“No, we aren’t the same. Just a coincidence. Everyone has that once in a while.”, I replied coldly as I watched him leaned slowly back to his normal position.

“Yoona. We are outside the hospital, why are you acting so cold?”, He tried to smile through the situation he was put through. He must’ve thought we were best friends after a couple glances at each other throughout the hospital. No, I’m  not one to trust someone so quickly. He must be mistaken if he thought of that.

“I’m always like this. It just happens that once in a while when I open myself, you show up. Why?”, I rebutted quickly.

“Just like you said, it’s just a coincidence. Everyone has that once in a while.”, He repeated with a brighter smile this time. A smile that somehow disgusted and calmed me at the same time.

“That wasn’t a coincidence.”, I tried to pin him down with more information.

“Then...Why did you except my every concerning move then?”

“I can’t… that was my sensitive moments. You can’t turn that against me. Things happen…”, I said scoffing at his ridiculous argument that lead to nowhere. 

“I’m sorry then. I won’t bother you anymore.”, He folded his arms as his expression told a different story. I could tell that he wanted the same thing I wanted: information yet we were both stubborn to our own standards.

“What’s your story? The real one?”, I changed the story quickly stopping any awkwardness between us if there was any anyway. 

“You’re a weird one. You’re so quick to the point.”, he pointed at me.

“I’ve have always been like this, like I said before.”

I leaned back in my seat, trying to settle my slight headache as the waitress from before came towards us. She was smiling brighter before, a little unsettling for me. Her eyes only saw Donghae at this point, as she set the two cups of coffee on the table. The coffee was steaming hot and black. It kind of resembled the eyes of…. never mind. I don’t want to think of that person at this moment. I turned my attention to Donghae, who was staring at me unexpressionless. The waitress took notice and looked at me as well.

I could hear the thoughts in her mind….disturbing and uptight questions about me. Those horrible thoughts that anyone would think of me on the spot… 

“No.”, I glanced at her which surprised her for a second. Was I scared? No. Was she? She was terrified.

“What?”, She blinked several times before realizing what she got into.

“He’s not my boyfriend. We aren’t together. And I am plain to you, but I’m something to others.”

It was easier for me to expect what others are saying or thinking in their minds. They were always the usual comments that I didn’t wish to bury myself in. What was the reason for all the hate? For all the noise for someone’s heart? I learned from the hospital, that people tend to judge if you are outside from the normal circle… I was only repaying back the pain I kept within me for a while. She might think I was rude… but to me, I could care less. 

“Uh… sorry. Did I… Have a good time with your coffee.”, She scurried off back to work as Donghae kept his eyes on me. He must have been surprised as well… of course, I didn’t care.

“Am I some painting?”, I glanced at him as I grabbed the coffee from the table, the cup warming my hands.

“You could be… but you just won’t stay still.” He said with a sarcastic tone in his voice.

“Why did you lie and make me come with you then?”

“That doesn’t correlate what I’m trying to say.”, he took a sip of the coffee. It seemed a bit bitter by the look on his face. I couldn’t help but snicker at his expression.

“Yoona, are you going to stop lying to yourself soon?”,

I stared at him, expressionless, unable to comprehend anything else being said to him. No words would come out of my mouth…

“Yoona! Stop! Stop telling yourself that you do have loving parents!”, Yura looked at me with disgusted. Yura was my classmate. She was one of the pretty ones that I admired, but she was the vicious ones. All I could was stand there frozen in my spot. 

“I’m not lying. I’m not lying.”, I repeated myself over and over, but she rolled her eyes as she slammed my locker.

“You are motherless. Fatherless. Might as well get out of this school. You know this school is something you can’t afford.”,She said almost as if it sounded like an ultimatum. Her hands immediately went towards my neck, but she didn’t grip my neck hard.

“You don’t know me, to know that. You don’t know me.”, I cried out as I tried to keep the tears from falling out of my eyes.

“We were friends. Best friends. Remember?”, She said with a harsher tone...

How could she bring up that past? That regrettable past?

Yura was my best friend. My only friend that would go through the tough times with me. But then, she began to wonder why I couldn’t do the things she did. She began to change as well and go into a different crowd. When I was struggling in school, her smile faded into a smirk. A hateful smirk into a hateful smile. Throughout the rest of school, I braced myself for the worst as I was teased. I was branded as the sick orphan that couldn’t stand a chance in the real world..

Nobody could protect me anymore.

I was alone. Alone as always.

It hurt me inside…Everything seemed to crash down… 

“Leave this place. You aren’t pretty. You shouldn’t fall in love. You shouldn’t haven’t a family.”, She repeated in my mind.

“Fall in love?”, I asked her with a raised eyebrow, at her ridiculous demands. 

twitched, trying not to scoff at my innocent question. It was all innocent but she didn’t understand.

“He fell in love you. Why you? You are so plain, so not like me.”, Her eyes fell to her hands as she said her last words to me. My hands dropped to the side as I realized why she acted this way… too harsh than before.

