Chanyeol waits and waits and waits.

He doesn’t know what he is waiting for. He doesn’t know why he has to wait either. He only knows he has to wait. And so he waits.

This is a beautiful place. The air above him is always sparkling blue and the clouds are cotton white. There is a big fence behind him, made of emerald leaves, but he doesn’t know what there is on the other side. He doesn’t feel like there is any need to know what there is over there either. One time, a man with really big eyes and another with slightly tanned skin waved at him from the other side of the fence; Chanyeol didn’t know what to do, so he only smiled back at them, to be polite.

There is a big gate, leading to the other side. It is huge and sparkling, and it is always open, leaving a gap on the fence. Chanyeol doesn’t go there, because he doesn’t need to be there. However, there are many people who go in every day, crossing the gates. No one is ever coming out. He doesn’t know where they are coming from, but they all walk on the same path. They are all dressed in white. They are people from all over the world, some young, some old; but they all look their best. Some of them walk alone and some are holding hands with friends or family. A little girl was holding her teddy bear once.

There is a marble bench near the fence and the gates. That’s where Chanyeol waits. He sits there during the day and sleeps there at night. It is never a cold or uncomfortable place; it’s just the place where he has to be. He spends his days watching the people passing by. They don’t speak to him and he doesn’t speak to them. He only watches them quietly and, sometimes, some of them notice him too and smile. Chanyeol always smiles back; it feels like it’s the right thing to do.

To Chanyeol, all these people look happy. They walk soundlessly and calmly, like leaves wafting down a river. They all seem relieved of all their worries, clean of all their mistakes, away from all their sorrows. Some of them smile, some look around with wonder, some hum tunes cheerfully like they are on a trip. They are all very light, very calm, very peaceful and optimistic. Chanyeol feels happy just because they are happy. He watches them all day and, even though sometimes he feels a bit lonely with no one to talk to, he likes waiting like this, because he has the chance to see so many people happy.

He doesn’t know how long it has been since he got here. He doesn’t know for how long he will have to wait either. He only knows he has to wait. And so he waits.

Chanyeol waits and waits and waits.

--

At some point, a little girl strays from the flow of people and approaches Chanyeol. That has not happened ever before. But it must be a happy occasion, because only happy things happen up here.

“Hello” the little girl says. She is small, reaching only as high as Chanyeol’s knee. She is wearing white clothes, like everyone else, but she has two small wings on her back. She must be an angel. She is very pretty and sweet in appearance. Chanyeol smiles.

“Hello, little angel” he kneels down to get closer to her size. He has always been too tall and he might intimidate her. He has always been good with children.

“Do you know for how long you have been here?” the girl asks, tilting her head to the side.

Chanyeol shakes his head.

“Do you know what you are waiting for?”

Chanyeol shakes his head again.

“Okay then” the little girl nods seriously and cutely, taking on a thoughtful look.

Chanyeol doesn’t know if he should be doing this –because she is an angel –but he cannot resist the urge, so, he picks her up in his arms in an instant, with a sweet smile. She looks very surprised by his gesture and she clutches nervously at Chanyeol’s shoulders, looking down at the distance with the ground. Chanyeol is holding her safely and securely, so she doesn’t need to worry.

“Thank you for talking to me” he says with a calm, deep voice. The little girl looks at him, forgetting about the height hazard. She quirks her eyebrow and places her small hands on his face.

“Your eyes are really big. And your smile is really bright. Your teeth are too many.” She observes and then, a sudden realization flashes across her face. “Are you Chanyeol?!”

“Yes, I am”

“But I thought you were old! You look twenty years old!” she protests, poking his cheek. Chanyeol doesn’t know how the girl knows his name or why she expected him to be old, but he finds her cute, so he only smiles at her and her wide open eyes. “I have been looking for you everywhere!”

“You have?” Why would she need to find Chanyeol? “I have been here all along”

“I can’t believe this” the little angel rolls her eyes dramatically “But anyway, I am glad I finally found you”

“Why did you need to find me?”

