Can you imagine? Taekwoon and I already reached three months even though you couldn't really see that we're couples, we are. No skinship, no saying of I love/like you, none at all. Well, we do fight a lot because Taekwoon would want our relationship to be known to everyone, irony to what I want. I mean, hello, Jung Taekwoon the most handsome guy on earth, the captain of our soccer team is dating me, the loner at school. No way. He's always there whenever I have my attacks, check up and to almost everything I do. Aigoo, such a clingy boyfriend.  By the way, I dropped school like what I've told you guys before and I've been stuck at home, dealing with the attacks alone whenever no one's home.

Today marks my nth visit to the hospital and it was revealed that the blood started to flow throughout my brain and the only thing that could be done is to quickly get  surgery before everything's too late. Although I had this choice to survive, I don't want to take it. Many what ifs are crossing my mind. The side effects, my body's own strength, and even my own willingness to live. "You are still young. You still have a long journey ahead of you" That was my doctor's advice. I sighed. I know that, but I just really can't. I think someone's or something is pulling me back to take the surgery because this would be my cause of death.

"So, how's your visit?" Mom asked.

"Same same" I shrugged.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes" I said boringly.

Someone rang the doorbell and I told my mom that I would get and to my surprise, it was Hongbin, carrying a well, fruits.

"Surprise!"

"Hey Binnie!" I gave him a hug, "And ah, you brought fruits"

"Not that nice to come empty handed"

"Come in?" I offered.

"No, it's okay. I just missed my break buddy" He said. This sweet Hong Kong.

"Then to the park?" I invited.

So we did sat on the swings and catched up, "So, you and Leo huh?"

"How'd you-" I gasped.

"Oh please, your man always tells me that you're his girl. Probably threathened by me" He shrugged, "I mean come on, I still love my past fiance and this is not sort of some korean drama where one guy would come out of nowhere and would fall for the girl lead"

I laughed along with him. This guy is like my brother. He stopped, "Please don't die.. Atleast for me. Please"

My eyes started to get teary, he continued, "I can't take the pain of losing a friend. I really can't"

"Hong.."

"I see Leo every morning, breaks, and after school lighting up a candle on our school chapel, probably asking for you to live longer. And I understand him"

Suddenly, I felt guilty. No. This isn't the plan. Leo shouldn't fall for me. This was purely for my own. For my own happiness. So I thought, I should stop this.

"Taek, can we go somewhere?"

"Where?" He asked.

Actually, we're doing nothing in my house. This would always be the scenario and this is why you will never see us as a real couple, cause if we are, we should be cuddling and such.

"If it's too crowded, then no. You might get stressed and have your attack" He reasoned out while reading. As expected. This anti-social freak. Wow. That was coming from me. Haha.

"Okay" I nodded, "Well, can I ask you a question?"

He just hummed, "Then, what do you think of breaking up?" I asked like it was a question about scientific facts although it was very heartbreaking.

"Break up?" He repeated on those deathly glares again came out.

 "I was thinking we could enjoy our last day before we-" I was scratching my head.

"Crap"

"Eo?"

"You're asking about breaking up, right? It's crap" His positioned change and I know he's getting angry about this. Well I have to endure it. This is the only way I know how to save him.

I gulped all of my courage to finally say the words I should've said earlier, "Leo, let's break up"

He stopped turning the book he's reading and looked at me. I was dying inside. It hurts so much. So much more than the previous hurt I felt when he confessed to Hana.

"Leo.." He scoffed, "Wae?"

"Well, I don't think we act as couples and besides you would end up alone too" I told him.

"Then what do you want? You asked for this. You told me not to" He said. I know I know.

"Because you're never going to fall for me, that's why I asked you" I still smiled despite of the dying feeling I feel, "I don't want you to act like you like me"

He just scoffed. I don't know what's going on his mind. I wanted to know his thoughts, I wanted to know his real feelings, I wanted to know everything about him.

"The do you want me to kiss you?" He asked out of no where.

"No" I immediately answered. "Not because you kissed me means you really li-"

My eyes widened. My heart beat fastened. It was drumming inside