Chanyeol opens his eyes to a bright hospital room. He looks around bewildered and anxious for a moment, but then his eyes fall on Baekhyun, who is sitting beside his bed with a bright smile on his lips, and all the worries go away. Magically, just like that.

“Hey, sleepy head” he says softly.

“Baekhyun, what happened? Why am I in the hospital?” Chanyeol eyes worriedly the transparent IV fluid they have patched to his hand. What’s wrong with him?

Baekhyun takes a breath to answer and then he hesitates momentarily. This can’t be good; Baekhyun never hesitates. Or does he?

“We came for a checkup and you were not feeling very well, so they brought you here. You’re fine, just a bit dehydrated” he assures him in the end and Chanyeol nods.

It is strange though; he doesn’t remember coming here for a checkup. Last thing he remembers, he was at a park, taking a walk under autumn trees of amber colors.

“When will we be allowed to leave?” he asks like an impatient child. In spite of Baekhyun’s words, there is a looming feeling in Chanyeol’s heart; he feels like someone wants to keep him in this room, like there is an invisible anchor weighing his future down.

“Oh, soon, very soon. Don’t worry, my love” Baekhyun smiles and leans closer, leaving a sweet kiss on Chanyeol’s lips. Chanyeol feels his heart flutter in his chest; even after all this time, his heart gets excited. How long has it been?

He smiles back at the love of his life, feeling reassured. All this concern is just tricks of his imagination. He blames it on the environment; no one feels comfortable and safe in hospitals. It’s very sterile and dry in here, with a lingering scent of disinfectant.

Chanyeol leans back on his bed and Baekhyun smiles at him, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers. He loves Baekhyun’s smile; the way his lips curl and reveal his pearly teeth, the lines around his half-moon eyes, the bright light inside them…It is heartwarming, sweet, kind, beautiful, sparkling; just like Baekhyun.

He hopes they can go home soon and drink hot tea together, with the perfume of roses from the garden. Their home is very nice; Chanyeol picked it for Baekhyun. It has…It has two, no, three big windows in the kitchen, and a large living room. Chanyeol can’t remember right now if there is a fireplace there, but there is a garden outside. Yes, there is definitely a garden. It is not very big, but it is beautiful; Baekhyun makes it so.

Baekhyun loves irises and he plants them in the garden year after year for years, he spends hours and hours looking after them devotedly and, when they bloom, it is the most beautiful sight you have ever seen, like a small cloud of white velvet petals, glistening in the sun.

They are almost as beautiful as Baekhyun’s proud and happy smile when he looks at them.

--

Chanyeol wakes up in a hospital room, feeling very confused. His head is aching slightly but he has a feeling it will grow much worse soon. He feels a stab of pain on his back and he makes a face as he lifts himself on the bed to look around. He is not very comfortable in this bed, he feels like he has been lying there for half his life.

Baekhyun rises from the couch in the corner of the room and walks swiftly next to Chanyeol, with small, vigorous steps –Chanyeol always thought he looks like a puppy when he walks like that. He always walks like that when he runs to Chanyeol.

“Hey, Baek, why am I here?” he asks and then he clears his throat because his deep voice sounded strange just now, even to his own ears.

“It was just a checkup, but you needed to lie down for a minute, and then you fell asleep” Baekhyun smiles calmly and he softly brushes Chanyeol’s hair away from his forehead; Chanyeol likes it when he does that.

“Sounds like me” he chuckles with a smile. He falls asleep anywhere too easily; he has always had this ‘super power’ as Baekhyun calls it. Right? “Did you have to wait for long?”

“I was taking a nap, so I don’t mind” Baekhyun shrugs his shoulders with a carefree smile.

“You were sleeping on the couch? You shouldn’t, Baekhyun” Chanyeol chides him. He might hurt his neck or his back if he does that. He could have snuggled next to Chanyeol on the bed, even if it is small. But Baekhyun is selfless and he always puts the needs of others first, so he probably didn’t want to disturb Chanyeol in his sleep.

“I’ve slept under worse conditions” the shorter retorts with a sneaky smile; and Chanyeol can’t argue with that, so he only smiles in response.

Chanyeol remembers the time they went camping and they slept on itchy sand, but it was worth it, because the stars were so many and so bright above them, more beautiful than anything they had ever seen.

And that time when they were working on their final essays for university two days before the submission deadline and they fell asleep on the library chairs.

And that time when Baekhyun and Chanyeol shared Kyungsoo’s small couch after attending that concert that Baekhyun had wanted to go to so badly, and it was really late to drive home, but honestly, Chanyeol was overflowing from the couch and god knows how Baekhyun managed to sleep that night.

And that time when Baekhyun planted irises for the first time and ended up sleeping on the ground next to them, exhausted after finishing his work, for Chanyeol to find when he came back from the office.

And that time when Chanyeol offered to cook and it was taking so long that Baekhyun ended up sleeping with his head on the dinner table, because his husband is an incompetent cook and, as it was proven over the years, a kitchen hazard.

And then all those times they have slept together on the floor in front of the fireplace in the living room, curled closely to one another, because it feels a hundred times warmer and a hundred times safer that way.

Chanyeol realizes that it doesn’t matter where he sleeps and how he wakes up, as long as he is with Baekhyun.

--

Chanyeol wakes up and he is in the hospital. Panic floods him immediately, because there is never a good reason for someone to be lying in a hospital bed. He tries to squirm away, his breath hitches and his whole body is drenched with cold sweat instantly. He is scared of hospitals; his parents were gravely ill in such beds and he has linked everything inside these facilities with death and sadness.

