A/N It's been far too long. This was meant to be a Valentine's chapter, but between being sick, writer's block, and my idiotic work schedule, I'm just posting it now. I believe this will be the last chapter for this fic. I adore these two, and the KeyChul Alarm, but the joke is wearing thin, and I've run out of things, for this one at least. Have no fear, KeyChul will be back in future fics. I will not abandon my two favorite cross-dressers so easily. KE

  Key was nervously pacing back and forth, trying not to bite his nails or pick his cuticles. He was finally going to get an uninterrupted weekend with his boyfriend Heechul, who had practically told him they were going to be doing more than cuddling. He really wanted to spoil his princess, but he was afraid the roses and candles he'd filled the hotel room were too cheesy and cliched, but he loved the idea of his boyfriend surrounded by beauty. He had brought other things as well. He wasn't counting on anything, but he'd brought bath salts for the Jacuzzi tub, warming massage oil, another warming product, just in case. For all he knew, they were going to end up on the couch all weekend, eating junkfood and watching cartoons. He didn't care. He just wanted some time with just him and Heechul, without the drama from their respective groups, and especially no KeyChul Alarm. Key loved his maknae dearly, but was afraid he was going to drown the boy if he interrupted one more time.

  Finally, there was a knock on the door. Key smiled as he saw his boyfriend, who was dressed rather simply in black slacks and button down, bag slung carelessly over his shoulder. Heechul smiled and opened his arms to the younger man, who all but flung himself into the hug with the older.

  "You look great Sun, I mean Heechul. I can't believe a whole weekend just the two of us, and I'm the one who set it up!" Key snuggled into his boyfriend's arms.

  "Believe it Kibum Darling! A whole weekend with fabulous me!"

  Key laughed and led Heechul over to the couch. Taking his bag, he set it on the bed, then sat next to his boyfriend, gently pulling the older man's head onto his shoulder and lacing their fingers together. Heechul buried his face in Key's neck, gently kissing it before moving enough to capture the younger man's lips with his own. They kissed for quite some time, only breaking apart when they finally needed to breathe, Key grinned. "If I didn't know better Princess, I'd say you were trying to seduce me."

  "So, is it working?" Heechul asked.

  Instead of answering, Key shifted them so Heechul was lying on his back on the couch, the younger man hovering over him. Key ground his crotch against his boyfriend's, causing them both to groan. "What do you think Princess?"

 "I think we need more making out and fewer clothes Darling," Heechul said, pulling Key's shirt over his head with a smirk.

  Lots of teasing, kisses, and caresses later and they were down to their underwear and had managed to make it to the bed, somehow remembering to move Heechul's bag to the floor. Key was about to finish stripping them and ask his boyfriend how far he really wanted to go, when there was a knock on the door. They both groaned.

  "Maybe they'll just go away" Heechul murmured in Key's ear before he started on the younger's piercings. Things were just heating up again with the knock came again, louder this time. Key growled and sat up.

  "I'll just see what they want so they'll leave. I'll make sure the Do Not Disturb sign get put on the door this time as well." He pulled on a robe and stomped over to the door, flinging it open and glaring.

  "So sorry to bother you. Do you have an ice bucket we could... Hyung! What are you doing here?" The very familiar and extremely unwelcome voice and figure of the KeyChul Alarm greeted Key.

  "Why the hell are you here maknae?" If looks could kill, Taemin would be a smoldering pile of ashes.

  "Taking advantage of the free weekend with Minho of course." Taemin smirked. "We broke the ice bucket, so can we borrow yours? Why are you here, and where's Sunbae?"

  Heechul appeared then in his own robe, ice bucket in hand. He shoved it into Taemin's hands, hung the Do Not Disturb sign on doorknob, and slammed the door in the unwelcome KeyChul Alarm and 's face. He tugged Key back over to the bed by his bathrobe belt, stripped them both and shoved his boyfriend onto his back.

