You can't leave. I won't let you. If you leave, there'll be no one left. 

Sehun sat cross legged on the futon as he balanced his homework on his lap. He bit on the pencil's eraser as he read through the paragraph. Beside him, Sehun felt the cushions dip and Luhan sat down. 

"English?" he asked. 

Sehun nodded slowly. "Yea, I'm still struggling."

"I know." Luhan brought a hand up and touched Sehun's hair. "I'll help you in a bit. Just finish reading." Sehun glanced at Luhan and then back to his book. His eyes flitted across the page and he felt Luhan's hand smooth his hair. It was a soothing gesture that made Sehun relax slightly. 

"Oh, hyung." 

"Hmm?" 

Sehun closed the book, using his finger as a place holder, and turned himself so that he was looking at Luhan. The pencil rolled off where it was balanced on his knee and clattered on the floor. "I found the definition of ephemeral."

Luhan raised an eyebrow. "Wow, your English improved." 

"It's been a year," Sehun said. He leaned his head on Luhan's shoulder. "I know what it means. I like the word even more now." 

"Oh?" The hand Luhan used to touch Sehun's hair began to rub Sehun's back. "What's it mean?" 

"Lasting for a very short time," Sehun answered. Luhan felt something ache in his chest when Sehun said so. Sehun lifted his head off of Luhan's shoulder. "Do you want to know why I like it so much?" Luhan gulped and nodded. He had a feeling he knew the answer.

"Because it perfectly explains everything that's ever been in my life." 

"Do your parents know you're about to die in four days?"

Luhan nodded slowly. "Yea," he croaked. "Water, please." Sehun's hands reached for the glass on the bedside drawer. He lifted Luhan's head and held the glass to Luhan's parched lips. "Thanks." 

"They know but they're not here? Aren't they worried about you?" Sehun asked, placing the glass back onto the wooden surface. 

Luhan shook his head. "They kicked me out for being gay. They don't care." A small, bitter smile graces Luhan's face. "I remember their exact words when they kicked me out. 'Don't come back unless you're normal. We don't want someone like you in our family. You're a disgrace.'" Luhan turned his head to look at Sehun. "Tell me about your parents." 

Sehun's hands fiddled with his sleeves. "My dad had Alzhiemers. He died when I was in my second year of high school. My mom, on the other hand, died of cancer." Sehun smiled softly to Luhan. "I'm used to being around people who slowly drift away into nothingness and leave me here. But don't worry, out of the people on that list, you're the one that I love the most." 

"More than your mom?" Luhan joked. Sehun nodded, tears dropping from his eyelashes, and Luhan laughed. His laugh soon turned in a cough and Sehun had to wipe the little dribble of blood off Luhan's chin. 

"I love you more than I loved Jongin. Maybe it's because I never heard him say, "I love you" or anything like that to me, but still. I love you the most. And I always will." Sehun kissed each of Luhan's fingers and looked up at him. There was something swimming in his eyes, an emotion that Luhan knew, but couldn't put a finger on. "I had weird thoughts the other night, bad thoughts, when you were at the hospital," Sehun confessed. 

Luhan raised an eyebrow. "Tell me," he whispered, voice barely audible. 

"Remember how I said I would never kick you out?" Sehun's eyes searched for something in Luhan's own and then he diverted them. "It crossed my mind. Maybe it was because I was angry. But-but I..." 

Luhan hushed Sehun by lifting his hand. "You don't have to continue. I understand." 

Sehun's eyes shone with tears. "I feel bad. So bad. I feel like I just betrayed you. I can't even believe that I thought of something like that." Sehun's fists clench so tight his nails break the skin. "I just don't want you to leave, hyung." 

"I can't promise you that, Sehun. But I already promised you that I'll always be with you." Luhan smiled. "In there, remember?" Sehun looked at the finger pointing at his chest. 

"But I don't have a heart anymore. It's all broken." 

Sehun tossed and turned in bed. His eyes were squeezed shut and his lips were bleeding from being chewed on. The house was so quiet, so empty, and Sehun couldn't sleep at all.

Luhan was in the hospital. Sehun had sent him there for his last few days. He promised to come everyday, though, to talk and keep Luhan company. It was a way of Sehun to begin practicing coping with Luhan's death. It was inevitable, now with only three days left. Sehun felt a choking feeling in his throat and he kicked the blanket off of him. He reached to turn the light on and then stared at his blanket. 

There was a thick blanket of guilt and sadness in the room. Sehun at his bloodied lips, the metallic taste making him cringe. Luhan was all he could think about. Luhan, Luhan, Luhan. Sehun could imagine all of the pain Luhan was going through right now, the pressure in his chest, the feeling of air being forced out of his lungs, the pounding headaches. Sehun wished he could be there to at least hold Luhan's hand through it all. 

Sehun sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He turned off the light and then settled back into bed. His mind flashed back to two years ago, when his goldfish died. The rock with the carving, "Here lies my only best friend" was taken away, hidden in a box stowed in Sehun's closet, and replaced with a new one: Here lies one of my best friends. Luhan had urged him to change it. He meant it as a joke, but Sehun really did change it. When asked why he did so, Sehun replied with, "Because you're my best friend now. Because you understand me." 

That was two years ago. Back then, when he was still looking for a housemate, the house had been cold, empty, and sad. Two years later, after being filled with warmth, happiness, and love, it was back to square one. 

Cold. Empty. Sad.