“I have to give you this” the little angel presents a flower. It is very pretty and strange in the same time. It is white, with small golden marks at the centre, and it has beautiful velvet petals. Chanyeol knows this flower. It’s an iris.

“Well, thank you” he says, taking the flower politely “But why?”

“You will know what you need it for when the time comes” she answers confidently. Chanyeol believes her, because she is an angel.

--

Chanyeol sleeps and wakes up three times, holding the iris securely close to him, until the next time he sees the angel girl. She appears walking on the path, following the flow of people dressed in white, looking happy and excited, but she is not alone this time. She is guiding someone by the hand.

All Chanyeol can see from far away is that the person is a man. The closer they come, the more details come into view and the more familiar the man looks.

He is small, somewhat short and thin. His steps are small and excited, just like the little angel’s. He has a certain elegance and refinement in his moves, as he walks calmly and peacefully, like the people around him. He is wearing white clothes that illuminate his smooth fair skin. His hair is copper brown, falling softly across his forehead. The man looks young and he is beautiful. Very beautiful. His healthy complexion, his puppy eyes, his cute nose, his rosy lips, they make Chanyeol’s heart skip a beat. He has seen many people, but no one like him. The man looks like he is searching for something.

And suddenly, Chanyeol remembers. Baekhyun.

He remembers everything about him. Every little quirky thing and habit, every happy moment they have spent together, every heartbeat of his life he has spent loving him. Memories start flooding Chanyeol.

He remembers an evening in November, at a late year of their lives, holding hands with him and strolling down a path at Chanyeol’s favorite park. He used to like that park because of the old trees and their colors in autumn, when everything transformed into a beautiful kaleidoscope of amber, red, brown and yellow. It was impossible to imagine a hue of those colors not found in that park. Pale and fading or brilliant and vibrant, the colors swirled on the trees and Chanyeol loved the sight. Baekhyun knew how much Chanyeol liked that park, so he took him there to cheer him up; it was right after Chanyeol was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Chanyeol was so scared, worried and sad, because he would forget everything, his memories would all be erased eventually, and he would leave Baekhyun alone, he would even forget his name, and he would hurt him so much. But Baekhyun held his hand that day and Chanyeol felt safe. Baekhyun braced his little heart and told him that it would be alright; they would get through this. Together. No matter what. And how Chanyeol wished in that moment that he would never have to forget how much he loved Baekhyun.

He remembers the first time he took Baekhyun to their new house. It was a sunny day in April, the date of their wedding anniversary. They had been married for five years, living in a cute apartment downtown which was enough for two people, but not enough for them. They, both, always dreamed to have a house of their own, somewhere where they would be safe and comfortable, separate from the worries of the world and cranky neighbors. So, when the money was enough, Chanyeol bought it. He picked a house on the suburbs, where the noise came primarily from people’s laughter and children’s games. The house was not extraordinarily large or luxurious, but it was pretty and picturesque. It had large windows, a fireplace and a yard with white fence, because Baekhyun has always loved the light, warmth and flowers. Chanyeol made sure to pick Baekhyun’s fairytale house; for Chanyeol’s dream house had always been any with Baekhyun. Chanyeol knew his husband would like the house, but he couldn’t help feeling a bit nervous. When Baekhyun saw it, he covered his mouth with his hand in shock and tears welled in his eyes. He whispered ‘It’s perfect. Thank you, love’ and Chanyeol too was very thankful and happy, because he knew Baekhyun would turn this house into a home the moment he would step inside.

