Jessica was gone when I woke up, but I could hear water running in the bathroom. It made me feel better that she hadn’t left but I wish she had stayed with me. The bed was cold without her. Turning over I look at the clock. 12:50pm. No wonder she was up; it’s so late.

“Soojung, we need to talk,” She stood in the doorway arms crossed. I knew that she was serious. And truthfully she was right all we’ve been doing is throwing words at each other. Saying how much we love each other doesn’t get us anywhere. I’m sick of all this beating around the bush; I guess she finally is too.

“Yeah we do,” I sighed moving into a sitting position; I patted the spot next to me.

She stood there for a moment before sitting down as if she wasn’t sure whether or not it was a good idea.

“You know this is wrong Soojung,” Really that’s what she starts with. I want to yell at her but I need to be patient; I need to hear her out.

“I’m not a child I do know right from wrong,” I couldn’t help being a little defensive. I relax a little when she takes my hand and laces our fingers together.

“In a perfect world we wouldn’t love each other and you’d be my maid of honor and we’d both have a happy ever after.”

“In a perfect world we could be together without having to care about what anyone else has to say about it!” Any world where I can’t be with her isn’t a world I want to be apart of. I couldn’t bear it if I was forced to stand by and watch her be with someone else. For me there is only her.

“Soojung,” Jessica sighs rubbing her temples. I can see the confliction written all over her face. Does she think me a fool? I know her too well. I know what she’s trying to say but I don’t want any part of it.

“If you don’t or can’t be with me then I think you should just leave.” I say harshly taking my hand from hers.

“Soojung,” she pleads.

“Saying my name over and over isn’t going to get us anywhere. Say what you really want. Are you leaving or staying?” I held her gaze doing my best to keep a neutral expression.

“How are we going to get anywhere if you keep acting like a child?” laments Jessica.

“Well forgive me for being immature but at least I know what I’m doing and what I want,” I glare at her crossing my arms defensively. This was so frustrating.

“I know what’s right and sometimes what’s right take precedence over what we want.”

“I don’t give a damn about that. Just tell me, do you want to be with me?”

“I-“

“Don’t you dare give me more bull about right and wrong! For once just say what I know you feel!” Maybe I was being too harsh but I don’t care. I am so sick of her games I just want her to be honest with me. All of this is absolutely ridiculous. She knows how hard this is on me. Why couldn’t she have just let me go?

“I love you and I want to be with you!” I’ve been through a lot this trip. I’ve been in constant pain and I feel like my heart has been breaking ever since we got. But to hear her say those words feels like a giant weight has been lifted.

“But I can’t.” I laugh bitterly at her words. I should have expected that. Respectable Jessica, prefect Jessica, smart Jessica, logical Jessica, safe Jessica. She was never one to handle what others though of her well. She had a specific image for the world to see; and Jessica wasn’t about to change that for anyone, even me.

“I knew it.” I try my best to keep my voice from cracking. I laugh at myself, as if Jessica doesn’t know how much this kills me.

“Soojung ah,” She reaches for me but I move away.

“Love is never enough.” It’s not a question it’s confirmation.

“I’m sorry,” I know she really is. But just like me she can’t let things go easily. I don’t even need to ask her why she came along even if she already knew that this wasn’t going to change her mind.

“I’ll never be happy without you.”

“Everything is always world-ending with you. Stop acting like this is it. You’re barely an adult.”

“So I’ve known for years that for me it was always going to be you. It can only be you!”

Why was she such a hypocrite? I know she loves me the same and if only she didn’t care so much about what everyone else thought. I couldn’t stand how stubborn she was being. How could the world be so unfair? Loves is love and screw anyone who says otherwise.

“Soojung life isn’t that simple. Just because you want something doesn’t mean you can have it.” Screw her and her morals. She’s already broken them. She can’t just turn around and pretend like it didn’t happen.

“I don’t just want you, I need you like I need to breathe. Without you I’m just alive but not living. There is no light if you aren’t by my side. Without you my life is meaning less. No one could ever fill the void that you’d leave behind if you left. And I know it would be the same for you. We’re a part of each other, forever connected. Even when you cast me aside I will always be there pulling at the back of your mind.” I wish I wasn’t crying, but I just couldn’t get her to understand.

Jessica pulled me into a tight embrace rubbing small circles into my back. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around her as well.

“It’s okay, we’ll be okay,” whispered Jessica pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“Why can’t we just stay here in the states? Why can’t you just tell him no and stay with me?”

“Because life isn’t that easy.”

I knew that she was right. But wasn’t that the point? If something was important enough you’d fight for it no matter what.

AN: Hey sorry it's been so long I've just been really busy with work and school. I'll try to update again within the next month or so. Thanks for reading if you have any suggestions please leave a comment. Feedback is greatly appreciated.