This is completely different from the original fifth beat, but I hope you'll like it! ^^ the original events from the fifth beat will be edited and be posted as other beats on some other time :) enjoy~

 

**

 

 

It was never the same for Suho that day.

 

 

He started to go alone. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. It hurts his heart when he remembers what happened. The other students quickly forgot about that scene, and they just ignored him. But in his mind, it’s still fresh like it happened just yesterday.

 

 

It’s been weeks since their last assault. He didn’t want to push through. Not yet. Not when the pain is still there. The other members were sad, too, but they knew when to move on. It’s not the end. They decided to take this as a lesson. As they saw how miserable Suho has become, they wanted to talk to him about it. But he will not answer, he’ll just walk out.

 

 

Take today as an example.

 

 

“Suho, how are you--“

 

“I’m fine, Luhan hyung.  Don’t worry about me.” Luhan knew he wasn’t. He’s alone together with Suho in the secret room since the others already went home, but he had something to do. He saw Suho staring out the window, like he’s waiting for something. Like he’s waiting for Lay to come back…

 

“You’re not. Look, you’re getting thinner…” Luhan tried to touch Suho, but Suho slapped his hand away. Luhan was taken aback by Suho’s unusual reaction.

 

“I said I’m fine, okay? Don’t bother anymore.” Suho moved closer to the window, silently telling that he doesn’t want to talk to Luhan about it.

 

“Spacing out is not helping, Suho. You need to be normal again. Lay wouldn’t want to see you like this.” Suho snapped at the mere mention of Lay’s name. Tears slowly formed in his eyes and his lips trembled.

 

“How dare you…” Suho clenched his fists. “How dare you say his name like it was nothing…” Luhan was even more shocked, if that’s possible.

 

“It wasn’t nothing--“

 

“No! It was nothing to you! You didn’t care about his disappearance at all! You quickly moved on! And…and…” Suho breathed in and out heavily, trying to stop the tears, but it was no use. “You already forgot about him…You wanted him gone, didn’t you? Yes, you wanted that. You wanted him to--“

 

 

It all happened in just a split second. One moment Luhan’s fist was inside his pocket, and the next thing, it already landed on Suho’s cheek. Suho stumbled backwards, the impact still lingering on his face muscles. He looked at his hyung, and saw that Luhan’s eyes were raging with fire because of anger.

 

 

“Don’t you dare say that! Nobody wanted what happened! I moved on. We moved on. You know why? Because probably, Lay doesn’t want us to be miserable, especially if it’s because of him. He doesn’t want to see us in a terrible state.” Luhan’s tears were slowly forming. He bit his lower lip before speaking again. “He’s already happy, that’s why he obliterated. And I know, deep inside his heart, he wants us to be happy, too. Not like this…” Luhan lowered his head. He slowly sat down on the floor, directly in front of Suho. He saw how Suho has become so miserable, and he became even worse.

 

“Hyung…just…leave me alone for a while. Please…” Suho spoke desperately to his hyung. Luhan stood up from the floor. He spoke one last time before leaving.

 

“Lay didn’t want anything of this to happen, Suho. Get a grip of yourself.” And he closed the door softly.

 

 

Suho remained silent. His thoughts rambled. He didn’t know anymore. All he wanted was for Lay to be here…right beside him. It doesn’t matter if he talked about music and didn’t keep his mouth shut, Suho will happily listen to him like they have all the time in the world. He would watch every performance and support Lay, or maybe even give him a little good luck charm. He should've not said bad things about the last song that Lay composed...on which he dedicated to him. He would do everything that would make Lay happy.

 

 

If only he could.

 

 

**

 

 

It was break time. The members gathered before entering the cafeteria together. They patiently waited in line and got their food. They decided to eat together and talk about Suho’s situation.

 

 

“He really doesn’t want to talk to anyone,” Luhan started. He didn’t tell them about what happened. He didn’t tell them that he and Suho had a little fight.

 

“He got thinner, it’s noticeable how much he lost weight,” D.O said. He was only worried about Suho. He tried to give him a cupcake once, but it ended up on the floor when Suho slapped it away from his hand.

 

“I think we should trap him or something,” Baekhyun suggested, on which he earned a smack from Chanyeol.

