"...What do you mean, the fall drama production has been shut down?"

Principal Lee barely lifts his head from the latest issue of People's Magazine as he intones, "Due to unforeseen circumstances, the school budget has been rearranged to accomodate everyone's needs-"

"You mean, you shafted us so the cheerleaders can buy more tulips for their Barbie float!"

"Daffodils," Luhan corrects mildly from the side. "Tulips are out of season."

"This is so unfair!"

Principal Lee raises an eyebrow.  "It's unfair that I'm closing a production that consists of four members?"

"Yeah, well, we'd have more people if someone didn't hog all the solos!"

"Maybe if anyone could actually match my talent--"

"Maybe if you could get your head out of your --"

"Maybe if you could stop trying to take over my position--"

"Children!" The two squabbling heads snap back toward Principal Lee.  "Unfortunately, my decision is final.  Our budget is tight, and the homecoming is anticipated to have over 1000 attendees and will be televised on the public channel this year. It's a matter of school pride, I'm sure you understand..." A pair of glares greet his explanation. "...but, if you're looking to satisfy your musical urges, Suho Kim came to me yesterday about starting a new Glee Club..."

It's a mad dash to see which boy can rush out of the office fastest.

---

"So tell me why I need to be here again."

"Because," Suho explains through gritted teeth. "While I may be captain de facto, you are the reason 90% of these kids are showing up; so please, try to look like you're interested in whatever Mariah Carey atrocity is going on right now."

"Whitney Houston." D.O.'s whispered correction falls on deaf ears.

The screechy rendition of I Will Always Love You finally comes to a close, and Suho turns to the microphone with a smile as genuine as Kris's hair color.  "All right, thank you! We will be in touch with you shortly--"

"No." Kris interrupts.  "You're out."

Five ear-assaulting pieces later, Suho's megawatt beam is starting to dim. He can already see the pearly gates of SMU receding away from him. Meanwhile, Kris is starting to warm up to this co-leader business.

“You sound like a dying hyena.”

“Is that supposed to be dancing?”

“Are you wearing a dead cat on your head?”

“Hey man, you're pretty tall. D'ya wanna try out for the basketball---ow, what the hell, Suho!"

Suho is about ready to call it quits, go home, and drown his sorrows in the Our Nation's Leaders: An Important History documentary he'd taped over the weekend, when the auditorium door crashes open.

"I'm here to-"

"No I'm here to-"

"Audition for-"

"Be your star singer--ow!"

It takes five minutes for the mini wrestling match to untangle itself, revealing two panting, glaring boys. They look vaguely familiar; Suho thinks he might've shared a dumpster with them before.  Meanwhile, one of the boys--with sharp cheekbones and skinny jeans that look pasted onto his --marches over to the microphone stand.

"Hello, my name is Chen and I've had over 10 years of musical theater experience, starting from the role of Mouse #4 in the Nutcracker, to the role of Peter Pan in last year's spring musi--"

Whatever else is in Chen's extensive resume, we will never learn, for the other boy chooses that moment to grab a personalized (BYUN BAKEHYUN) microphone out of his backpack and interrupt.

"All the single ladies, all the single ladies..."

Suho's eyebrows disappear into his bangs.  D.O.'s eyes widen. Even Kris stops munching on his bag of lowfat chips.

"...Put your hands up...!" Crash! 

A well aimed kick sends Baekhyun toppling to the floor, and Chen takes over. "ON MY OWN, PRETENDING HE'S BESIDE ME..." 

"...UP IN THE CLUB..."

"...IN THE RAIN..."

"...JUST BROKE UP..."

"...I LOVE HIM!"

"...SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT..."

"ON MY OWN!!"

"UH-OH-OH!"

By the end of the strange but nonetheless spirited duet, Baekhyun and Chen are panting like they've run a marathon.  D.O.'s and Kris's mouths have dropped open.  Suho looks like he's about to weep tears of joy.

"When can we start rehearsals?!"

---

Looking furtively left and right, Oh Sehun shuffles toward the Exo Elementary School playground, clutching an envelope in his sweaty palms.  The results of 100 thankless hours of babysitting his bratty niece and reshelving canned soup lie in the envelope.  He stops by the play tunnel and hesitates. If he goes through with this, he could maybe possibly to jail! This is worse than all the times he swiped the leftover milk packs from cafeteria without paying, or the time he let Kai copy his History homework, or the time he... 

