“Ryeowook?”  Kangin’s eyebrows rose.  “Who’s this Ryeowook we’re talking about?”

“Kim Ryeowook.  Kim Ryeowook,” I said as I wiped my nose again.  “Kim Ryeowook.  He’s here in the hospital.”

“Here?  Where is he?”

“He’s in the general--”  Then I stopped, remembering that Ryeowook had been moved out of our ward.  Had Sunny ever mentioned where he had been moved?  I racked my brain for a specific floor, but I couldn’t remember anything.  I glared at the ground angrily.

“Is Kim Ryeowook a nurse?  A staff member?”

“No!”  My reply came out louder and meaner-sounding than I had intended, but Kangin didn’t flinch.

“Then is he a patient?  Someone you were close to back in your old ward?”  I nodded and Kangin his chin thoughtfully.

“Do you know him?  Is he one of your patients?  Can you please let the two of us meet?  We got off on--”

“Hey, one question at a time.  Don’t worry, Sungmin-ssi, I have plenty of time to answer everything you want to ask me.  Alright?”  I mumbled an apology and Kangin continued.  “The name Kim Ryeowook does sound familiar.  No, he’s not one of my patients, but I think I’ve heard Yesung mention the name before, or at least something that sounds similar.  Yesung is one of my fellow colleagues.  He works in the recovery ward.”

“The recovery ward?”  With people recovering from what, exactly?  “Can you please talk to Yesung and get him to bring Ryeowook here?  Please?”  My tears were beginning to slow as my hopes began to rise.

“Hold up, you see--”

“Why can’t I meet Ryeowook?  Please, you don’t understand, I need to see Ryeowook.  It’s really, really important that I see him right now.”

“May I ask why you insist on seeing him?  No, I don’t understand why you’re suddenly bringing up Ryeowook when I’ve never even heard you mention his name these past few days, but I’d like to understand the reason why you think he can help you in ways that I can’t.”

“Because none of you really understand what this is all like.  You’re all just fake, and you’re only psychiatrists, not our friends.  Ryeowook’s my friend, and he can help me in ways that you can’t.”  Wasn’t it obvious?

Kangin opened his mouth to say something, but ended up closing it.

“I understand that friends may be able to help in ways that psychiatrists cannot, and I understand that in some cases, it’s not always possible for doctors and their patients to develop friendships.  But may I ask why you think that we’re fake?  What is it about us that makes it seem like we don’t care about all of you?”  Kangin’s voice was slow and steady and always, and something about his tone and the way he was handling everything so calmly was starting to push me over the edge.

I thought hard to pinpoint one specific thing that Kangin did that was annoying to me, but I was too frustrated and gave up.  I mopped up the last of my tear tracks with my sleeve.

“Everything.  I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Everything?”  Kangin repeated.  He was silent for a minute.  “Alright.  Okay, then.  Is there anything that I or anyone else on staff can do to change that?”

“No.  I want to talk to Ryeowook, not you or anyone else.”

Kangin stared at me for a moment.  He opened and closed his mouth again before taking off his glasses to wipe them.

“His name is Kim Ryeowook, you say?”  He said at last.  I nodded again.  “I know for certain that he’s not one of my patients, and I’m also certain he’s not in this ward.  One of the hospital rules is that patients may not meet with or interact with any patients outside of their respective wards.  Our patients are divided into separate wards for good reasons, Sungmin-ssi, safety concerns being one of them.”

This was one of reasons I didn’t want to talk to Kangin.  I wanted to cry out of frustration because I was so misunderstood.  For once in their lives, why couldn’t they do something that would actually help me?

“Why do all of you have to act like I’m a ing time bomb or something?!”  I yelled before I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to yell or swear.  I lowered my voice, but I wasn’t any less angry.  “How many times do I have to tell all of you that I’m not violent or dangerous?  Why do all of you think I’m such a terrible person?  What have I ever done to you to deserve this type of treatment?  I’m not insane, I swear.  I’m not insane, but all of you seem to think I deserve to be locked up with the rest of the psychopaths in this ward.”

