Himchan clenched his jaw as he sat outside of the house on the steps, trying to not listen to the yelling going on inside. ‘You know what!’ His mother’s shrill voice rang through his ears, sending his stomach into knots. ‘You need to grow up! You need to accept life is not as easy as you think! You need to learn how to shut up and just listen!’ Himchan clenched his fists he had laying atop his lap, this wasn’t abnormal, his mother always had something to say about what they are doing. When it was him he could just close his eyes and take it, he could say the soothing things he had to, to try and ease his mothers anger. But now that it was his noona being yelled at? His soul ached to step in and do something, but he was terrified because that meant that his mothers anger would turn to him.

 ‘I’m not going to break up with him!’ His sister’s strained voice made him stand up instantly, he was unashamedly attached to his sister, after everything she did for him he wanted to do the same for her. It was an automatic response for him to defend her, but his body shook at the thought of stepping into this conflict.

 ‘It’s not about breaking up with the stupid boy of yours! It’s about you accepting the reality that you’re an idiot and needing to grow up!’ Himchan looked towards the front door struggling with the thought of going inside, it wouldn’t be the first time he stepped in but….school was starting soon. What would the guys thought if he came to school looking like he had just finished bawling his eyes out? But, his sister was worth it.

 ‘What did I do!?’ He gripped the front door’s knob and breathed out trying to calm the uncomfortable churning in his stomach before walking in.

 ‘You failed me, you failed your whole family, you are a failure!’

 ‘No she’s not,’ Himchan froze at the dark look his mother sent him, Her brown eyes were penetrating his very being, sending his body into fearful shivers.

 ‘Excuse me?’

 ‘Mother, you have no reason to beat her down like that. You know she is trying hard with her schooling,’ he spoke calmly, his face stoic and his posture confident, despite how vulnerable, terrified and soft his own eyes were.

 ‘Trying hard? She’s the one wasting money and challenging my authority! Now don’t you dare start with it too Himchan, or I’ll ban you from seeing her!’ Joonhee watched with a horrified grimace as her younger brother defended her, incurring the wrath of their mother.

 ‘Mother, you told us that we are free to express our feelings, and I feel as if Joonhee is doing well. I do not personally see evidence of her defying your authority. She has taken your lessons and put them to good use, she takes good care of her money.’

 ‘I do respect you,’ Himchan watched as his sister gained composure, drawing strength from her brothers presence she spoke up to her mother. ‘I appreciate everything you have and are doing for me, I love you.’ Himchan in a breath as he watched his mother, anxiously awaiting her reply. The siblings watched their mother scrunch her eyes closed before scoffing.

 ‘You know what? I don’t care anymore just go, get out.’ She lifted her hands to her eyes and rubbed them as if she were a martyr, dealing with the most evil of scum.

 ‘Mum-’

 ‘Out!’ Himchan clamped his mouth shut and went silent. Opening the door to leave he let his sister out first then followed her to her car, weakly grabbing his backpack that was lying on the front steps. Himchan’s composure was slowly coming back as he got into the car.

 If anybody else had seen the interaction between Himchan and his mother they would have seen how strong he was to face his fear, and how mature he was. Himchan was extremely mature for his age, as was his sister and that may have been due to their parents raising them, or it could have been because he had to learn how to deal with his mother. Either way the two siblings were exceeding their peers by far when it came to maturity.

 ‘Himchan,’ his sister pulled the car to a stop outside of his high school. ‘Thank you,’ she looked at the steering wheel, her hair fell like a curtain covering her face. ‘But please don’t risk yourself like that.’

 ‘Noona,’ Himchan’s lips curled into a morose smile as he took her hand in his. ‘I will always support you, we’re family and that will never change. Don’t lose confidence in yourself, you’re doing well. Mother is proud, she just doesn’t want to admit it.’

 ‘Himchan,’ she lifted her head and smiled weakly at her younger brother.

 ‘I love you,’ he reached out and ruffled her hair, ‘and so does mom.’ Himchan squeezed his sisters hand before grabbing his bag and stepping out of the car. ‘Now get going, you don’t want to miss class.’

 ‘I love you too little brother,’ Joonhee nodded to him then drove off as soon as he closed his door.

 ‘Yo! Himchan!’ Himchan immediately started smiling as he spun around to face Yongguk.

 ‘Yongguk! How are you?’

 ‘Good, as always,’ Yongguk grinned at him before going quiet.

 ‘Hey, have you played that game Daehyun sent us?’ Himchan broke out in rambunctious laughter as he bumped shoulders with his friend.

 ‘No,’ Yongguk shook his head before raising his eyebrow at his friend. ‘Don’t you think you should have been doing homework? You know Himchan, sometimes I think you just need to grow up.’

 ‘Pardon?’ Himchan stopped walking as he stared at his friend is shock. ‘I need to grow up?’

 ‘Yeah, you’re not mature enough for your age, maybe you should try being quiet for once.’

 ‘So…. the volume of which one speaks reflects their maturity?’ Himchan questioned slowly, trying to get to the bottom of Yongguk’s statement. Himchan had always spoken loudly and his friends had always harassed him about it. He tried to speak quietly, he did, but he spoke loudly. His mother thought yelling was normal, so he adapted and copied her as he grew up. That’s a hard thing to change, but it most certainly didn’t depend on his maturity, there was no correlation.

 ‘Exactly, quiet people are mature,’ Yongguk nodded confidently, ‘loud people are not.’

 ‘You can’t say that, that’s far too broad.’ Himchan frowned at his friend, not surprised by his ignorant statement, he was used to it. His friends always called him stupid, immature, and annoying because of how loud he spoke, and the strange things he said. ‘I’m mature, you just don’t see it, I can handle more things than most people our age.’

 Yongguk laughed loudly as he smiled, clapping Himchan on the back, ‘that’s funny.’

 It was true, Himchan was more mature than his friends, even more so than most of his class, but it was hidden behind his mask. His loud mask of false joy and laid back ease, his friends had no idea what he had to go through on a daily basis. They had no idea he had to go to a professional counsellor because of his mom, they had no idea that the counsellor was shocked by how mature he was. They had no idea that he had to fight for the right to be himself every moment he was at home, and they had no idea who he really was, because they refused to see past his mask. They were unable to understand that maturity looked like more than the silent man in the corner of the room.