I found moments like this to be quite intimate. Watching a man use his hands skillfully to prepare what would soon be making its way into my mouth. It left my lips wet with want while my mid section clenched and unclenched around itself trying to grasp onto something to fill its emptiness. Focusing on trying to keep myself calm I gripped the ends of my bag while I leaned in closer over the counter that separated me from what my body yearned for.

“What else would you like with your fried rice, ma’am?” 

“Um, just give me the sesame chicken,” I my lips watching the ladle dip into the sauce feeling my mouth water. I could smell it and it called to me.

“Actually can I get the pork too,” I stood on my tip toes to see over the glass case as the chef came from the back with a fresh batch of sweet and sour pork, “please.”

It was always a good day when I had sweet and sour pork from the mall food court.

*~*~*

“You’re doing that thing again.” Lia remarked with her fork mid air as she stared at me chew my food.

“Doing what?” I mumbled between chews, popping in another piece of chicken.

“You’re while you eat and it’s getting uncomfortable,” Lia looked at her own plate of food spinning her noodles around her fork but never eating it.

“It’s just so good,” It was hard not to when I hadn’t eaten anything in almost five hours.

“Yeah but you’re turning eating into some ual experience and if you’ve forgotten we’re in the middle of a crowded food court,” Lia leaned in to me whispering, “there are children present.”

“Eating together is a very intimate event, mind you.”

“Eating someone out is intimate, eating fried pork is not. So please just…stop when you eat. It’s gross.” Lia stuck her fork into my food and snuck it into before I could swallow my food. “I think this is a tell tale sign of you not dating, you’re turning to food as your ual outlet.”

I coughed up rice into Lia’s face while reaching for my small sprite.

“I am not! Oh my god, why would you even say that now all I can think about is some ert ing to food. That’s disgusting.” I threw my napkin and my best friend’s face which she swatted away only for it to land in her food.

“No! I wasn’t finished yet, Jia!” She whined pushing her plate away with a pout, “I was just saying, who moans when they eat? It’s weird.”

 *~*~*

After shopping with Lia, I returned home with a bag of leftover Chinese food I planned to eat for dinner knowing my brother wasn’t going to cook anything.

I entered the house, hearing the TV play, “I’m home! Jong in!”

Usually, he would come running down the stairs or from the living room knowing I had food. I waited a few seconds waiting for his head to pop out from around the corner but when no one came I proceeded into the house.

“Hey Jong In, I said I was—“

Turning into the living room, I saw who it was that was watching TV and it wasn’t my older brother, “You are not Jong In.”

Seeing the brown haired boy sprawled on the couch with a bag of chips and soda on the coffee table my mind did not register anything but to say the first thing it came up with. The young man didn’t turn his gaze away from the TV. He only picked up the remote and changed the channel, “No I am not.”

I stood there for a moment tapping my finger against my phone I had in my hands debating whether or not to call my brother. “Well…who are you exactly?”

“Kyungsoo.”

His eyes stayed focus on the TV occasionally he reached for a chip but not once did he look over. I nodded, already getting an idea of what this boy’s personality was. I bit my cheek feeling annoyed at his attitude. If anyone was going to give sass it should be me. It was my house and those were my chips and soda he was consuming leisurely. I didn’t even know him.

“Alright, well I’m Jia... and I’m just going to go into the kitchen,” I pointed to the room just behind the living room while lifting up my bag of food which seemed to spark Kyungsoo’s interest.

“Is that food?” He finally turned (towards me) looking right at the plastic bag. I didn’t like how he looked at it so I slowly lowered the bag to my side.

“Yeah,” I spoke slowly and clearly hoping he knew exactly who this belonged to, “and it’s mine. So…”

I trailed off while carefully making my way to the kitchen keeping my eyes on the boy on the couch who watched me enter the kitchen wordlessly before looking back to the TV. I left the food on the counter, giving one last glance towards the living room. The back of Kyungsoo’s head was all I saw.

*~*~*~*

“Who is that boy on the couch and why is he eating my chips?”

Jong In was in the guest room putting new sheets on the bed when I found him. Near the closet were two suitcases and a pair of shoes I didn’t recognize.

“Could you help me spread this out, please?” Jong In handed me a corner of the bed sheet and pointed me in the direction he wanted me to go.

“First who is that boy and why is he eating our food?” I took the corner of the sheet but remained in my spot with my chin the air.

Jong In sighed, pushing me to go across the bed, “His name is Kyungsoo and he’s my friend. He needed a place to crash and I asked mom and dad if he could stay awhile. He’ll be here for two weeks.”

While spreading the covers, I fell onto the bed when my brother said two weeks, “Two weeks? Jong In, you didn’t think of asking me how I felt about this?”

“Get off the bed, you’ll get your makeup on it!” He swatted a pillow on my back laughing, “Why should I ask you about it? You invite Lia all the time and never ask me, how is this any different? Besides, Kyungsoo is a nice guy he won’t bite.”

“Yeah won’t bite anything but the rest of the food in our pantry.” I muttered putting my face first in the bed causing my brother to groan and push me off. I caught my footing before I could fall on my .

“Jia, that’s your problem but you know there is a thing called sharing. You should try it sometimes.” Jong In came around the bed to flick my forehead before heading towards the door, “Come on I’ll formally introduce you two.”

