[CONTENTID2] Chasing the Impossible [/CONTENTID2][CONTENTID1]That time of the year had come again and the walk from home to school was something he had gotten used to during the previous year. When he looked at himself in the mirror that day, he didn’t know if he wanted to laugh at himself or cry tears he had long to let go.

He hadn’t changed much during the past months. He might have taken a couple centimeters in height and lost weight due to daily walking one and half hours, and his hair had also gotten longer since it’d been a while since he got a haircut and the ends touched his shoulders by now. But, something hadn’t changed.

The city hadn’t changed into his hometown, his house hadn’t changed into his home, his school was not changed into his old one and his life had not changed into his happy one either. He was still a floating buoy trying to not drown because the time had graced it with lots and lots of hurricanes by now. Not even his choice of clothing changed; all black, cap, scarf.

It was scary, but he also found himself feeling nothing.

Not even his muscles screamed in protest when he walked the distance, not even his ears picked up the gossip and whispering which had gradually become too rare by now. Luhan couldn’t even find any emotion to spare when he looked his classmates in the eye the way he used to glare at them when they talked about him behind his back. He felt nothing.

He would plop in his chair in his new classroom, pull out his notebook and turn pages and pages of doodles until he reached a blank one and he would start drawing down whatever the music playing in his ears gave him inspiration to. His cell phone was always thrown on the surface of the desk as he doodled his time away by listening to wild songs of metal and rock just for the sake of the loud sounds that distracted him from the outside world.

When the song ended and he wanted to listen to it again, he looked up from his notebook for the first time since he sat down, going for the old device on the desk, but having his eyes meet another pair instead.

The boy was dressed in plain sports clothes but one way or another—and Luhan had no idea which—he appeared so handsome and good-looking and although Luhan knew he shouldn’t, he kept staring into those captivating brown eyes which looked back with equal curiosity. His hair was cut short and it was a nice shade of brown, his face, eyes, nose and even lips looked round. His body frame was also pretty thin yet Luhan could see the obvious muscles peeking out from the t-shirt the other wore.

He wasn’t sure why he was staring but when he finally pulled his eyes down on the cell phone, he could feel his chest ache from the wild pumping his heart did against his ribcage and by the way his reflection on his cell phone’s screen showed his slightly wide eyes and parted lips, he knew this was something unnatural. Because it had been over a year since his heart beat this fast and it was also the first time in a long while since he found an expression on his face.

He could still feel stares on him and he thanked his cap for hiding his face from prying eyes. Just when he was about to change the playlist and put on the song that was practically at fault for making him face the other boy, he was jerked startled by the chair next to him being taken. Looking up he found wide eyes staring at him and he forced a light smile on his lips while he pulled out an earplug.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

Kyungsoo was his new and only friend since he stepped foot in there. Although it had taken a couple months till Kyungsoo opened up to him (because Kyungsoo was afraid of him and the grim look he often sported), once they found one thing they had in common, they bonded pretty fast. They were still quite different and edgy and their relationship was still more taking than giving but Luhan wouldn’t complain either when the brunette was the only person he could kind of freely talk to.

“How are you? Did you sleep well?” Kyungsoo asked as he started taking out his books and pens and other stuff Luhan never bothered to bring along with him to school.

“I am fine. I didn’t get that much rest though…” Luhan’s sleeping pattern was unhealthy and he would be lucky if he was able to sleep six hours in one night. Today, though, his brain worked on three and a beer he had grabbed on his way there after ‘borrowing’ some cash from his mother’s purse. “How about you?”

“I’m great, thank you for asking.”

Their everyday talk would end there until break time and it was of the furthest conversations they would do most of the time. Which was, sometimes, more than enough for Luhan. Subtly, Luhan tried to take a glance at the boy he had locked eyes with previously, but he found his back retreating for the door and Luhan grabbed the opportunity to poke Kyungsoo and ask him once he was paying attention to him.