He remembers another day in April, many years before, standing under a canopy of fragrant flowers. Chanyeol still remembers how the sun was bright but soft that day and how he was relieved that no spring rain would fall that day from the endless blue sky. He was so nervous and jittery, but he was also so excited and happy; he was sure he would explode into a million fireworks any minute. There were so many people smiling, his parents sitting in the front row, his friends standing in well-tailored costumes on either side of the canopy and Kai standing behind him as his best man. ‘You threw a book at me when I told you, but look at us now’ he said teasingly and Chanyeol smiled. Everything else is a blur. There is only one thing Chanyeol remembers from that day and it’s the most important: Baekhyun. How dazzling he looked, dressed in his white tuxedo, standing next to Chanyeol like an angel on earth, under the beautiful flowers and sunlight. How Baekhyun was wearing a white iris on his lapel, because that flower was so special to him and he childishly thought it would bring them luck; and maybe it did. How he was smiling happily during every moment of that day, so beautifully and brightly, that Chanyeol thought he would soon go blind or that his heart would give out. He has never seen any other person looking happier. He has never felt happier.

He remembers one night in winter, way back, when he was only twenty one years old and studying like crazy for his university diploma –and partying like everyone else at that age every now and then. That night was an every-now-and-then occasion. Kai dragged him to that party where seemingly the whole university had been invited through the friend of a friend. Chanyeol had always been easy going, so parties where he knew no one didn’t bother him; he managed to make new friends every time. He was sitting on the side, talking casually with a few new people, when his eyes fell on a beautiful brunette. He was wearing tight leather pants and an oversized knit sweater in black color which revealed a bit of his collarbones as he danced. He was dancing so enchantingly, his lips smiling loosely and his cheeks slightly flushed from the heat on the dance floor. Everyone seemed to notice him, sparing him at least a second glance, but he didn’t seem to be interested in any of that; he just wanted to dance. Chanyeol had never been more mesmerized. When his smoldering brown eyes, heavily outlined with black eyeliner, crossed paths with Chanyeol’s awed stare, Chanyeol knew his eyes would never see anything else but him. He searched for two weeks until he got his name and another until he bumped into him by chance; his first words were ‘You’re the one from the party’. Out of so many people, Baekhyun noticed Chanyeol.

--

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun exclaims when the small angel girl points at him. Chanyeol feels his heart beating faster and his smile growing brilliant.

“Baekhyun!” he calls back. Chanyeol had missed Baekhyun’s voice. And he had missed his smile. So beautiful and sparkling.

Baekhyun leaves the other people in white and runs to Chanyeol with a huge smile on his lips. The angel girl strives to keep up, running behind Baekhyun, but nothing could ever stop Baekhyun from running to Chanyeol as fast as his feet could carry him. Chanyeol scoops him up in his arms the moment Baekhyun is within reach. He holds him tightly, close to himself. His precious little Baekhyun…He is here. Finally, he is.

“I’ve missed you so much” Baekhyun hums close to Chanyeol’s skin on his neck, his small arms clenching around him. Chanyeol kisses his hair with affection, breathing in the sweet scent of him that he had missed.

“I missed you too, Baek” he smiles at the sweet, familiar sound of his voice around the nickname that he hadn’t used in so long. He sets him back on his feet, but Baekhyun doesn’t move away; he stays in Chanyeol’s embrace, looking up at him with his gorgeous sparkling eyes.

“I…I’m so happy to see you! More than you can imagine!” Baekhyun caresses Chanyeol’s hair and then traces his eyes and his smile softly with his fingers, as if to make sure he is really there. Chanyeol only smiles at him, allowing him some time to adjust to their reunion. He is not in a hurry; he has the feeling that, from now on, they will have all the time in the world at their disposal.

“I’ve been waiting for you” he says calmly, brushing Baekhyun’s hair away from his face. So beautiful…

“I can see that” he smiles and his eyes glisten with unshed tears of joy “I only lasted two months without you”

“Two months?” So this is for how long Chanyeol has been waiting up here. It is not too long and it didn’t feel too long either, but now, as he is holding Baekhyun in his arms and the world seems shining brilliantly and perfectly in place again, all this time he had been missing his Baekhyun seems a terrible amount of time to be feeling incomplete.

