It's another dull morning. I parked my car in front of this huge white house. I searched for the key in my handbag, entered the house.

No one is here. I always come here actually, sometimes with him and sometimes I came all by myself. And also there's time when I slept on the couch at the living room, suddenly he'll be back at midnight. He'll be watching the football channel all night long while I sleep in his arms. While he was playing with my hair, I sleep until the next morning, I'll wake up and went to my schedule as usual. It's one of the happiest moment that I ever had. Being with him. Although there's no much time, but it makes me happy.

I saw my pictures were not there anymore, at their usual spots.

He had forgotten me?

That easy?

He managed to forget me while I am still living in his shadows.

Namja..

I know maybe he's happy now. She even kissed that girl in We Got Married. Truthfully, I am shocked. I still couldn't get over it.

My slippers wasn't there too. Did he throw it away? I walked to the glass window. I went to the outside, it's our favourite place in that house. I stood there while the morning breezes makes my hair moves softly. I starred at the wide sea in front of me.

'JANG WOOYOUNG -SSI!!!'

'CAN YOU HEAR ME? I'M COMING FOR YOU !' I let go of my voice to the blue sea in front of me. The birds are chirpping, it's like they are following me to scream too.

Silence...

Only the sound of the sea could be heard.

'WOOYOUNG -SSI !! NAN YEOGISSEO !'

Silence again..

I cried... I rarely cry.. But, I cried..

I cried hardly. I sat on the wooden floor. I cried with all my heart.

I dont want to wipe this tears. Let it all out. I am too sad.. It's too hard for me to bear with this.

How am I going to live without him?

I can't..

He left without looking at me who was calling his name that night. Maybe he's too mad at me. I don't know this would be easy for him. He went to Bali after that, he never contacted me. I tried to call him but couldn't reach him. I saw he uploaded many photos on Instagram, while smiling hapilly and enjoying his vacation. It's too easy for him, isn't it?

Where is he when I need him the most?

He didn't care, at all.

I am all alone in facing this hard situation. Dating scandal, it's traumatizing.

Being hated by people.. Those harsh words..

They trust the thing that I didn't do. I don't want to lie, but what else can I do?

It's not that I want it to be that way.

I went to his house few times. Hoping that he'll be there.

I need him. I want to cry to him. I want to be in his arms. There's so many things that I want to tell him. I sleep there and hoping that when I wake up the next morning, he's already there next to me.

But, no.

He never comeback.

Why is everyone leaving me?

Wooyoung -ssi, kerigo..

Jessica..

Why? Am I that bad? I've done everything that I can. I did every single thing that they asked me to. What else?

I helped those EXO boys. I lied to my fans. I obeyed them. What else?

'Taeyeon, you're one of the people that we trust the most. Boa, Yunho, Leeteuk and you.. We've always putting high expectations on you guys. You guys are the leader. I always hoping on you Taeyeon. Since you're small. We are hoping a lot from you. It's not that hard. Just pretending you're dating this boy.'

That was the third time SM called me for a private meeting. I've always refused to do it until this third time, they personally asked Lee Sooman -saem to convince me.

'I can't saem. Josunghamnida.'

'Why? Is it because you afraid to hurt anyone?'

'Of course.. My fans..'

'Or any other person?' he asked me.

'We know everything Taeyeon.. What you've been doing at the house near the beach.. We know you're dating who. We raised you, since you're kids. We pay for everything that you need, your school, your expenses. We did everything to make you live in poshness. We even help your parents remember at that time? Do I need to explain more?' Kim Youngmin, our new CEO seems like threating me with all of his statements.

'Youngmin -ahh.. ' Sooman saem raised his voice after he finished his words.

Josunghamnida Sooman -ssi but please dont raise your voice at me. I have the right now. Taeyeon, I know you love that boy. You must not want seeing him hurt.'

'What are you talking about?' I asked them.

'You're more than know...'

They want to hurt him. Yes they can do anything.

That was when I agreed. I agreed because of him. None other than him. And of course, because Sooman saem had helped me a lot. He's like an appa to me, to all the other girls.

