan is the same age as Kris but unlike his older brother, LuHan is living his life to the fullest. He adores Tao so he would always tell him stories. About school, about going somewhere far, about meeting someone, about falling in love for the first time. He's saying it all to Tao.

Tao wants to see Kris like LuHan. An out going guy. He wants to see him going out of the house with his own friends, he wants to see him having fun. There's more to life than just sitting in front of a sick person. He wants Kris to see the world. Something he himself will never be able to do anymore because he's slowly dying. Living and fighting for life is out of the question because the doctor already gave him a date. Kris is still refusing to believe it up today.

He said Tao is not going to die, he believes so. But, it's leukemia, it's cancer and whether they like it or not. Sooner or later Tao will. .. Again, Tao's thoughts got interrupted when Kyungsoo came out to the house with the tray if food. He's struggling to carry everything so when Kris saw it, he immediately stood up and helped the owl eyed guy.

"Where's the other maid?" Kris asked Kyungsoo as he take the tray on his left hand.

"They're all busy with something. Luhan hyung too." he blushed when they had a skin contact.

~~~

I want to answer KyungSoo's question before, now. NO KYUNGSOO HE'S NOT GAY. HES SAID HE'S BI. I wish I could say that to him before. But my answer then is too different.

"I don't think he is." I told Kyungsoo who suddenly looks so down. Oh no. I made him sad. I still feel bad about making him sad that day.

"But it doesn't mean you don't have a chance. Just tell him and we'll know. It's better than keeping it a secret."

"I don't want to tell him. I don't have the courage and.. .I don't want him to avoid me after he rejects me."

"How are you so sure that he's going to reject you?"

"LuHan hyung. He told me Kris hyung is not planning to be in a relationship. Guy or Girl, no one stands a chance because Kris hyung is not interested."

"Oh~. Then why did you tell me?"

"Because you're my friend. And the man I fell in love with is your older brother. I don't want to keep it a secret from you."

And just like that, up to now. My poor little owl eyed friend is still not confessing to Kris gege. I feel so bad for him, I feel so guilty. I want to tell Kris gege because I don't want to see him hurt anymore. Also, I don't want to see him with that bastard Kim Jongin anymore.

That's right. Kim Jongin.

The school's devil dancer who likes ing around. That little knows about Kyungsoo's feelings for Kris gege. He took advantage of poor little Kyungsoo. He offered him body comfort.

Pleasure.

Pleasure where my friend is weak to. That's right again. From when we're still high school students till now. Kyungsoo and Jongin has been ing each other. They're what you'd call, buddies.

I told Kyungsoo to cut ties with Jongin and he did. But little er, Jongin believes that he's in-love with my friend so he did his best to get him back.

I should've helped him confessing. I know Kris gege would consider going out with him. Just, consider. But at least, I could've help him. But I didn't. I just watched as Kyungsoo enters hell with Kim Jongin which I hate so much for taking advantage of my friend's broken heart. Oh no. Not now!!! Not when I'm thinking about the past!! Ugh~!!!

~~~

Tao suddenly threw up blood. Kris literally threw the food somewhere and ran to him. Kyungsoo too. His older brother shouted to Kyungsoo to call someone, anyone. He heard his friend says, he'll call their family doctor that's living a few house away and also his brother.

"TAO. OH MY GOD! TAO!!! MY BABY PANDA!!" Kris panicked. He's always like that. He's never gonna get used with all the blood. Tao's tears falls just as much as a lot of blood was getting out of his mouth and nose. He feels so weak, feels so heavy, sore. He's in pain and he just wants to die at the spot. He hates to feel like that, but of all of it. He hates seeing his older brother like that. His poor older brother.

"Don't cry. I'm okay." he threw up blood again and when he stopped he caress Kris' face. "please. Don't cry."

"Dr. Zhang is here!" Kyungsoo announced.

"Let's get him to his room. You have all the equipment there right?"

"Yes." Kris managed to choked out.

That's right. Tao room is basically an emergency room. Wu's are rich, Kris is rich. He bought all of the medical equipments that Tao will be needing. He said he doesn't want Tao to stay at the hospital so they literally turned Tao's room an emergency room. A hospital inside the house. Kris is rich and .. .stubborn. Luhan came too shortly, Dr. Zhang asked them all to help him get Tao inside the house. Also, the doctor called to the hospital and asks some of his friend nurses to come.

"Where is ZiTao's nurse?" the Dr. Asked.

"I fired her." Kris said. Dr. Zhang sighs.

"That's the 3rd one this month Kris. ZiTao needs a nurse." he said.

"Then find a nurse who wouldn't try to kiss my younger brother while he's sleeping." Kris said with a glare.

"I'll hire a 45 years old nurse this time. Make sure you're not going to fire her again. ZiTao really really really need someone to take care of him. Someone who wouldn't panic like you."

"FINE! but if she made a pass on MY baby panda she's out." Kris crossed his arms.

After a while 3 nurses came and assists Mr. Zhang as he do tests to Zitao. The younger is not throwing up blood anymore. Dr. Zhang asked the nurses to clean him but Kris stopped them and said he'll do it himself with Luhan and Kyungsoo's help. He really hates someone else touching the younger.

When Tao is clean, Dr. Zhang told him to rest, sleep. The younger looked at Kris who looks terrible like him. His dear older brother who loves him so much. He feels so bad for him. He wants to hug him, kiss him and tell him he loves him so much too. But, he can't. He's tired and even if he protest, his own eyes betrayed him and they closed without his consent.

~~~

Kris gege~ I love you so much. I'm YOURS forever. Please don't cry when I'm gone. You'll be fine. I'll make sure you will be. I love you MY dragon.

~~~