Youngmin: Had you… sleep… well?

Kwangmin:  Yes, I dreamed about you !

Youngmin: oh, really?! What did I say?

Kwangmin: hum…

That’s time it’s my turn to blush. Most time I say everything to my Hyung, but right away I can’t. Can I ?

End of the flashback

Youngmin and I dress up in an awkward silent. In fact, as we spend all the time together we don’t allow us to take time to speak or just be alone together. It’s strange to say that, but it seems like I know him without really know…

We go out of our bedroom. All the others members are already in the living room of our dorm and are talking gaily. The atmosphere is very relax since we are on holiday….Hum, didn’t I mention that? Well, the boyfriend are officially on holiday because “You have done a pretty good work, guys” – our manager with a conspirator smile-.

Actually, there weren’t conflicts under the group, but this period was quite difficult for us….means we weren’t nice between us all the time…especially between Youngmin and I… Anyway, these holiday will be a breath of fresh air for each of us !

.

When I think about the relation between my Hyung and me, I feel a very weird impression… This impression that you know a person since always, you have spent your life with him, you know this person perhaps better than you, but, actually not really. And you have that kind of shyness between you two although you really would like to understand him more.

Really, it’s too sad! Perhaps it’s because we’re too proud, or perhaps because I love him more than I would like to admit it…

That thought makes me feel blushing. I have a glance to my twin. He seem as shy as I am. He tries to ignore me as far as possible. But we’re still almost the same. I have always ‘conscience’ of my Hyung, a kind of link between us, even though he is far - space distance, as well as spirit distance… - I think he can feel that too, but I am not sure.

Youngmin, trying to seems normal:  Hello everybody!

Donghyun, Jeongmin and Hyunseong are fighting/playing on the couch and don’t note our presence. Only Minwoo still keep calm.

Minwoo: Hello Youngmin! Hello Kwangmin! How was your night? You know you slept a very long time. Did you stay awake late ?

Why did he say that? Why? And in that way? It’s full of ……insinuation.

I blush very much. In fact Youngmin too. Minwoo seems don’t notice it and keep smile sweetly. Why did I believe him candid? He holds Youngmin’s hand and begins to talk about our future trip.

Minwoo: Would you like to go to the beach with me, Hyung? Or do some shopping…

My brother pains no attention to him. I think he is too surprise.

I take advantage of nobody notices me, to reflect about my feeling to my twin.

Our relations are became complicated anyway. I really would like come back when we are younger. That period when we spent our time hugging each other, playing or speaking, just being together – and enjoy it- .  I have a melancholy glance my Youngmin.

Well, in this time, I told everything to my Hyung. He listened me, understood me. And me, doing the same to him, without any awkwardness. But, since our group “Boyfriend” are more famous, we became more distant, more proud, in order to keep a good picture to our fans. We acted to differentiate oneself from the other, and the awkwardness came between us. Even though, in fact, we are so close, almost the same.

I look furtively my twin again. All these years away of him, although we were together. All these years so far ...

.

…. My twin, I really would like to scream you right away: “I just miss you so bad.” But I can’t.  Perhaps, you dare do it, I really don’t know. Anyway you are most brave towards me…

.

Now, he returns my look. We ARE link by an intense gaze. One second, we from only one person. How I feel bother! Then, calmly, he continues talking with Minwoo. What happen? It was terribly intense and…

In fact it’s not the first time he does that. Indeed, at this time, I notice that Youngmin Hyung tries to be closer to me, he is full clumsiness but so lovely - can I said that? It’s enough my twin-.

Seeing his cute and innocent face, his proud movement, his lovely way to act- always with aegyo- a dark thought comes to my head. Right, if I became embarrassed in his presence it’s because I love him… like a…lover…no! NO! Like a twin, because he is almost a part of me and …

I sit down to the couch, try to play with the others, but my deviant thought stills trouble me anyway. And if he gets closer to me because he is falling in love. Why do I think that? How strange!

I  look at him, again and again, he always smiles at me in a cute way. My heart becomes harm… I’m so bother…

Plus, all are precipice when we have to sleep together. Some awkwardness, even though in Korea it’s absolutely normal to sleep together, but…. between us, it’s very different. Why?

Hello everybody! A new chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

Would you like to see in this story?

Please comment !

Don’t hesitate to tell me if you notice mistakes or if don’t understand (to remind you, English is not my first language.)

See you soon! Ppyong! ^-^