NOTE: Hello lovelies, yes, I updated. I'm working on more updates for other fics, but I was so anxious to post this since it was finished before the festival even started LOL. Sorry for any typos, please comment & enjoy!

 

I always knew that I had wanted to dance. Since I was younger and auditioned for all the entertainment companies that I could, I knew that my dream was to be on a stage in front of lights and cameras, dancing my heart out. The thing people don’t tell you when you’re a kid, is that dreams almost never come true, that it’s so easy for just one person to drop into your life and crush those dreams.

   Instead of a stage at Jamsil Stadium, I was on the stage of one of the most posh male bars on this side of town; the ever popular club, 2PM. The hottest place in Seoul.

    The club was larger than I had thought. Downstairs was the bar and the stage, a few dressing rooms and the lounge that was reserved for more private parties. But the upstairs was turned into a studio of all hardwood floors and mirrored walls, furnished on one side with couches and a television, fridge and anything else us dancers might need before and after a show. It was like my dream was finally becoming a slow reality.

   Taecyeon dressed in front of me, taking his slow, agonizing time to pull the royal purple boxer briefs up his muscular . My eyes roamed over his body probably more than I should have let them, which he noticed and cleared his throat.

   “Eyes up here, big boy.” He joked mockingly, it was enough to make me look away, flushed and annoyed at the nerve that he possessed. When I was done being too chicken to actually look at him, he tossed me a wad of paper.

   I looked questioningly at the rolled up bills that were bound together with a rubber band. I hadn’t seen this much money at once in a while.

   “It’s your cut for the night.” He said so coldly it left me wondering if I had done something wrong as he disappeared behind the bathroom door.

   My thoughts of doubt were cut short by a familiar accented voice breathing into my ear. “I wouldn’t take it personal, sweetheart.” MinJun’s sultry tone mixed the sweat dampened hair that clung to his forehead just screamed of desire, the hair on the back of my neck still stood up as I turned to face him fully. “He usually takes a while to warm up to people.”

   I had momentarily forgotten what he was talking about, remembering too well when the bathroom door opened and the topic of our conversation stepped out, now donning a simple pair of blue jeans and a v-neck. I could never imagine someone could go from looking so utterly gorgeous to being so ordinarily plain and average in a matter of mere moments, but Taecyeon did it.

   Damn him for being so intriguing.

   “Alright,” MinJun clapped his hands together once and got our attention. “Who’s up for drinks?”

   Groans of disapproval came from the bars two young bartenders, who were just chilling back on one of the couches. “I’ve been handlin’ booze all night, Kim . . .” The redheaded one named Mark said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I need to get home, Jackson’s got class in the mornin’.” The bartender motioned to the equally young looking bouncer who was in the corner, obviously trying not to dose off.

   MinJun clucked his tongue in disapproval as Mark stood up from the couch. “Why’d I even hire you babies in the first place?”  

   Mark ignored our whining boss and turned to me, smiling so big it made me question if he was even old enough to drink, yet alone bartend. “Welcome to the team, hyung . . . You did good today.” He gave me two thumbs up and then took his leave, with the bouncer clinging to him from behind as they walked.

   “Jaebum, not you too, right?” MinJun demanded as the second bartend was gathering his things and readying himself to leave.

   “They’re my ride home . . . Sorry!” He blurted out the last word in English and took off before MinJun could guilt trip him to death.

   I almost felt bad for the older man, standing there with his mouth slightly open, as if in total disbelief that no one wanted to share in his drinking activities. MinJun pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, not even looking at Taecyeon as he spoke to the giant. “Get home to the kid, Taec . . . See you tomorrow.”

   Taecyeon bid him goodnight but stared right at me, it only for a short moment, nodding and turning to leave out the door.

   It wasn’t more than a second and a half that MinJun looked at me wearily. “Don’t s’pose you feel like gettin’ drunk?”

   I shrugged, unlike all those others, I was never one to turn down a drink. “I was just gonna go to sleep anyways.” Oh how quickly that infectious grin was back on MinJun’s face, his eyes sparkled as he draped his arm around me, and I could tell it was going to be a long, long night.

*

The smell of sizzling bacon filled my nose as I flipped the pieces over in the bubbling grease. I reminded myself not to forget about the pancakes on the griddle next to the bacon, and flipped them just in time. The four honey brown rounds finished cooking while I took a couple of plates from the cabinet. Sunday morning’s were always like this; at least it was one tradition that didn’t die in that accident. When I was done transferring the pancakes and bacon to the plates, I scooped the eggs on as well.

   “Pancakes!” The excited yell from behind startled me less so that I almost dropped the plates, only laughing when I saw Chansung standing in the kitchen archway, bouncing. “Sunday means pancakes, hyung!”

   Walking over to the table, I set the plates down and then poured two glasses of juice. “That’s right, it’s Pancake Day.”