“Who’s that boy?”

“Hmm?” Kyungsoo hummed in question, looking up and at the direction Luhan pointed with his eyes. “That’s Minseok,” He stated with almost no interest, looking back at the book in his hands.

Luhan wasn’t sure if the answer was that simple or if Kyungsoo was trying to avoid him and study last minute stuff instead. Growling in his head, he leaned over his desk, his finger poking one shoulder and the person turned around, wild slightly curly hair following the whip of his head.

“What’s up?” Baekhyun was another classmate he had gotten to know the past year. He was fun to talk to and Luhan would often strive to him when he wanted to tell a dirty joke or a joke altogether—Kyungsoo was too serious for that and he never found that appealing anyways. Despite having a handful of flaws, Baekhyun made a decent friend, in all honesty.

The blonde sitting by him also turned around with interest and smiled. His name was Sehun and he had met him along with Baekhyun. The two of them were close friends and he had somehow made a small spot in between them, and he would often hang out with them during breaks when Kyungsoo ignored him. “Hey,” He said with his nasal voice and Luhan smiled back at the duo.

“Who was that one you spoke to?”

Baekhyun seemed confused and Sehun gave him a look. “Who?” Sehun asked in the end.

“That boy with short brown hair and thin and round face… The one who was standing there a couple minutes ago,” Luhan pointed at the side of their desk and he wondered if his staring was too obvious by his words now.

“Him?” Baekhyun eyed him weirdly. “He’s Minseok, you’ve met him,” When Luhan blinked his eyes in confusion and surprise, Sehun rolled his eyes.

“You had met him last year a couple times. He had slightly longer hair and he has lost some weight as well,” At Luhan’s blinking, he continued. “I know as a fact that you have met him before.”

“Have I?” Luhan honestly couldn’t recall the other. It felt like they were teasing him because he couldn’t remember that face. And as much as he tried to remember, it was as if he was trying to recall something that had never happened. There was nothing… there was a blank spot attached to the name Minseok. It even felt foreign on his tongue. He had never used it before and he surely didn’t remember shaking hands with any Minseok in his life either. He couldn’t but wonder if they were pulling a prank on him and trying to make him feel crazy—which, in a sense, they succeeded doing anyways.

“I will introduce you to him again, if that’s the problem.” Sehun offered and Luhan nodded his head curtly, sitting back into his seat a little shell-shocked. Sehun couldn’t keep a straight face when lying even if his life depended on it, and the way he had just blurted the suggestion right now made Luhan feel stupid.

Seriously, he felt the most stupid since his birth.

Was it even possible to meet someone and forget them entirely? Forget they exist? It was impossible in Luhan’s opinion but what could he be sure of anymore? The way his brain worked often made him wonder his sanity because God, Sehun was not lying about this.

The bell rang but he didn’t even flinch like he normally does when it echoes—he’s easily startled. He plainly sat back in his chair, eyes wide and staring off into the distance and not focusing on anything. It wasn’t that he was thinking of something that much, no, he was more of wondering what the hell he’d been doing when he was introduced to that good-looking boy. It was unnatural and it was strange and Luhan maybe or maybe not spent the first couple lessons of the day fighting waves and waves of other memories in search of the one where he met the boy.

Minseok.

But he was only met with more blank spots of events which had happened.

**

Like promised, Sehun and Baekhyun led him to the classroom Minseok was in and to his even greater surprise, it was located on the same hallway just a door down south and he was even in the same grade as them. The more he learned, the more Luhan was unsure of his brain’s existence. Piece by piece of information was slowly picking at his sanity.

The trio stood by the door and Sehun gestured for Minseok to walk out and when he did, he showed a small smile. “Luhan, this is Minseok. Minseok, this is Luhan,” He gestured from one to the other quickly with a bored expression since it was a repeated scene of one year ago.

“I know him…” Minseok said a little confused and Baekhyun rolled his eyes at him as if th