  "Roll over Darling" Heechul purred. "I was poking around in the drawers and found the massage oil. Let my hands work their magic." Key rolled over as requested, sighing as boyfriend drizzled oil on his back and started working on knots he didn't know he had. 

  One very contented, and aroused, Key later, and Heechul found himself getting the same treatment. "Mmm, love your hands Kibum" he sighed, stretching. Key pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's shoulder.

  "Roll over so I can do the other side" he whispered in Heechul's ear.

  Heechul did as requested, arousal rather noticeable under his red briefs. Key continued to work, shifting so his own didn't hurt quite so much. "Kibum" The older purred his boyfriend's name. "This is nice and all, but I noticed masage oil wasn't the only thing you brought. Isn't it time to see how loud you really can make me scream your name?"

Several rounds, and some sleep later

  "Ah, this is nice. I may actually be able to walk without limping again. Who knew the Almighty Key had a Weapon of Mass Seduction hidden in his pants?" Heechul grinned, pressing a kiss to Key's hair as they cuddled in the Jacuzzi tub. They'd finally worn themselves out sometime in the middle of the night and had fallen asleep in a tangle of limbs. We they finally woke up it was near noon. As first they had just enjoyed sleepy snuggles together, til reality had taken over and they realized how sticky and gross and hungry they were, and how sore Heechul's back and bottom were. Key had dug out the painkillers he'd brought just in case, and suggested they take a bath together before going to find food.

  "I wanted to take things slow and easy our first night together, but no, someone kept yelling Harder Kibum! Faster! and who am I to deny my Princess, who by the way isn't exactly lacking in the package department himself. Where do you hide that thing when you're in those skintight dresses?" Key was gently massaging Heechul's back, who stretched like a contented cat.

  "I could've brought the things in my bag out, but I wasn't sure if I'd scare you Darling." Heechul smirked. "And I'm not going to ruin the illusion by telling you where I hide Junior."

  "More like Jumbo, and who knew my princess was so ?" Key wiggled his eyebrows. "I'd like to find out myself later."

  "You know who I feel sorry for Darling? Housekeeping when they come to change the sheets like we requested."

  "It'll be worse in 2min's room. Taemin has this thing for turning Minho into a sundae. Of all the hotels, why did they have to end up at this one?"

  "Same reason we did. Gay friendly and extremely discreet. The staff probably thought it was a Shinee getaway when they saw both you and Taemin's names down for reservations."

  "Quit being reasonable. Damn maknae turns up everywhere."

  "Hey, at least he didn't ruin the mood last night." Heechul murmured, nuzzling into Key's neck.

  Three hours, and a traumatized cleaning lady later, they finally made it down to the dining room. Heechul whispered into Key's ear. "If I get pregnant from this, are you going to make an honest woman of me?"

  Key giggled. "I promise my princess, if the impossible happens and there's a baby KeyChul I will get down on one knee, then whisk you off to New York, all the time reminding you you started it."

  "Details details" Heechul dismissed Key's last words with a wave of his hand as they were shown to their seats. 

  "Baby?" The pair groaned as their alarm and his faithful Frog's voices were heard behind them.

  "It was a joke maknae. Now go away and catch flies or something to feed Minho. You probably rode him hard and put him up wet last night. He looks hungry and exhausted." Key wasn't exactly in the mood to deal with 2min. He wanted to enjoy his time with his boyfriend, alone.

  "Well! It's not like Sunbae looks any better. I noticed his duck waddle coming in here. Wonder what Leeteuk Sunbae will have to say about that." Taemin left in a huff, dragging Minho with him.

  "Jinki Hyung's going to read me the riot act when he hears about this one. The brat has a point about Leeteuk Sunbae though. On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble will you be in if you come back walking like that?"

  "A hundred and two, but ask me if I care. I've got the really strong painkillers for that. I fully intend on taking advantage of this weekend, and enjoy you taking advantage of me every chance we get." Heechul grinned and picked up his menu.

  "A addict. I'm dating a addict." Key grumped, not really serious. Heechul just laughed.

  A/N Well, that's it boys and girls. It's been fun.