I felt a slight touch on my hand, making me return to reality once again. I looked up to see Donghae lighting tapping his warm fingers onto my hand. I pulled back my hand, the minute he stopped touching me. He looked quite concerned for me, but did I care? No.

“Are you alright?”, He took a sip of his coffee, a little too fast, which ended him to spit it back out. 

“Too hot? You deserved it.”, I rebutted quickly with a snicker.

“What about you? Don’t you need some consequences as well.”

“For what?”

“For — “,He stopped mid-sentence or rather he lost his train of thought?

“What? You can tell me.”

“Nevermind. I deserve the burnt tongue, just drink your coffee.”, He nagged me, taking back whatever thought he was going to say. For me? I was cruel and I didn’t care.

“Thanks for the coffee. It’s something I haven’t had for a while. It’s a memory.”, I replied with a slight smile as I held up my cup of coffee with two hands. 

“A memory?”, He cocked his head to the side, a curious look in his eyes.

“Yeah. It’s a memory of mine from way back. My dad would treat me to coffee when I was stressed or when I just didn’t feel good. Although he knew that coffee would keep people up, I was the weird one. Coffee never affected me, but I was able to focus and go to sleep early. It was probably not the coffee, but the daily talks with my father. Coffee makes me suddenly miss him.”, I said cupping my hot drink.

“Where is he? Does he visit?”

“He stopped visiting awhile ago. I just know he paid for my surgery when I was small, and he wasn’t able to visit anymore due to work. He was working so hard to keep me alive, it makes me feel so much burden inside of me. I can’t stop the feeling of regret, of not being able to hold his hand and tell him that I would work hard as his daughter…I miss him so much.”, I said emotionless, I couldn’t cry today. Not today. Today was Naeun’s day.

I looked at Donghae, who seemed to relate to what I was feeling…but who was I to know what was on his mind? I could feel tears welling in my eyes, but I kept them away and locked as always.

“It’s not your fault. You were young. You were incapable of doing the impossible. How were you supposed to know that he was going to never appear in front of your eyes? You can fight this feeling.”, He tried to talk me out of my sadness. How could he? It’s been years since I could l feel happiness in my life, I dwelled on the sadness.

“I tried. Everyday for 8 years. Eight years.”, I said sipping my coffee. The steaming coffee burnt my tongue but I couldn’t feel it. I was numb again.

“I wish I had a parent like yours. A caring one. Someone who would stick by my side.”

I glanced at him, he was smiling as if what he was feeling was butterflies when it was knives stabbing in the stomach. It was the same feeling I felt.

“Don’t. Don’t think anymore. Let’s not repeat the past anymore.”, I stared out the window watching people walk by with smiles planted on their faces. Smiles that I couldn’t tell whether they were genuine or not...

“If we don’t go to the past, how do we know what happens to us… We all have a secret, don’t we?,” His eyes glanced to me suddenly.

I had a feeling that he knew my secret…my lies. Have he known all along or am I getting too paranoid? I give him a smile, it wasn’t genuine or fake. It meant nothing.

“I don’t want to know for I’m not curious about my past.”, I sipped  my coffee. It has cooled down, perfect to drink. Or so I thought.

“You’re lying. What about your father?”, He hit a nerve. 

“What about him? Don’t act like you know him. He was my dad…no, he is my dad.”, I said looking into his eyes, as his expression turned apologetic.

“I’m sorry.”

“No need for apologies. Let’s just go.”, I said leaving my lukewarm drink on the table and Donghae to pay for the rest. I didn’t want to hear anymore about my father. It wasn’t his business to know about my life story. I was cruel, but it was because I didn’t want to burden anyone else.

My frustration cooled down as I faced the cold wind hitting my face. Walking without  a reason back to the hospital, seemed pointless yet I tried to make the best of it. From afar, I could hear his footsteps quicken, perhaps from spotting me in the empty sidewalks.

“Yoona. You can’t just leave like that.”, He scolded me as if I was a child, “It’s a cruel world out here, don’t you know? There’s guys who’ll grab you and take to who knows where. You can’t just leave because you can’t control your emotions.”

“What about you right now? Aren’t you being a hypocrite? You could have let me gone without getting mad. You could have just followed behind.”, I said scoffing as I folded my arms.

“Fine. I am a hypocrite but what would Doctor Choi say if you were suddenly gone.. under my watch?”, He rebutted, but I could only find the meaning that he didn’t want to get in trouble. He was afraid of a doctor? 

“If you say so.”, I kept walking, without taking his words in consideration.

“Do you have no heart?”,

I stopped walking at this point. I was tired of him, telling me words that I wouldn’t accept no matter work. So, I took a deep breath and turned around. I slowly gathered up enough strength and looked at him. But I didn’t expect his expression to be so… serious. His gritted his teeth and stared me down with those intense brown eyes, and all I could do was blink. I didn’t think he would be this passionate about….