I know he went to see our CEO once. He was too brave, entering our CEO's room and yelled at him. But if I am already helpless, what do you think about him? He's worse than helpless. There's nothing he can do. They beat him up. Our company is not like any other company. It's different. Only people who've been trained under it, like us, will know the truth. Will know the real suffers.

He had done everything he could. But still, he can't change anything.

I am still known as EXO Baekhyun's girlfriend.

Not a 2PM Wooyoung's girlfriend..

Which the truth is, I am actually his.

My last year birthday, he brought me to this house. I couldn't describe with words how much I love this place. My pictures are on the wall, this house is always fill with music, my favorite flowers are all over the place, my favorite fragrance, and he knows that I like beach.. That's why he choose this. I like to be at calm places.

He seldom talk much about his feelings. He's not really like any other guy who always saying 'I love you..'. He rarely express his feelings for me. He's not the typical guy who will text his girlfriend a 'good morning' wish every single day. But I always know that he loves me

when I received my lunch pack sometimes with my favorite dish in it

when he came to my house late at night only to give me my favorite ice-cream

when he always followed me from the back until I entered my house safely

when he waited for me until I finished practice late at night

when he is willing to walked in the rain only to meet me

when he brought me to that home

He is just the way that I like. His jokes, I couldn't help by laughing at it. He's not boring at all. He's fun. He'll do anything. He once back from the beach barefootly while bringing lots of cute shells for me. Where the hell he got it? I don't know that Jang Wooyoung sometimes is so weird.

And of course I love those cute shells. It's too cute!

He also once brought a cute puppy to this house. We took care of it until it died because of sickness. I cried because of that and he laughed at me.

Playing kites with him while running along the beach, I miss all of that.

'Why there're so many pictures of mine on the wall?' I asked him once.

'Because you stay in this house, kerigo, for decoration of course. Why you want me to hang Tiffany's pictures? Seohyun's? Sunny's? Okay I'll do it..'

'Yah! Aneyo.. HAHA. You stay in this house too. But none of your pictures are here.'

'None of my pictures are good to be hang on the wall.'

'That's all? There's no any other reason?'

'No...'

'You sure?'

'Ayyy Taeyeon -ssi, do you need to ask more? Geurae.. geurae.. It's because I love you..'

He loves me..

But he wasn't there when I need him the most.

It's my fault too.. I never think about his heart. He's hurt, I know. I saw he uploaded a video on Instagram, before people caught me dating with Baekhyun. He was singing to a sad song. He never upload any video before.

'Taeyeon -ssi, you're spending your time more on Instagram than me. I should call you Taengstagram -ssi..'

But he too always scrolling on Instagram! Yes I have to admit that, I always scrolling on the Instagram. I love to see beautiful photos. I stalked my fans of course. I actually had time to scroll on some pictures that people tagged me, too bad I just have to ignore it, but I could see it actually. People sometimes notice when I upload a picture together with Wooyoung. It's not like a picture together, it's more to indirectly. Same pose, same time, something like that.

Different with Nichkhun and Tiffany, they like to wear couple thingy, while Taecyeon and Jessica, will bravely going out in public.

Taecyeon and Jessica.. It's an old story. It's not like that anymore. Talking about Jessica, I didn't know that she care about me until Tiffany sent me a screenshot of her message last night.

She asked Fany to take care of me, I am in my worst days. Yes she always know, but why, she left too?

'Taeyeon, I need to talk to you.'

I looked at her while my eyebrows furrowed. She pulled my hand while everybody was busy packing to wrap up our concert which just ended in Fukuoka. It was chaotic as hell. All are tired but the noises couldn't be stop. Sooyoung, Hyoyeon were still making noises, Tiffany was still talking excitedly about the concert with her loud voice along with Sunny who was laughing hysterically at a corner. Seohyun was busy asking whose belongings that she just found on the floor or anywhere and Yuri was just sitting, she's not feeling well that night, having runny nose.

All of the sudden, that ice princess came and pulled my hand. We went out from there to have a private space. Honestly, it's kinda awkward.

'Taeyeon, I can't follow all of you back to our home tonight. I got meeting tomorrow in Hongkong.'

'It's regarding the Blanc?'

'Yeapp.. You know it..'