For the first time since I had met him, I saw irritation pass over Kangin’s face.  His hand twitched and a muscle in his jaw tensed up, but he didn’t open his mouth to say anything.  He only closed his eyes and breathed out long and slow.

“I’ll talk to Yesung during lunch and see what I can do,” he said after he opened his eyes again.  “I’ll let you know what he and the staff say later this afternoon.”

“Okay.”

“You’re welcome.”  Kangin walked away without another word, but as he headed down the hallway, I heard him sigh once more.

I was surprised when I heard the knock on the door.  There was still half an hour until I was supposed to be served lunch, but Kangin was back already, much earlier than I had expected.

“What did Yesung say?”  I asked eagerly, almost jumping off the bed as I rushed up to him.

“I haven’t talked to Yesung yet.”

“Why?”  I demanded.  “Were you talking to the rest of the staff?  What did they say?”

“Sit down, Sungmin-ssi.”  Kangin motioned towards the bed and I reluctantly backed away from him.  He pulled up a chair and sat in front of me, clasping his hands together and putting them in his lap.

“So what did they say?  Yes or no?”

“I wasn’t talking to the rest of the staff either, Sungmin-ssi.  I was talking to Ryeowook-ssi.”  He held up his hands before I had a chance to in again.  “I went to Yesung’s office to see if I could find him, but he wasn’t there.  But there was a boy about your age in there-- dark brown hair, skinny, bit of a hollow look to his face.  I asked him where I could find Yesung, and he told me that Yesung had been called to another ward for an emergency.  I also asked for his name, and as you can probably guess, that boy was Ryeowook-ssi.”

From the physical description, that certainly sounded like him.

“I decided to go ahead and ask him about you because even if Yesung and the rest of the staff agreed, whether or not the two of you can meet depends on whether or not both sides agree on it.  He was in the ER for about a day, and then he got moved to the recovery ward.  In fact, he was moved there the night you were admitted to the violent ward.  Seeing as he’s been in the recovery ward this whole time and no one in that ward was present when you assaulted Intern Chou and Intern Kim, he hasn’t been very up-to-date with what happened to you.  He was very shocked and upset when I told him about the incident.”

“What?”  My mouth dropped open and my stomach churned in fear.  “Why would you tell him about that?”

“Well, I told him that you were very distressed this morning and that you wanted to see him.  Ryeowook-ssi asked me why you would need to talk to him when you had other people in the ward you could talk to, and I had to explain that you were no longer residing in the general psych ward.  He asked why, and naturally, I told him why you were moved to the violent ward.”

“But why would you tell him that I assaulted Tzuyu and Yeri?”  Kangin gave me a confused look.

“Well, that was the reason why you were moved to the violent ward, weren’t you?”

“But that was--” I started before shaking my head.  “Never mind.  What did he say?”

“He refuses to see you.”

Now that certainly didn’t sound like him.

“What?”  My stomach churned harder.  “Why wouldn't he?”

“As I said before, he was very shocked and upset,” Kangin said quietly.  “He doesn’t want to see you.  Therefore, I saw no need to go to Yesung or the staff.”

“But I have to see Ryeowook,” I protested.  “Whatever happens, I absolutely need to see Ryeowook.  Please.”

“Sungmin-ssi, he already--”

“No!”  I screamed, bolting up from the bed and getting to my feet, accidentally knocking over Kangin’s chair in the process.  Kangin teetered for a moment before both he and the chair tipped over.  He winced as he picked himself off the floor.

“Ryeowook-ssi said--”

“I HAVE TO SEE RYEOWOOK!”  I hollered at the top of my lungs.

“Okay, okay.  Stop right there.  Breathe in, then breathe out.”

“I have to--”

“Sungmin-ssi,” Kangin said sternly.  “I understand.  But first, you need to breathe in, and then breathe out.”  I did as he asked, and when my chest had stopped heaving, Kangin made me sit back down before speaking again.

“There’s no need to yell in order for us to communicate clearly.  Can you please tell me why you need to see Ryeowook so badly?”

“Because he’s the only one who really understands me.  He’s the only one who can help me.  You said yourself that you understood how friends can be of more help than psychiatrists.  Please, I need to see Ryeowook.  I don’t care what it takes for him to get down here, I have to see Ryeowook.”

