March 4th

    I stared at the photo several times a day wondering how I would find this lady. Sooyoung.  Would I have to go find her file in this hospital? Does she have any information in this hosptial? One more time should do the charm. So, it was set. I was too curious and full of ambition. I would find a way to the Staff’s room whether it meant lying to Bora once more. 

    That night, I was able to convince Bora to lend me her access card. It was easier than I thought it would be.

    “Bora, could I have your access card for a bit?” 

    “Why?” she stuffed with potato chips.

    “Last time when I was in there, I lost something,” I fibbed wondering if she would believe it.

    “Why not.” 

    “Really?” her answer took me by surprise.

    “Yeah, just don’t get caught.”

    Those were her final words to me before she handed over the access card and left the room to go home. I sat in my room waiting for everyone to fall asleep and everything to be quiet as it should be at night. Once it was dark and silent, I made my way out the room and into the hallway.

    As I walked to the Staff’s room without being detected, I found something strange. There was something different waiting for me in there. The door was already open and the lights were on.

    I went towards the door forgetting to check if anyone was watching me or if anyone was there. I peeked inside first to see if there was anyone in the room before getting into the room myself. Nope, no one. I stepped inside and walked around the room to see anything out of the ordinary. Scattered onto the floor was a file’s contents. A file cabinet drawer was opened as well. I crouched down to examine it more closely. It was my name. IM YOONA.

    EVERYTHING was on the floor. From past family history to pictures I never knew about. But one particular thing stood out: a ripped picture of my father and I. Who did this? What was the reason? Suddenly, I could hear faint footsteps become louder towards the door. I scanned the papers quickly trying to absorb the shock and information all at once. Everything was useless to me. Pictures were nice, but no indicator where my father was. 

    But then… I found a note I have never seen before.

    A note from my mother. I quickly grab the note and tucked it inside my pocket. No time to read and dwell on the past right this minute. I looked over more papers…

    “Who’s in this room? Who is it?” a voice I recognized: Doctor Choi. He was mad, no …past furious. 

    He looked around the room until he found me crouching at a folder of mine. I couldn’t look up from the information I found within the file…the monastery behind this hospital.

    “Yoona! Why are you in here?” he asked almost at the point of yelling.

    He was the one mad, but I was the one gathering up hate and anger within me. Tears fell out of my eyes as I stood up slowly and looked at him. His expression changed from anger to confused to realization in seconds. In my hands… was lies that became the truth within seconds.     Only three words stood out as I looked at the paper in my hands: DOCTOR CHOI, CONFIRMED, RELATED.

    Now, I know…I know.

    “Why?” I asked him… “WHY?”

    “Yoona…I—,” he became flustered in seconds.

    “You what? Look at this!”, I waved the paper at him, showing proof.

    “Those papers… are lies.”

    “No, this information is real. Your words are lies.” I said as my anger intensifying by the second.

    Two nurses came running towards the room after hearing the ruckus. I didn’t care, I kept staring at Doctor Choi for answers..the REAL answers.  But he wouldn’t look up at me…ashamed? 

    “Doctor Choi. What happened?” a male nurse asked as he observed the situation.

    “Nothing.”

    “This is nothing?!” I threw the paper on the ground, with tears falling from my cheeks.

    “Take her to her room. I don’t know how she got into this room, but…” he tried to get rid of me…

    “Okay. Come with us.” They waved me over.

    No. I wasn’t a dog. I wasn’t a slave. I refused to leave without answers. Without the truth. But the nurses wouldn’t let me stay for one second, so they forcefully dragged me out.

    But I will leave threatening the place. Before I die, I will get my revenge…

    “To someone I trusted the most, I have been betrayed and shielded from the immense truth. Someone that I thought I could rely the most on is my worst enemy! I hate you, despise you!” I said cursing him as the nurse dragged me away, the last thing I saw was the hurt and ashamed look in his eyes.

    Should I thank the person for revealing the truth or hate them to my very hearts’ content?

    I sat in my room locked in this time. No Bora. No Doctor Choi. No Donghae. It’s quite funny, isn’t it? I ended up pushing and throwing the people that were close to me away.

    I took the note out of my pocket, unfolding it.

        Sooyoung,

            It’s been a long time since I have seen you. I saw Yesung and You the other day, you guys look happy with the little one. I heard you wanted to call her Yoona. That’s a beautiful name. How far along are you in your pregnancy? It must be great having a child with someone you love. That reminds me, I have something to say.

    I know I may be your dearest friend, but I’m still  Yesung’s Best Friend. I’m sorry that I may be stepping over the line for this, but I have to express it. I’ve been in love with him since we were young. I don’t know why I didn’t tell him, but I feel like I should tell you to get it off my chest. Don’t read into my words too much. I think I love him, but since you two are in love and such a pair. I can’t or I couldn’t say anything and when you announced that you guys were dating and about to get married, I had given up. 

    I just want to pass my blessing and hope that your baby becomes a nice child.

