Believing (Beliefs)

“Wake up.”

I gasped awake at the sound of the voice. My  heart felt as if it was going to stop as I came to my senses. It was still nighttime, my  room still dark with the slight illumination from the moon. A cool breeze blew through the room offering a cool relief to my forehead that was covered in slight sweat. The girl was no longer in my room, the figure that seemed so real now made me wonder if she was really there to begin with. Instead of the girl near my bed, there was the face of a boy staring at my own as if he was unsurely studying my reactions.

As I started to recognize my surrounding and was about to let out a shriek the boy’s hand came and covered my mouth, muffling any sound that could have come out.

“Shh,” The boy hushed. “It’s me, Kai.”

The moonlight irradiated onto the male’s face in the dark room. I could make out the dark hair that fell against the other’s tan skin, the shape of his face that slowly started to come closer to mine as I peered at him. I couldn’t tell with the beats slowly arising were due to the shock of the situation or from something else...

“Are you okay?” Kai whispered, looking over me once more.

I uttered something incoherent that Kai couldn’t seem to make out so the boy settled for moving his hand from the my mouth. “What did you say?”

“I said,” I hissed out quietly, keeping in mind that we were still in a household with other people who are trying to sleep. “What are you doing in my room? How did you even get inside of here? I’m going to call the police.”

Before I could move, Kai grabbed my arm, stopping me from making a move. “Chill.” Kai frowned. “I came in through the window.”

I looked over to the window near the tree between our houses that was now opened, sending in the now explained breeze into my room.

“Why the hell are you in my room, then?” I glared.

“I heard you whimpering and shouting when I was walking past my window.” Kai explained, letting out a sigh as he loosened the hold on me. “I’m surprised that your parents didn't wake up and hear you.”

My face softened as he stared at Kai. The recollection of my fright was still in my mind but a new thought started to bloom. Why did he come across to check on me? We barely even talked nor met each other. Honestly, I thought that Kai would try to be mean to me, but it seems...

“That still doesn’t justify you breaking and entering inside of my room.” I huffed, turning my warming face away from Kai.

“What?” Kai almost yelled to loudly, having to cover his mouth before speaking again. “That’s the thanks I get  for me coming and checking if you weren’t dead?!”

“Why would you care if I was dead?” The question left my mouth without me putting much thought into it. I let my emotions respond to the situation. “We don’t even know each other!”

There was a silence in the room as the cold breeze came in, so cold that it made me want to rub my hands to create warm friction. Kai looked at me with blank eyes before he stood up, walking away towards the window.

“I’ll let you die next time.”

Those cold words were the last thing that I heard that night, and for a while, from the boy.

The silence of the house was the first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes in the morning. No sound of shuffling shoes, no sound of faint clattering utensils. There was nothing.

I blinked, eyes staring up at the ceiling before landing on the open window that stayed open, welcoming in the soft morning breeze to run around freely in my room.

My eyelids slid down while I let out a deep exhale. So what had happened earlier wasn’t a dream. I opened up my eyes again and stared at the space in my room. But just how much of what happen during the night wasn’t a dream I wondered.

With another soft sigh, I pushed myself out of bed, rubbing my  arms at the cold feeling that hung around me. Grabbing my phone on the way, I stopped near my door by the dresser where I saw a small note from my mother.

‘We are going out to find some new things for the living room. Didn’t want to wake you.

P.S: Sorry, but you have to make you own breakfast sweetie.

-Love, Mom’

Putting the note back where I found it,  I trudged down the hall only to stop after a couple of steps. Something didn’t feel right. Furrowing up my eyebrows I looked behind me.

Nothing. The clear hallways seemed to have mocked me and my paranoia.

With another second of a skeptic look, I shook my head, continuing on my route to the kitchen while I hummed a light song.

I stepped,

and stepped,

and stepped,

then I stopped.

This time when I turned around, I caught a small glimpse of white from the corner of my eye. My body froze, flashes of the night went through my mind. I wanted to run in fear yet curiosity  drove me to want to see if that girl was there. If everything I saw before was real.