“Sungmin-ssi, would you like some lunch right now?”

I did a double take.

“What?”

“We’re serving hamburgers today.  I’m technically not allowed to do this, but it was Kibum’s turn to get brunch for the staff, and he brought some pumpkin muffins for all of us.  There might be some extras in the break room.  Would you like one?”

“What the does that have to do with anything?”  I narrowed my eyes and Kangin frowned back before shrugging.

“Nothing, really.  I just thought you might feel a little better if you had some food in your stomach.  And I know you like pumpkin desserts.  You told me a few days back when we were discussing things that made you happy, remember?”

“It would make me happy if I could talk to Ryeowook.”  I broke eye contact and stared down at my folded hands.  Kangin was silent for a minute before he got up and left, muttering something about how Suzy would be bringing my meal in shortly.

I was lying on my bed and lethargically staring off into space when a man with dark red hair came in later that afternoon.

“Hello, Sungmin-ssi,” he said pleasantly.  “My name is Yesung.  I’m sure your psychiatrist, Kangin, has already mentioned me, is that correct?”

“Did Ryeowook say yes?”  I sat upright and looked at him expectantly.

“I take it that Kangin’s already told you everything.”  Yesung’s mouth turned up at a corner, but the grin vanished as soon as it appeared.  “But no, unfortunately, that’s not quite true.  I would like you to come with me.”

I stood there blankly for a few seconds before my feet automatically moved towards Yesung’s retreating figure.  Together, the two of us headed down the hallway, out of the violent ward, and towards the elevators.

“Where are we going?”

Yesung didn’t directly answer my question.

“To tell you the truth, I haven’t even mentioned this situation to Ryeowook.  Kangin told me that he was visibly upset after he told him about you wanting to see him, and I thought it would be better if I gave him a few hours to mull over the request.  Maybe he’ll change his mind, maybe he won’t.  Ryeowook-ssi’s a very strong-willed person, and I’m not sure if he can be swayed.  I’ve only known him for a couple of days, but during that time, I’ve learned much about him, including the fact that friendship is something he values greatly.  It’s possible that he could change his mind.  If he does, I’d like you to be there so that the two of you can talk immediately.”

Thank the gods.  That meant I still had a chance.

“Thank you,” I said quietly as the two of us stepped into the elevator and went up.

“You should be thanking Kangin for keeping at it.  He was the one who insisted that I personally take you to Ryeowook-ssi to try to convince him one more time.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t know what happened between you and Ryeowook-ssi, but Kangin was pretty persistent.  I hope things work out,” Yesung said in a sympathetic voice.  I turned to look at him as we walked out the elevator, and he sent me a small smile, his eyes crinkling up at the corners.

There was no one out and about in the recovery ward, but something in the air was different-- the place seemed more friendly and welcoming than the violent ward.  The late afternoon sunlight poured into the hallway from windows, some of which were partially covered by pale blue curtains.  I knew it had nothing to do with the fact that the recovery ward was located higher up than the others, but the air seemed fresher up here too.  In terms of physical appearance, it seemed more or less similar to the general psych ward.  There was a colorful mural on one wall that depicted a merry ocean scene.  I stared at it as we walked past.

Yesung stopped in front of one of the doors and beckoned me to come closer.

“I’m going to talk to him, and we’ll see what happens,” he said in a low voice.  “Wait out here, and don’t come in unless I tell you to.”

I nodded in agreement and moved a few steps away from the door.  Yesung straightened the lapels of his doctor’s coat before knocking on the door and entering.

“Oh, hey there, Donghae-ssi.  I’d like to talk to Ryeowook in private for a little while, if that’s alright with you.”

“Now?  Where do you want me to go, then?”  I heard from the inside of the room.

“Why don’t you take Hyukjae with you and see if you can find Henry?  I last saw him in the common room.”

There was a creak as I heard Donghae slide off the bed and onto the floor.  A few moments later, a boy with a long face and a long nose walked out.

