II

It's weekend and like usual, I'm stucked at home doing my homework, helping my mom and dad, and watching tv. It's kinda bored since nobody would hang with me. I dont have anybody to ask out since I have problem with Chanyeol and in my life, it's only he and Jongin who I close to. Jongin? After we talk about us we become more like stranger. Maybe it's good. Yeah, good for me obviously to forget him. I hope so. I took my guitar and sat beside the window. I played some songs that me and him use to sang. 'No I shouldn't sang Love Day,' When I started to play and sing back, suddenly the cloud pour out it's tears. And the flashback of our last met flash in my mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izt6tTjYoa8 (listen while reading this. If you want)

I will forget you. Starting today,
I don’t know you. I have never seen you.
We never even walked pass eachother.
I’m okay. I forgot everything. I’m happy with my busy life.
I’ve met a great person too.

Love is always like this. It fades away after some time.
Can’t even remember it, Oh.

*~*

He pulled my hand until we reached at the park. We sat on the bench and awkward after that. Both of us keep silent before

"What do you wanna talk about? Now I'm here. So start it" it sounds like I'm mad but who cares?
"Why are you avoiding me?" we looks at each other before I turn away and sighed.
"Am I?"
"Yes you are. You didn't talk to me like we used to"
"Well I think I shouldn't since I don't want to mess your relationship. It is the one you wanna talk about? Okay then. I already said it so I will go now," I stood and ready to go away before his hand grasp my wrist.
"I'm not finished yet. Sit" his voice. Emotionless.
"You know. Since you left me alone-"
"You are not alone Jongin"
"Can you hear me first?!" now he looks mad and make me scared since he never show this side of him since we were friend. I felt weird since he looks down to his shoes. 'What is playing in his mind?'
"I felt something weird when I saw you be happy with Chanyeol. I don't know why. I feel like a pang at my heart. And not just that. I fell weird since you distant yourself from me. Am I do something wrong to you? Have I done something that you didn't like? Am I? I felt jealous when I think that Chanyeol already changed my place as your best friend. When I looked at you two, when you perfoming together, when I heard some comments said you guys look good together, I feel like I been stabbed. It's weird. I don't know why.Jun-"
"You should stop yourself from think this thing. It's small matter. Since you already knew that Chanyeol already replace your placed so why you're here? Begging for me to be the third person in your relay?"
"No. It's not like that. I didn't mean that. There something I couldn't understand in me. I love Yumi so much but at the same time I'm jealous when I saw you with Chanyeol. I hope you can fix this. Since my heart really hurt when you distant yourself from me."

'What the hell he's thinking right now? Are you going to hurt me, Jongin?'

"What you wanna me to do? Stay away from Chanyeol?" I tried to sound calm.
"I don't know. But it's not what I mean. It just too weird why I'm feeling this. Why you stay away from me?"
"I think I should go home now. Excuse me," I tried my best to hold this stupid tears when I with him but it just too hurt that I couldn't hold anymore. I hope he took my excuse but when I stood up, he hold tightly both my shoulder and turn me to face him. Crap. Unfortunately, my tears drop when I faced him.

"Tell me why, Jun. I wanted to know so I can fix it. Our friendship would never be ruin," he shook my shoulder many times. What did he want? Did all the pain he gave me didn't enough? He cupped my cheek and wipe the tears. When he saw I kept silent he hug me
"Please tell me, Jun. Why are you crying? Why you stay away from me?"

Being hugged from the one you love is the best moment in life but the fact is it's hurt me most cause the one I loved never love me back. It's suddenly rain like understood what I feeling right now. I pushed him away from me and he looks shocked by what I've done. 

"You can't understand it, Jongin,"
"Just tell me!" he shouted and make me shocked. He hold my shoulder tightly. I couldn't take this anymore. Maybe this is the best time I told him.
"I... I like you Jongin. Or maybe love you. I don't know. It's hurt me when you told me you date her. It's hurt me when watching you two be sweetly in front of me. I... I ha..ve tried to forget you but I can't. You never know what happen to me. I stay away from you so I can forget you. You keep hurting me. You're too oblivious to see I'm hurting. You're to blind to see how I act around you. Jongin, why you never see the girl in front of you who always be with you, love you? I tried to confess through the song we sang together. Don't you get the meaning? Why are you too cruel to me? Why Jongin why?!!" I keep hitting his chest and the tears become more and more.
"Junhee-ah, I ne-" he looks shocked by my confession and he looks... speechless.
"No I don't hate you. It's okay Jongin. I understand. I will tried my best to forget you and keep stay away from you. I will do as long as you happy with Yumi. I will stay away from Chanyeol if that make you not hurt. Now you need to focus on your girl. Make her happy like you did to me once ago. Don't bother with me. I will be okay and always be. I'm sorry cause confess in this time. Please forget what I've said earlier. You should go back now or you will catch a cold. Take care of yourself." I pushed him away and ran to my house. I never turn back as I know he still stood at the spot we got just now.

Before I reached my house, I stumble and pour out the tears I keep hold on. Many things interrupt my mind and one of it Chanyeol. Could I stay away from him? Should I tell him? After that incident, I keep what I've told Jongin. I stay away from those two. Maybe after this I would be alone. I just have them and my other classmate is just so so with me. At night, Chanyeol called me many times since I didn't answer any of it. I keep ignored his call and messages and I couldnt hold my tears since in this case there's not only me who're hurting. It's also Chanyeol.

'I'm sorry, Yeol'

*~*

When love goes away, another love comes again. It definitely will.
Even if it hurts now, it will hear a little later.
It will forget. I will too.

There something outside that caught my eyes. Besides the rain, the a pair of couple run together without they conscious there a pair of eyes watching them run under the rain. They suddenly stop and their lips suddenly touched each other. After the short kiss, they continue to run and passed by in front of my house. Under my conscious, the tears stream down fastly from my eyes. 'Again. Damn. When will you stop this?'