   “I wants more!” Chansung’s eyes were huge when he looked at me, so full of hope. “I wants more, hyung~”

   “Eat this first, and then hyung will give you more, okay?” He nodded as I reached across the table and poured syrup over his cakes, then with my fork and knife, started cutting them up into tiny bits. It was difficult, as usual, cutting around his sneaky fingers as impatience got the better of him and he grabbed a bite with his fingers and nibbled on it. “Do you wanna go to the park with Miss Jessica today?”

   When Chansung fell quiet, I looked up from my food to see him staring down, like he was being scolded. Riddled with concern and panic, I spoke up. “Hey, Chansung look at me.” There was no mistaking the fear in his eyes when he did so. “What’s wrong? I thought you loved the park.”

   He shook his head. “I don’t go there no more.”

   “Why not?”

   I stood up when he started fidgeting, it was normal behavior when he was uncomfortable, he would pull at the fabric of his pants and his breathing would get deeper, like now. He leaned against me when I came over and wrapped my arms around him, his face hidden in my shirt as I rubbed his back and listened to his mumbling. “Boys on skateboards . . . they laugh when I talks . . . and they throw rock at me. I don’t go there no more.” He shook his head adamantly as he looked up at me. “N-No more, hyung. No more.”

   I fought the rage that boiled my blood and turned my appetite to rot as I thought about how sick and demented one would have to be to bully a mentally challenged person.

*

I never could get used to the feeling of your head splitting open the morning after a night of binge drinking. The taste of stale bile in my mouth made me groan in the realization that I had, in fact, puked somewhere. But as I rolled over, I felt the bed under me disappear and it was only a millisecond too late, I realized that I was on a couch just as my body met the carpet with a heavy thud. The sound of something across the room made me lift my head, though it throbbed in pain, less from the fall and more from the hangover that riddled me senseless and forced my whole body into a fetal position.

   “Hey.” A deep voice startled me, accompanied by a nudge with what I presumed was someone’s foot. “Wooyoung, get up . . .” I tried, I really did, but my eyes just didn’t want to open. “Yah!” MinJun yelled at me so loud I cringed and covered my ears. “Get up and get’cha ‘sum coffee so ya’ can clean up the mess ya’ made . . . Aish!” He added the last part with another kick to my arm and I opened my eyes to see his feet walking away as my face rested comfortably on the plush carpet of his apartment.

   I would have to remind him that he insisted on drinking last night, and he also insisted on bringing me to his apartment, where I officially lost count of how many cocktails I had consumed and thus, ended up here.

   On the floor.

   A sudden realization made me look down at myself, checking to make sure all my clothes were still no – which they were. Not that MinJun was a bad looking guy, far from it, but I was a bit apprehensive to have with my boss, at least not right away.

   Last thing I wanted was to be one of those people who ed their way to a higher pay check.

   Besides, the more I looked at the older man who was standing in the kitchen area of his expensively decorated apartment of a quite modest size, the bath robe he wore was a rich dark purple color that perfectly suited his caramel tanned skin and did little to cover his gorgeous boxer clad body. The more I took in the sight of his reddish bronze undercut that he just wore slicked back after his morning shower, and the way a lit cigarette hung from his plump lips while he poured coffee into two mugs . . . the more I realized that I was just totally out of his league.

   A man like MinJun, he didn’t just go ing around with any kid off the street.

   “Do you take cream and sugar?” He asked without sparing me a glance.

   “Just cream.” I tried to murmur loud enough for him to hear, I guess I did because his face scrunched up in disgust as he made our coffees and came over to share the couch with me.

   “I like just a bit of sugar,” MinJun said as he set my coffee on the table in front of us, taking a sip of his warm drink and closing his eyes, as if reveling in it. “Only enough to take the bitterness away – Makes things interesting.”

   “Somehow, I get the feeling you’re not just talking about coffee.” I said as I sipped my own and let the warmth of it numb my head, to which MinJun only flashed me a knowing smirk.

   Taking one final drag from his cigarette, I watched as he dabbed finished stick in a crystal ash tray and set his coffee down, leaning back against the couch and staring at me, silent enough to make me uncomfortable. “You’re not just some kid who dances in their bedroom, you’ve had professional training.” He finally said, waiting for me to validate his assumption. I bit back my surprise at his keen eye for detail and nodded. “I wanna know your story, kid.”

   I couldn’t even properly laugh; I just clutched my oversized coffee mug and stared at the soft brown liquid as I splashed it around the edge of the cup. “I bet you would.” I said bitterly and blamed it on the headache.

   The truth is, I didn’t want to tell him, I didn’t want to tell anyone . . . because I didn’t feel like going back there, to those times that left me the way I am now. That past that haunted me day in and day out, so much that I tried to change who I was completely, one of many failed attempts to erase the memory that had been imprinted onto me.

   “If you leave me, what will you be, Wooyoung? Nothing.” He said so tenderly it almost didn’t even hurt. “Always remember that.”

   Always. The word stuck in my head like a label, sticking to me and refusing to come off no matter how hard it was scratched and peeled at.

