Cringe Worthy Pt 1

A Fan Fiction Writer's Guide

Luhan gazed into Sehun's eyes lovingly, bringing his hand up to his husband's cheek. The latter held on so tightly, almost desperately, that it was like Luhan was the only thing tying him down to such a messed up world; why was such one made with sickness, disease, and death? Why couldn't Luhan stay forever? It seemed that day as Luhan lay there, condition slowly deteriorating, God had forgotten about his beloved creations.

"Don't cry, Sehunnie," Luhan croaked out, wiping the stray tear that fell down Sehun's face. "I'll still be with you, just not physically." (a/n: omg Sehunnie don't cry. Luhan is still there! Stupid life)

"Why did it have to be you?" Sehun cried out, choking on his own saddness. "I can't live without you!" He squeezed his husband's hand tighter, feeling the cold wedding ring almost slip off. 

"I love you, my Sehunnie..." Luhan whispered, pulling Sehun towards him for one last kiss. (a/n: omg I'm crying now) When they parted lips, Sehun felt his lover's hand go limp and the only sound that filled his head was the single beep before the line went flat and Luhan ceased his short breaths(a/n:nooooo! Luhan!); his life was cut short at the age of 30.

LESSON OF THE DAY: NEVER PUT AN AUTHOR'S NOTE IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORY, AS IF YOU HADN'T WRITTEN IT. LIKE WTH. YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN FOR YOUR CHARACTERS. IF YOU WANTED A HAPPY STORY, THEN MAKE ONE YOU 'TARD. ESPECIALLY NOT DURING AN ANGST MOMENT. LIKE "THE HELL, MAN?"

Btw, I did well up slightly when writing this.

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iexoeris #1
Chapter 41: In chapter 41, the first sentence is grammatically incorrect. In the first sentence, the 'me' should be 'my' instead. It is a very common mistake that I see, even in popular books. I think this grammar rule will change. Also, I am in middle school too and I love EXO. PS- Rick Riordan is my favourite writer. Did you fall in love with PJO, HOO, TOA, Kane Chronicles or Magnus Chase?
tokyeoul #2
Chapter 36: This is what I call fun in learning! This is a really good, humorous, straight-to-the-point guide (I made sure that I used correct punctuation on that sentence okay). You are way younger than me but I am just a newbie writer so this helped me a lot. I am still not finished and I am actually reading this at midnight. No surprise there haha! Anyway, thank you so so much!
BaekYeolChanBaek #3
DUDE WE'RE THE SAME AGE
JKNewsandDavidSo #4
Chapter 55: Lol Alternate Universe if you haven't found out it the few months that you've written this chapter xD
JKNewsandDavidSo #5
Chapter 19: Wow middle school, what grade r u now? I'm in middle school too!
LeaMon #6
I know right, when people don't capitalize properly, spell properly, has bad punctuation or use bad grammar, I immediately stop, because my eyes hurt. I became a grammar nazi, because whenever my friends and I use bad grammar or those other things, she subtracts our discipline points. Now, the things I mentioned above will just make me annoyed and somehow judge people quietly... It's pretty bad, but I can't help it.
hermion8 #7
Chapter 58: Just dropping by to say I totally agree with what you wrote. I tried to write something like this before, although unfortunately, I lost my list of commonly misused words and had to focus on college. Maybe I'll resurrect that soon...
One thing I hate the most though, aside from mid-chapter POV shifts and profiles, is when the author tries to excuse not proofreading by saying "English is not my first language." I understand that not everyone perfects grammar and all, especially one they don't use all the time, but proofreading is a way to learn, right?
I'm babbling here. Haha. I hope more people actually read things like this... There are a lot of plots with potential but... :/
dreamshade #8
Chapter 57: I'm gonna miss this and you, too. Hope that you'll come back and give me and the others more useful tips in writing fanfic. Thank you for sharing too ^^
MissLalaMoon #9
Chapter 28: I agree with this. It really annoys me when I see some Korean words that are simple to use in English (does that even make sense?). One time the entire sentence was in Korean and I had no idea what they were saying. I thought at the end of the chapter they we going to explain what they said, but they didn't. So I stopped reading the story, since most of the story consisted of the characters talking in Korean and I could not stand it. The only Korean word you could say that I use a lot is “yah” since it has been in my vocabulary even before I got into KPOP. I use some other ones, even though I don't like to, but sometimes when I write it English it looks weird. But I don't write full sentences, it just looks odd and I don't even know how to. I only know (and use) the simple terms such as “oppa,” “hyung,” “umma,” and etc.
Milielitre #10
Chapter 55: au stands for Alternate Universe, a story in which your characters are not what they are in real life. The opposite would be cannon, or alternate reality, a story in which your characters are still idols.
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