Courage

❋

I've been gone for a week but it feels longer than that. When did they add the new plants at the office entrance? One of the elevators isn't working so I ended up lining up longer than usual. I even see a couple of new faces in my usual ride to the elevator. They must have been hired while I was away. I guess a lot can happen in a week. The moment I step out of my elevator, I'm greeted by a group of familiar faces, pulling me out faster than a group of people at a store with 'on sale' signs.

"Junmyeon-sshi, we missed you!" "Hey! Are you feeling better?" "Welcome back!"

My fellow colleagues greet me with wide smiles and pats on the back, welcoming me to the office. I bow to them and tell them I'm fine and I'm grateful for their kind words. As I sit back on my desk, Jongdae is already asking me how my 'vacation' was. He jokes that I must have been faking sick this past week but I counter him arguing that I was indeed sick. 

"Hey, how can you get sick after coming back from Jeju? You just wanted to prolong the relaxation, didn't ya? Haha!"

"The medical certificate says it all Jongdae-sshi. Hahaha."

They begin telling me stories how this entire week is crucial because of the clients that keep coming in. LOTUS is already expected to branch out further, building its network and opening up more offices. They even mention the bonus we'll be receiving.

"We should all go out to eat once the bonus arrives. What do you guys want? Seafood?" Jongdae already suggests.

"Jo Kwon sunbae, you're joining, right?" Juhyeon looks over to him.

As always, he's just at his desk typing busily and ignoring our existance. We assume he'll join since he never rejects an invitation. We continue to talk about where we will be eating and drinking this weekend and our conversation is cut short by the arrival of our Executives. The CFO arrives and Do Kyungsoo quietly returns to his desk to assist the CFO with the approval of our company's purchases. Next, the CEO arrives and we all bow him. He greets us all with a smile and Juhyeon goes to her desk this time. I return to mine already expecting that my boss will arrive soon. 

Jongdae, the only one whose Executive hasn't arrived, comes up to my desk and sits on it. He bends forward to whisper to me.

"Hey, I forgot to mention to you last week."

"Hm? What is it?"

"Mister Yifan has a meeting later this afternoon with a new client."

"Really? Let me pencil that down hold on."

"Man, this client is huge. They're an entertainment company."

"Really? Okay, who is it?"

"The company is Sta--"

"KIM JONGDAE, I NEED YOU NOW!" 

Our company's COO shouts for Jongdae and he nearly falls off my table, as if he were in a comedy show he jumps to his COO's side and shows his cheeky smile. I guess I'll just have to write down 'New Client' on my planner and ask Jongdae for the name--if I can remember to do that. I have a pile of profiles to go through. Missing a week's worth of work isn't good. Without a minute to spare, I start on the profiles. I open a folder, look at my computer and update their profile on the company database. Once a client's project is complete, I need to be the one to close their project and I pass it on to Kyungsoo who handles their account on the finance side. It's taken me a couple of months to finally find my groove and it couldn't be any sooner. 

I take a sip of coffee in-between my profile updating and when I look at my watch, it's already almost lunch time. Yifan hasn't arrived yet at the office. I wonder where he is. He's late for work. My boss should know that being punctual is important. I'm sure he'll also tell me not to drink coffee while working. Both of which he has reminded me several times before. He's not very good at following his own advice. Going back to my computer, I focus on my task at hand and finish my tall pile of folders. One client's file is pretty thick. I pick it up and open it to lay it on my lap but the folder accidentally tips over my coffee mug and the brown liquid spills on my dress shirt. The coffee is not burning hot but warm enough to my seat. 

"Ah! My shirt!"

"What did I tell you about drinking coffee while working?"

In front of me, Wu Yifan stands tall with his hands in his coat's pockets. I bow to him and greet him a 'Good Morning' which he ignores. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head while looking at my stained white dress shirt. 

"You should be more careful, Suho-yah..."

"Yes, sir...I'll go to the bathroom to clean up."

"No need. Come to my office."

He walks to his glass-covered office space and I follow without protest. Enterting his office, I'm nervous. It's been a week since I last saw him. He didn't visit me again after the day he cooked me poridge. He also hasn't mentioned Jinah being pregnant... with his child. I try to erase that fact from my mind but I can't. It's impossible because that is the reason I need to break it off with him. 

I watch him remove his coat to hang on his chair and rummage through his book shelf with a bottom cabinet. Spare neck ties, dress shirts and pants are folded neatly inside that cabinet. He takes a couple of shirts out and looks at the tags. After looking at one, he throws it at me and I catch it. 