“See you later, Ryeowook!”  He said, waving through the open doorway.  I couldn’t see anything, but my heart rate sped up as I heard Ryeowook reply with a casual goodbye.  Well, he didn’t sound too upset or anything.  Donghae closed the door behind him and gave me a strange look when he noticed me standing there.  He glanced at me, then at the door, then back at me before continuing on his way.

“Come on, Hyukkie,” I heard.  “Let’s go find Henry hyung.”  I looked around for a second before I noticed that Donghae was clutching a brown stuffed monkey in his hand and swinging it happily.

The rooms were soundproof, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hear any of their conversation even if I tried.  Instead, I paced back and forth in the hallway, growing more and more anxious and afraid by the minute.  I walked from one end of the entire ward to the other in an attempt to calm myself and my breathing.  Just because they’re taking a while doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong.

I had already walked up and down the ward ten times before I couldn’t take it anymore.  Carefully, I inched closer to the door and pressed my ear up against it.  I didn’t want to go against what Yesung had told me and eavesdrop on them, but--

“NO!  HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, NO!”  Ryeowook’s scream caused me to jerk back in surprise.  Apparently the rooms weren’t as soundproof as I thought they were.

“Ryeowook-ssi,” I heard Yesung say softly.  I pressed my ear to the door again, straining to hear.

“No means no, Yesung.  You know that I have my limits.”  Ryeowook’s voice wasn’t nearly as loud as it had been before, but he sounded just as agitated.

“Sungmin-ssi seems like he really needs to see you.  Would it hurt to talk to him for a little while?  I think talking things out between the two of you would really help you both.”

“He doesn’t need me and I don’t want to see him anyways.”  The coldness in Ryeowook’s tone made me flinch.

“He seems like he really does.”  The room was silent for a long time before Yesung spoke again, so quietly that I could just barely hear him through the door.

“Ryeowook, you know you can talk to me about anything you want, right?  I promise that everything we talk about that’s related to this situation will be between us.  You don’t have to tell me what happened between you and Sungmin-ssi, but I may be able to give you advice if you tell me more about the issue.”

“I know.  You know I would tell you if I needed to talk.”  Ryeowook let out a long sigh.  “It’s just-- it’s just that--” he faltered and then stopped.

“What is it?”  Yesung’s husky voice was soft.  “I’m willing to listen to anything you have to say.”

“I--”  Ryeowook stopped again.  There was a long silence.  “We--”  An even longer silence passed.

“Yeah?”

“ it, just send him in.  It takes too much effort to explain this all to you, and I don’t feel like spending my time explaining everything.”

“You don’t have to talk to him if you’re not comfortable with it, Ryeowook.  If you want, I can tell him to come back later once you’ve--”

“Yesung, I said to just send him in.”  A rush of emotion came over me.  Ryeowook sounded tired, defeated even, but at least he was willing to see me.  He was going to give me a chance, and I was beyond relieved that he had changed his mind.

I almost forgot to back away from the door as Yesung opened it again.  He held open the door for me and motioned his head inside.

“Call me if you need anything.  That goes for both of you,” he said before walking away, the door closing behind him with a small thud.

Ryeowook’s room was nice, much nicer than mine.  It seemed less foreign-- he had most of his belongings with him and some of his clothes and books were scattered around the room.  There was artwork on the walls and a vase of flowers on the dresser.  The room itself felt comfortable and warm.

Quite the opposite of Ryeowook’s facial expression.  Despite that, he was looking better than before.  I drank in his seated figure and noted that his face was a little rounder and that his cheekbones weren’t jutting out as much as they had been the last time I had seen him.  There was a little bit of color to his face and while he was still skinny as a pole, he looked healthier.

What was unsettling was that I had never seen him look so blank.

“Well?  What happened that was so bad that you felt the need to talk to me?”  He said coolly.  His eyes were completely expressionless, and he sat there on the bed, staring up at me without moving a muscle.

I was at a loss of words even though I had previously already thought about what I wanted to say to him.

“Hello?”  He asked when I didn’t respond.  “Did you hear me?”

“I…” I finally managed to say.  “I was having problems in the violent ward and I didn’t have anyone to talk to when I needed help.”

