Epilogue

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Sehun. 

I'm so sorry for leaving you like this. I lied about my days, you know. I didn't want to see your tears or hear you cry when I leave. That would hurt me too much. 

Thank you so much for the past few years. They really meant a lot to me. I'll cherish the memories I made with you for forever and ever. Don't be sad. You'll find your happy ending. I want you to be happy. I know that I've added more to your pain, but please, please, please, don't stay stuck in the past. Move on. Find someone new and make new memories. Maybe they'll be better of a lover than I was. Maybe they won't leave you like I did. 

I don't really know what to say anymore. We already know what each other would say. You'd yell at me for lying and I'd apologize before telling you off for being sad. Don't be sad. Smile. :) Be happy. 

You will find your happy ending. Just remember that. Remember me as well because I won't forget you. I can't forget you. 

I love you. 

Luhan.

 

Sehun placed flowers on Luhan's grave and sat down, cross-legged. He traced his fingers on the words engraved on the stone: An inspiring person, a wonderful friend, a beautiful lover.

Sehun smiled. "How's life?" he asked.

He could imagine Luhan appearing in front of his eyes and replying. "I've been doing well, how about you?" 

"I've been trying to move on, hyung. Really." Sehun nodded eagerly. "I mean, I haven't found anyone yet, but hey. I'm trying." The smile on Sehun's face slowly slid off. "I miss you." 

I miss you too.

"I miss your touches."

I miss your voice.

"I miss your smiles."

I miss your hugs.

"I miss your kisses."

I miss everything about you.

"But I'm trying. There's this guy. He's really nice to me. He's Chinese too. I don't know. Maybe it's because he reminds me so much of you." Sehun sighed. "Maybe it's because I miss you too much that I just happened to find a guy that's exactly like you." 

A slight breeze blew Sehun's hair out of place and he spent a few moments fixing it. "He's in the car. He told me he wanted to meet you. He said you must have been a great person if you could teach me how to love again." Sehun pulled up a weed that had grown around Luhan's grave. "You want to meet him?" Sehun pushed himself off of the ground and brushed dirt off of his pants. "I'll be right back. Hyung, you'll love him." 

Sehun ran to the car and opened the passenger's side. "Meet Luhan. Come on," he urged. He pulled Zitao out of the car and dragged him towards Luhan's grave. "He's here." Sehun sat down where he sat before and patted at the empty patch of dirt beside him. "Sit." 

Zitao didn't hesitate and took his seat. "This is Luhan?" 

Sehun nodded eagerly. "He was my best friend. You already know that." Sehun looked back at the grave. "I met him a few months ago when I was visiting you. He was visiting someone too," he explained. "Introduce yourself." 

Zitao smiled. Sehun seemed so happy, so eager to show that he was doing fine without Luhan. "I'm Zitao," he said. "I'm Sehun's friend. I just want you to know he's in good hands. I'll take care of him. You don't have to worry about him, Luhan." 

"He's takes really good care of me, hyung. And he already told me that he doesn't have any sickness whatsoever, so I don't think he's leaving anytime soon. I'll be okay." Sehun reached his hand over and Zitao placed his own hand on top of Sehun's. "I'll be okay, hyung. Thank you so much for showing me the way." Sehun could envision Luhan sitting cross-legged in front of him and smiling back at him. He could hear Luhan laughing and saying how proud he was of him for moving on and finding someone new. He could feel Luhan's soft touches on his arm and warm lips on his. It was as if Luhan was still here.

Good for you, Sehun-ah. I knew you had it in you. See? It doesn't hurt that much right? It's really great seeing you smile. I don't think I've seen you smile this much before. Have a good life with Zitao, okay? Keep smiling and keep your head up. There are people out there who love you and are watching over you. If you ever feel alone, just come back here. I'm here for you. Always and forever.

"We should leave," Sehun said. 

Zitao nodded. "Alright.""Bye, hyung. We'll be back soon." Sehun traced his finger on the cold stone of the grave. "And next time we do, I'll show you more things. I'll show you how happy I've become."

 

Two years later...