"That's a size M. It'll fit you."

"Uhm... thanks..."

I turn around to take it to the bathroom with me but Yifan stops me.

"Hold on. Where are you going?"

"Uhh... the bathroom?"

"Change here."

"Eh? Why?"

"Do you have a problem with it? You'll need to take the stairs to get to the bathroom. Don't waste time. Just dress up here and get back to work."

"But--"

"Do as I say."

If we weren't in the office and my position wasn't at stake, I'd throw the shirt back at him. I don't do that, of course... at least, not in real life. In my head, I've already thrown the shirt at him and shouted a profanity. I face my back to him and start ing my discolored shirt. Even though I don't see him, I feel his eyes are glued to me. I remove my shirt and put on the new one. It's buttoned so I have to it. With my back exposed, Yifan's gaze is much sharper. How do I know this? Because the hair on my back rise up from a tingling sensation. My fingers are fidgeting and I barely the new shirt. I insert each arm and I'm struggling to button up fast. A pair of hands emerge from behind and the shadow of a tall figure appears in front of me. I jump and want to turn but he stops me. 

"Yi-Yifan..."

"We're in the office. Aren't you supposed to say 'Sir'?"

I swallow the saliva collecting in my mouth and attempt to speak without stuttering.

"Sir... th-this is inappopriate..."

"It's lunch time. No one is on the floor except us."

How he was able to find that out, I don't know. His arms hug around me and he's buttoning up my shirt for me. Our faces just centimeters away and skin nearly touching. I'm breaking in a sweat and it's 21 degrees inside the office. I shouldn't even be sweating. I avoid looking at his face and just look down at his hands slowly going down my torso. His slender fingers finish each button and at the bottom, he takes his hands and dig inside my pants. I grab his hands with panic. 

"Hahaha, I'm not gonna do anything... I'm just tucking in your shirt."

"I-I can do it myself..."

I see him smirk and he withdraws his arms and raises them. 

"Alright, go ahead."

I turn around and see him stand there. He watches me tuck in my shirt and neatly pat it down. The arms are a bit long so I fold them to elbow's length. I pick up my dirty dress shirt and look at my boss. We're looking at each other... not exchanging words but have a lot to say. I want to let it out of my chest, everything that I've been suppressing this past week. 

"Yifan--" "Junmyeon--"

We pause and start again, this time I lead the conversation.

"Yifan, we need to stop this."

"Stop?"

He furrows his brows and frowns. As expected, he's not happy with my decision. He walks to the door and locks it and stands in front of me, his hands on my shoulders. 

"You're breaking us up? Why?"

"You know why..."

I say no more and he realizes what I mean.

"Don't... Don't you trust me, Junmyeon-ah? I told you that I'll divorce her."

"You can't. Don't do that. Think about your unborn child..."

"Unborn child? The divorce won't affect the child..."

"Yes it will! We can't be selfish about this!"

I turn my back on him and reach for the door handle. He grabs the back of my arm and begs me to think this through.

"I've thought about this already."

"Junmyeon-ah, you need to trust me. Please."

As I unlock the door, I say my final words as his lover.

"From now on, I only see you as my boss."

"..."

He lets go of me and I push the glass door open. I'm relieved to see that there's no one else outside. I touch the tears that are streaming down my cheeks. I wipe my face clean of the tears and take a few deep breaths. It's okay, Kim Junmyeon. You did it. There will be more difficult days to come but you'll handle them. I know you can.

❋

A few hours after lunch break, Yifan hasn't stepped out of his office once. I imagine what he must be thinking about. Are his thoughts on the new clients? The company's expansion? His pregnant wife? ...Me? No, Kim Junmyeon, FOCUS. He's only your boss. How he thinks about you is none of your business anymore. How you think about him... just don't. 

With heavy breath, I look back at my computer screen to touch on the profiles of new clients. Back and forth, I look at the profile and database and I still find myself looking at my boss' office. A force of habit is difficult to change in just a few hours. I should distract myself. I should probably ask Jongdae about that new client that's scheduled to have a meeting with Yifan. 

I open our company's messanger room and click on Kim Jongdae's name. A window pops open and I type in my message.

Kim, JM: Jongdae-sshi, what's the name of the new client that has a meeting today?

Kim, JD: Ah! Right! The new client is from Star Museum.

Star Museum? I'm sure it's not----the company is big. Maybe someone else is meeting Yifan?

Kim, JM: Do you have the name?

