Irony ft. Onew

                    I looked out the hospital room’s window as my mom talked to the doctor. I had just gone to get a check up yesterday, then the doctor told my mom to come here. I looked at my mom’s expressions and she looked worried but then again aren’t all mothers? I looked up and wrote Onew’s name in the air. I haven’t talked to him the whole day; I missed his bright smile. I snapped out of my thoughts when the doctor walked in with my mom.

Her eyes red and her face was soaked with tears. I quickly got up and wiped the tears from her face.

“Mom, what’s wrong?”, I asked but she only cried harder.

I found out that I’d been diagnosed with lung cancer. I never smoked a day in my life and I hated smokers as well. But my dad never thought about that, did he?

I refused to get chemotherapy because I knew it was basically poison being inserted into your veins. I could’ve been diagnosed earlier but I never went to the hospital for check ups. Just another one of the big mistakes in my life. Maybe if I had known earlier I wouldn’t of fell in love with him. Maybe I wouldn’t have been in as much pain as I am in now. I didn’t have much time left. I had about two weeks.

I looked up at the sky with disgust.

“All my life I’ve wanted you to take my life… now that I’ve finally found happiness,”, I muttered dangerously, “YOU WANT TO TAKE IT NOW?!”

“WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!”, I hollered.

People were passing and looked at me like I was insane, but what the hell did I care?

Tears were streaming down my face as if I was dying tomorrow.

I felt my knees go weak and plopped to the cold, wet ground. I had never been so sad to the point where my body gave out. I was getting soaked by the heavy rain; I always loved rain. To this day, even though it’s probably making me sick, I love rain & forever will.

Me and Onew shared our first kiss in the rain…

After I found out about my cancer I never contacted Onew again. People usually want to spend their last moments with their significant other… but not me. I was going to be a burden if I told him and I hated being a burden, especially to Onew.

Onew was perfect in everyway and I always thought I would never be good enough for him. Correction: I am not good enough for him. Ever since the first day I met him I fell in love with him; that wasn’t a lie. I cherished every moment we spent together. To know he felt the same way as me made me so happy… ecstatic actually. But now I would have to hold those memories even closer because I have no time to make more. Even though I stopped talking to Onew that didn’t stop him from talking to me. He called and texted everyday, at least twenty times.

I wanted so badly to read the texts or listen to the voice that melted my heart…But I knew that would only make things harder.

As much as I wanted to be the one who stayed by his side eternally I knew I wouldn’t be… I couldn’t be. Onew showed me the meaning of life, pure bliss, but most of all true love. I don’t think he will ever know how much I love him and when I leave this world… I’ll continue to love him.

Even if he did find someone else…

_

My face fell when I saw Onew enter my hospital room. He saw my condition and his eyes began to brim with tears. I fainted that day, and they rushed me to the emergency room. It was my last few hours.

“What are you doing here, Onew?”, I heard my voice crack.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you the same thing?”, he stuttered.

“Who told you I was here?”

“That doesn’t matter! Why haven’t you been answering my calls?”

“Leave, Onew. Now.”

“I’m not going anywhere till I get an explanation.”

He knelt beside my bed and took my hand in his. I missed his touch.

“Onew, I’m dying”, I choked out.

“You’re going to be okay”, he replied firmly.

“I’m in my death bed and you’re telling me I’ll be okay? Why are you always so positive?”

He didn’t reply but tears were trickling down his cheeks. I gathered my strength to wipe away his tears with the back of my hand. Now I knew I had about a minute left.

“I love you, Onew… so much”, I whispered.

He continued to cry.

“Don’t you love me too?”, I asked with my own tears falling this time.

“I love you”, he said and pulled me into his embrace.

It was the last thing I remember before everything became blurry and slowly faded into a soft white.