"Guess what Zitao and I did today, hyung. We adopted a girl," Sehun said. "She's four and she's lovely. She reminds me a lot of you. I know...it's been a while since I've actually seen you in real life, touched you, heard your voice, but your memories are still in here." Sehun tapped his temple. "I still miss you a lot. But I've moved on and made a new life with Zitao and Hyuna. That's her name, by the way." Sehun smiled and placed the bouquet of flowers on top of Luhan's grave. 

"I'm so thankful, hyung. So thankful for what you showed me when we were together. So thankful that I met you." Sehun wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "I can't wait to show you Hyuna and how much she looks like you. I can't wait to show you how much you've changed me. I can't wait for the future to come so that I can show you that I'm so, so happy now. Thank you so much, hyung." Sehun kissed his palm and pressed his hand to the cold stone. "I hope you're happy too, wherever you are..." 

 

Luhan.

Thank you so much for our two years together. It was ephemeral, but it was beautiful. I don't know if you know this, but I loved every single moment that we spent together. There are no words to explain how much you've changed me. There are no words to display the feelings that I have now. The world seems like such a nicer place now that you've opened my eyes. I just want to tell you that we're moving, Zitao, Hyuna, and I. We're moving back to Zitao's homeland. At first, I was really mad at him for even suggesting such an idea, but then I thought about it. He didn't feel like he fit in here. And me, I had too many bad times here. So I agreed. We're leaving next week. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. Please don't think that I'm leaving you here because I forgot about you. I never will. It's just...I think we'll have a better life in China. Maybe I could visit your birthplace one day. I'd like to see where you were born and grew up. 

I'm rambling now. Sorry. See how much I've changed though? I talk more now. 

Oh, and I almost forgot. Remember the word I loved, ephemeral? I don't think I like it very much anymore. It just doesn't explain what my life is like anymore. Everything comes and stays. 

Thank you again, hyung. This is my first and last letter to you. This is my goodbye. I'll always remember you. 

Sehun.

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Comments

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iminlovewithluhan #1
Chapter 10: Gosh this made me cry a river so heartbreaking but im happy sehun find his happiness
yulitacassie #2
Chapter 10: finnaly sehun find someone and staying...have happines with tao and children...luhan always in sehunnie heart...
LovemyLulu #3
Chapter 10: Sehun finds happiness at last with Zitao and Hyuna. that's good. they are staying, not leaving him, a happy ending. nice one. a good one..
But then why am I crying now? still why am I wiping tears?

Thank you for this beautiful story. I have read so many stories in AFF but I have never found a story like this that could make me cry like this. You sure are a gifted writer, so much talented. Thank you.
Never stop writing. Find your happiness. Be loved. <3
ChocoChen21 #4
Chapter 10: Author-nim, you better make Zitao and Hyuna freakin stay with Sehun, or I'll be drowning you in the pool of tears that have escaped this eyes of mine...

But good to know that he's moved on <3

Hwaiting for the next update ^_~
LovemyLulu #5
Chapter 9: Tears are still falling from my eyes. why does Luhan have to go? why can't Sehun be happy? why does everyone leave him? whyyyy?????
I am crying. it's like I am Sehun and it's me whom Luhan has left. This so sad.
Thank you for the update. You are so talented :)
Love you <3
ChocoChen21 #6
Chapter 9: God im crying right now....
Thus was me when i list my closest grandma TTATTA

I had to be hospitalized cause i was super depressed...

Very well-written author-nim TTATT

Hwaiting for the next updates :'D
DeerDot #7
Chapter 9: TT_TT . huwaaa . sooo sad . author , can you just make another Luhan will came up for Sehunnie ? they were fit each other .
hahahaharlequin
#8
Chapter 8: Geez. Good job making me cry DIRECTLY ABOVE my watercolour plate. Please tell me this isn't the end yet...

P. S. I just learned 'ephemeral' in art history class the other day while we were discussing impressionism... Welp, I never expected to encounter it soon in an angsty fic of my otp...
exoangst
#9
Chapter 8: omg i feel like crying T.T
LovemyLulu #10
Chapter 8: My eyes can't stop tears from coming out, even I say myself this is a fic not real I can't stop my heart from aching.
You are a great author. Thank you for the update. I really don't like the way this is going to end but I can't help myself falling for this beautiful story even more.
Thanks <3