Kim, JD: I didn't get the complete name. The last name is Choi though. Mister Choi.

Mister Choi.. alright, that surname is common. Maybe it's not Minho? I'm sure there are other Choi-named employees from Star Museum. I'm sure that the person that will come through our hallway won't be--oh , it is Choi Minho. He just emerged from the elevator doors and is walking towards me. Did he spot me? He removes his sunglasses and smiles when we lock eyes. Yeah, there's no doubt he saw me. There's no point in me trying to hide from him either. What the heck am I doing? I look stupid. Is my hair a mess? Does my breath smell bad? Crap...

"Junmyeon-sshi, I knew I'd find you here."

"He-Hello, Minho-sshi. I-I didn't know you'd be the one meeting with my boss..."

"I was going to tell you sooner or later but it was confidential until it was approved recently. Hehe..."

"Uhm... I-I'll let my boss know you're here."

He folds his sunglasses and puts them in his front shirt pocket and watches me walk around my desk to Yifan's office. Minho watches me like a hawk making me more self-conscious. I knock on my boss' door and he says to come in. I peak my head through the small gap.

"S-Sir... you have an appointment with Star Museum Brand Manager..."

"Okay, send him in."

I follow orders and signal Choi Minho to enter the office. I open the door for him and let him go inside. Yifan stands behind his desk and smiles at our guest. The two exchange handshakes.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Wu Yifan."

"Hello, I'm Choi Minho."

"Choi Minho?"

I witness Yifan's growing eye size and his obvious change in expression as he looks to my direction. I should have left the room when I had the chance. Now I'm in a very awkward situation... again.

"Aha... I've heard about you Choi Minho-sshi."

"You have? I didn't think my name would be known around here."

"No, I just know you through... connections," Yifan says as he raises his brow at me.

I take it as a queue to exit the room and leave the two alone to their meeting. But I think my soul left my body before that. Why does this keep happening to me?!

❋

I grow impatient while I wait for their meeting to end. It's a quarter past six and the other employees have already left. Of course I can't just leave the two alone in the office. I need to ensure the safety of Choi Minho since I have no idea what Wu Yifan is capable of doing when he unleases his inner beast once he gets mad. The door opens and I jump off my seat to observe what happens next. The two are all laughs and smiles and they shake hands before Choi Minho leaves. But he doesn't forget to face my direction to bow to me, and I bow back. He raises his hand, folding his three fingers leaving the thumb and pinky to make a phone shape, telling me that he'll call me some time. I awkwardly nod my head while my eyes gear toward Yifan's direction and he notices. .

Minho exits our floor and Yifan doesn't hesitate to come to my side in slow steps.

"He seems decent," he comments.

"..."

I don't respond. I don't know how to respond to him now. Am I supposed to agree? Disagree? Whatever my answer may be, he'll probably just throw a fit. But it shouldn't matter, right? 

"If there's nothing else for me to do, I'll leave first, Sir," I bow to him and grab my messanger bag and hang it on my shoulder.

My messanger bag's strap is yanked and I'm pulled back by a strong force. I almost fall back but I'm caught by Yifan's arms and he supports the back of my neck and kisses me. It starts off soft and he digs deep. I almost melt in his arms and then I realize it can't continue. I shove him off and wipe my lips.

"Yifan, Stop! I can't do this anymore!"

"Junmyeon-ah..."

"No matter what you say we can't be together!"

I hear him sigh heavily. I hurt him. I hurt us. But this is for that baby. I won't destroy a child's future. 

"Junmyeon-ah... I promise you... when the time is right I'll get you back."

I ignore his words and just leave. A tear falls before I turn my back on him. 

It takes a lot of courage to break your own heart... in order to not hurt someone else. 

❋

To be continued...

.n.e.x.t.

Author's Notes

I was writing the first part of this chapter between 2 to 5 in the morning. My dad even asked "Why are you still up?" and I ignored him. lol. I don't know why I find it easier to write in the middle of the night. There's a sense of calm at that time.

The 10th chapter! I made it! Yay! I thought that this fic will only be around 15 chapters but I was thinking about the story and I can actually keep it going until maybe 20 chapters? I don't know yet... since the length of each chapter may differ. We'll see :) 

Thank you to the support and interest!!!! I'll keep writing for you guys!! I want to finish this fic so bad! XD,,

The next part of the story I'll write is either Chapter 11 or the Special Side Story of Suho's disownment. I'll decide what to post when I complete either one of them. Haha!

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Until the next chapter! *poof*