“Yes” Baekhyun explains “After you died, I did my best to live normally like we used to, because I knew that it is what you would have wished for me. I went back to our house, I watered the plants and did the chores, I even had Chen come over and play chess with me once. But, without you, everything I did was half; it was half a life. One day, my heart stopped, just like that” Baekhyun entwines his fingers with Chanyeol’s. The familiar feeling of the soft, small hand gives butterflies in Chanyeol that flutter their wings in his chest.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Baek. It must have been scary” he says sadly. His condition didn’t allow him to feel fear or sorrow or pain for all the things he would leave behind; he didn’t even know what life was when he was dying. And yet, Baekhyun was there to console him, to say farewell. But Chanyeol was not there when Baekhyun was leaving the world of the living. He wasn’t there to tell him not to be afraid, to tell him that he would love him and remember him forever, to hold his hand to the last of his heartbeats. Baekhyun died alone.

“Don’t be sorry, Yeol” Baekhyun shakes his head and smiles reassuringly “I was neither scared nor sad. For a moment, I thought of Chen and how he would be lonely from now on, but then all I felt was peace. I knew I was coming to find you. I was so happy, I felt so…free. I love you, so much” he lifts himself on the tips of his toes to leave a sweet, gentle kiss on Chanyeol’s lips. When his feet step on the ground again, Chanyeol smiles widely. He would have felt the same, eager and happy to go to Baekhyun.

“Oh, I almost forgot! This is for you” Chanyeol produces the beautiful iris from behind his back and offers it to Baekhyun. It feels like the right thing to do; his hands would be itching to do it if he didn’t. Baekhyun takes the flower carefully, he examines it for a moment, with a beautiful smile gracing his lips, and then he turns to Chanyeol with a look of gratitude and adoration in his eyes. “I love you.”

“Excuse me” the little angel tugs on Chanyeol’s trousers gently to get his attention and both men turn to the cute girl “I need to explain something”

“What is it, sweetie?” Baekhyun asks gently and picks her in his arms. He looks so natural with a child in his arms; Chanyeol always felt bad for not being able to have a child with him; but it never felt like something was missing. With or without a child, their love was so fulfilling that they never had to wish for anything else but one another.

“He has been waiting for you because he couldn’t go through the Gates” the girl points at the huge glistening gates. Chanyeol didn’t know that he couldn’t go through; he just never felt like he should try. “He has been missing something”

“What have I been missing?” Chanyeol asks curious. He didn’t know he had not been whole all this while. He feels whole and his limbs are all in place, as far as he can tell…

“Your heart” the little angel answers simply “He has your heart” she pats Baekhyun on his chest.

“But I do have a heart inside me” Chanyeol insists; he can feel it beating, happily, now that Baekhyun is here. It is excited, Chanyeol can feel it under his hand on his chest.

“That’s his heart” she closes her little arms around Baekhyun’s neck.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol exchange a look and then they both smile. It is a strange occurrence, but Chanyeol always suspected it, he knew it; Baekhyun was, is and will be, after all, the love of his life. Chanyeol gave his heart to him many, many years ago.

“Well” the little angel claps her hands once “Now that you know everything, I don’t think there is any reason to keep you out here anymore. Go!” she leaps down to the ground gracefully, leaving Baekhyun’s arms free. Baekhyun immediately takes Chanyeol’s hand again, cradling it securely in his own.

“Are you ready, love?” Baekhyun smiles sneakily at Chanyeol “This is forever”

Chanyeol smiles and kisses Baekhyun on the temple. Ready? He has never wished for anything more in his life –and even after that.

“Oh, wait” Baekhyun suddenly remembers something and turns back to the angel. “Here” he says, offering her the iris “Keep it to remember us”

The little angel smiles gleefully, more brightly than ever, revealing a sparkling halo around her hair. She thanks them silently and then she watches from her place, as the two walk away, towards the Gates, holding hands and whispering things to each other, things that make them laugh and smile, in the way that makes flowers bloom inside the Garden. She has seen many people; happy, peaceful, kind, people from all over the world, who arrive here alone or with a loved one’s company. But she rarely sees so much love.

People, humans, hardly ever exchange hearts.