   “Well I ain’t gonna force it outta ya’. You’ll tell me one of these days.” MinJun pulled me from my thoughts, doing well hiding his disappointment but it was still there, tiny traces of it in the way he sighed and lit up another cigarette, never letting his eyes leave mine as he inhaled the smoke. “You want a ride home?”

   “Just to my car would be fine.”

   That smirk, that teasing ing smirk that almost never left his ing lips was back. “Don’t want me to see your home sweet home, I take it?”

   I wish. I thought as I looked down, shaking my head. “My car is home.”

   “Well .” He looked more taken aback than I thought he would, almost dropping his cancer stick in his lap as he started at me with his mouth slightly agape. After a while, he looked as if he had suddenly figured everything out, and said as matter-of-factly as he possibly could. “Can’t have one of my best dancers living in a car now, can I?”

*

I took my time browsing through the selections of flash cards and talking picture books that all promised to ‘teach your child to read’, completely at a loss. It was a blow to my pride that I was standing in this shop, surrounded by notebooks and sparkly pencils and practically every school accessory a teacher would want to buy for their student. I picked up the one book that had a character that I at least recognized from Chansung’s collection of toys and flipped through the thick, cardboard pages to see what grandiose adventure Pororo would potentially take my baby brother on but the conversation that brought me here was still fresh in my mind.

   Jessica backed me into a corner after she found out about Chansung’s incident at the park.

   “You can’t keep him hidden away like this, Taec!” She hissed quiet enough that Chansung wouldn’t wake up but angry enough to emphasize her seriousness. “He needs to be around other people like him, with professionals that can help him develop and learn how to be a functioning member of society . . . It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to him!” Jessica stopped and sighed, looking away from me, like she always did whenever I was being stubborn with her.

   “I can’t, Jess . . . I just can’t let anything happen to him.” I ended up biting my lip and leaning my head back against the bookshelf I was pressed against, so tired of this conversation, over and over. Every time.

   “He needs to experience the world.”

   “The world is full of s.” I growled through my teeth.

   “There’s good people too, Taec . . .” She finally seemed to give up, stepping back and motioning to the closed bedroom door down the hall. “Like him . . . and like you. What are you so afraid of?”

   Which brought me where I was now, staring at the vast selection of educational books and electronic games, reading flash cards and puzzles. None of which I knew what to do with. With a sigh, I picked up some colorful numbers flash cards and the Pororo book and then immediately put them back in their places.

   “You look pretty indecisive.” A sudden voice beside me almost made me jump out of my own little world. “Sorry!” The stranger said as he realized that he had just startled me half to death, but the only thing I could focus on was his voice being so unusually soft and gentle for how deep it was. “I didn’t mean to scare you–are you buying those for your child?” He interrupted himself, pointing out the books I was holding.

   “Of course not – I mean, no . . . No, these are for my brother.”

   Understanding came over his face and when he smiled, it was like watching the sunrise. “How old is he?”

   “He’s . . . four.”

   It at all possible, the stranger’s already small eyes lit up and then became almost non-visible behind the cheeky eye smile he showed me. “That’s really sweet of you. Might I suggest a few?” I hadn’t even gotten to say anything before he was looking across the selection of books and picking several up. “These are good for early reading learning . . . This one has a great numbers game in it . . . This one right here is for first graders~” He said the last part as he motioned to one of the books I had picked and replaced it with the pile he just picked up. “And someone’s going to need to be there to read it with him, of course. You have to make learning time a fun, relaxed and happy time, that’s the way a child’s mind opens to retaining things. Make it memorable.”

   “Are you a child psychologist or something?” I sent him a questionable stare and he flushed.

   “No, no, nothing like that!” He said, rubbing the back of his neck, as if he was suddenly filled with a shy doubt. “Oh excuse me, I’ve been so rude . . . My name is Junho. Pleasure to meet you.”

   I looked at the hand that was extended towards me and took it after a moment. “Taecyeon.” He smiled as we shook hands and I just couldn’t help staring. “So, uh – do you usually just go around bothering the costumers in here?”

   Junho’s lips closed into a thin line for a moment. “I actually work here, heh.” He tried to laugh, tried, and for that, I cracked the smallest of smiles. “I just got a little ahead of myself when I saw you because I’m so not used to getting customers like you in here.”

   Like . . . me? He must have read my mind because his eyes went hilariously wide when he realized what he had said and then he actually palmed his forehead, shaking his head while he tried to explain himself. “I meant, like . . .” He peered at me with an unsure expression as he spoke carefully this time. “Younger . . . male . . . fit.” I probably shouldn’t have laughed at him, but it was funny. Not like I wasn’t used to flustering some people, it happened, but this was something else and in the end, I just stared at him, grinning while he looked away from me with red ears. “I’ll be at the counter when you decide to check out~”

   With a bow, Junho excused himself, walking away rather stiffly and I just looked at the pile of books that I was sure I was going to buy now . . . just because.