Few months passed and man was my time getting shorter. Last month, the doctor said I have reached stage 3, meaning I was going to die soon. I had a 20-30% chance of living and honestly I did not care if I live or die. They are both painful to me. 

Jongin has been busy with his wedding plans and rarely has time to visit me at home. And everytime he came over, I lied over and over again, saying I was totally fine. Though I cried at night at times because of the pain the cancer was giving me and the pain my broken heart was giving me also. 

One night I looked at myself in the mirror and took my scissors and chopped all my hair off.

My mother thought I was going through depression and assigned me to a ''help group.'' I went every weekend hearing other peoples problems and I sulked not giving a damn. Then the same night I cut my hair, my mom came in my room and gave me an envelope.

"Honey here, just don't get mad," she reassured as she handed the envelope.

"Why would I be mad?" I scoffed and started ripping the envelope up. There, I stood frozen as I blinked over and over again. It was an invitation to Kai and Krystals wedding. I held in my tears and faked smiled at my mother. "Mom, I'm fine. I'll go, are you?"

"I can't sweetie, I have work that day... but just still go okay? It'll mean the world to Jongin and you know it." I nodded carefully. She left my room quietly and closed the door. I bit my lip hardly, trying to hold in my screams. Tears started rolling off my eyes. I was dying slowly. I wanted it to end already.

"Bestfriend!" Kai gave me a back hug.

"Aish, get off me you rag," I chuckled.

"Ey, if you keep talking like that how are you ever going to find a boyfriend? Eh?" He nudged me lightly.

"Admit Kai, I will never have a boyfriend. Unlike you, dating all the girls you want." I looked at him and rolled my eyes playfully.

"Is my best friend getting jealous?" He began tickling me.

"Pft. Jealous? Please Kai, not in a million years." I laughed and tickled him back.

"Ey, besides you'll be number one girl no matter what, alright?" He ruffled my hair and made my hair messily.

"Mhm, promise?" I held my pinky out.

"Promise!" He smiled brightly and pinky swore.

I looked down as the memory came crossed my mind. The day where Kai actually called me his girl, his number one girl. The day he promised that I WAS his number one girl no matter what. But its all different now. High school days were no joke. I missed it badly.

I shook my head and laid back in bed. I looked up at the ceiling and began reminscing again.

"Best friend!" I jolted from surprise as Kai and Krystal opened my bedroom door, "Ey, you're still in bed? Get up best friend!  You need to try out your bridesmaid dress! Didn't umma tell you?"

"Mhm," I shook my head and replied,"Aniyo, she probably has forgot. And bridesmaid? I'm a bridesmaid?"

"Of course, you're Jongins bestfriend and you're my close unnie!" Krystal cheered. I hated every bit of her smile but I needed to act nice and smiled.

"Maybe sometime later? I'm not feeling good-"

Krystal unexpectedly pulled me out of bed and my eyes started getting blurry. "Here's your dress!" She shoved the dress in front of face. I tried grabbing the dress but failed as I fainted onto the floor. The last thing I heard was Jongin screaming my name.

I woke up with a huge headache and blinked a few times. I was the operating room. I looked around, looking for my doctor or my mom because I had no idea what was going on. Then I felt a hand touch mine.

"Sulli, are you o-okay?" I heard Jongins voice go weak. I wondered if he knew my secret now.

"I'm fine Kai."

"How come you didn't tell me?" he asked.

"Tell you what?" I acted as if I didn't know.  This was impossible, he can't know. Everything will be ruined!

"That you've had a fever for how long, I could've tooken care of you while umma was out." I sighed in relief.

I shook my head and held his hand tightly,"Kai, you have a wife now well soon to be. She's your number one priorty now."

"True, but still." My heart froze as I thought he'd rebut my answer. He did forget about his promise, I was nothing to him anymore.

I let go of his hand and uttered,"No butts mister. Take care of her while you still have her."

"Ey since when did you get so emotional?" I chuckled half-heartedly and didn't answer. It got awkward and he decided to change the subject. We chatted about his wedding and I pretended to act like I care.

It was the day of the wedding and time as death was coming near me.

I honestly did not want to go to their wedding even if I was their bridesmaid. I laid in bed and bummed all day until I heard my phone ring.

"Sulli where are you?" Krystal angrily said.

"Home," I said coldly.

"You need to be here in twenty minutes! Please for once, be useful in Kai's life." This girl was getting on the very top of my anger bucket.

"Fine, I'll be there." I hung up and growled. I changed into my dress and drove to the wedding chapel. Thanks to the traffic, I came like an hour late. I ran inside but as soon as I opened the door, they were kissing already. I gripped on my dress and ran out before anyone could see me.

I slammed my car door before buckling my seatbelt and driving out as fast as I can.

Then my eyes started to blur once again. I began panicking because I couldn't see the road.

Out of nowhere, all I saw now was white.

a/n: another update! thank you for all of your support, upvotes, and subscribers! I love all of you! <3 Please comment below on what you think or if I need to improve, thanks again!