Broken from Thought

A Fan Fiction Writer's Guide

Most of the time when a character is thinking, they are then torn away from their thoughts because someone else talked. That's usually the amateur transition because the author doesn't know how to smoothly transition otherwise, and hey, you're not alone. I used it in the past, but I have grown as a writer and have strayed away from that. 

If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's an example:

What motives did Luxan have anyway? Once he completely took over Luhan's vessel and oppressed the latter, then what would he do with the immense power? It was all so strange to Sehun and he was still trying to wrap his head around the thought, but his thoughts were interrupted when someone began to talk. 

"Hey, Sehun," Luhan called out. 

-

I haven't made a transition like that in so long and I kind of forgot how to. Anyway, here's what you can do without the interrupted thoughts transition:

What motives did Luxan have anyway? Once he completely took over Luhan's vessel and oppressed the latter, then what would he do with the immense power? It was all so strange, really. What, with Luhan becoming his vinculum after Kai disappeared; Luxan being conscious inside the vessel; and the destiny to save heaven. Sehun was only 17 for God's sake! How could he take on such a job?

"Hey, Sehun," Luhan called out softly and put a gentle--almost tentative--hand on the younger's tense shoulder. Sehun glanced up from his intense stare down with a tulip and relaxed upon seeing Luhan's angelic face.

-

Ok, I know I went overboard with the writing and such, but I plan on making it a story anyway so I just kind of got into it. The point is the transition. In the first one, it uses the amateur "broken from thought" while in the second one, it goes straight to dialogue. I mean, on occasions, the first way is acceptable, but only once or twice. Do not overuse it. Get creative! I don't think I've read any book with the first transition, so that should say to you: yes, it's possible to transition easily in another way. 

By the way, vinculum is Latin for bond. I didn't want to say bond because that would be fricken boring anyway. 

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iexoeris #1
Chapter 41: In chapter 41, the first sentence is grammatically incorrect. In the first sentence, the 'me' should be 'my' instead. It is a very common mistake that I see, even in popular books. I think this grammar rule will change. Also, I am in middle school too and I love EXO. PS- Rick Riordan is my favourite writer. Did you fall in love with PJO, HOO, TOA, Kane Chronicles or Magnus Chase?
tokyeoul #2
Chapter 36: This is what I call fun in learning! This is a really good, humorous, straight-to-the-point guide (I made sure that I used correct punctuation on that sentence okay). You are way younger than me but I am just a newbie writer so this helped me a lot. I am still not finished and I am actually reading this at midnight. No surprise there haha! Anyway, thank you so so much!
BaekYeolChanBaek #3
DUDE WE'RE THE SAME AGE
JKNewsandDavidSo #4
Chapter 55: Lol Alternate Universe if you haven't found out it the few months that you've written this chapter xD
JKNewsandDavidSo #5
Chapter 19: Wow middle school, what grade r u now? I'm in middle school too!
LeaMon #6
I know right, when people don't capitalize properly, spell properly, has bad punctuation or use bad grammar, I immediately stop, because my eyes hurt. I became a grammar nazi, because whenever my friends and I use bad grammar or those other things, she subtracts our discipline points. Now, the things I mentioned above will just make me annoyed and somehow judge people quietly... It's pretty bad, but I can't help it.
hermion8 #7
Chapter 58: Just dropping by to say I totally agree with what you wrote. I tried to write something like this before, although unfortunately, I lost my list of commonly misused words and had to focus on college. Maybe I'll resurrect that soon...
One thing I hate the most though, aside from mid-chapter POV shifts and profiles, is when the author tries to excuse not proofreading by saying "English is not my first language." I understand that not everyone perfects grammar and all, especially one they don't use all the time, but proofreading is a way to learn, right?
I'm babbling here. Haha. I hope more people actually read things like this... There are a lot of plots with potential but... :/
dreamshade #8
Chapter 57: I'm gonna miss this and you, too. Hope that you'll come back and give me and the others more useful tips in writing fanfic. Thank you for sharing too ^^
MissLalaMoon #9
Chapter 28: I agree with this. It really annoys me when I see some Korean words that are simple to use in English (does that even make sense?). One time the entire sentence was in Korean and I had no idea what they were saying. I thought at the end of the chapter they we going to explain what they said, but they didn't. So I stopped reading the story, since most of the story consisted of the characters talking in Korean and I could not stand it. The only Korean word you could say that I use a lot is “yah” since it has been in my vocabulary even before I got into KPOP. I use some other ones, even though I don't like to, but sometimes when I write it English it looks weird. But I don't write full sentences, it just looks odd and I don't even know how to. I only know (and use) the simple terms such as “oppa,” “hyung,” “umma,” and etc.
Milielitre #10
Chapter 55: au stands for Alternate Universe, a story in which your characters are not what they are in real life. The opposite would be cannon, or alternate reality, a story in which your characters are still idols.
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