Sehun POV

These many lights from Seoul blinded my vision. I didn’t know what the time here was and I didn’t know what I should do. Now, I cannot go home – I was totally off one's head. I couldn’t do this to him…

When he was falling asleep I just went him. I needed it. I needed it so incredible much.

Again I will disappoint him. I cannot stand his gaze … full of scare and accusations.

A cold breeze destroyed my hairstyle and go through my whole body, so, as it will go through my bones.

I shake my body, sink my head and take a deep breathe. Then I start walking, walking right into the darkness.

Luhan POV

Restless I toss and turn in my bed.  “! I fall asleep!” I cursed myself. “Oh no… Sehun!” I whispered. A swipe at the other side of the bed was enough to notice that Sehun wasn’t there anymore. I rose me up and looked next to me and there was my confirmation. He was definitely gone.

I am such an idiot! How could I fall asleep? Immediately I jumped up and ran through the whole apartment.

Kitchen – Nothing.

Bathroom – Nothing.

Living room – Nothing…

His jacket was gone, his shoes weren’t on their place. “No… Please not!” I sniveled breathless and I ran back into the kitchen. His money was vanished and the money box was broken. Damn it. Damn it! “DAMN IT!” I screamed and fainted.

He was gone again…again… I don’t know where he’ll buy his stuff this time and I don’t know where he is now. What should I do if something already happened to him? Thousand situations went through my mind.  

I don’t want this anymore!

I double over and hit my head against the hard floor. “I cannot do this anymore…. What’s wrong?” Many tears roll my cheek down. I noticed that I got dizzy and touched my forehead. “.” I said quite tortured. I had a laceration.

If Sehun will come back, it will be trouble.

I stood up as good as I could and tumbled to the fridge. There I took a bandage and a towel. I wiped the blood out of the floor and put me the bandage on. Like in trance I went through the corridor in our apartment, directly to the glory-hole room. There, behind all the rice packages and ready-made sauces, I hide it. My good old friend the alcohol…

He could replace what Sehun gave me and he let me forget, at least for a few hours.

With one hand I braced me onto the door frame and with the other hand I took the bottle of vodka which was hidden behind the food. I opened the bottle with my teeth and took four big slugs of the healing water. How the saying goes? Disinfect inner scars.

Afterwards I put the bottle away and put it back into the regal. Then I lean my head against the wall and took a deep breathe. I hate this feeling. The feeling I have when I cannot carry for him, when I am not enough for him.

Klick. Klack. Klick.

Behind me was a sound like a dull clicking from a door which unlocked. He… he was there again. Fast, I closed the door from the glory-hole room and ran into the sleeping room and acted like I slept all the time. Then Sehun managed to open the door. I heard his deep breathing and his soft incoming into the room. He went to my side of the bed and sat down in front of me. I could feel his breathing on my skin. Somehow his face was right in front of mine. He came closer and his breathing got faster.

I could smell that smoked grass.

I felt that a warm and wet thing entered my mouth gently. I moved my head to him and united our lips. Slowly he moved his tongue and kissed me lovely. No matter how much he smelt after marihuana, his kiss tasted as sweet as always. With one hand he through my hair and stopped kissing me.

“Don’t act like you’re sleeping and as you didn’t drink something.” He whispered depressed. He is upset to me and disappointed from himself. “Why we love each other this way?” he asked and left the room fast. I rose up but I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. But then I jumped up.

No, I don’t let him go.

The same way he left the room, I wanted to follow him but because of the high alcohol level in my body I tumbled and fell down, directly in front of his feet. But he didn’t give any reaction. He opened the door from the glory-hole room and threw away all the stuff which was inside aggressively until he found what he was looking for.

He took the bottle of vodka and the rest of the liquor which I hide many weeks and took them with him to the next window. And then he threw away the bottles out of the window. A loud rattle was outside as the glass reached the asphalt and broke into thousands of splinters.

Sehun came back, leaned over me and looked into my eyes. Then he turned around. But I hold his leg.

“Please… stay.” I said breathless. I wondered that I said something in this condition. He shook his leg but I didn’t let him go. Then he kicked me into my face.

“Let me go. Without me you will feel better.” He said aggressively. Soon afterwards I heard the sound of the banging door.

Full of pain I hold my cheek.

“NO!” I screamed. “It won’t!”