'Who's going with you?' I asked her.

'What? You mean.. Our member?'

'Ohh I thought you're going, maybe with Yuri.. or Fany..'

'No.. Tyler's goin to pick me.'

She lowered her gaze, only watching the floor.

'Have you told our manager?' I asked.

She nodded her head.

'Then why did you tell me all of this?' I asked her.

'I mean.. you're our leader. Right?'

'I'll explain to them..'

I then left her. I don't know, it feels so sad, but I'm angry at the same time. Then why did she have to promise to the others if she knows she will break it? Her words, it's making my mood down. I entered our waiting room, it's still noisy.

'Taeyeon!! We are done packing ! Let's go home !' I could hear Sooyoung was screaming excitedly. We're not flying to Korea tonight but staying at our Japan's house.

'Every each of us are not allowed to sleep tonight. We're goin to party till dawn.' Sooyoung continued.

'I bet it's you who will sleep on the couch while the movie are still on.' Tiffany said .

'Aneyo! It's Jessica of course! Eh? Where's Sica?' Sooyoung asked while looking around the spacious room.

'She's not going..' I answered them.

'MWO!!?'

'Cmon only tonight.. We had planned everything. I'm not going out either.' Hyoyeon said.

'We're partying in our home.. Not anywhere else..' Sunny said.

'Yaa! It's been a while since we're all together in one place.' Sooyoung added with a face full of dissapointment.

'Krystal is in Japan. She needs to be with her sister.' I said to them.

'But it's...'

'It's not complete..' Yuri completed Sunny's words.

'Gwencana.. She's with Krystal.. We still got tons of times.. Later, she definitely will join us.' Tiffany said.

Thank you Fany.. For helping me answering them.

This is the only time we had. Does she know how much these girls miss her? Does she know how much I missed her? There's no way she will know.

It's been a while actually, since the last time I talked to her. We rarely talk like we used to. I remembered when all nine of us were still staying in our dorm, that was the best days that I ever had with these girls. Sleep together, eat together, having heart to heart conversations until late at night, everyone was busy chasing that one dream, everyone was still walking in one same path back in the days.

It's been years.. Of course everything will not remain the same forever. Time passes, things change, people change.. We've been taught by our agency to be profesional, to hide everything, to conceal it. So, it's only us, who know what is going on. You think they create 'Imdestructible' without any purpose? There is...

Indestructible.

Unbreakable.

We kept on using those words.. So do the fans.. Until, she left. How can I even look at my fans' faces? I don't even know how to console them, to calm them. I want to give each of them a hug, I really want to.

Jessica, an American girl that I doubt to be friend at first. Her looks, gave me shiver. Since small, she's that famous trainee whom everyone adores in our agency. She's the other part of me when it comes to singing. We practiced together a lot, we covered lots of songs. I just love, to have the opportunity, to sing with her. The harmony came out good.

We're more than close back in the days. She easily to cry and there's always me to wipe her tears, to hug her. She's very sensitive actually. She's good with everyone. She's a big hearted sisters to uri maknaes, she's that perfect American's BFF to Tiffany, she's Yuri's cooking partner although she's bad at it, she's there to laugh to Hyoyeon's silly jokes, she's also a nice roommate for Sooyoung.

And I thought, she's the bestest friend of mine..

It happens so fast. We dont want her to leave. We just want her to stay focus. But it's not that easy. She had made herself busy with lots of things until there's time she couldn't manage to do both in a perfect way. Yes I know some members felt kinda worry.

Jessica is always sick,

Jessica is always tired when she works a lot,

Jessica sometimes easy to catch a cold,

We knew all.. We're sisters. Yes we're sisters.. And that's why she came back that night. I opened the door and her figure is right in front of me.

'Sica.. I thought you're going..'

She smiled to me while taking of her boots.

'No I'm not going to Hongkong.'

'Wae?'

'I bought this! The red wine that you like.' she showed me.

Truthfully, I'm surprised and I couldn't hide my smile. Jessica is so sweet, as usual. She's cold at the outside but always a heartwarming person at the inside. Eventhough there's time that I felt I don't want to talk to her, but I can't.

I can't Sica.. I can't accept that you're leaving us.