 

“Are you an idiot or what? That’ll make him hate us more,” Chanyeol almost shouted. He shook his head, not knowing what to do.

 

“Does he hate us?” Tao asked with full concern and shock. Somehow, he can’t stand the thought of one of his closest hyungs to be mad at them…or him.

 

“No, but he doesn’t want to see us for now,” his seatmate, Kris, reassured as he patted Tao’s head and played with his hair. Tao smiled weakly at him in return.

 

“I’ve never seen Suho hyung like this. He’s always happy and cheerful like he had all the happiness in the world and he might obliterate. He looked so helpless…” Kai almost cried as he suddenly blurted his thoughts. He was one of the first members of EXO, and he was with Suho all the time. He really loved him as a hyung, and seeing him breaking down was the worst for him.

 

“How about we finish eating and look for him first?” Xiumin, the eldest one, suggested. They all agreed and complied. As they were done eating, they resumed the classes for the whole day first.

 

 

Dismissal came, and all of them gathered at the secret room again.

 

 

“Hey, have you seen Suho?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol who sat beside him.

 

“No, not yet. I thought we’re going to look for him?” Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

 

“Right, I knew that.” His head turned, only to see Xiumin standing alone while saying something.

 

“Has anyone seen Suho since lunch?” Nobody answered his question, which meant nobody did see him since the last time.

 

“How about you Kris? I thought you have the same class in Physics as him?” Xiumin reassured. Kris’s eyebrows creased as he was confused.

 

“No, that’s only during Monday and Thursday. Today’s a Tuesday, Minseok-ge.” Xiumin sighed, not knowing what to do. Luhan bravely raised his hand despite the tension felt inside the room.

 

“Why don’t we get out of here and look for him? He might be in serious trouble right now.” Luhan knew that Suho is capable of hurting himself because of his state right now. He’s emotionally depressed, who knows what he might do to himself?

 

 

The members stood one by one and searched in groups. They’ve asked every student left in the school if they have seen him. They all said no. The members met again in the grounds with huffing breaths due to the search, finding no clue at all.

 

 

“Still no trace of him?” Xiumin asked. They shook their heads. Xiumin didn’t know what to do, until something fell from above. A school shoe. Suho’s school shoe.

 

 

They all looked up instantly, and they saw Suho standing on the railings of the rooftop. Their eyes widened after realizing his intentions. They ran as fast as they could, and they arrived not too late. Suho was still standing there, looking at nowhere in particular.

 

 

“Suho! Get back here!” Xiumin shouted. Suho just looked at him and didn’t budge, not giving a care even if it was the eldest hyung who commanded him.

 

“Hyung! Don’t do this…” Kai’s voice softened without him meaning to. Kai wanted to just hug Suho and tell him that everything will be alright, but Suho wasn’t Suho anymore…

 

“Hyung, please calm down and--“Baekhyun was shut up by Suho’s words.

 

“Calm down? Calm down?! How the would I calm down after what happened, huh? Tell me! HOW THE WOULD I CALM DOWN?!” Suho snapped. The members were taken aback by the sudden shout. Chanyeol was the first to react and walked towards Suho.

 

“Nothing will come out after doing this hyung--“His mouth stopped talking when Suho suddenly lifted his other foot, almost falling from the sixth floor of the school.

 

“Take another step and I’ll do as well! Don’t come near me!” He threatened. The members didn’t know what to do.

 

“Suho! That’s enough!” Kris shouted. Suho just glared at him and took a step closer to death, if that’s even possible. Kris wanted to attack him and tell him how disrespectful that was, but Tao spoke before he could do anything.

 

“Hyung…please don’t do this. You can’t just--“Tao was abruptly stopped by Suho’s rant.

 

“You don’t know anything! You don’t know how I’m feeling right now! How dare you…all of you…how can you just forget about what happened like you didn’t care for him?” Suho sobbed, and the members were once again stunned. Their tears started to form unknowingly. D.O decided to talk more.

 

“Suho hyung, do you know how much Lay hyung cared about--“

 

“STOP! Stop…please! Don’t mention his name…for God’s sake, please…just…go away from me, will you?” Suho pursued. Luhan can’t take it anymore and finally exploded.