“The violent ward?”  Ryeowook’s eyebrows shot up.  “Wow, the violent ward.  Whatever landed you there in the first place?  Weren’t you in the general psych ward with the others the last time I saw you?”  His voice was icier than ever.  It was the strength out of me, and I found myself unable to speak for another few seconds.

“They moved me to the violent ward after you left.”

“Did they really?”  Ryeowook lifted himself off the bed and walked towards me.  There was still a heavy limp to his step and I winced as I watched him approach me.  I wanted to take a step back, but found that I couldn’t move.  “How interesting.  I wonder what made them do that.”

He stared at me and waited for me to say something, but I never did.  He was less than two feet away from me but I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eye.

“I do wonder what made them feel the need to move you to the violent ward.”  He placed heavy emphasis on the last two words.  “Oh, I don’t know, maybe it was the fact that you punched Sunny in the face, gave Yeri a concussion, and STRANGLED TZUYU AND TOLD HER YOU WERE GOING TO KILL HER!”

Ryeowook was yelling so loudly and so close to my face that I thought I was going to go deaf.  I tried to back away, but my body was already pressed up against the wall.

“B-but--”

“WHAT THE WERE YOU THINKING, LEE SUNGMIN!”  He screeched louder than I thought he was capable of screeching.  His eyes were blazing with an even brighter white fire and spittle was flying from his mouth  “WHAT THE WERE YOU THINKING?!”

I was too scared to move.

“Well?”  He glowered when I didn’t respond.  “Why don’t you tell me exactly why you felt the need to attack the three of them the way you did?”

“I-- I-- they-- T-t-tzuyu and Y-yeri were the ones who g-gave you the wrong m-m-edication that m-m-made you relapse.  S-sunny didn’t catch the mistake u-until much l-later.  They were the o-ones who weren’t acting r-responsibly and--”

“AND I SUPPOSE LANDING YOURSELF IN THE VIOLENT WARD WAS ACTING RESPONSIBLY, AM I RIGHT?!  I SUPPOSE LANDING YOURSELF IN A LOAD OF TROUBLE AND THEN COMPLAINING ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS AS IF IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE’S FAULT WAS ACTING RESPONSIBLY AS WELL!”  Ryeowook shouted in my face.

“But it w-wasn’t my fault,” I said desperately.  “I’m not supposed to be in there, I’m not violent or d-dangerous or--”

“I would slap you in the face, but hitting you as punishment for injuring someone else would be incredibly hypocritical of me.”

Before I had the time to fully process his words, he slapped me so hard that one side of my face hit the wall behind me.  Now both sides of my face were burning up like never before.

“What was that for?!”  I yelled, my face throbbing and my vision spotty.  I touched the part he had hit and hissed in pain.  There was certain to be a large bruise there the next day, if there wasn’t one already.  “You just said it would hypocritical of you to ing slap me.”

“As punishment for injuring someone else,” he said furiously.  “I’m not punishing you for injuring someone else.  I slapped you as punishment for being so… so...“

“But Ryeowook, you don’t even understand.  I only went after them because of what they did to you.  They did all of this to you.”  I gestured around the room, one hand still on my face.

“What they did to me?!”  Ryeowook’s face was turning redder with rage.  “What did you just say?”

“Because of the staff’s mistakes, you ended up here in this hellhole.  Don’t you see that this is a result of their ignorance and stupidity?!  They’re the reason you’re like this, this entire hospital is the reason why you’re like this.  Don’t you--”

“You--”  Ryeowook’s expression suddenly changed from rage to one of horror.  “Lee Sungmin, you little-- you brainless, stupid little-- do-- do you not--”

Something strange was happening.  Ryeowook sounded more frustrated by the second and his face was now purple.  His eyes looked as if they were going burn away the rest of his skull.  But his voice was catching in his throat more frequently and his speech was slowing down.

And then he was dropping to his knees, crying so hard that he seemed like his frail body was going to crumble to pieces.

“Oh my God, Sungmin,” he said in a voice so choked with emotion that it difficult for me to continue listening to him.  “What happened to you?”

