Ryeowook’s favourite thing in the world is cooking. Just him, a bunch of utensils, and some fresh ingredients, and he’s in heaven.

He hums happily to himself as he chops up a big, juicy hakusai. Somebody had thoughtfully left it out on the bench for him. Ryeowook has no idea how they knew that he needed one for the kimchi hotpot he’s going to make for dinner, but he’s grateful. It’s saved him a trip down to the supermarket.

There’s a commotion coming from the lounge room, but Ryeowook ignores it, totally used to the fighting and yelling that breaks out in the dorms on a regular basis. He focuses instead on chopping the vegetable neatly, preferring to do this by hand for precision. He wants to get dinner done before Teukkie-hyung and Kangin-hyung come home from their interview; hotpot is Teukkie-hyung’s favourite.

The kitchen door is pushed open with a squeak and Ryeowook half-turns to face the disturbance, ready to growl at whoever is interrupting his food preparation time.

“What the hell, Donghae. Why do I always have to fix your mistakes?” Kyuhyun is grumbling, “This is the fifth time today that you’ve done this.”

“Kyuhyunnie,” Donghae whines back, clinging to his arm and staring up at him pitifully, “Mr. Pickles is my favourite – no, second favourite,” he amends, pouting, “teddy bear. He’s so cute, and fluffy, and I need you to turn him back before-” Donghae sees what Ryeowook is chopping at the bench and stops dead in the middle of the kitchen.

“Mr… Pickles?” his voice wobbles and his eyes start to well up with tears.

Kyuhyun looks at Donghae, looks at the half-chopped hakusai in front of Ryeowook, and an evil grin breaks out over his face.

Ryeowook’s stomach plummets.

Donghae slowly sinks to his knees in the middle of the kitchen, throws his head back, and absolutely wails. At this, Kyuhyun breaks into raucous laughter, clutching his side as he howls in delight.

Ryeowook turns white, drops his knife and rushes to Donghae’s side.

“Donghae, Donghae, I am so, so, so sorry,” he pleads, wringing his hands, completely at a loss as to what to do. Donghae’s crying only intensifies, his wails echoing through the kitchen.

Geng comes sprinting into the kitchen at the noise.

“Is everything alri-,” he pants, but cuts off mid-sentence when he sees the sight in front of him. Kyuhyun wanders over to the bench and touches the hakusai, causing it to turn into a pile of fluff and fur; the only part of Donghae’s Mr. Pickles left intact is its left leg.

Geng pineapples instantly.

Kyuhyun only cackles harder, doubling over with the force of his laughter, tears starting to bead in the corners of his eyes.

This only causes Ryeowook and Donghae to sob harder, completely overwhelmed by their emotions, which in turn causes Eunhyuk to come running into the room and then promptly join in when he sees what’s happened to Donghae’s bear.

Heechul walks into the kitchen, stops dead, takes one look at the scene in front of him before he turns around and walks straight back out of the room.

He walks back in a second later, scoops Geng off the floor and carries him out with him, muttering something about not being paid enough to deal with this .

Ryeowook, Donghae and Eunhyuk are still a sobbing mess on the kitchen floor ten minutes later, when Leeteuk and Kangin walk into the kitchen, finally back from their photo shoot.

Leeteuk’s concerned gaze finds Kyuhyun immediately, perched on the kitchen counter and happily munching away at some kimchi that Ryeowook had pulled out of the fridge for the hot pot. He stabs another piece of the spicy pickled vegetables using the knife that Ryeowook had discarded earlier.

“Yo,” Kyuhyun says around his mouthful, waving Ryeowook’s knife smeared with red from the kimchi happily.

Leeteuk faints.