I awoke early the next morning around 6:00 and snuck out my room hoping to avoid confrontation with Jessica.  Once downstairs I pulled out my phone and called Sulli.

“Krystal what do you want so early in the morning?” Her voice was dripping with exhaustion and I felt a little guilty for calling her so early.

“Do you think I can come over?” I wasn’t really sure what she was going to say but some part of me knew she was going to say yes.

“Don’t tell me you’re fighting with your sister again,” Before I had the chance to answer she cut me off. “Never mind you can tell me about it later right now I just want to sleep, so be quiet when you come in.”

Thanking her I hung up and went to grab my car keys off the kitchen counter. Without wasting a second I made a move for the door.

“Soojung where are you?” I paused for a second not sure whether or not I should answer. Shaking the guilt from my head about leaving my sister alone without any explanation as to my whereabouts; I crept out the door.

It was times like these that I was thankful that I had gotten my diver’s license and had my own car. It was like being able to run away but still having a home to go back to at the end of the day when I was done wondering about. Driving gave me a chance to clear my head.

I didn’t want to think about the possibility of my sister getting married. Some how I think I understand how Taeyeon unnie felt when Tiffany unnie was going to get married. Of course Tiffany didn’t get married and they ended up happy together. Then again Taeyeon and Tiffany didn’t have the whole blood is thicker than water issue that I have with Jessica.

Pulling up in front of a large apartment building I parked my car. Sulli lived on the 5^th floor and shared an apartment with Amber. Luna and Victoria lived only a few doors down from them. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t turned down their offer to live with them. It would have been nice for us to be together.

Upon entering the apartment I greeted Amber, who was already awake playing with her dogs.

“Is Sulli up yet?” I asked sitting down on the chair opposite of her.

“I don’t think so,” she said glancing in the direction of Sulli’s room. “So what got you coming over in the early hours of the morning?”

“Heechul proposed to Jessica…” My voice was low.

“I know you guys are close and everything but shouldn’t you be happy for you sister?” questioned Amber.

“I’ll take it from here,” We both turned to see Sulli standing behind us. Sensing that this was a private matter Amber picked up her dogs and excused herself.

“You knew it was going to happen someday,” continued Sulli, taking a seat where Amber had been moments before.

“She didn’t give him an answer yet,”

“That doesn’t change the fact that there is no way the two of you could ever be together,” My heart fell at her words, but I knew she was right.

“I know that it’s wrong but I still love her,” Sulli let out a long sigh and placed her hand on my knee.

“You have to let her go,” I looked down; the weight of her words settling in. I had to let her go. There is no way she could possibly feel the same; she’s my sister after all.

“I know,” My voice was quiet and defeated. Sulli gave me a sympathetic look.

“I think it would be best if I went somewhere else for a while, maybe New York,” I mused aloud.

“Do you really think running away is the best idea?” She give me a skeptical look almost as if to say, 'You know that's not the answer'.

“I don’t have any other ideas so yeah,” I had always planned to leave and go back to the states at some point and now was as good a time as any. “You won’t tell anyone right?”

“That you’re leaving or that you’re in love with your sister,” I shot Sulli a glare.

“Both, I’ve though about leaving for a while anyway,” I confessed. “I’ll still keep in touch though don’t worry.”

“I really don't think you should be so rash,” sighed Sulli.

“Yeah I know.”

“Since you seem to be so confident about running away when do you plan on leaving?” Sulli leaned back crossing her arms waiting for an answer.

I thought for a moment I knew sticking around much longer would only put more stress on the situation, but it wasn’t like I could just disappear in the middle of the night.

“I’ll be gone by this time next week.”

“I still think this is a bad idea,” She shakes her head at me, and I know she's right. This is definitely not one of my best ideas.

“As you know I don’t have the best judgment I did fall in love with my sister after all.” I gave her a sad smile.

“If only we weren’t sisters then maybe I’d have a chance.”