SUNNY'S POV

It's a cold night and I'm all alone in the dorm. I'm used to it already, staying in this quiet dorm, but tonight, it feels different. I don't know why.

Is it the end of our journey? A journey that I treasured a lot. A journey that I never get tired of it as long as I could look into their eyes and smile satisfiedly. Where are they? Some of them are still here, making my phone ringing at night, wishing each other goodnight. As I said, some. I don't know what to do anymore. It's not easy to fix a broken heart. I may be the Sunny that you know, uri Sunny that will fix anything. But now, it's hard.

'Where is she, Ginger ah?' I carreased her favorite dog.

'You miss her huh?' I asked him eventhough I couldn't get the answer. That intelligent dog then make a sound, a sad sound that shows his feeling maybe. He then laid his head on my lap.

I've been thinking a lot of things these days. Thinking about our future, our past. How, I mean what will happen next? Actually, it's hard to accept the fact that your bestfriends are having commitments in making other souls happy, it makes all the things that are used to be in a usual way for years completely changed. I mean everybody is busy in taking care of other person's heart, until they couldn't realize it may hurt others too. It's not anyone's fault, it's a natural thing for a human, to be in love, to love somebody, to let someone in, we couldn't avoid all that. But sometimes, sure it leaves pain in others, without our knowing. You too feel the pain right? But there's nothing you can do, you can only be happy for the person you love.

I chuckled softly. How I remember those old days, when all nine hands were there, promising each other to be together, until the end of our journey. We're still young, eighteen, nineteen at that moment. I wonder did we truly understand the real meaning of promise?  That moment, we've all agreed to be together until the end of this journey. I wonder, did anyone actually know when is the end of this journey? No one ever said and no one ever asked the specific date, the specific time. When is the end? There is end for everything right? We're all surely gonna end with death, but this journey, a journey where 9 girls are holding each other hands tightly, walking together in the same path, walking together... walking together to where? Where are we heading? To the end? Yes to the end, but where's the end?

A good life is when it ends with happiness.

The word 'happiness' is too wide.

Happiness for you is when you can watch our concert for free

Happiness for Sooyoung is when she can eat anything without stopping

Happiness for Tiffany is when she can have everything that she demand in pink including strawberry ice-cream

Happiness for Seohyun is when she can read all sorts of books in this entire world and share it with others

Happiness for Taeyeon is when she can collect all her favourite cartoon characters plushies and keep it for herself

Happiness for Yuri is when she can mastered in all sports while maintaining her perfect figure

Happiness for Yoona is when she knows her acting can inspired others

Happiness for Hyoyeon is when she can go out whenever she wants without anyone stopping her

Happiness for Jessica is when she can sleep for the whole year

Happiness for me is when,

Is when...

Is when...

Well, everyone wants to be happy. But I wonder, maybe I am wayy toooo outdated, maybe their 'happiness' is different now. Maybe I'm actually talking about the happiness of that 20 years old Jessica Jung, that young 19 years old of Choi Sooyoung, that 20 years old of Tiffany Hwang, that Gee era of Kim Taeyeon, that Kissing You era of Seohyun, that newly debut actress of Im Yoona, that athletic Yuri during our Invincible Youth filming and maybe that Run Devil Run era of Hyoyeon.

Oh ya! We're actually 27!

And our era is different now, we're shaking our butts to Lion Heart!

I almost forgot !

I chuckled. Gee was already 6 years ago, and that Miyoung is not sulking anymore whenever she's not the one who gets the pink items, and of course! Kim Taeyeon still liking cartoons but not all of them are Peas in a Pod, Minions because she's more interested in skulls design I don't know not that kind of cutie pie one anymore... And that Shikshin Sooyoung still eats a lot but she do know how to avoid food now to take care of her health, and sometimes Yuri also skips her Yoga classes and drink 5 cans of beer by her own and still dare to order large pan of pizza while maknae is not shy anymore when talking about guys, plus that Jessica who's always sleep is all wake up now and more passionate in fashion business, oh ya.. and she's gone.

I know them too well, I know them too much, that's why the pain of losing that 20 years old full of enthusiasm friends is indescribable, I'm not losing them. They are still here. Right? Or should I call those as memories? Memories... Something that we love, something that excites us, but we know, they will never coming back. No ! I'm not gonna say that !

As time passes, everything surely will change.

''Where are you heading to?' I asked that cold American girl

'A bussiness meeting with Tyler.' she answered while putting on some pinkish colour tint on her thin lips.

Well at least she gave me the whole information. Didn't she feel tired at all? We just finished our showcase, and now she's going out for bussiness.

'Tomorrow we have practice do remember that.' I reminded her.

'It's always in my mind. Don't worry.' she flashed her simple smile.

'Good then.'

She packed her things and left after hugging me softly.

'And you Fany? You got any other plans?'

'Yah..' she smiled until her eye-smiles appeared, also busy packing her things.

I understand it, who else makes she smile all by herself other than Nichkhun.

'Take care then.' I said.

