College is an interesting place. Lol.
Anyway, the last chapter wasn't terribly exciting, but this one was very fun to write. I'm also pupmped for the sixth chapter, which isn't done yet, but will be completely silly when it is. Man, romcoms are so fun. There's a lot more Sass-Master Lu than I originally intended in this, but so far, it hasn't turned out as I intended at all, and I'm just kind of going with whatever my brain comes up with.

In other news *weeps for EunB and Ladies' Code* WAHHH THIS IS A SAD YEAR FOR KPOP. LIKE ONLY TAEMIN AND SUJU ARE KEEPING ME GOING KPOP-WISE RIGHT NOW. And Kara's Mamma Mia. Such a catchy song! Maybe I should put Kara memebers in here...

  Chapter Five: Lulu

Despite his own wishes, Luhan found something new to love about earth:

Earth chicken.

The cafeteria at his new school served what was considered to be surprisingly good food. Yesterday, they had been serving pasta, but today, it was chicken, and it was delicious. Whoever invented the recipe needed to hurry up and die so they could have this kind of food in heaven, Luhan mused.

Suddenly, he heard a laugh. He looked up to see Jongin smiling at him. “Do they not have such good food in China or something?” Next to Luhan, Boyeon paled. It was obvious that she wasn’t keen on having Jongin in on their secret just yet. She actually had been planning to use lunch to talk to Luhan about Baekhyun, but Taemin and Jongin had invited themselves over to their table.

“Well, I mean, they do, but Korean food is a bit different from Chinese food. I think they use different spices or something,” Luhan said smoothly. He honestly had no idea what Chinese food even tasted like, but it seemed a passable excuse. Boyeon let out a relieved sigh, and Taemin was smiling cheekily like he always was. Luhan was starting to understand why Boyeon called Taemin “King of the Dorks.”

Jongin was still giving Luhan a strange look, and the boy began to panic. “Um, I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” he said quickly before standing up from his seat and hurrying out the cafeteria.

Luhan shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked down the hallway. He thought he knew where the bathroom was. Had it moved since yesterday? He peeked around a corner and was about to give up the whole thing and just go back to his friends when he heard a shrill cry of “LULU~!”

He cringed and began the agonizingly slow turn to face that sill earth girl from yesterday – her name was Cha Hyojin, but frankly, Luhan didn’t care half of a rat’s patootie what her name was. But what he did care was that she was sauntering up to him, her little posse trailing behind her.

“Lulu!” she called again when she got closer. “What are you doing outside the lunch room?”

“I already asked you not to call me that,” Luhan said slowly, biting back the urge to snap at her.

Cha Hyojin chose to ignore him and walk closer. “You know, you’re really handsome. You’re not dating Han Boyeon, are you? You could do so much better than her.”

“I’m not dating Boyeon. We’re just friends. And there’s nothing wrong with her.” Well, maybe except the fact that she was in love with someone she barely knew. Other than that, Boyeon was pretty okay by Luhan’s standards.

“If you’re not dating her, then, would you like to go out with me?”

“No.” Even though Luhan said this, Hyojin just kept walking closer to him. Feeling desperate, he did the only thing to do:

Run for his life.

He took down the hall, going even faster when he heard Hyojin calling after him. He turned around and saw that she was following him! She wasn’t running, but she was walking in his direction and that was more than enough motivation for Luhan to run even faster.

What was so hard to understand about “no?” Even babies knew what it meant! Were earth girls thick-headed in addition to being brash?

 He skidded around a corner only to find that it was a dead end. Ironically, though, he had finally found the bathroom, so he darted inside the men’s room and breathed a sigh of relief.

He had never been so relieved in his life.

But he’d still have to face that horrible girl when he went back to class. He had half a mind to try to transfer classes, but that meant leaving Boyeon and Baekhyun, and he was supposed to be making some sort of spark appear between the two.

Pfft.

 Luhan jumped when he heard a knock on the door. “Luhan?” a voice called. The boy in question was briefly afraid that his new stalker had found him, but then his shoulders sagged in relief. It was Boyeon. “Luhan, are you there? Do you need me to take you back to class?”

He opened the door. “Hey.”

Boyeon’s face lit up. “You were in there! Thank goodness! I was afraid I was doing something really embarrassing.”

Luhan ignored her and looked around the hallway. “Have you seen a mildly y-looking girl around?”

“No,” Boyeon said innocently. “Luhan, the bell already rang. We’ve got to–”

“Shhh,” Luhan said, putting a finger over her lips. He would not rest until he was entirely sure that girl had gone away. He peeked around the corners, and Boyeon gave him an odd look.

“Who are you–” Once again, she didn’t get to finish her sentence, because right then, someone rounded the corner and let out an “oh” upon seeing Boyeon and Luhan. The poor Boyeon felt weak in the knees, because standing right in front of them was Byun Baekhyun, in all his – arguable, according to Luhan – glory.

Luhan resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Boyeon’s love-struck face. She was blatantly staring with open, and all Baekhyun did was stand there with this odd smirk on his face. He tilted his head to the side. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No!” Boyeon said a little too quickly. “I was just – I mean, I thought he was lost and I went to go find him and–”

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”

Boyeon could have died on the spot.

This was the longest she had talked to Baekhyun in years, and he thought she had something going on with Luhan of all people? He was literally the last boy in whom she’d be interested, because:

1. he was supposed to help her get Baekhyun and

2. he wasn’t exactly from earth.

But Baekhyun didn’t know any of that, so he simply winked at the two. “You were ‘helping’ the transfer student get back to class, right, Han Boyeon-ssi?” And with that, he walked inside the bathroom.

Luhan snorted. “Remind me why you like him so much?”

But Boyeon was already too far gone. “He knows my name. I can’t believe he knows my name.”

Luhan gave into the urge to roll his eyes this time.

Why can't I get Luhan to solve all my problems? *weeps*

And yay, Baekhyun finally shows up! Took me long enough to put him in here.

And Taemin's Ace video I can't ahhh I feel weird writing him here bc he's all ahhhhhhhh like I can't. Words are hard right now. So many feels