    Thanks for everything,

    Yuri

    I was completely in shock and flustered. The woman who I called my mother wasn’t my true mother. Sooyoung is my real mother. That changes everything…

    I had so many questions built up. Where was my real mother? Why did Yuri become my mother and why did she become so cold? Was she related to Doctor Choi?

    When I thought I was alone, Donghae comes running to my door with a pity smile. It must be his nice side this time. I gave him a smile back as he walked to my side and sat down where my feet laid.

    “Why are you here?” I asked as I looked at my hands as if I given up.

    “You should find out the truth.”

    “What?” I lift up my head interested in what he had to say.

    “You should find out what is happening with your family. Even if it’s broken, dig deeper and find the truth until you find what you need. Don’t give up so quickly.”

    “I don’t plan to give up,”

    “I heard what happened. Doctor Choi and the staff room.”

    “Yeah, it was…”

    “What did you find out?”

    “I found out things that weren’t meant for me to see. My mother isn’t really my mother. But I had her figured out wrong, she was in love with my dad but something caused the relationship to turn sour… I have to find out why. I also have to find why Sooyoung left my side.”

    “What about the cold emotions you received by your mother? Didn’t you perceived them as being unloved?”

    “That’s… another day to figure out,” I sigh heavily as all my thoughts were clumped into one and everything seemed scattered around.

    “Okay. We can find that out some other time.”

    I blanked out for second, before I climbed out of my current position and sat directly behind Donghae and leaning on his back.

    “What are you doing?”

    “Give me just… one second,” I said as the emotions came alive and tears stream down silently.    

    “Whatever you need,” he replied as he waited for my response.

    “I feel so betrayed, so deceived like I lived another life.”

    “Why is that?”

    “Doctor Choi is my grandfather.”

    “He’s … what?” Even Donghae found it surprising, good thing he felt what I felt.

    “I found my files on the floor and inside were relations to me and photos I never seen before. Doctor Choi has always been around from when I was born to now. That’s why he’s been treating me more carefully than other patients. I feel so betrayed. All this time, I thought I was alone and that I had no family left to lean on…but I had one. I could have been able to feel a grandfather’s love, but all I felt was the hate of the world and abandonment from my family.”

    “Maybe it was his way to tell you his love. Without saying a word and disrupting your happiness that you created yourself within the hospital, he didn’t want to ruin it and have you wonder about the past that you don’t like knowing.”

    “He should have said something. I needed hope when I felt like I gave up. I only felt like he was a dictator in my life instead a real grandfather. It was the opposite of what I was supposed to be feeling.”

    “He loves you, doesn’t he? He tries to keep you alive…”

    “That makes me what to dig around more. I have to investigate Doctor Choi…no… Siwon Choi.”

    “If he’s your grandfather, does that mean he’s related to your father? Or your mother?”

    “They may have the different last names, so I wouldn’t know who Doctor Choi would be related to.”

    “We don’t know Sooyoung’s last names… so it may be her?”

    “It could.”

    For a second, Donghae seemed like the person to lean on. Even Bora has been telling me his condition has been great. He’s not two people anymore. He’s just Donghae. He’s no longer changing identities anymore. It’s not like I could seen both of them often, they seemed to turn off whenever we meet. 

    Laying on Donghae’s back, I start to ponder why Donghae hasn’t left my side. Everytime I push him away whether it be violently or softly, he stays stuck to me. It’s not a bad thing, or at least I don’t think it is. It makes me wonder, what happens if I was gone? Would his condition spiral out of condition or will he leave well afterwards? I don’t think I could be okay if he left my side, he calms me down when my anxiety is through the roof and he brings my emotions to the surface when I need to let it out. He’s like a guardian angel.

    That night, I fell asleep on his back without realizing it and he laid me down on the bed and tucked me in. I was going in and out of my slumber as he moved me in a more comfortable place. Without realizing it, he was trying his hardest to help me find my peace before I left the world. With one last look before I fell asleep, I saw him leave with quiet steps.

    The next morning, I woke up to the sun hitting my face and I responded with a scrunched-up face. I tried my best to cover my eyes but there was a note sticking to my forehead. I grabbed the note and blinked several times to focus on the note.

    Yoona,

    You fell asleep on me and it felt like a heavy brick. Rest assured, I hope your problems become solved and I hope I helped a little bit yesterday. If you are in pain or in need of someone to let go of all of your worries, come to me and I’ll become your pillow. By the way, when you wake up… there will be milk — fresh off the cafeteria, enjoy! ~

    Donghae

    Looking to the right of me, I found a tall glass of milk. I absolutely hated milk, but to wash the medicine down… it was the only source of drink by my side. I was too lazy to get up and get my own drink. But… reading the note over, it made me smile that he completely trusted me and he wanted me to trust him with all my struggles. Maybe, he could be a friend to me after all. I set the note aside and waited for Bora to come in with my medicine. She should be arriving soon. 

    After 15 minutes of waiting, I grew worried until Bora came running to the door. Her face was full of frustration and anger mixed with sorrow as she held the