And to know why I was seeing her here.

Did I believe in ghost at this point? Would you? Well seeing is believing, right? And I wanted to see her now.

I entered into the kitchen, unlocking my phone as I turned to my music playing from whichever of the songs was put on there. Washing my hands, I moved to the refrigerator to grabbed some eggs.

But from the behind the open door, I didn’t see the figure in the doorway watching me move.

But I felt it.

The small hum transformed into singing as I closed the fridge door glancing at the empty doorway in the midst of the peripheral sweep of my eyes as I turned to walk to the counter, setting the items down as I sang into the chorus of the song.

I was in the middle of the song’s verse when my body froze as cold air hit my skin, goosebumps rising as I held down the chill that wanted to shake through my body.

I turned my head and saw who had been watching me.

The girl, the same girl I had seen - or thought I had seen-  was there in the kitchen across from him. She wasn’t terrifying as she was before, she looked more of the normal state. Her dark hair fell over her shoulders and to the back, contrasting against the white dress she was wearing. She wore no shoes, her bare feet ghastly against the tiled floor. was tightly shut, the stitches through it gone but the backs still slightly present. And her big dark eyes, studying over me in a mix of emotions, but she seemed for the most of things, neutral. She didn’t try to run at me like those in the horror movie, she seemed to be curiously watching me instead.

Any other time, I would have screamed, ran, cried on the spot... but I strangely found himself unbothered.

If she wasn’t scaring me, why should I be scared of her? Weren’t all ghost on earth for a reason?

“Hello.” I greeted softly, but warily. “I... I’m Kyungsoo.”

The ghost continued to stare, eyes unblinking but focused on me.

“Can... you speak?” I tried again, almost feeling silly for trying to talk to a ghost. But the ghost didn’t reply. “Do you not want to speak?”

Silence.

“It’s okay, I don’t like speaking a lot myself either.” I admitted. “I usually open up more to people I get comfortable to. Like my friend Baekhyun. He’s really sassy but easily lovable.”

I rambled on unconsciously as I turned my back and began to cut up food on the counter. The presence of the girl brought it out in me, opening up easier to the entity than I could do with kids at school.

“You probably noticed but I just moved into this house. It’s a nice house actually. I wondered why it was so easily offered but I guess- Whoa,” I stumbled back when I turned to the side, the ghost was suddenly next to me, in front of me, near my face. I unconsciously moved back, watching her as to what she was doing. The girl was glancing over the food and then back to me. Eyes seeming to silently be trying to communicate.

What are you making?

“Oh, I don’t know what I’m cooking yet, I just grabbed some things to make together.” I moved to the lower cabinets to grab a pan, sitting it on the stove and turning the fire on. I walked over to grab the food and put it in the pan. “I would let you try some if you could... y’know, eat.”

The girl stared.

“Ghost can’t eat, right?”

The girl frowned, eyebrows furrowing with her expression.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no, we can’t eat’ then.” I chuckled to myself.

The doorbell echoed through the house.

“Coming!” I shouted as I walked to the front door. Opening it, I saw Suho standing there, and I couldn’t help the smile that came on my face. “Suho.”

“Good morning, Kyungsoo.” He smiled, making my heart flutter. It all sounds a bit girly when I  say so now. “I was going to see if you wanted to hang out again today. I mean, we don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to but-”

“Just come inside.” I laughed. After spending time with the other, I got use to Suho’s tendency to have a mini ramble in his words.

Suho stepped inside, sniffing the air. “Is something burning?”

My eyes shot wide. “Crap!”

I rushed to the kitchen with Suho behind me as I saw a small cloud of smoke come from the pan but I stopped when I noticed two things.

The fire was turned off already and the girl was gone.

“Did you forget that you burnt your food? I thought you said you were a good cook.” Suho joked, seeing there was no real danger.

