My Heartbreaker
So Much for Lying
Bom's POV
“Yah!” Sanghyun calls out.“Noona, hurry up!”
Hooooooonk!
I hear the horn bursting from the car, and I know he’s just trying to annoy me. Aiish, this kid is really something.
“I’m coming!” I shout back, wresting with my hooded pullover. Does he not know how long it takes me to get this thing on?
After a much energy deprived pullover battle, I pulled on my messenger bag and slipped on my high-top sneakers before quickly shutting the door.
By the time I make it out, Sanghyun’s leaning out the window of the car. His platinum blond hair sticks out like an eyesore. Well, I can't blame him --- no, actually I can. It was his own real fault that this kid did chose this path. Not a good thing if you ask me.
As I walk out, the cold breeze tosses his hair around and at that moment, I shivered. The air was freezing cold despite the fact that the sky today was blue and partly sunny. I hugged myself, watching my breaths change into puffs.
I grabbed the car door and slipped in the backseat. Chaerin is sitting beside Sanghyun, and turns to the window before muttering a small hello to me.
Little fact: Sanghyun is use to chauffeuring us around. The only person who ever drives me around besides Sanghyun is Dara. Unlike Sanghyun, Dara wasn’t about to give up rides for free. She says her expenses are limited due to her small salary and makes me pay whenever I need a ride.
Bleh. Cheapskate.
Which is why I have to turn to Sanghyun. He drives and does my errands while I work at SM Entertainment as an intern. In this case, it doesn’t pay so I do part-time jobs. Which would explain why I’m too busy to get a driver license.
“Please, tell me Dara-ah is here,” I said to Sanghyun, looking around. “Please, please, please.”
She has to be here.
“Mianae,” He says. “She said something about cleaning her room.”
I narrow my eyes, shaking my head.
Dara NEVER cleans her room. She’s obviously avoiding me.
Which means...
There’s no way I can get out of this.
I even bought a whole pack of Shin ramen to bribe --- er I mean to try to convince her out of that bet.
Curse that stupid night.
“That girl better prepare for tomorrow,” I mutter, vigorously to myself. “Aiish, stupid Big Bang.”
“Woah there." Sanghyun looks surprise. "Rawr."
I glared at Sanghyun, my eyes practically blazing and he flinches.
“What did you say?”
“I -- I was just kidding.” He says, tensely before starting the engine. “You were getting OOC, I swear. You didn’t strike me as the angry type.”
“So? Didn’t your umma teach you anything, dongsaeng?” I hiss. “The last thing I need are immature jokes.”
I sat, fuming while my anger rises, boiling my blood. It strikes me that I can’t stand it ---- that I can’t bear to see them. It’s hard to explain, but a part of me magically hopes that they die or something and the fan meeting is cancel. The last thing I need is to see Jiyong.
Omo, why does that stupid Jiyong need a fan meeting?
Argh! He’s such a loser.
“Essh,” Chaerin says, peering over to me. “Obviously, somebody woke up in the wrong side of bed today. Now, what’s the matter, Unnie?”
I cross my arms. “I didn’t get my corn this morning, that’s what.”
“Unnie,” Chaerin chides, using her warning tone.
Her dark brown eyes pierce through mine like a sword.
I let sigh escape my lips and fidget, nervously with my hair. Chaerin knows me too well.
“Mianhe,” I said then and I try to be careful with my next sentence. “I’m just really frustrated. It’s only because I lost that stupid bet.”
“Really? Gee, why didn’t I think of that?” The sarcasm in her voice is clear and evident. She studies me for a second. “You hate them don’t you?”
“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it hate,” I corrected. “More like a desire to burn them into eternal darkness until they screamoutmy nameforhelp.”
So, Chaerin doesn’t necessarily knows about the whole reason behind Jiyong and the break up thing. I mean, how could I tell her? It was so mortifying that the only person I’d ever told was Dara.
But, Chaerin’s been good to me and all. She's a good friend. She has never once pushed me into telling.
“Okay, so you hate them.” Chaerin concludes and exhales. “And tell me why is it again that you hate them?”
“Well,” I bit my lip, looking away. I don’t know how to put this in any other way, Chaerin has got me trapped.
Gosh, she’s good.
“I necessarily don’t hate them, I - I’m not ready to face er, Jiyong yet…” I blurted out very quickly and buried my face behind my hands.
And they say the truth will set you free. More like humiliated.
Anyway for those who don’t don’t know, Jiyong is my ex-boyfriend. He’s the leader of top boy band, Big Bang.
Cool right? At least, it was until the break-up.
Let’s just say that he’s very, um womanizing.
From what I’ve recently read and heard (Not that I look him up in my free time), he’s actually involved in various scandals these days. He has a reputation of hopping around but, has never confirmed any relationships with the girls he’s been with.
Okay, so one word: Playboy
Not a very good impression if you ask me. I mean, who does that?!
Er, not that I care or anything.
“Noona,” Sanghyun speaks, “You’ll be fine. The last thing you need is a guy to complete you. Just go, ask for an autograph, and leave. I bet he probably won’t even recognize you with the billions of faces he sees everyday.”