 

“Damn it, Suho. You’re the leader, aren’t you?” Suho looked at him, confused on why would Luhan bring that topic when it’s totally not supposed to be discussed.

 

“Will you stop--“

 

“I won’t ing stop talking, Suho. Listen to us, please. A leader isn’t someone who’ll do this…” Luhan clenched his fists, wanting to just punch anyone, anything, but can’t. “You aren’t supposed to be someone who’ll leave s alone. That’s not a leader. That’s a ing coward.” Suho was about to speak again when Luhan got it first.

 

“’Before dying, the boy promised himself that someday, he’ll be a better guardian. A better leader. A better protector for the people around him, so that no one gets hurt in the end.’” Luhan took steps forward as he was talking. “That’s what you said to me when you told me how you died. Please…keep that promise. Not for me, not for us, but at least for Lay.” Suho flinched when he heard his loved one’s name, but did not do anything more. “Please…”

 

 

Moments later, Suho broke into tears again. The members now approached him and soothed his back and even ruffled his hair, wanting to comfort him. Suho continuously cried as they surrounded him.

 

 

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I didn’t know what I was--“

 

“It’s okay now, hyung. It’s okay,” Kai, being the maknae, worried for his hyung so much and was the first to speak.

 

“Just don’t do that again, hyung. It was scary,” Tao admitted. The members laughed at him.

 

“Suho hyung, look at you, you’re getting malnourished,” D.O commented. Suho playfully slapped his arm in return.

 

“Yah, why were you always noticing his physical appearance and his eating schedule?” Chanyeol asked D.O. He just shrugged in response to Chanyeol’s nonsense question.

 

“Okay, that wasn’t relevant so stop talking,” Baekhyun said before anyone else would. They laughed at him, knowing he’s right.

 

“Yah, show some respect next time, will you? Jeez, I wanted to punch you hard that time,” Kris said while cracking his knuckles. Tao held him back before he can do anything to the leader.

 

“Alright, I’ll remember that. I’m sorry for everything, guys. I really am.” Suho honestly said, now that his sanity is back. They all just nodded and told him to take care of himself. He never realized how lucky he was as a leader of these understanding boys until now.

 

“And don’t keep it to yourself. That’s why we’re a group, right?” Xiumin said. Even the eldest hyung was concerned for him. Suho was deeply touched by that.

 

“Right. A group…” Suho smiled at the thought. His eyes landed on Luhan, who was watching the sunset. He approached him and talked to him alone.

 

“Luhan hyung, I’m very thankful to you. I don’t know what might have happened to me if you didn’t--“ Luhan put his arm around Suho’s shoulders and rubbed his arm.

 

“It’s okay now, don’t think about it anymore. Let’s just start anew and continue to develop as a group, okay?” Suho frowned. He wished that Lay was here to be with him, but now he wasn’t.

 

“Come on now, stop thinking about him, okay? Time will heal your broken heart, Suho. I know it. Look,” Luhan pointed at the sky. “Lay must be up there, watching all of us. And he doesn’t want to see us crying and miserable now, would he? So cheer up.” He patted Suho’s back, on which set Suho at ease. He continued to look up, as if he was seeing Lay and happily having a conversation with him. Luhan decided to leave him alone for a while.

 

 

Luhan’s eyes landed on the other members who were having fun while around each other and enjoying everyone’s company. He smiled as he realized something.

 

"You're all idiots, you know that. Even if Suho will fall from here, he'll still be with us. No one gets to die in this world, right?" Luhan said. All of them looked at his direction, and suddenly realized the point. They laughed at the same time as well, realizing the funny situation.

 

 

But Luhan had to admit: he’s starting to love these idiots as well.

 

 

**

 

How was it? Hello to new subscribers ^^~ Hope you're enjoying so far. Don't be afraid to comment your thoughts about the story, okay? I'll really appreciate that. :) <3

 

 

And to everyone, I hope you can comment and upvote as well. It's okay if you don't want to, I'm just saying that I'll be happier if you did so. haha. I'm not forcing you, okay? ^^

 

And by the way, it's exams week again. :( Wish me luck! ;)

 

That's all! Thank you everyone! Saranghamnida~ <3