"Exo, we are one!"

They were supposed to be one. All of them with their blood and sweat, promised one another that they'll go through the depths of hell together. A lie. A facade. Betrayals hurt the most when they're from a close one of the heart and Kris wasn't just anybody. He was the heart of EXO. 

Xiumin is the chosen one. The only member in EXO that Kris has chosen to stay in contact with. With EXO collapsing and realizing secrets about each other, crumbling beneath their  cheerful masks; it's up to Xiumin to peice the broken clues of Kris, which is the key to help EXO as eleven survive. 

Excerpt from Blur (chapter 3)

“This is how you guys are going to perform Mama. Luhan will take over Kris’s spot with Xiumin and Tao switching every now and then from the original position. Got it? Okay, let’s start boys!” Their dance instructor commanded. Xiumin grimaced. It felt a little humiliating to practice the dance with only five members. It felt like the EXOK members were the lead group. The two groups felt no longer equal. Unbalanced. Especially in dances like MAMA and History where EXOK and EXOM were divided in dancing, Xiumin hated practicing for these dances the most. To Xiumin, he felt the pain of Kris’s absence more when he only practiced dance routines with his EXOM members. It wasn’t fair.

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One. Two . Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Exhale. Inhale. There was a dull pain in the back of Xiumin’s head, but he ignored the growing aches of pain. Grunting, he hauled himself up with his thighs and a small help of the hand pushing off the ground, the EXO members had practiced the most stunning move in Growl. The faces of his manager and the CEO of SM entertainment had cropped up into his mind, and Xiumin viciously shook all dangerous thoughts venturing and wondering what the two adults were discussing about. He didn’t have time to wonder about meaningless things. Grunting, Xiumin shut his mind off and soon only the voice of Kai singing his rap solo consumed his thoughts.

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“What’s wrong Kyungsoo?”

“Nothing.” There was a small sniffle from the other end.

“You’re crying.”

“No. I’m not.”

“Whatever then.” Closing the door of the vocal room, Xiumin sighed. His own heart shook. It felt nice to know that he wasn’t the only one keeping his feelings bottled up. To an outsider, they would feel like EXO showed no emotions by the way they were acting the last two days. All of them only focused on perfecting “EXO” without Kris for the biggest concert of their lives. Xiumin included. He himself, fooled that they were not robots by the way they were acting.

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Xiumin barfed. Gagging in the toilet, Xiumin coughed up the remains of his lunch. Wrinkling his nose, he was disgusted at how he failed to manage his meals. He had eaten his lunch way too fast and this was the consequence. Wiping his mouth with the back of his mouth, Xiumin hurriedly flushed the disgusting remains of his sandwich, wobbling out of the washroom. Damn, he wished for the strongest mouthwash right now. He’d hated to think singing with his breath stinking like Chanyeol’s shoes.

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Xiumin tried not to show any emotion. It was official. The statement was clear. Kris would not be coming back to show up for the concert. They all knew that but it hurt nonetheless knowing that it was now an official statement. However, everybody knew what their CEO hyungnim was implying. Kris would not be coming back to EXO. Ever.