Back downstairs, Kai and I entered the kitchen to find Kyungsoo standing at the counter with the Styrofoam container of Chinese food wide open in front of him. His fork digging into the rice and chicken to get a good helping onto it, I wrinkled my nose in disgust, “That was mine.”

“Sharing remember,” Jong In whispered to me before coming behind Kyungsoo to pat his back. “Kyungsoo, I’d like you to meet my little sister, Jia. Jia this is my best friend, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo wiped his chin for any remaining pieces of rice that might have dropped when he put a spoonful of it in his mouth. He smiled but it was a taunting smile I wanted to wipe clear of his face. “We met already.” He mumbled between chews.

“Yeah, I see you’ve met that too,” I pointed to my food, “that’s nice of you to ask me if you could have it.”

“Oh sorry,” He laughed while putting down his fork, “I thought it was free for the taking. You just left it on the counter.”

“Yeah well it’s—“ I was about to tell him that it wasn’t okay when Jong In placed his large hand over my face and pushed me away.

“It’s fine, hyung.”

He took his hand away from my face only to reveal a scowl I had directed towards Kyungsoo.  He was looking at me with a playful spark in his eyes that irritated me more than the fact he ate my food. Taking a step away from the counter, Kyungsoo leaned against it lowering his gaze to look right at me.

“You sure?”

I stared him down noticing how his eyes flickered back and forth nervously before he backed away, “You know it’s fine, I’ll just wait for dinner,” Kyungsoo glanced down at me again, “Sorry I ate some of it.”

*~*~*~*~*

It was 7 o’clock in the evening and well into my family’s dinner time. I could hear them talking and laughing amongst the clinking of silverware from upstairs where I sat behind the top banister bars like I was in a prison cell. I refused to sit at the same table with Kyungsoo for multiple reasons.

One, I did not like him.

Two, he was sitting in my seat at the table that only seated four. The other seat were occupied by my brother, and parents.

Three, he was kind of good looking.

“Jong In, where is your sister?” I could hear my mom ask when all sound seized before I could hear my brother’s awful laugh.

“She’s upstairs in protest.”

“Protest of what?” My dad was laughing now and if my ears were correct Kyungsoo was laughing too. 

“Guilty as charged, Mr. Kim.” I could hear Kyungsoo chuckling and I could just imagine the look on his pretty face. It made me want to throw my slippers at him, if only I could reach him from where I was.

“Now why could she be protesting you,” my mom joined in on my misery with a giggle, “she just met you.”

“I ate some food that she brought home.”

A collective sound of “oh’s” came from the dining room that heightened my embarrassment to new levels. I threw myself back onto the carpeted floor knowing they must of heard my fall from downstairs. I rolled around groaning at my own stupidity hoping to reach my room before someone came upstairs and found me.

“What are you doing?”

Jong In stood at the top step with arms crossed looking at me spread eagle on the ground. “Protesting.”

“Yeah,” Jong In leaned down and picked up one of my ankles dragging me towards the steps, “get up or I’m dragging you down.”

“No.”

“Jia.”

“I refuse!”

“Stop being such a and come on you’re so embarrassing sometimes.” Jong In groaned letting go of my ankle not caring that it hit the carpet hard.

“Ow, that hurt!”

“Well if you’d just get up and stop being five—“

“What is she doing?”

Kyungsoo came up the steps wearing a wide grin as he saw me in my misery. I turned over onto my stomach to hide my reddening face and to avoid their laughter that erupted the moment I rolled over.

“I hate you all.”

*~*~*~*~*

Try doing something on an empty stomach. It’s not possible.

“Hurry up and go to sleep.” I moaned against my door as I sat on the floor with my ears pressed to it hearing people move around on the other side.

It was 12 in the morning but my brother and his friend were still up and moving around. After my little fit, I crawled into my room and haven’t left it for anything even when my parents came banging on the door trying to entice me out with a plate of kimchi fried rice. I could smell it and it smelled amazing. My stomach was practically jumping out of me to get to it but I held my ground surviving off the few pieces of mint I found in my purse.

This was pride talking but also mortification. I acted like an idiot for idiotic reasons but that was the power that food had over me.

Maybe Lia was right and I was using fried pork as an outlet, not a ual one, but just an outlet for other things like my lack of contact with the opposite .

I wasn’t going to dwell on that nor could I with my insides calling out for the leftovers in the fridge. “Come on, leave. I’m hungry.”

I finally heard the glorious sound of two doors slamming shut before I emerged from my hell hole.

First, I rushed to the bathroom. I’d been holding my bodily fluids for a rather long time.

Then, I took a shower more like splashed water on my body before hopping into my loose fitted pajamas.

I raced down the stairs into the darkness, excitement taking over my fear of the dark. I knew my way around the house anyways without the light and soon enough I found the doors to the refrigerator.

I threw it open, scanning the shelves for something good when I found the bowl of friend rice on the top shelf. “Oh my god, yes. Come to me.”

I whispered to myself while reaching for the bowl when I pulled it out and turned for the microwave when I came face to face with something scarier than an empty stomach.

“What are you doing?”

I screamed for two reasons in that moment.

 Before I could register what was happening, all I saw when the light was Jong In standing in the kitchen looking down at his best friend who was locked in my famous choke hold. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

^.^

new goal for myself is to write 2000+ words 

this will be a short story so less than 15 chapters 

I hope you look forward to it