Chapter V

Months passed and nothing changed in Jongin’s mundane life. He found that the nightmares rarely came, but it still had him a sobbing mess at the middle of the night. Chest pains never left; no surprise there. The doctor still asked him about depression during check-ups; Jongin still denied it.

Soon February was written at the top portion of the calendar, and Valentine’s Day came to spite him. Upon reaching school, Jongin sat on his desk chair and focused his gaze to the skies. He didn’t want to look at the classroom; he didn’t want to see it. The chocolates on various tables, some also filled with pink cards—hearts on the front page. Girls blushing as they confessed their feelings; boys blushing as they received such affection.

Once upon a time, Jongin also looked forward to Valentine’s Day.

Once upon a time he had someone to share it with.

But not this year.

Jongin sighed as he closed his eyes, feeling the sunrays warm up the coldness of his lonely being. He refused to remember. He didn’t want to. But a tear rolled down his cheek, and before he knew it, a dusty old memory was placed in front of him.

His first Valentine’s with Kyungsoo.

Jongin used to make Valentine’s cards for his parents. They were never around to accept it; always too busy to be home during February because they were at some hotel in a foreign country making love. The one time they were actually home, Jongin lit up in happiness as he gave them his card.

But there was no hug, and there were no kisses. Only a brief “How nice. Thanks. Now, run along.” After which, they used his card to wipe a spot on the table where wine spilled; right in front of his face. They didn’t even read it. He spent a full day thinking of what colors to use, how he would draw this and that, where to put the glitter and how to add the finishing touches. He put all his feelings in there—the sadness of being neglected, how empty it was to always find his parents leaving, and the love he’s still waiting for. And yet, they just used his card as a rag, crumpled it up and threw it away.

Jongin felt so unimportant, and miniscule, and just so terribly unloved. He stopped celebrating Valentines’ Day.

But then years later, the seven-year-old Kim Jongin cried tears of overwhelming joy when he finally had someone read his card. Kyungsoo smiled blindingly bright, and gave Jongin a kiss on the forehead, as his little thumbs wiped away Jongin’s tears. That day, Jongin also received his first Valentines’ card. Needless to say, he kissed Kyungsoo right back. And may have repeated said action ten more times. They ate chocolates while lying down on the grassy flowerbed at the park; pointing out oddly shaped clouds and just laughing like idiots when they messed up tongue-twisters.

It was a memory deeply embedded as one of Jongin’s many firsts with Kyungsoo. But of course, that no longer mattered. Jongin laughed bitterly to himself. Once again, he would stop celebrating this useless holiday. Oh look, hi there chest pain. So glad you decided to visit.

Tired out from the lovey-dovey atmosphere, Jongin couldn’t wait to get in the familiar solitude of his home. Unfortunately for him, the staircase he usually used was now teeming with couples—a spot for make-out sessions and cuddling. Jongin mentally gagged. He should’ve seen this coming; this staircase was rarely-used after all. The teachers wouldn’t know about all the PDA going on in there. So the tanned male joined most of the student population down the suffocating and congested main staircase. 

Upon finally reaching the ground floor, he began to speed walk. Home, home, home the only thing on his mind. He kept his face down—feeling out of place since everyone in the world seemed to be happy, except him. All he had to do was make it out the school courtyard, and he could sprint the sweet cheese out of here.

But he just had to bump into someone.

The two of them fell on the ground on their bums.

“Geez, watch where you’re going.” An irritated voice called out.

If it wasn’t for the high pitch, Jongin would have though he bumped into a guy, based on the way she talked. The girl was tall and lean, and had long hair with possibly every color of the rainbow. Weird, Jongin thought.

Now, while Jongin may not be one of chivalry, he knew it was only proper to help the girl out. He was a loner; he wasn’t heartless.He offered his hand to the girl. The girl accepted the help.

“Sorry about that.” Jongin apologized.

“Yeah okay sure, but I think I just lost the guy I was tailing. No thanks to you.” The girl sulked.

Before Jongin could apologize again and excuse himself because I just want to go home, a boy with a soccer ball passed by with some other guys.

“Whoah! Found him again! Thanks dude!” The girl said, as she slapped Jongin on the back, which the male assumed was supposed to be a friendly gesture. Weird, Jongin thought again. He thought only guys did that.

“O…kay? I guess?”

The rainbow-haired girl went on her way to following the soccer ball guy. The strange thing Jongin noticed was, she never went up to talk with him or anything. She just walked behind him, a pen and notepad in hand as she seemed to seriously take down notes. Plus, for a girl, she wasn’t girly at all—if that back slap, and her way of talking were anything to go by.

Must be some dumb love-struck stalker who can’t confess because she’s not feminine enough, Jongin surmised.

Contented with his guess, Jongin shrugged his shoulders and went on his way.

***

Author's note:

Whoah, haven't updated in a while~ Been busy with school and all :) Have a good day everyone~ Has anyone guessed who the girl was? >_<