When did Sanghyun get so smart? What he says... actually makes sense.
“You know what, you’re right!” I agreed, confidence bubbling inside me. “With all those women, he probably won’t even remember little old me.”
I smiled at that thought. Maybe I can do this! Kyaa ~~
“That’s the attitude! Besides, you have me your trusting dongsaeng!" He pats himself proudly on his chest, smiling. "No guy will ever hurt Noona again with me around!”
I laughed at his crazy antics. What a kid.
Sanghyun smiles before he rounds the corner, turning into a long alley and stops. “Now, go in there and get that autograph! Show Dara noona who’s boss!”
I gave him a toothy grin. Sanghyun always did know how to cheer up my spirit.
"Guess we're here." Chaerin looks around, eyeing the area.
“Well…see ya later, unnie,” Chaerin said after, coolly.
She waves me off, frivolously. “You’ll thank us in no time.”
Suddenly, my stomach churns and that intimidating anxiety is back.
Maybe I can’t do this. This is Jiyong were talking about. Just the thought him being just meters away in that stadium gave me the flip-flops.
“Guys,” I nervously interrupted. “On second thought, maybe we should get some corn before I go. You know what they say about an empty stomach.”
I laughed, nervously and forcefully (if you might add) in an attempt to hide my uneasiness.
“Noona, are you okay?” Sanghyun asked, worriedly. From the way I've just acted, he should be worried. Whenever I laugh nervously, people tend to mistake it and label be as some sort of crazy lady. Ask Dara.
Sanghyun, being the true friend he is, shakes his head. “Maybe you should do this another time.”
“Maybe you’re right, Sanghyun. I don’t really feel up to the moment right now.” I said, trying to avoid the fan meet. “So why don’t we hit the haystack and call it a day, okay?”
I make the okay sign and wink, playfully using my aeygo.
However, Chaerin doesn’t seem to be swayed.
“Unnie,” Chaerin warns.
"What?" I say, blinking.
"I can see right through you," she says. "You're not getting off that easy."
"But ---"
"No buts," she interrupts. "This ought to teach you a lesson about responsibility. You lost the game, you pay the price. Now go!"
I sighed. The gig is obviously up.
I have no choice, but to go outside. I exhaled, slowly knowing that I couldn’t possibly avoid this any longer and tried to drained out all the negative thoughts that floated inside my mind.
Think positive. Positive. Positive.
But...
In reality, I’m panicking on the inside and I am trying to stay reserve calm on the outside. After all that I have been through, what if I can't do this? What if after 4 years, I'm not over him? What if he rejects me?
No. I have to be strong. I have to get over my fears. I tell myself.
“Fine,” I say. I have to be strong for my sake and the others. They’re counting on me. “Let’s just get this over with.”
“That a girl!” Chaerin exclaims, enthusiastically and pats my back quite hard.
I take in a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
I turned towards the passenger door, raising my hand to the car handle when...
Sanghyun stops me.
“Wait,” Sanghyun begins, grabbing my hand. I stare at him, dumbfounded at our position.
He pulls me back and his dark, worried eyes connects with mine. I can tell that he regrets this whole thing. He knows I’m not ready. “Look, you don’t have to ----”
I press two fingers to shush him. I know he just means well. I can’t let him down after all he’s done for me. I owe it to him.
“No…It’s okay.” I smiled, reluctantly. “This isn’t a problem. I can do this.” It’s a total lie, but I don’t want to look stupid.
I quickly yank away his hand before reaching for the door and plopping myself on the pavement. I can feel his dark, intensing eyes burning behind my back.
Slowly, I turn to face them.
I clench my fist, striking it downward. “Fighting!”
“Fighting!” I hear them exclaimed yet Sanghyun is reluctant. He knows I’m nervous.
I don’t let the anxiety get to me as I focused on their encouraging words. They’ve always been there for me through thick and thin. I should be able to accept that fact they’re helping me. I don’t need to be afraid or mad. I need to believe in them. I mean, they’re doing the right thing, right?
I smile, the thought of their encouraging word drifting though, as I march towards the stadium. Plastered on the face of the stadium was the infamous G-Dragon and his fellow Big Bang members.
A wave of nostalgia overwhelms me as I catch my breath, looking up at the smiling leader.
I take a deep, sustained breath. I refocus my energy and conjure up all that confidence that my friend have been trying to build up.
I give the poster a bitter stare. I could only stare at Jiyong, knowing I was going to see again in less than 2 hours. I could only hope he wasn't to see through my mask I have been putting up for 4 years.
I shake my head and blow out a sigh. I could do this.
Watch out, Jiyong I tighten my fist as I take my first step
Here I come...
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N/A: Yaaaaaay! First chap! This is where the real story begins. Thanks to all those who commented and subscribed. It means a lot. No silent readers please!
So I haven't had the chance to edit this chapter, but I'll do that soon. When I was re-reading this chap and I thought that my writing was kind of well...bad. It didn't fit my standards. I did write this last year. So hopefully, I'll be able to edit this soon and post the new one. Sorry to keep y'all readers waiting!
Please subscribe and comment to make my day. ^_^
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