I playfully hit his arm. “I said my friends think I am I good cook and I didn’t burn my food! It’s your fault it happened.”

“Sure.” Suho laughed more when I hit his arm again.

I looked over the food. They weren’t that burnt at least. But the question still popped up in my head.

Did the girl turn off the fire for me?

Why did she turn it off for me?

Will she be here to protect me then?

I smiled at the thought. She would be my guardian angel rather than a vengeful ghost. “Do you want some food?”

“For someone who burns their food, it is still very good.” Suho complimented.

We relocated into the livingroom where we were watching the some show on the TV that I assumed my dad finally put up this morning.

I rolled my eyes, but the smile was there on my face. “Thank you.”

“You should make a lunch for me when school starts next month.” Suho smiled suggestively.

“That’s something that a girlfriend would do.” I said.

Suho just smiled warmly, looking at the TV screen. I found myself blushing, turning my attention to the TV as well. Was the action because of emotion or was it because of what I was inner trying to apply. In all honesty I haven’t heard Suho mention anything about his past relations but that they had existed. Curiosity can be my strength, my quality that could help me find light in the dark...

But sometimes I feel like it can be a tragic flaw.

“Did your last girlfriend cook for you?” I asked, leaning back against the couch.

“Yes,” Suho admitted, arms moving on the back of the couch and behind me. We were sitting close to each other and I could feel the warmth radiating from Suho, smell the faint scent of his cologne. “She wasn’t the best,” He laughed softly,  “But I still loved how hard she tried.”

I hummed, studying the other’s face. Suho’s eyes looked blankly at the TV screen, seeming to be in thought of something now. “It sounds like you really loved her.”

“I did.” Suho sighed, eyes looking into mine. “I loved her a lot.”

“What happened?”

Suho’s eyes changed, they darkened stiffly before softening back. But I saw it all. The dark look of betrayal and anger, but then the sorrow, the pain, and hurt that followed after. But there was something else in there... as if he were bound to the untold secrets he held inside.

He turned his eyes back to the TV. “She cheated on me.”

“Oh,” I sunk back, feeling guilty for asking. “That .”

Suho let out a laugh, gently turning my face to look at him. “It’s fine. You were just curios right? You can ask me anything you want. I want you to open up to me.”

I knew I was blushing again. I didn’t have many... I didn’t have any relationships before so I couldn’t help the racing feeling Suho gave me.  The joyful feeling of someone actually wanting me and that they felt interested in me of all people.

“Uh,” I tried to think through the loud inner thumping of my heart. “Can you tell me more about Kai?”

I mentally slapped myself. I don’t know why I changed the topic to him. Maybe it was because I still remembered the scenes from the night or maybe because it was someone else I still held questions for.

“Kai?” Suho frown, but sighed out in disappointment. “I can tell you that he doesn’t like me. He goes off at night on his motorcycle and comes back early in the morning. I’m not sure what he does but anyone who knows Kai has some rumor about him. His cold attitude and the bruises he gets at times make people believe he’s in a gang.”

“Do you believe that?” I asked. Is Kai actually dangerous? Although he did somehow sneak into my room, it seemed only out a concern. I was believing Kai was actually a soft person.

“Sometimes.” Suho admitted. “I do believe he is a bad person, but I’m not one to judge anyone.”

I only nodded. If Kai really was bad, why did he hate Suho? And the latter vice versa?

I turned my eyes, and in held surprise, saw the girl watching from the doorway. Half her body out, the rest hiding behind the frame. But the air on her now was a bit different, but it was something else I couldn’t describe at the time.

“Hey Suho...” I started. “Do you believe in ghost?”

I didn’t get to see his face reaction to my question but when I turned back my eyes to him I saw that his gaze had followed my on to the empty doorway.

“Ghost don’t exist.” He stated firmly, but I feel like there was doubt in his own words when he said them.

“But if you saw one...?”

I watched as Suho looked up in thought.

“Then,” Suho said, “ I would have no other choice then but to believe.”