Training For D-Day! (Edited Ver.)

Forget Me Not: Journey Of Memories
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After all the hustle and bustle about the plan made by Jinyoung and Hongki, everyone went to have their rest. Well, it's been 2 weeks ever since they paid up for the hotel fees, and decidd to move in Junhyung, Yuri and Taeyeon's place - The Police Station's Extended Shelter for the people at work. The three happily accepted them and gave off a warm and home-y feeling.

  ~GIRLS' ROOM~ BEDS (Just imagine that there are enough beds for them to sleep on ^^):   "Ahee~! I'm so excited for next week!" Yuri beamed, as she rolled on her back to face her two dongsaengs staying in the extra bunk beds. "Aren't you?" She asked, eyes full of hope and happiness, as if she was a kid who would get a prize for something. "Of course they all are excited as you, Yuridear,but give them some rest will 'ya?" Taeyeon butted in, scolding Yuri like a mom. "Arasseo Tae-umma!" Yuri joked, and the rest of the girls, even Taeyeon chuckled at her dorky jokes. After all the slight fun and short laugh trip, the all decided to call it anight and havetheir 'Lights Off'.   ~BOYS' ROOM~ BEDS (Just imagine that there are enough beds for them to sleep on ^^):   "AISH! The bed's too comfy for me to just sleep on it~" Hongki hummed while enjoying the 'sanctuary' the bed he stayed on for 2 weeks gives him a warm feeling. As he continued with his girly sentiments, the rest of the boys groaned in annoyance. "Keep your girly stuff to yourself, will you, Ice Flower Boy?" Joon muttered, causing 'whoops' and 'ooohs' from the guys. "Aish, I smell competition here~!" Gikwang teased the two,just to receive burning glares from them. In the end, he raised his hands up in surrender and warned, "Arasso, just sleep before we all wake up Donghae-hyung or el-" Before he could even finish, all of them were silenced by Donghae's growl, "GO TO BED, WILL 'YA? SHISH! YOU'RE NOT KIDS ANYMORE YET YOU STILL ACT LIKE ONE!" He complained, while turning his body around, so his back faced everyone.   "See, told you~" Gikwang whispered mockingly at the rest of the guys while tucking himself to his assigned bunk bed. "Yeah, yeah." The others shrugged him off and went to sleep as well.   ~THE NEXT DAY~   *CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! DOOONG!* 'What's with all the noise?!' Everyone thought while getting up and following the source of the noise until they reached the dining room - TAEYEON.   "Wakey wakey everyone!" She singsonged while greeting everyone with her overly-warm personality. "Woah there sunshine! You seem like you ate a bucket of sweets!" Junhyung teased as got down on his seat and
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Little-Red
P.S. If you'd all like to read my other fics, YOu'RE ALL WELCOME AND LOVE DIF YOU DO SO~ LOL! XD

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Vampirexy192
#1
Chapter 11: Oh yeah, I know I comment too much on this but I just wanna add, no need to emphasize too much on every word that seems unnecessary like you give in a bold font or capital letter and reduce the 3 period symbol. It just dragging your sentence. Probably it was a habit to put three dots at the end of sentence. xD Maybe, I assumed. It's okay, everyone make a mistake that they unconsciously did. Even me, myself ^_^ But if you still keep it, it's fine. Everyone has their own styles to write. :D
Vampirexy192
#2
Chapter 11: First of all, I want to say that the colors actually distract me. I don't mind, it was colorful indeed but I would suggest you do not use yellow color because I couldn't see the word clearly. >.> And I preferred if you name the female main character so you wouldn't have to keep it blank in all you story. Also, the thoughts of a person and the person conversation should be distinguished. Like we can tell that it was her thoughts or she was talking. People's point of view is already considered as expressing their inner minds or thoughts. Unless that person voiced out her opinion in her head loudly as if she was talking to herself. That is different. Like you use this for the "conversation" and thoughts, you can use 'this' or in italic words. Oh! Btw in Chapter 11, the protagonist brother had changed from Baro to Jinyoung? o.o What just happened? That actually confused me, I don't know if you had mistakenly written that. Moreover, it was difficult to you know telling their perspectives especially the Lee's brothers. I was rather puzzled because it seems jumbled up to me. Therefore, the flow of the story is a bit disrupted. I'm just giving my comment not because of I hate it, I just want to point out the mistakes so you can improve and become better. :D I hope you don't take any offence from this. However, the plot story was interesting like I can feel European or Victorian kind of style. Classic and vintage. Hahaha. As well as the mystery behind her amnesia and the history of their descendants. :)
exolovechick
#3
yea i was surprised to see exolovechick i would recommend to name the main character but other than that, i am looking forward in reading this fic :)
rukehna #4
scared the crap out of me when i see my username lol
yoonaaegyo
#5
Its realy funny because my username is also yoonaaegyo but otherwise I am looking forward to reading this fanfics :)
ILoveKitCats
#6
Chapter 19: this story is so mysterious . i must keep reading to know the ans .. jinjja daebak !!
chimaniecricket
#7
always sj15forever!!!!
x3Yoongiex3
#8
Chapter 125: i just finished your story & really liked it (:
jonginies #9
okay! ^^
Little-Red
#10
@kpopaholic121: SEE YOU AT THE OTHER STORIES CHINGGU~ :D