Luhan POV

Four days passed by again. Already a week was gone but Oh Sehun wasn’t at home yet. The most of the money he already expended for drugs. But it didn’t matter how much he took drugs – Forgetting Sehun? I couldn’t forget him.

Author POV

Sometimes Sehun spent the night at friends and when nobody had a bed free, he slept on the street or park benches. And always when he stayed wake he passed the apartment. But he didn’t overcome to visit. But he wanted to go to his Luhan to feel his closeness and warmth. He wanted to be happy and said to himself:

“Today… the 9^th day…in the night to the 10^th… I want to go to him, cost it what it will.” Tears rolled his cheek down and he looked into the heaven and laughed. Because he is happy. And this time not because of the drugs. He just needed only one drug – Luhan.

It wasn’t different at Luhan. He needs Sehun. He was the essential to alive. Luhan looked into the mirror and didn’t recognize himself. Greasy, matted hair, thick dark circles, pale skin and expressionless red eyes.

Again he took the bottles of vodka and drunk a few sips. For a short moment his inner got warm and he loves this warmth.

The longer he stayed away, the worse it got. At first it was just shots and then it changed into cups and now he drunk it by bottles. Half conscious, he staggered back into the kitchen. At the way he held himself on the wall. As always, he sat down on a chair and drank. And he drank and drank…

“He won’t come back.” This was his only mind. How he went me… he wasn’t that long so far away from me. Luhan was sure that Sehun didn’t love him anymore and will never come back.

But he was the only one he had. And now… he had nothing anymore. No reason to laugh, nothing he could be happy about. NOTHING!

Sehun POV

“Suho, please throw it away.” I said tortured and put him my drugs into his hand.

“Yes, I will.” said the opposing me, patting me on the shoulder. “You’ll do the right.”

“Thanks that I could clean me up here, hyung.”

“No problem.” He returned.

“I’ll go now.” I smiled at him and waved. Then I passed the door. Now I pushed along the way to a store to buy some flowers for Luhan. Japanese lilies – his favorite flowers. The cashier wrapped them and gave them to me. Then I went home. There I stood in front of the door and was shaking. I felt how my courage left me but now I couldn’t ran away. Slowly, I opened the door and ran upstairs to our apartment. There I let the doorbell rang but nobody opened the door. Maybe he slept? Quietly I unlocked the door and entered the apartment. I put off my shoes and looked around. After I noticed Luhan, I ran into the kitchen and saw that Luhan’s body his body lay limp on the table. He looked like he just overturned and was sleeping now. But it wasn’t like that. I will never lose this picture…

Luhan’s body was pallid and around him there were everywhere bottles. Fragmented or whole, all of them were empty. The table was soaked in a transparent liquid. Vodka, I noticed. When Luhan collapsed, the last bottle fell down. The last bottle he ever will drink.

I shook Luhan, hit him a bit but he didn’t show me any reaction.

“Luhan! LUHAN! Please awake! Please!!!” I screamed desperately with wide eyes. Luhan’s lifeless body fell into my arms. I took him and carried him into the bedroom and laid him into the bed. “Luhan! I know you can hear me!!! Answer me! Damn it!!!” I screamed again. I knelt me in front of my bed and started crying loudly. A last time he needed to overcome… Slowly I took Luahn’s hand and slid two fingers up his wrist to feel for the pulse.

Nothing, like I expected… But… It hurts me… It damn hurts me! I was situated into nothing.

I couldn’t believe it. Like in trance I stared at Luhan.

Slowly I stood up, went to the kitchen and bring the Japanese lilies.

“I love you.” He said stammering and crying during laying the flower on his chest.

- THE FUNERAL –

Many days were gone. Days I didn’t move, didn’t talk and didn’t eat or drink anything.

Today was the day he will bury. I couldn’t imagine living without him… Nevermore seeing him laugh or listening to him when he will talk… nevermore to feel his warmth. I should have died and not him! I was the one who let draw from his addiction!

His relatives managed everything and told me I should relax and calm down. But how could I?

I sat in my car and waited that everyone left the graveyard. I pressed a picture of him against my chest and started to cry.

Oh god, I cannot do that…

Head down, I got out of the car. The guests were gone. I walked slowly to the grave and knelt me in front of it. The hole was a little shoveled so that the coffin only a little was to be seen. I took a red lily from my jacket pocket and placed it with his photo on the coffin. The flower was broken and let the head down.

“Luhan, I love you. I always loved you.” For me there wasn’t anything other than you. And don’t be afraid, I know you don’t like to be alone… and you won’t be alone. I promise! Soon, I want to come to you and our hearts will get one again. Promised.” I whispered serious.

- promise is a promise and will not be broken -