Shaking his head, he knocks on the green plastic of the tunnel.

"Password?"

"O-overdose." His voice cracks embarrasingly, and Sehun quickly clears his throat. 

A hand reaches out from one of the holes in the tunnel.  "Cash or weed?"

Wordlessly, Sehun places the envelope into the awaiting hand.  He watches, anxiously, as the envelope disappears, and hears the sound of $20 bills being flicked.

Oh my god what if this is a setup and there are police waiting and secret cameras watching me and this is actually one of those TV shows where they trap the bad guys! And mom and dad and Luhan are going to see me get arrested on TV oh no I knew this was a bad idea--

"Here." A thin piece of plastic flies out at him, and Sehun catches it with trembling hands. "Thank you!" he gasps before dashing from the playground, imaginary sirens blaring in his head.

Club Awoo has already hit the peak of its nightly business when Sehun reaches the front entrance.  He hands over his newly-acquired ID, trying to slouch in a mature, grownup fashion. To his shock, he gets in without much more than a bored nod. Sehun staggers in, overwhelmed, as the deafening music and stench of alcohol assaults his senses.

To be honest, he hasn't actually quite thought through this plan. All he knows was that a week ago, he'd seen Tao Huang slip through the back door of Club Awoo.  Tao had been wearing a hoodie and a mask, but Sehun could recognize that catlike walk anywhere. 

Or maybe not. After making three terrified rounds around the dance floor (prying off insistent hands along the way), and two trips to the bar, Sehun still hasn't caught sight of his target.  Sighing, he sits on the barstool, sipping on the Irish cream a nice lady bought for him. It's already way past his bedtime, and he can feel his eyelids drooping.  This was a stupid idea; Luhan's going to laugh at him when he finds out.  What a waste of all his babysitting money. It probably wasn't even Tao anyway, just some other dude who-

"Ladies and gentleman, please welcome...the Wushu Sensation!"

Sehun coughs up a mouthful of drink because on the stage, dressed in a probably completely historically-inaccurate but extremely revealing piece of martial arts costume, is a smirking Tao.

---

"I don't know why you're still pining after that delinquent," Luhan sniffs. "I heard he just got out of juvie for selling drugs."

Sehun ignores him, still high off of last night's adventures.  

"He dances! And sings!  But like, in a cool way.  And he has a six pack! You don't even have a six pack, do you?"

"Excuse me! I'll have you know, cheerleading is just as strength-intensive as any sport!"

As Luhan tries unsuccessfully to headlock his younger but much taller brother, the two nearly come crashing into a leather-clad torso.

Well, speak of the devil.

"Hi Tao!"  The words tumble out of Sehun's mouth before he can stop them.

Tao turns his head to stare at him, and Sehun gulps. He can feel the equally incredulous stares of the surrounding students as they watch the scene unfold. There is an unspoken rule at Exo High: do not talk to the delinquent kids. Not unless you want to wake up to find your left kidney missing or your entire house vandalized.  Beside him, Luhan is mumbling 'so sorry please ignore him he's just a freshman we'll be getting out of your way...' under his breath and tugging at Sehun's arm.  Meanwhile, Sehun keeps his eyes firmly trained on the chinese character tattoo on Tao's arm, refusing to look at the boy's face. Maybe if he pretends he's invisible...

"Hey." Tao's voice is surprisingly soft.

As Tao strides down the hallway, effortlessly parting the traffic of terrified students, Sehun floats away on cloud 9.  

---

"Welcome to Exo's first Glee Club meeting! How is everyone this fine afternoon?"

Suho's cheerful question is greeted by three blank-faced athletes, a scowling Kris, a wide-eyed D.O., and--

"I'm doing great, thank you!" Baekhyun chirps. "And may I say, I really love that cardigan you're wearing. It brings out the flecks in your gorgeous eyes."

Suho pats his cardigan, flustered.  Kris is mouthing flecks?  Not one to be outdone, Chen shoves a bouquet of roses in Suho's face.

"Ah, I'm actually allergic--"

The roses are quickly retracted, replaced by a bundle of lilies.