“Chanyeol, it’s okay. Look at me, it’s okay” Baekhyun’s voice catches his attention in the midst of his fright. He looks at Baekhyun, who is standing next to his bed with round, innocent eyes, and he stops his rebellion, as if he has been struck by lightning. Baekhyun leans closer instantly and hugs him comfortingly, rocking back and forth.

“It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re okay” Baekhyun chants in Chanyeol’s hair and the taller clutches on him like his life depends on it. Slowly, the sweet scent of Baekhyun, the warmth of his small arms around him, the rhythm of his heartbeat, they bring a sense of safety and familiarity. Chanyeol’s heart slows down and his breath returns to normal.

“Why am I here?” he asks, his voice pitched with alarm. He shouldn’t be here. He should be home, with Baekhyun, where he belongs. Chanyeol doesn’t know where home is, but he knows he needs to be there.

“It is just a checkup” Baekhyun reassures him, pulling back slightly to look at him in the eyes.

“I am sorry…I am so scared of hospitals, Baek” Chanyeol explains breathless and remorseful.

“I know” Baekhyun caresses his hair softly “That’s why I am here”

Chanyeol smiles; what would he do without Baekhyun? Was there ever a time without Baekhyun? He glances at the wall and he notices the date. September? It seems like it was yesterday when they were celebrating Baekhyun’s birthday…

Chanyeol can’t remember how he spent a whole summer.

“Wow, times goes by so fast” he mumbles, trying to remember what he bought for Baekhyun on his birthday. Was it flowers? Baekhyun loves flowers; irises.

“Yes, it does…” Baekhyun agrees in a quiet voice, also looking at the calendar on the wall. It doesn’t look like he is really seeing the date though; his eyes wander far beyond.

He looks…sad. His pink lips are turned downwards and his chocolate eyes gleam strangely in the light, as if he is on the verge of tears. Chanyeol wonders why Baekhyun is so sad. It breaks Chanyeol’s heart. Chanyeol doesn’t know how he can comfort Baekhyun, but his body moves on its own, kissing the small man softly on the temple.

--

Chanyeol opens his eyes. There is a man in the room, he is sitting on the couch, reading a book. What is this room? He clears his throat to get the man’s attention; maybe he has some answers.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Chanyeol!” the man greets cheerfully and walks closer, leaving his book behind. Chanyeol notices the book: ‘The Emigrant’.

‘Likewise, I was waiting for you

to come yesterday, likewise,

away from you, it’s a desolate

and dark life.’

What was that?

Chanyeol looks at the man again. He looks so cute, like a puppy, with every small step he takes towards him. Chanyeol notices the smile from closer distance and that brings a smile on Chanyeol’s lips automatically. His best friend Kai always says he gets easily carried away by other people’s smiles.

“It’s Baekhyun!” Baekhyun?

“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol exclaims happily, remembering him instantly. How didn’t he realize it earlier? He is the only one so small and beautiful in Chanyeol’s eyes. Kai said something about how Chanyeol is smitten with Baekhyun once, back in their shared dorm room, and Chanyeol threw him a pillow, no, it was a…a book, because he didn’t want anyone to know about those feelings but…but it is not clear if Baekhyun ever found out. Maybe he should ask Kai before he embarrasses himself –he is a great master at doing that. “Where is Kai?”

“Kai?”

“Yes, my friend, Kai; I want to ask him about something” Baekhyun gives him a serious look, full of thoughts. Doesn’t he know Kai? Chanyeol tries to remember what Kai looks like, or how he speaks, or where he usually spends his time, in case that helps Baekhyun remember him.

Wait, there was another one who was always with Kai and Baekhyun might remember…that little guy with the huge eyes…oh, right!

“He is always with his boyfriend, Kyungsoo” Right? “They are joined at the hip so, if you find one, you find the other. Do you know where they are?” If Chanyeol is in the hospital, as he figured by the IV next to him and the antiseptic smell, Kai had better visit him soon, or else what sort of best friend is he?

“Um, Kai and Kyungsoo are…not…available” Baekhyun says carefully. Oh, so Baekhyun remembers Kai? Chanyeol crooks his eyebrows. Not available? He can’t recall Kai saying anything…

“Why?”

“They are…um…” Baekhyun presses his lips for a minute, looking at Chanyeol in the eyes steadily with his puppy cute stare “On vacation. Yeah, they are on vacation and I can’t reach them” Ah…

“Do you know when they will be back?” Maybe Chanyeol missed the part where Kai told him he was going on vacation; it wouldn’t be the first time he tuned out his friend’s constant blabbering…Baekhyun chuckles and smiles.

“Meh, it was a romantic gesture, so they are leaving that open for now; they don’t know when they might decide to come home”

“Probably when they will run out of money” Chanyeol murmurs with a faint smile. Kai adored Kyungsoo, so there is no way he is coming back from vacation with him, willingly… “We should call them when they come back” he suggests “We could all go for dinner together” That did not sound like a double date. Baekhyun smiles beautifully, making his heart skip a beat.

“Sure, let’s do that”

A small pause ensues. Chanyeol feels very awkward and embarrassed. He is in the hospital and Baekhyun is here…

“So…did Kai ever…tell you anything?” Chanyeol tries to sound casual. He doesn’t know what else to say. When you cannot remember much, your world becomes small.

“Uh, like what?” Baekhyun tilts his head to the side with confusion. Chanyeol fidgets nervously.

“Ah, you know, about me and…and possibly, you…?”

“I don’t think so” Baekhyun shakes his head and crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Chanyeol, what are you trying to say?” his eyebrows remain frowning in bewilderment but a smile forms slowly on his lips. Chanyeol feels at a loss and looks around nervously, his heart beating fast inside his chest.

“I…uh…I…” his eyes lock with Baekhyun’s accidentally and then his lips move on their own “You’re so beautiful” Well, now he knows.