“W-what do you mean?”  I asked.  I chewed on my lip nervously and knelt down next to him.  Why was Ryeowook breaking down like this?  Was it something I said just now?  Something I did?

“You weren’t like this when I first met you.  Yes, you were sometimes n-naive and ignorant, and a lot of the time, you didn’t know what t-to do when I needed help.  I know that I shouldn’t be talking because I used to be like you, but-- but it’s so s-scary seeing you like this.  It’s just so unlike you.  Something h-happened to you during these past f-few weeks, b-but I don’t know what it is.  Why didn’t I notice before?  What changed?  You were never selfish like this-- this self-centered, and-- and-- c-careless and reckless, and--”

I had started to cry with him.  Seeing him so upset had triggered something in me.  Whatever happened to him, whatever the nurses and psychiatrists had done to him, it was killing him inside.  He didn’t deserve to suffer through that.  He deserved someone who would really help him.  I wanted to be that person and help him.  Seeing him so upset and not being able to do anything about it was killing me.

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”  I asked meekly, trying not to let Ryeowook see that I was crying too.  “Please don’t cry.  I promise that things will get better.  I’ll make sure that none of the others hurt you anymore, and I promise that I’ll be more considerate of your feelings from now on too.  I won’t be so self-centered and careless and reckless anymore and I’ll try my best to make sure that you know that I care about your problems too.”

“No, it’s not that, y-y-ou-- you’ve gotten worse.  You don’t even know what‘s so wrong!”  Ryeowook burst out, lifting his face from his hands and looking at me with those large, tear-filled orbs.  “Oh my God, Sungmin-- Sungmin, what--”

His tearful face was so unnerving that I was now crying just as hard as he was.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.  Ryeowook, I’m so sorry, please forgive me.  I promise I’ll do everything you ask me to do from now on.  I know what I did wrong, just let me fix things.  I can fix things and I can stop doing everything that annoys you.  I’ll try to control myself and I promise I won’t do anything that will make me end up in the violent ward.  I’ll get out of there as soon as I can.  I’ll figure out a way to help you, please believe me.  Ryeowook--”

My words were cut off because Ryeowook had lunged forward and thrown his arms around me as tightly as he could.  He was bawling, saying my name over and over and choking out indiscernible words in between.

“I’m so sorry.  Ryeowook, I’m really, really sorry for making you cry.  I won’t make you cry anymore, I promise I’ll try my best not to make you cry again.  Please stop crying.  Please?  Ryeowook?  Please don’t cry.”

Ryeowook showed no sign that he had heard me.  He was a complete mess of snot and tears-- whatever had caused him to start crying, it had pushed him too far.  The two of us remained seated on the ground.  In time, I stopped crying and just held Ryeowook against my chest as he continue with no sign of stopping.  He only hugged me tighter than ever, continuing to wail out my name as if his life depended on it.

Hi my readers/subscribers ^^

Still technically on hiatus (won't be online very often during the next month or so because I need to study for finals and other things) but I couldn't resist doing another update... that... I lowkey messed up on ._. honestly I feel like all my updates could be so much better but I just don't spend the time to make it better and I'm always in such a hurry to publish the chapters.  But anyways, this chapter is a very important one because it's the first time that I've clearly acknowledged that there's something wrong with Sungmin, but he doesn't realize it and Ryeowook doesn't know what to do about it.  I've been hinting at it pretty strongly but it's pretty obvious now that for whatever reason, something has gone wrong and Sungmin's way of thinking, which was already pretty twisted before, is even more so.  Any thoughts?

After all, this is the second to last chapter... I had a few more things I wanted to include in this chapter, but I've decided to push all of them back until the last chapter LOL O.o otherwise there would be way too much information in this chapter.  There will arguably be a lot of information in the next/last chapter as well, but I think I'll be able to manage.  There's no telling when the next update will be ._. but I'll try to have it up sometime within the next month or so?

More than ever, comments are hugely appreciated right now because I really, really want to know what all of you think about this chapter, and what you think will happen in the last chapter.  Any predictions about the ending?  

Thank you for reading, please comment, subscribe, and upvote if you haven't already, and have a lovely day everyone ^^