Yoongi is bitter; he’s always bitter when it’s cold because who the hell could possibly enjoy weather that requires you to bundle up in another 2 inches of clothing just to go outside – not that he wanted to go outside but it was nice to have that option. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at his reflection. It didn’t look like him; this must have been someone else. Yoongi frowned at the person in the mirror; his face was bloated and he couldn’t even be bothered to cover up the dark circles under his eyes – he was a mess. The stranger pulled a thick coat over his long sleeved shirt and buttoned it up. He gave Yoongi a disgusted look before he turned away.

“That wasn’t you,” a voice whispered as Yoongi moved his lips in sync with the words. He knew it was his voice and he knew that was his face but it just didn’t feel like him. That voice was weaker and that face was empty. If it really was him – which he hoped it wasn’t – he had become a hallow shell. Yoongi opened his mouth and, as if he needed confirmation, he said “it was.”

The long scarf hanging over the foot of his bed caught his eye as he was leaving the room. Wrapping it around his neck, Yoongi walked out of the door and headed straight to work. Soft snow had piled in a thin layer on the sidewalk, growing higher as it slowly floated down to earth. Yoongi buried his bare hands in his coat pockets and continued down the street. Everything seemed quieter when it snowed; he liked that but he still hated the cold.

It was a relief to finally reach the company building. Warmth enveloped him completely. Yoongi headed up to the producing studio and, taking off the excess layers he had added earlier, the lights. Something red was setting on his desk; he put his coat and scarf on the back of a chair and went to see what it was. His brows furrowed; it was a Santa hat and underneath it was a note. He recognized the handwriting right away and read it.

“Yoongi hyung, I knew I’d get to work before you~ Have a good day. Produce a lot of songs for us. Hwaiting! I left a Santa hat for you to keep your head warm and to cheer you up because I know you get bitter when it’s cold. ㅋㅋㅋ I love you! I’m in the practice room if you need your Hope. From, J-Hohohobi”

Yoongi shook his head but a smile found its way to his lips. That kid was too much. He settled into his seat for a long day of work.

Hoseok had been practicing for two hours by the time Yoongi had read that note. Of course, he knew Yoongi wasn’t going to visit him but it was nice to imagine he would. He couldn’t get the thought out of his mind that maybe Yoongi would come in just as he was going to call it a day and offer to walk him home. They could hold hands and everything too because it was cold and Hoseok was always warm. It could happen; all he needed to do was hope. But lately Hoseok was finding it harder and harder to remain hopeful. It wasn’t easy to always smile because he knew he didn’t mean it half of the time anymore. Before he knew it, half the time would be a fourth, then an eighth, then a tenth, and so on until he never meant it. He didn’t know what would change that. Maybe if they won an award for their next comeback, maybe if he could rest enough to not have dark circles to cover up every morning, maybe if people would stop telling him he was useless, maybe if all the hard work he put into everything would pay off for once, he could keep going because he’d know it was worth it. Those thoughts consumed him lately. He knew better than that – he had wonderful fans, all of whom he adored – but his mind always went back to the negatives no matter how much he tried to be thankful. It wasn’t easy being hopeful. Somehow, he thought it was easier to be someone else’s hope than his own.

All of that began to slowly melt away as he danced. He could see it in the mirrors – hour after hour of practice wore him down until he was left looking at nothing but himself and even that seemed fake and unreal. In a sudden fit, he collapsed to his knees. How could he be so empty at the core? He stared angrily at his reflection; it had to be lying to him. This couldn’t be him. Hoseok stood up and walked to his bag. He took out a notepad with scratched out lines and began to write; he tried to pour out every thought from his mind and turn them into lyrics – to make them useful. The page filled up quickly. After a few more lines, he set the paper down and pulled out his phone. His eyes began to water.

The day had been much kinder to Yoongi. He felt the stress and exhaustion leave his body when he got to work. Often he would find himself losing track of time, as if it passed while he was frozen. That was how he liked it. Hours passed in the length of one and like that half of the new track was done. He smiled and adjusted his headphones over the red Santa hat.

When Yoongi had nearly finished the song, his eyes fell to the bottom of the screen; it was nearly 8p.m. That wasn’t late but he was sure the weather had only gotten worse since this morning. He pulled his phone out to check the weather but noticed a new voicemail; he had was a missed a call from Hoseok a few minutes ago. Yoongi removed his headphones and played it.

“Hyung, it’s your hope. I’m going to leave soon, so don’t come to see me. I’ll see you at home. Bye Yoongi hyung. Don’t forget, I’m your hope.”

Yoongi’s heart sunk; he could hear the sadness laced in Hoseok’s voice. Without a second thought, he saved his work, shut down the computer, grabbed his things, and ran straight to the practice room. There was no doubt in his mind, Hoseok had been crying when he called.

He barged into the room, startling Hoseok, who looked up to reveal his tear stained face. Yoongi shut the door and ran to his side, “Hoseok, what’s wrong?”

“I told you not to come.”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice that you were crying when you called me? I’m sorry I didn’t hear my phone go off. What’s wrong? Did you get hurt? Are you upset?” Yoongi checked Hoseok’s body before looking into his lightly reddened eyes.

“I’m fine. It’s nothing,” he sniffled.

“You’re lying to me,” Yoongi sighed and wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s neck, “it’s fine. You don’t have to tell me. I know how hard it’s been on you. I wish you’d stop thinking too much. You’re doing fine. We’re doing fine. So stop thinking. This is what you love, you told me so before. You are doing everything right, just stay hopeful. It’s worth it.”

“Hyung,” Hoseok started but Yoongi stopped him by taking off the Santa hat, putting it on Hoseok, and pulling it over his eyes. They started to laugh.

“I’m your hope now,” Yoongi smiled and hugged him tightly.

“You’re too short and angry to be anyone’s hope,” Hoseok laughed, pushing the hat above his eyes. Yoongi pulled back and punched him. He winced and laughed again before taking hold of Yoongi’s shoulders and pressing his lips firmly against Yoongi’s, “but you’re my sweetest Suga.”

“Let’s go home,” Yoongi turned away to hide his smile and blushing cheeks.

They both stood up and put on their coats. Yoongi sighed and wrapped his scarf around Hoseok’s neck. Hoseok hugged Yoongi from behind; a bright smile graced his lips – one that he couldn’t have faked if he wanted too.

“I’m your Hohohope,” Hoseok laughed, placing the hat back on Yoongi’s head. It was so much easier to be someone else’s hope than his own, but at least he had someone who made him smile.