"I found these lying by the road on the way to school and couldn't help but think of our two lovely captains." Chen smiles winningly and hands a second bouquet to Kris.  Kris stares at the flowers, unimpressed.

As D.O. scurries out of the room to fetch some water and a pot for Chen's colorful offerings, Suho pulls out a DVD from his backpack.

"I managed to obtain the routine of last year's winning team," he explains, waving it excitedly. "This will be the group to beat, so pay close attention!"

He dims the lights and pops in the disc. Seconds later, the bootlegged video begins playing.

"Let's give a warm welcome to the next group, Sparklee!" the announcer's voice booms.

Sparklee's routine is a marriage of tight choreography and impeccable singing. It's not hard to see why they nabbed the first-place trophy.  And from the high-piptched screams in the background, it appears they have quite the loyal fanbase.

We're never going to win, D.O. thinks privately as he carefully waters the flowers.

"What the are they wearing," Chanyeol is snorting with laughter.  Lay looks confused.  Kai is oddly silent.  Under their breaths, Baekhyun and Chen are muttering critically about the lead singer's breathiness and pitch control. 

Suho turns to stare daggers at Kris.  "Well, would the co-captain like to offer his input?"

The rest of the Glee club watches, fascinated, as the two captains engage in an intense staring contest, neither backing down.  Suho narrows his eyes. Kris raises an eyebrow. Then, Suho slips his hands into his pants pocket, pulling out what looks like an ordinary flash drive, and rubs it between his fingers...

Kris looks away.

"Dude," Chanyeol whispers to an equally shocked Lay.

"Whatever," Kris mutters to his shoe.  "As long as we aren't called Sparklee."

"For the next meeting, I want you all to come prepared with a performance to show off to the rest of the club!"

Chanyeol raises a hand. "Uh, does that include me because ya know I'm only here because Kris--"

"Yes that includes you, Chanyeol. I'm sure Kris would agree?" Suho turns to smile widely at his co-leader, hand the flashdrive...

"Ahem. Uh. Yeah." Kris mutters under his breath, still glaring at his shoe. His scowl has grown exponentially deeper with the passage of the meeting.

"Great! Also, to raise publicity for our club, I thought we could make a float for the Homecoming Parade--"

"No way."

"Are you serious?"

Even Baekhyun and Chen look less than enthused about Suho's suggestion.  "Uh...captain," Baekhyun says cautiously, "Not that I doubt the genius of your  many wonderful ideas, but that's just asking to get egged in front of hundreds of people."

"Yeah. With Jumbo eggs," Chanyeol adds. "Hey, I'm just saying!" he raises his voice defensively when the non-jock half of the room turns to glare at him.

"Don't worry, that won't happen, because our friend Kris is going to have a little chat beforehand with anyone who attempts such a feat, right?" Suho turns once again to smile at his co-leader.

Kris's fists clench, and his eyebrows perform a complicated dance before he snaps.  "Suho, OUTSIDE."

"Excuse us for a moment, leader meeting." Suho chirps as he follows the furious basketball captain out of the room. The door slams shut.

"Kris is gonna beat him up," Chanyeol says in glee.

"Kris is gonna beat him up," D.O. echoes, panicking.

Ten minutes of tense silence later, D.O. can no longer take it, his own safety be damned!  He strides to the choir room door and yanks it open, taking a deep breath as he prepares to defend his best friend.  He surveys the empty hallway.

"S-Suho?" D.O. makes his way down the hallway, peering into each of the equally empty classrooms. "Are you ok?"

Maybe he's too late.  Maybe Kris has already made off with the body.  Maybe Suho is lying in Kris's car trunk right now. Maybe Suho is already floating at the bottom of the town's water reservoir. Or maybe Suho...

...has his tongue shoved down Kris's mouth and his hands fisted in Kris's basketball jersey.

A strangled noise of horror bursts out of D.O.'s throat as he takes in the nightmarish scene in front of him.  Behind the classroom door, Kris and Suho spring apart, Kris retracting his death grip on Suho's small hips and Suho wiping his mouth hastily.

"Wait, D.O.! Th-this isn't what it looks like..."

D.O. is already peeling away, trying frantically to douse his brain with bleach.

Single Ladies on Glee. I would die if Baekhyun actually did this.