'Sure Sunny I will ! ' she replied while also busy talking on the phone claiming that she needs 5 more minutes and I'm sure she's talking to Nichkhun. This multitasking Fany is so amazing.

Yuri, Yoona and Sooyoung flew back to Korea immedietely after our showcase in Japan ended. Yoona had CF filming while Yuri with her MCs job, whereas Sooyoung needed to visit Kyungho's mom urgently as his mom is admitted to hospital, she just knew about it after she received a phone call from Kyungho that morning before showcase started.

I saw maknae is at a corner with a laptop on her lap, with headphone, must be struggling with her assignments.

'So, Sunny you got no plan?' suddenly Hyoyeon laid her beside me.

'I want to rest. That's all I need, before going back to Korea tomorrow.' I replied

'Heyy we're in the same team.' she then demanded for a high five and I fulfilled it, lazily.

'Taeyeon neun?' I asked.

'Sleeping.' Hyoyeon answered casually.

After the incident with that EXO boy, she's completely different. I know she has so many thing to take care to, but sometimes she neglects herself.

'Sungyu, still not sleeping?' suddenly I heard a voice that I recognized so much.

'Hyoyeon, you're still here?' I asked while she already laid her beside me.

'What do you mean by 'you're still here'? I just came in.' she replied.

I chuckled.

I just realized that I daydreamed too much. I saw a screen of black television in front of me. And yes I'm at home, not in Japan. Not sitting on the couch after The Boys showcase.

'Nothing. You know what, I think about you just now, where we're sitting on a couch exactly the same like what we're doing right now, having a conversation. Just you and me left, no one else was there. And now you came out of nowhere, sitting beside me, I'm a bit surprise. I'm going through the same situation twice. Fuhh.'

'Really? Woahhh. Am I that important to you until you could think about me? ' she laughed.

'Of course you are!' I slapped her shoulder softly.

'Why are you crying Sunny? ' Hyoyeon asked while wiping away my tears.

'Really?' I smiled in full of embarassement. I didn't realize it I swear.

'So did Taeyeon contacted you?' she asked.

'Yah Kim Hyoyeon! You know what, we're also talking about Taeyeon in that past conversation.'

'Okayyy that's creepy.'

'I think you can detect it by looking at Ginger.' I replied

Hyoyeon nodded her head.

'So she's not coming back huh. And you're worse than Ginger.'

'So, where are you from?' I asked Hyoyeon who's no longer staying in this dorm.

'I'm from my house, and I bring all my clothes. I don't know what is wrong with me but, I want to stay here.'

'Really? Until when? Tomorrow you must be leaving right.'

'I don't know.. until when.. maybe until jessica is home.'

I fell in silent.

'But it's not gonna happen right.' Hyoyeon starred blankly at the wall.

I sighed heavily.

It seems like Hyoyeon is in the same pain as me. I don't know what to believe, who to believe anymore. I'm afraid, if I keep on saying, everything is going to be okay, but still, it's not okay.

'I actually called her last night, but couldn't get it. She must have changed her number.' Hyoyeon continued.

'Really?'

'Am I look like I'm lying?'

'You always lie to me !' I laughed.

'But now I'm serious Sungkyu. You know how hard I've tried to pretend that I don't care, I'm strong, to make everyone feels the same, I want everybody to be strong too, but it turns out that I'm the first one who fell on the ground first.'

I fell in silent.

'You know what, after I mentioned about her during my radio show, saying that she could come back to this house whenever she wants, I already broke Hyoyeon.'

'We keep on saying that it's her dream, it's her choice, let her be happy. If she's happy, then we as her friends, are more than happy. I'm so happy for her, I bought all her glasses and keep it at home. After all, she's doing what she wants, her choice. But... we all know.. that is not her choice.'

Hyoyeon then started to cry hardly. She covered her face with both of her hands, she couldn't talk anymore. She had always keep all of this by herself and tonight, she let it all out.

I cried too.

'I feel bad for her Sunny. I feel really realy bad.' she burried her face on my chest. I hugged her and rubbed her back softly.

'She still wants to stay.' I said to her.

Hyoyeon nodded her head.

'Yes. She loves us too. I know that.'

'Of course she loves us. Why did you say something like this?'

Hyoyeon then took out her iphone and showed me a text.

From : Jessica

I hate all of you. Stop contacting me.

Pls I'm begging you.

I'm begging you so much.

I don't want to live like this anymore. Pls.

My heart was like stopping when I read it.

'When did you get this?'

'Last week.' Hyoyeon still crying.

'And when I came here, to our home, I thought I could see Tiffany, Taeyeon, Yuri but it's just you... it's just you here.' she continued to cry, crying like a child.

'I'm scared Sunny...'

I hugged Hyoyeon tightly. I understand it. I'm scared too, and I believe, whenever Tiffany, Seohyun, Sooyoung, Yoona, Yuri, Taeyeon are standing right now, they are also scared.

Scared of losing each of us.

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Thanks for reading. Which era did you like the most? For me it's always The Boys. :) Stay tuned for Jessica's POV :D